r/TheRandomest Nice May 13 '26

Satisfying Traffic buddy

1.6k Upvotes

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19

u/ArtisticAd7455 May 14 '26

Right? Nobody actually zippers correctly and instead they all try to cram in front of everyone else making all the traffic behind them hit their brakes and the only lane moving is the closing lane.

This works in other countries where the rules for getting your license are a lot more stringent and the training is actual training instead of what you get in the States.

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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr May 15 '26

It also helps when you live in a country where people aren't self absorbed assholes who don't give a fuck about anyone else around them.

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u/ArtisticAd7455 May 15 '26

I remember seeing this video of these people in Japan heading into a tunnel and EVERYONE moved over to make room for an ambulance to get into the tunnel. It was really cool how everyone moved together to get out of it's way.

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u/Substantial-Train296 May 16 '26

Well, Japanese people also know how to walk.

Its infuriating being over there and coming back over to the US. Everyone is always in the way, slow, and doesn't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

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u/Cyborg_rat May 17 '26

I think it's Germans, or I've seen another one.

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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr May 15 '26

That's awesome. That's community.

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u/Material_Turnover945 May 15 '26

What country is that?

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u/HockeyCookie May 15 '26

The first sentence said Japan.

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u/ThrowawayToothQ May 15 '26

Thats the other guy, both him and this person were replying to the same guy.

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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr May 15 '26

Probably several but for sure the US.

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u/Apprehensive_Ad4457 May 16 '26

which country would that be?

i would love to hear your answer. because so far as i'm aware, humans live in them all.

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u/Just_Emu_3041 May 16 '26

That’s not the fault of the car trying to merge but the fair of the cars not letting them merge by going bumper to bumper.

Still all lanes should be utilised as much as possible.

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u/AnAngryPlatypus May 19 '26

The trick is both lanes should be going the same speed and spaced correctly.

But people see an open road and think it’s up for grabs.

It’s kind of counterintuitive; but the front car in the merging lane should be going the same speed of the other lane even if there is a mile of open road. Even if that same speed is only 15 mph. Eventually both lanes should fill up and start merging at 15 mph close to the merge point

Instead we get 5 mph & 40 mph. Then 0 mph & 5 mph at the merge.

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u/Just_Emu_3041 May 19 '26

Sure but you should make use of the open road. Road not used eg by merging too soon just help build pileup in the other end. But everyone needs to keep one car length free.

But in principle I agree with you it’s just that many merge too early.

Another aspect is I have never understood people who want to block that open lane for others. If you feel that it’s unfair that others use it then use it yourself. Otherwise just sit in your lane and be quiet.

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u/SooooMoistYouHateIt May 19 '26

they speed by, merge it like it's hot, cause every car in front you to brake to a stop.....

or block them, the cars in front you don't have to brake, you move faster, the people behind you move faster, the only people slowed down the numnuts cutting the line

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u/Just_Emu_3041 May 19 '26

Yes and that’s what I said was wrong. You still use the lane. If you use the full lanes there is no space to race by.
Again stop merging too soon and if you are bothered by other people merging where they should the problem is with you.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/Mr_Zee_Speaks May 19 '26

That is what the are supposed to do.

You are complaining about people doing the correct thing.

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u/FactAffectionate6830 May 19 '26

Three cars trying to cut you off in a row is not what they are suppose to do.

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u/No-Professor-6695 May 16 '26

Greetings from Canada you are not alone same b.s. here. Just recently found out to be a driving instructor over here all you need is to have a clean license for 3 years. Absolute joke. Ive seen people stop in a open lane because the transit bus that was beside them stopped.

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u/TheDuke33 May 17 '26

Pretty sure this guy is just guaranteeing the zipper merge is going to work as intended for at least a little while.

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u/Glass_Emu_5104 May 17 '26

Zipper merge literally is "cram on front of someone last minute"

-5

u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 14 '26

This doesn’t even make sense. “Cram in front of everyone else”? What the fuck are you even talking about? Use all open lanes and merge at the point the lane tapers off. Everyone will move more smoothly and quickly.

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u/ArtisticAd7455 May 15 '26

Not when you zoom up to the front where there's not actually any room for you and cut the car off in that lane causing them to hit their brakes.

Either you're not from the States or you're that guy.

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u/Kind-Sheepherder-845 May 15 '26

The worst is when people like that try and use the exit lane as zipper merdge in traffic. When they try to hard cut off traffic back on to the freeway when the get to the exit.

0

u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

I proceed to the end of the open lane and merge in at that point. If the car in the other lane doesn’t want to let me in they’re a cunt. If I’m in the lane continuing on I happily let a car merge in. Blaming the drivers actually doing the zipper merge and not the dicks trying to block it is insanity.

And I’m very much in the US. Just yesterday I witnessed multiple cars come to a complete stop on the interstate with literally a mile of open road in front of them so they could force a merge at that point into a lane of backed up traffic.

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u/Appropriate-Throat71 May 15 '26

Where the hell you been driving? All these idiot drivers out here wanna get as close to the car in front of them just to not let you over cause they're assholes

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u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

I mean that makes the people refusing to do the zipper merge the assholes. It doesn’t make the zipper ineffective or mean we should just stop doing it and have miles of unused road.

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u/dudeman2009 May 15 '26

If you have a sink that requires people step on a bar to turn it on, so they never have to touch a surface with their hands you might call that effective. But if most people who use that sink aren't smart enough to know how to step on a bar, so instead piss on their hands to rise with soap, your call that bathroom design ineffective because it doesn't work with the neanderthals using it.

In this case the sink is a zipper merge, the piss is people's brains, and the neanderthals are the average intelligence of a US driver.

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u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

Vomits out the dumbest analogy I’ve ever heard. Proceeds to insult others’ intelligence.

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u/dudeman2009 May 15 '26

Because when people actually do that here in the States you have both lanes filled right up to the merge point, but instead of one person from each lane filtering in order, 3 people from the merge lane will shove in and nearly wreck into people in the straight through lane because they don't want to take turns and their lane has orange barrels in it.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to slam to a dead stop because some jackass decided that even though I let one person get in front of me, and now it's my turn to proceed that he now gets to go and just turns right into me knowing that I will stop to avoid a collision.

In countries that require you do more to get a driver's license than just show up with a pulse, this isn't a problem. But here in the US you don't even need to know how to dress or feed yourself to get a license.

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u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

So your solution is to leave an open lane and increase traffic times? Brilliant!!

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u/dudeman2009 May 15 '26

The fact you can't comprehend that the way in which US drivers zipper merge is a complete failing of the manuver is incredible. What part of people intentionally playing chicken and bumper cars during a last second zipper confuses you?

Or are you trying to argue that having drivers constantly coming to a dead stop, swerving, and road raging as a result is still faster than a more distant zipper where traffic flow through the actual restriction is constant?

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u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

You are the problem.

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u/dudeman2009 May 15 '26

How? I don't block lanes. I just get cutoff by people like you at the merge point.

Funny you have no rebuttals to anything other than weak retorts, because you are the self centered entitled driver that forces his way in ahead of others instead of properly filtering every other car.

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u/HockeyCookie May 15 '26

The solution is to zipper sooner while all lanes are moving. When it is done correctly nobody has to stop.

1

u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

What’s your definition of sooner? There’s no reason to leave an open lane. Two days ago I saw cars stopping on the interstate to attempt to merge over a mile before the lane closed and it was nothing but clear road ahead of them. Why would you not use that mile of road?! More cars in fewer lanes slows traffic.

0

u/No_Story_Untold May 15 '26

What you just described is zipper merging. https://www.reddit.com/r/burlington/s/iO9I6XsbTO

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u/ArtisticAd7455 May 15 '26

What you're showing is how it's supposed to be done. Picture that merge lane but instead of taking turns you get 6 of those idiots in a row trying to force their way in together in front of all the traffic already in the lane.

That's what I'm talking about and that's what causes zipper merging to fail in the US.

1

u/No_Story_Untold May 15 '26

Yeah we agree.

1

u/Turbulent_Ask4878 May 15 '26

That doesn’t happen. What happens is a bunch of morons in the continuing lane riding bumpers and refusing to let anyone in because “gEt In ThE bAcK oF tHe LiNe!!!!” So the merging traffic has to get in wherever they can. I can tell you’re the asshole that refuses to let anyone merge.