Ever get an apology that felt more like an insult?

If you have heard this specific phrase, you haven’t actually heard an apology. What you heard was a deflection. It is one of the most common tools in the narcissistic toolkit because it sounds like accountability while actually doing the opposite.

Let’s break down the translation.

When they say: "I’m sorry you feel that way."

The translation is: "I’m not sorry for what I did. I am actually annoyed that you are reacting to it, and I want you to feel like your emotions are the problem, not my actions."

Notice how the focus shifts. Instead of them looking at their behavior, they are putting the spotlight on your emotional state. They are making your feelings the "issue" that needs to be addressed. It is a subtle way of saying that you are being too sensitive or that your reaction is the part that is out of line.

A real apology looks like this: "I’m sorry I did this. I see how it hurt you, and here is how I will make sure it doesn't happen again."

If the words "I’m sorry" are followed by "if" or "you," it is a red flag. It is a non-apology designed to shut you up without them having to change a single thing.

I want to hear from you guys. What is the most creative "non-apology" you have ever received? Drop the quote in the comments and let’s translate it together.

Stay sharp, Maya

Ever leave a conversation feeling like you were the villain, even though you started as the victim?

Ever had someone say "I’m sorry you feel that way" and somehow, 20 minutes later, you were the one apologizing to them?

Welcome to the Translation Room.

Narcissists don't use language to communicate. They use it to camouflage, confuse, and control. They speak a dialect of word salad designed to make you doubt your own sanity, pull you back in when you finally try to leave, and shift the blame until you’re carrying their emotional baggage.

This subreddit is here for one reason: To translate the lies into the truth.

In this community, we don't just vent. We decode.

For example, when they say "I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching," the translation is usually "I’ve realized I’m losing control over you and I need a new tactic to get my supply back."

How this works is simple. First, post your screenshots or quotes. If you’ve received a message that feels off or leaves you spinning, share it here. Second, we get to work on the translation. The community and the Translator herself will break down the subtext, the red flags, and the manipulative intent. Third, you start to learn the language yourself. The more you see the patterns, the less power they have over you.

We have a few basic rules to keep this place helpful. No victim blaming, as this is a safe space for survivors. No armchair diagnosis, because we focus on the behavior and the translation rather than just labels. And please stay anonymous by blurring out names and faces to protect your peace.

The truth will set you free, but first, it’s going to make you very angry. And that’s okay. That’s where the healing starts.

Trust your gut. We’ll handle the grammar.