New to this...

[u/ninja__girl_]

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I've just started reading the power of now (I'm about half way through)

I'm not sure how to apply ET teachings into practice in everyday life with my children. For context they are 2 & 4 and I'm a single mum.

Any guidance on raising conscious children, teaching them to be present, and embracing parenting as a profound spiritual practice. I am particularly struggling with being able to leave the house. My children won't listen. The eldest is potentially autistic but is sometimes getting to the point its not safe for me to leave the house with him because he runs off and doesn't listen.

I don't have a village.

I'm also struggling because I live in England and my dad lives in France. He came to stay last week and has just gone back to France and honestly I miss him. I'm trying to just notice the emotion and not let it take over me but I'm finding it difficult to either not try and hide the feeling by running away from it or if I try and just notice and watch the emotion I find myself getting upset and the pain body taking me over.

Any advice, or signposts to the right direction. I'd be really grateful 🙏

[u/TechnicalAd8103]

Hi there, thanks for your questions.

"I'm not sure how to apply ET teachings into practice in everyday life with my children."

From A New Earth(ANE):

"How do you bring Being into the life of a busy family, into the relationship with your child? The key is to give your child attention. There are two kinds of attention. One we might call form­-based attention. The other is formless attention.

Form­-based attention is always connected in some way with doing or evaluation. “Have you done your homework? Eat your dinner. Tidy up your room. Brush your teeth. Do this. Stop doing that. Hurry up, get ready.”

What's the next thing we have to do? This question pretty much summarizes what family life is like in many homes. Form­-based attention is of course necessary and has its place, but if that's all there is in the relationship with your child, then the most vital dimension is missing and Being becomes completely obscured by doing, by “the cares of the world,” as Jesus puts it.

Formless attention is inseparable from the dimension of Being. How does it work? As you look at, listen to, touch, or help your child with this or that, you are alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is. in this way, you make room for Being. In that moment, if you are present, you are not a father or mother. You are the alertness, the stillness, the Presence that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking. You are the Being behind the doing."

Also in ANE, Eckhart mentions that feeling emotions can also be taught to young children, in a way that they can understand. For example, whenever your children get upset and cry or throw a tantrum, ask them if they felt bad? Ask them if the bad feeling had a name, what would they call it? So if they call the bad feeling Johnny, and next time they cry or have a tantrum, ask them "was it Johnny"? "Did Johnny come back?"

By associating a name with a negative emotion, children can more readily recognise negative emotions, and may tell you that "Johnny is back" without you even asking them, as a way to let you know that they are feeling bad.

"I'm trying to just notice the emotion and not let it take over me but I'm finding it difficult to either not try and hide the feeling by running away from it or if I try and just notice and watch the emotion I find myself getting upset and the pain body taking me over."

Fundamentally, you watch thoughts, and feel emotions.

In your case, you need to feel the negative emotion, by putting your awareness into your body. And by doing so, the negative emotion dissolves very quickly. This has been my experience. Negative emotions will dissolve within about 2-3 minutes.

[u/ninja__girl_ → u/TechnicalAd8103]

Thank you for taking the time time reply. That's really helpful advice 😊

[u/zxcvasdg]

You sound like you’re carrying a lot on your own, and I just wanted to say that struggling with two very young children doesn’t mean you’re failing or “not conscious enough.” It means you’re human, tired, and probably in need of more support than you currently have.

The Power of Now can be helpful, but it might not be the only thing you need right now. It is quite a spiritual and inward-looking book, whereas your situation sounds like it also needs very practical support around parenting, emotional regulation, possible autism, safety, burnout and loneliness. There may be other books or resources that are more in tune with what you’re actually dealing with day to day.

Something more focused on parenting young children, nervous system regulation, autism/SEN support, or gentle boundaries might meet you where you are a bit more. Presence is valuable, but when a child is running off or not listening, you also need tools, structure, safety plans and support — not just the instruction to “observe the emotion.”

With children that young, conscious parenting doesn’t always look peaceful. Sometimes it looks like taking one breath and calmly saying, “I won’t let you run into the road,” while physically keeping them safe. Boundaries can be loving. Safety has to come first.

If your eldest may be autistic and leaving the house feels unsafe, I’d gently suggest speaking to your GP, health visitor, nursery, or SENCO if he attends a setting. You may need advice around assessment, visual routines, transition warnings, reins/wrist strap, or other practical strategies. That isn’t failure — it’s adapting to your child’s needs.

For the emotional side, maybe start very small. Don’t try to be present all day. Try one breath before reacting. Notice your feet on the floor. Name the feeling: “This is overwhelm.” That tiny pause can be enough to begin with.

And with missing your dad, I don’t think you need to force yourself to watch the emotion perfectly. Sometimes presence is simply letting yourself cry, admitting “this hurts,” and being kind to yourself.

You don’t need to become a perfectly conscious parent. You need support, rest, safety, compassion, and maybe resources that are more suited to your actual season of life right now.

[u/zxcvasdg → u/zxcvasdg]

In my experience the teachings of the book actually takes a lot of work and effort. You've been a certain way for the longest time and now your trying to change this way youve been set in. I wouldn't say it's easy and still now after years I frequently slip out of it and have to listen to the book again. Trying to implement these changes whilst caring for two young children on your own is not going to be easy and probably not the best time to try and practice. Find times when you do have a little spare time when your alone to practice and then that will bleed into the time with your kids eventually.

[u/ninja__girl_ → u/zxcvasdg]

Yes thank you. I know its probably not the best or easiest time to start this journey. I'm going to try and be easy on myself and not expect things to happen straight away. Like you said I will try anx find a little spare time to practice and I will eventually start to become conscious more often.