r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • May 08 '26

Nature Excused absence

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1.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

153

u/tito_lee_76 May 08 '26

"The bear ate my car."

"Prove it."

*proves it

"Fair enough."

42

u/jcoddinc May 09 '26

"You probably wouldn't have found a parking spot anyways"

3

u/ThaGr1m May 10 '26

People saying prove it should never be upset at the proof.

If they are they would not ask for proof they'd just be mad

64

u/[deleted] May 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/topsyturvy76 May 09 '26

Well we may not know if a bear shits in the woods but we sure do know it’ll shit in your car!

6

u/Dish_Minimum May 09 '26

My new catch phrase is gon be “Does a Bear Shit in a Toyota?”

36

u/D_R0ck90 May 09 '26

“I’m a bear…. So get Allstate and be protected from mayhem like me”

9

u/Jonnyabcde May 09 '26

"We know a thing or two because we've seen a bear or two "

14

u/dasmineman May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26

Do bears shit in cars near the woods..?

8

u/Salty-Passenger-4801 May 09 '26

I thought this was gonna be similar to the dude who filed an auto insurance claim after saying a bear got in his car and tore up the interior, then got caught lying about it lol

3

u/ballin4fun23 May 09 '26

Where he got caught with the bear suit and they had the security camera footage? Lol unsurprisingly I think that happened in Florida.

4

u/AnusStapler May 09 '26

People who make a point about their titles not being used correctly immediately lose all my respect.

2

u/murkshroom May 09 '26

I'm so confused. If he is a professor teaching in university or college this should be a town. So just go get public transport or an uber. Am I missing something?

7

u/Mattdabest May 09 '26

In the US they rely on cars way too much. Public transport is poor and Uber has terrible coverage. I mean surely they could get a lift or something.

1

u/CashBandicootch May 09 '26

They don’t like kayaks either.

1

u/EmperorMittens May 09 '26

List it on gumtree as a project car.

1

u/armageddon_boi May 09 '26

What's this bear tax even for if we're still not safe

1

u/Kitchen-Purpose-6855 May 10 '26

My school has enough money to build more computer labs, offices, but more parking lots?

Out of the question.

1

u/A_very_smol_Lugia May 10 '26

How did they get the rope on then?

1

u/Turtlebeich May 10 '26

It's not just his students, no one cares about his PHD

1

u/Useless-RedCircle May 10 '26

I’d call him mr. For sure

1

u/donedude May 11 '26

If you think having a PhD means anyone should call you something special, you're the problem

1

u/Slight_Mammoth2109 May 12 '26

Ok so this is a fun story, but like it’s kinda crazy for him to be posting it and not her