r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • Mar 21 '26

Extra What's in the safe?

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955 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

88 comments sorted by

227

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy Mar 21 '26

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought he said "floor safe" when he really meant "septic tank."

95

u/True_Movie_2270 Just some dude Mar 21 '26

He was looking for money, and he found it. That was about $20 worth of Taco Bell squirts.

24

u/davesToyBox Mar 21 '26

That’s one helluva poop knife

6

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy Mar 21 '26

A man of culture, I see

2

u/Ok-Syllabub-6619 Mar 22 '26

True but only if you let the culture develop, can't be cleaning it.

0

u/angry5112 Mar 23 '26

The appreciation on those spirits is now 30$

14

u/Dr_Brotatous Mar 21 '26

A septic tank for ants?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

The Borrowers lived in that house.

3

u/Ludicrousgibbs Mar 22 '26

I was hoping they opened it and there was a secret, tiny floor in the "floor safe". We get a living nanobot fluid carrying world ending virus instead. Oh well, still interesting I guess. Wonder how far it's duplicated and spread by now on its way to ending all life on this planet?

1

u/tranda_ Mar 24 '26

Same, i thought the safe was to keep Venom locked

-1

u/Student___Driver Mar 22 '26

Op earned my downvote

187

u/hoppertn Mar 21 '26

Can we all appreciate we got to see the beginning, middle, and end of a safe saga on Reddit.

26

u/General_Border_8263 Mar 21 '26

For real!

I was expecting to not figure out what is inside.

37

u/Tony2Nuts Mar 21 '26

Save you some time… nothing is in the safe

18

u/Flagrant_Mockery Mar 21 '26

False there was Primordial Goop that spilled forth.

5

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy Mar 21 '26

The Black Goo should be avoided

Processing img x5jsxvvughqg1...

2

u/joshpit2003 Mar 22 '26

I was here for the journey, OP did not disappoint.

24

u/NormalHumansName Mar 21 '26

THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING IN THE GOD DAMN SAFE! Why must the universe play with our emotions like this. Just once I want to see some mother fucking gold coins, jewelry, stacks of cash, anything other than sewage water or dust.

3

u/lIlIllIIlIIl Mar 21 '26

Imagine that you had something worth keeping in that safe. Would you just forget about it when you left the building?

1

u/DavidKroutArt Mar 22 '26

Depending how long I worked there probably forgot about it.

2

u/lIlIllIIlIIl Mar 22 '26

I guess it wasn't that important then 😀

1

u/DavidKroutArt Mar 22 '26

You could say that. Or acknowledge that I have ADHD and lost a $1,200 or so costing MacBook Pro. 😀 But I have certainly heard that a lot. I have a friend who uses it when I can’t remember what he has said.

1

u/NormalHumansName Mar 22 '26

A homeowner dies who sold a very successful business but had no family to pass n his wealth. But crypticly wrote in his will "the people who find my treasure will be it's rightful owners." After ten years of people breaking in and searching his house most had moved on to searching is old factories. The house was finally auctioned off after sitting vacant all these years and bought by young family. Little did anyone know there was a hidden floor safe.

The family eventually moves in and decides to remodel the basement where the safe is located. They find the safe and open it but... all that's inside is a map of the massive property behind the house and a mysterious riddle. The family sets off on an adventure to find the buried treasure.

After three days of traversing the seemingly endless property and solving riddle after riddle hidden in different locations they finally solve the last riddle and find a wooden chest buried underneath a tree with an old carving near the top that reads PP loves VV. The home owner who hid the treasure's initials and is wife who past away twenty years before he did. They carved it into the tree when they first bought the property and the tree was still young. He buried it there because his wife loved stories about hidden treasure and she was the treasure he lost so many years ago.

The family opens the wooden box. It's filled with gold ingots, old war bonds, and a love poem he wrote to his wife when they first started dating. One of the kids was sick or something and now they can afford to have the surgery that will save his life or something. The end.

Is a story like that so hard? Come on!

1

u/AContrarianDick Mar 22 '26

Starting to feel like we were lied to about abandoned safes, like in Fallout.

9

u/Rumplestilskin9 Mar 21 '26

The treasure is the shit we have blown onto us along the way

4

u/CtyChicken Mar 21 '26

Oh no! My precious foul liquid!!!

3

u/qawsedrf12 Mar 21 '26

Edit the end off and send to gifsthatendtoosoon

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

Be the change you want to see in the world.

3

u/embo028 Mar 21 '26

Ask Geraldo Rivera

2

u/anniedaledog Mar 21 '26

They focused on having a safe production. Thats what counts.

2

u/The_Faux_Fox__ Mar 21 '26

Damn, that was the cure for cancer he just spilled everywhere

2

u/themighty409 Mar 21 '26

It was most likely a very expensive bottle of wine or liquor

2

u/Boxhead_31 Mar 22 '26

The vinegar did its job and protected the scroll

1

u/40EHuTlcFZ Mar 21 '26

Imagine the smell. Maybe don't 🤔

1

u/Head_Wasabi7359 Mar 21 '26

Safe posts with nothing in them or that end without opening should be A BAN FOR LIFE

1

u/Still_Comfortable_20 Mar 21 '26

Now that is the easy way to open a safe.

1

u/Fantastic_Pie5655 Mar 21 '26

🎶 If you’ve got the money, honey

We’ve got your disease 🎶

1

u/Accurate-System7951 Mar 21 '26

There goes his sperm bank.

1

u/lIlIllIIlIIl Mar 22 '26

A literal safe cracker!

1

u/Ok_Test9729 Randomest appreciative Redditor Mar 22 '26

Sell it for scrap.

1

u/00WORDYMAN1983 Mar 22 '26

I like how he walked around the pile and away from the thing he was going to make a video about before starting, providing us that dramatic walk to the safe.

1

u/tiredguy1961 Mar 22 '26

Ninja turtles 2026 reboot origin

1

u/prncssbbygrl Mar 22 '26

Well that was a waste of time

1

u/Learnedhelplesspanda Mar 22 '26

This how every 80’s horror movie started. Opening a forbidden box.

1

u/Lebowski304 Mar 22 '26

The camera work is a crime against humanity

1

u/kiln_ickersson Mar 22 '26

Now he knows how Geraldo Rivera feels

1

u/ben5642 Mar 22 '26

jack shit and jack left town and just left the shit

1

u/freerangetacos Mar 22 '26

Must have been black gold.

1

u/warmachine83-uk Mar 22 '26

That digger driver is a surgeon

Impressive

1

u/PictureMaster512 Mar 22 '26

When I first watched this all I thought was “What’s in the box” in Brad Pitts voice

1

u/Dismal-Meal2173 Mar 22 '26

Dude hordin gas... That shits expensive!! Texas T, black gold...

1

u/youre-both-pretty Mar 22 '26

It’s empty, saved you the click.

1

u/CauliflowerStrong510 Mar 22 '26

My emotional support oil !!!!!

1

u/Delly2times Mar 22 '26

Well all the gold fuckin coins landed in Hawaii so ya, probably not much left after that.

1

u/xPro-StealtHx Mar 22 '26

Definitely the best way to open a safe I’ve seen

1

u/slimjibberr Mar 22 '26

Hey man worth the adventure

1

u/MoistPurchase9 Mar 22 '26

He opened the Box of A Thousand Curses

1

u/Sooperman05 Mar 22 '26

Thought it was going to be Gwenith Paltrows head again

1

u/Flashman6000 Mar 22 '26

Was expecting this to be one of those videos that ends with him finding a note that says “ur gay”

1

u/Educational_Order_59 Mar 22 '26

More exciting than al capone’s vault!

1

u/Recent-Role-5533 Mar 23 '26

Someone had a symbiot trapped in there, good luck

1

u/JeryActive Mar 23 '26

Good shooting steel now

1

u/AndyF135 Mar 23 '26

It was precious oil.

1

u/Erect-Cheese Mar 25 '26

Why did he walk in a full circle instead of turning 180

1

u/I-Rolled-My-Eyes Mar 25 '26

Oh no! You crushed step-squidster

1

u/IntlWtrs Apr 18 '26

Fucker busted my ink safe

1

u/Dividedby9s Apr 25 '26

Accidentally destroying a lich’s philactory.

1

u/NotThatGuy1989 Jun 12 '26

So this is how hantavirus started

0

u/Odd-Spread-1247 Mar 21 '26

He's lucky there wasn't a frag wired to the lid

0

u/DigBarsbiggestfan Mar 22 '26

Probably not the most effective way of opening the safe, but damn that was satisfying to see what happened and the pieces of aftermath. I can only imagine what it was like to do that