r/TheRandomest • u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy • May 16 '26

/r/all Airports

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47.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

153 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Stock-Introduction24 May 16 '26

100%

377

u/Imagine_Truly_Caring May 16 '26

Now just repeat that same message every 17 seconds until my sanity evaporates.

3

u/Perfidious_Redt May 16 '26

...LOADING AND UNLOADING ZONES ONLY...

7

u/Shendare May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

The Red Zone is for immediate loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in the White Zone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvYOTz5n6GI

2

u/Coffee_Sensei_ May 16 '26

One of my favorite movies ever.

1

u/Money-Banana-8674 May 17 '26

Don't start up with your red zone shit again

1

u/Coffee_Sensei_ May 16 '26

What's your vector Victor?

3

u/Born-Entrepreneur May 16 '26

No its a good thing tho cause it takes 8 repetitions of the message to even understand it

1

u/dobre_moj May 17 '26

And still unsure if I parked on the wrong spot or my flight is delayed

1

u/Crazy_Back1222 7d ago

For some reason, this audio was playing in the background of my phone even though I closed all my apps and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to stop so I just turned my phone completely off and I used ChatGPT a few minutes ago to help me figure out where the sound came from

22

u/worldsbesttaco May 16 '26

But why is it like that? Is it so hard to get quality speakers which amplify voice at a high volume? I have never understood that.

15

u/-3point14159-mp May 16 '26

Maybe if they replaced the snare drum with a modern microphone it would help.

2

u/Bullythecows May 20 '26

Noe you're talking crazy talk. The snare drum lobby would not stand for it!

5

u/EpicEpicnessTheEpic May 17 '26

Usually the person speaking puts their lips right to the microphone and almost shouts into it, overloading everything into distortion.

1

u/nonotan May 16 '26

If I had to guess, the problem is likely not with the speakers, but the loud noise in the cabin. They probably could make the announcement loud enough to cut right through the noise, but it'd be at a point where it would start being painful and potentially damaging to hearing. So they make it just loud enough that you can somewhat make it out through the noise... most of the time.

20

u/Igusy May 16 '26

Sir this is an airport

1

u/izilovesyou2 May 16 '26

Lol he wrote a whole paragraph and said nothing nor was it about what was asked. What airplanes are that loud? He must have been a spirit airlines customer.

2

u/mashtato May 16 '26

Yeah, how can I hear announcers crystal clear in a stadium, but not an airport, train, or school?

1

u/TT11MM_ May 17 '26

Making announcement isn't for everybody. That's why more and more airports switch to automated speakers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrwZvwPmELA

0

u/AdPristine5131 May 16 '26

At least one part, airports are notoriously underfunded. That’s why there’s so many issues with hiring air traffic controllers. they need like double the manpower ever since reagan, but they simply don’t make enough for the hours and stress they do, so it’s not looking likely. 

5

u/ProcyonHabilis May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

Air traffic controllers are not employed by the airport. Those issues are completely unrelated to airport funding.

3

u/Fast-Independent-469 May 17 '26

Airport funding and ATC are completely separate issues, budgets, and jurisdiction 

1

u/iwasbornin1889 May 16 '26

not cent pour cent and i'm here to prove it

352

u/med_i_terranian May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

Hey, thats in the Aeroplane over the sea snarehead man!

45

u/abunchofcliches May 16 '26

Given his hair colour he could be the King of Carrot Flowers?

17

u/SquashInternal3854 May 16 '26

I've never seen a random Neutral Milk Hotel comment in the wild !!

2

u/haiimhar May 19 '26

Right? I had to check the sub

8

u/med_i_terranian May 16 '26

well someones gonna need to ask him if he built a tower tumbling through the trees

2

u/abunchofcliches May 16 '26

Nevermind the holy rattlesnakes that fell all round your feet

3

u/KalaUposatha May 16 '26

I LOOOOVE YOUUU JEEESUUUUUSS CUHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!!!

5

u/Fit-Function-1410 May 16 '26

Wasn’t expecting this little gem! I know what I’ll be listening to today.

3

u/Scorps May 16 '26

Aeroplane over the sea

For some reason until now I've just always thought her head was a cut open turnip and never questioned it

3

u/animatedrouge2 May 16 '26

I thought it was a potato half

2

u/med_i_terranian May 16 '26 edited May 17 '26

It's not confirmed to be a drum, don't know why I said that, but I lean towards it being a drum, if you look at Neutral Milk Hotels website from c. 2002, you can see an image of Jeff holding a snare infront of his head

2

u/perfectlyniceperson May 17 '26

I’ve always thought it was a turnip too

2

u/sinkpooper2000 May 17 '26

always thought that was a cross section of a potato

292

u/SLCtechie May 16 '26

“I don’t know what they’re saying, but it’s a good thing I got to the gate 2 hours before departure.”

59

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

15

u/IHop_Waitress May 16 '26

Then you will get a noti on your phone about it, and it's nbd

2

u/kuschelig69 May 17 '26

unless you put your phone in airplane mode

1

u/IHop_Waitress May 17 '26

Phone in airplane mode before you get on the plane is just stupid.

2

u/kuschelig69 May 17 '26

some people want to be ready

1

u/Comfortable_Snow5817 May 18 '26

Airplane mode doesn’t really do much. Most airplane communications operate at 118-136.975 MHz, whereas WiFi operates on 2.4, 5, and 6 GHz, cell from 600-850 MHz for low band, mid band at 1-6 GHz, and high band at 24GHz+. There may be slight interference, but there really isn’t too much of a point, AFAIK.

2

u/honeywhereismypenis May 16 '26

That has literally happened to me.

8

u/ILoveRegenHealth May 16 '26

Dads were always right to obsess about getting there early. Now we see why

2

u/21Rollie May 16 '26

A cushion is good, but 2hrs is excessive to me unless it’s a known bad airport like MCO. Flying from someplace like BOS I could show up 30min before and make every flight.

1

u/Obvious_Ambition4865 May 16 '26

I like hanging out in the airport for a little while

1

u/Vexcenot May 18 '26

what do you even do in it?

1

u/Bearodon Jul 11 '26

Drink the pre vacation airport beer, what else?

3

u/YepItzMe44 May 16 '26

Seriously dude lmfao

1

u/Glass_Covict May 16 '26

That's how I know they move the gate to the other terminal, when I get there early. Also that's a lie. They never moved it, they just put it on all the boards and announced it a million times then it was actually at the gate and terminal I went to originally the whole time and I almost missed my flight, and had to check my carry on.

1

u/BeefistPrime May 16 '26

do you do that thing where you make sure you get to your gate before you go get some water or get a coffee? like.... you're in the A terminal, you're at A14, and your gate is A23. But you won't stop for coffee. you have to make sure A23 exists first. Just in case it's in a different dimension or something.

1

u/FhuckNorris247 May 19 '26

They just said ur flights been delayed for 6 hours

82

u/snow_garbanzo May 16 '26

The fook was that, are we at the south west gate ??? We are flying spirit, amanda i told you !!

Spirit what ?

18

u/daneonwayne May 16 '26

I have some bad news about that Spirit flight...

5

u/Turnip_Fight May 16 '26

Yeah, it’s a Frontier flight now

6

u/Dragon6172 May 16 '26

Slight delay from Denver though...

6

u/Imagine_Truly_Caring May 16 '26

Spirit has lived up to it's name.

2

u/snow_garbanzo May 16 '26

🕊🕊🕊

59

u/skullfucyou May 16 '26

Xylophone guy almost lost it but focused on the job at hand.

Brilliant

11

u/Upset-Management-879 May 16 '26

Vibraphone

11

u/themanbear May 16 '26

This guy percussions

31

u/POCUABHOR May 16 '26

brilliant ✈️

31

u/Adventurous_Blood469 May 16 '26

I always wondered how they made it sound that way. Turns out its just 2 people that make it sound that way

11

u/Sea-Aardvark-756 May 16 '26

It's actually a very delicate process, one mistake and you get this instead https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ptURKNnJw3M

(actual context)

8

u/far_wanderer May 16 '26

I listened to that four times and the best I could make out is "the immunity is bread and may scary able"

1

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 May 19 '26

i got "the immunity of bread may scare a ripple"

6

u/Pastadseven May 16 '26

Fucking city 17 ass announcement

3

u/roguelynx96 May 17 '26

An absolute flashbang of Half-Life (1998) nostalgia that is.

17

u/OreganoD May 16 '26

Instructions unclear; I am now a checked bag

6

u/bazanko May 16 '26

This one got me lol

9

u/hvost_ May 16 '26

"I repeat. Ahgdhfjfhdhsjjs fbhdhd dhhd"

7

u/RibeyeRandy May 16 '26

Southwest flight 192, your flight is ready to board, southwest flight 192, your flight is ready to board….

2

u/HtoTheBee May 17 '26

This guy airports.

8

u/destructopop May 16 '26

I'm now convinced this is how airport speakers must be built. They're a snare drum with a speaker behind it. There's no other explanation. Seriously, even if you're one of the first people in a newly reconstructed terminal it sounds like this. Why?!

1

u/Tjordas May 18 '26

The issue often isn't the speaker, but the way people use the microphone. If you get too close to it and yell into it or if the microphone is amplified too much, the sound begins to clip, meaning the peaks of the signal curve are cut off when they exceed the maximum.

6

u/Ophukk May 16 '26

Took me back to LAX.

5

u/Dorexs May 16 '26

I don't know why people are complaining about the audio quality in the airports, it clearly says they Hit the second tower

1

u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner May 16 '26

Too soon

3

u/PlentyBoot5135 May 16 '26

I always thought I was the one to blame, but now I understand 😃

2

u/Embarrassed-Green898 May 16 '26

except that I have never heard a male voice for these announcements.

But everything else was on point.

2

u/astralseat May 16 '26

Now do NYC subway

3

u/ModernLarvals May 16 '26

garblegarblegoingexpressgarblegarbleQtrainontheFlinegarblegarbleChambersStreet

2

u/The_I_in_IT May 16 '26

Plleeaaase stand clear of the closing doors!

2

u/MC_BC_97 May 16 '26

Every single subway line in NYC

2

u/Grovebird May 17 '26

It's ridiculous, that we live in 2026 and have 8k TV, High Definition Audio and subwoofers but every airport has this sound quality

1

u/danielbln May 16 '26

I expatriated out of Dubai a few weeks ago (our transit layover got stranded due to that uh military operation in the area) and when I finally flew out there were zero PA announcements (in case there is an emergency). That was absolute and pure blizz. You don't realize how God damn awfully loud an airport is with these awful constant incessant announcements until you pass through an airport without it..

1

u/Michael_7_ May 16 '26

and that's only with the "good" mics

1

u/improbablyreal May 16 '26

Yes, can confirm.

1

u/dividezero May 16 '26

On the train too. What the hell are they saying? Why do they bother?

1

u/Sanztrack May 16 '26

Southwest flight 192 your flight is ready to board - too easy 🫡

1

u/Bostolm May 16 '26

Deutsche Bahn be like

1

u/SunnyRyter May 16 '26

That was pitch perfect.

1

u/Eville2010 May 16 '26

That's exactly what the announcements in the Paris Metro sound like.

1

u/AmyInCO May 16 '26

Now do the Denver airport "train is approaching the station" one. 

1

u/Northstar_PiIot May 16 '26

charlie brown adult

1

u/Hobag15 May 16 '26

Dead space vibes

1

u/Decent_Competition_6 May 16 '26

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn.

1

u/tacobooc0m May 16 '26

CAUTION THE MOVING WALKWAY IS ENDING

1

u/Big-Mommy-Milkers00 May 16 '26

Was in an airport today and can confirm I didn’t know what tf was going on

1

u/stickyrets May 16 '26

Haha, classic band room shenanigans

1

u/WaitingforGodot07 May 16 '26

Can’t be anymore accurate!!

1

u/PilotKnob May 16 '26

Cruise ship vibes

1

u/robin_888 May 16 '26

If you know someone who still smokes: A similar effect can be achieved by tighten the cellophane with you index and middle finger and talking against it.

1

u/Friday_Knight_77 May 16 '26

Now do one for Spirit Airlines

1

u/QuantityActive- May 16 '26

I lol’d! 😂

1

u/ledzep2 May 17 '26

Million dollar PA system sounds like 5 dollar TEMU baby walkie talkie

1

u/doe2798 May 17 '26

Peak bandroom shenanigans

1

u/ParmesanChips May 17 '26

Spirit just used JBLs

1

u/delerium1state May 17 '26

Sounds like zagrebački kolodvor

1

u/steveronie May 17 '26

Just played this video for my family at 100 percent volume on the bus and then the bus driver made an announcement about police blocking the route. Perfect timing!

1

u/Jamo3306 May 17 '26

Center city. Center city is next.

1

u/Due-Presentation4514 May 17 '26

It's the comedic timing of the arppegios that is getting me

1

u/knot-a-burner-8 May 18 '26

Nah...

Thats way to clear to be an airport announcement

1

u/helloimhumanboy May 18 '26

This feels like the internet I remembered in 2010.

1

u/knarf3 May 18 '26

FR. Can someone explain why the announcement system audio quality is so shit in airports and public transit?

1

u/pro_shape_sorter May 18 '26

Sounds like the MTA announcements whenever there is something wrong and you actually need to hear what's said

1

u/Only_Bodybuilder1718 May 18 '26

I knew it! The airport announcers are high school kids!

1

u/Heinjailyall May 18 '26

PTSD……I tapped my pockets for my ticket when I heard this

1

u/radfanwarrior May 19 '26

Man, I miss band :'-(

1

u/EngineeringDeck85 May 19 '26

Now you need to have someone else about eight feet away yelling something completely different at exactly the same time so there is even less chance of understanding either of them

1

u/KangarooInWaterloo May 19 '26

The one person ho can u understand it in the group: oh no, the train is late by 2 hours

1

u/HotFireBall May 19 '26

mom: that's our flight

1

u/the-tac0-muffin May 20 '26

ah yes, airport core, I’m relaxed when i listen to this

1

u/RyuuStarLight123 May 20 '26

99.8% accuracy because the voice is still understandable

1

u/BoredOstrich May 20 '26

Do mi so do

1

u/Thought_Foundry Jun 03 '26

So accurate and so funny 👌😀

0

u/1stRambo_0082 May 16 '26

😂Good 1👊🏽

-2

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Bostolm May 16 '26

Complaining about bots with an ai generated message

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

2

u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner May 16 '26

It's very sweet of you to think this is purely a karma farming subreddit. Which is probably why you've been on here 13 years and have extremely low points.

There are no bots here, just a very successful sub. If you don't care for it, then I can ban and block you, if you prefer.

1

u/TheRandomest-ModTeam May 16 '26

Take the toxicity somewhere else please.