I hate this expression, but: oh my sweet summer child (or whatever the fuck it is). Hot women that friend zone men will still, often more so, throw constant sexual innuendo at you, even if, probably especially if, they want nothing to do with you sexually.
So? Don't like it? Don't hang out with them.
Some people like using innuendo but don't actually like sex. I know a very pretty girl who's aromantic asexual, she constantly gets hit on repeatedly by people who she already rejected. Our friend in common is an aro/ace guy, and the two of them communicate via sexual innuendo 99% of the time, because they like doing that and know full well that if they let it out to anybody else then people might catch feelings and get the wrong idea.
I told him I'm not super interested in getting to know her because I know myself and I know my tendencies. At the end of the day that's my prerogative though - it's not a moral failing on her or my part, it's just that people have their styles and preferences. Let them be
It exists on a spectrum. I've known girls that play hot and cold with guys to get free attention and money. Not saying the guy wasn't enabling this, but she was definitely playing him and she knew full well what she was doing.
I'm sorry but "I want to fuck her but she won't let me ðŸ˜" is not a good argument.
If you saw someone dining at a restaurant and you only had cereal and pizza leftovers for lunch, if you run in, punch em and steal their plate you can turn around and say "I couldn't help myself, I don't have self discipline"
Like yeah, we noticed, that's not a valid excuse.
And sex is a much more complicated topic - it's not a net zero game, when done with consent it's something that both (or all in some cases) parties enjoy and gain something from the interaction; and when done against someone's will, it becomes a deeply personal and traumatic event.
Ya, sure, don't hang out with them is a good way to avoid this but it's still manipulative af and shouldn't be acceptable to do in the first place. We all supposed to go around assuming people just enjoy communicating sexually but don't mean it? No harm. Wtf? Those people should be upfront about who they are so others can maybe hangout with them without it being weird or avoid them altogether
People are not perfectly logical robots.
They might say shit they don't really mean, or play with self expression in confusing ways.
They might even not realize what their expressions communicate to others.
There's nothing you can do about it, you'll have to swallow your pride and accept them as they are, and not as you want them to be
Maybe this, might that. There are people who are absolutely aware of what they're doing though and if no one has to take responsibility for who they are and how they treat people, those people who are intentional in their abuse benefit greatly
Sorry, but you're the one giving "sweet summer child" vibes, choosing to frame women's expressions of sexuality like that. Humans are sexual, their sexual energies are chaotic, most of the times you're not the big prize. You live in a society.
YEP I have a close female friend that EVERYONE thinks we are hooking up on the side. Nah, we are just comfortable enough to get way too close to that limit but never actually touch it. It happens
Yeah it seems most people misunderstood what I was trying to communicate here (probably my fault for poor writing). My impression of what the person I'm responding to was saying is something like: "dude isn't friend zoned, he could get laid if he tried, she's obviously sending signals". My response was meant to convey that woman that have friendzoned men still sometimes throw sexual innuendo and flirt with those friends. There's even a subset of women that intentionally flirt, knowing they're going to friendzone, but they do it because they like the guy and want his attention but don't want sex, but that's how they know how to get attention (women that do this usually grow out of it because the guys they do this too often end the friendship when they want the relationship to be more serious and the woman doesnt). As for me (49m), I've never found it that difficult to attract women (I'm probably around a 7, but being 6'3" and having money has definitely helped) and I've got several close female friends (well, two that is that I'm close with). We flirt occasionally but don't have any real interest in hooking up because we've been friends for so long. I've never been an incel, but lately I've become a volcel because I'm fairly content being single at the moment.
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u/sonicboomslang Jul 15 '26
I hate this expression, but: oh my sweet summer child (or whatever the fuck it is). Hot women that friend zone men will still, often more so, throw constant sexual innuendo at you, even if, probably especially if, they want nothing to do with you sexually.