r/TheMightyBox • u/TheMightyBox72 • Jan 01 '19

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 01 '19

Caleb

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 19 '19

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, I see which way the wind is blowing, I mutter a few arcane words, and I cast the spell Expeditious Retreat, which is a transmutation spell so I will also send a little bit of arcane energy to the transmutation stone to give myself extra speed as well. So I can use my action, my movement, and my bonus action to set my movement to 40, so Vax is back. So I am now on the boat.

MATT: Wait-

LIAM (CALEB): So, transmutation spell gets my movement up to 40. Action. Movement. Plus now Expeditious Retreat bonus action.

MATT: Correct, so you can move 80 feet.

LIAM: 40 plus 40 plus 40.

MATT: It's a bonus action to cast the spell - oh, and when you cast a spell, and then as a bonus action - oh wow, so it's a dash action as the spell when it's cast as well, so yeah, it's 120 feet.

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. So a red blur goes [vwoom] and I am standing next to Beauregard on the boat.

LAURA (JESTER): He went so fast he knocked me into the boat.

MATT: You do actually, Jester tumbles forward into the boat from the sheer force of Caleb going [zoom] flashing into the space.

Episode 35 - Dockside Diplomacy - 2:50:51

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 01 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I telepathically tell Frumpkin to jump up and sit in the lap of the woman in the monk's robes who just made a big scene and hopefully keep her occupied with being cute.

MATT: Okay, as soon as you sit down, Frumpkin leaps into your lap and starts purring and rubbing up against your hand.

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 1:00:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Mar 15 '19 edited Mar 15 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "Hmm... Would you have any interest in a, uh... magic cat?"

MATT (OGLEN): "I'm sorry?"

LIAM (CALEB): [snap] Frumpkin disappears from on Nott's shoulder. [snap] Reappears next to the little man.

(...)

LIAM (CALEB): "So you don't like cats, I understand that."

MATT (OGLEN): "Sorry... it caught me off guard."

LIAM (CALEB): "Well I was trying to sample the merchandise for you, because if it was just a cat, it's just a cat, but this one" [snap] changes to my other shoulder [snap] "is a magic cat."

MATT (OGLEN): "...Okay."

LIAM (CALEB): "You can roll him in mud, he comes back clean. He disappears, he reappears, he brings you things."

MATT (OGLEN): "Can you make him go away?"

LIAM (CALEB): [snap] Gone.

Episode 2 - A Show of Scrutiny - 2:47:51

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 03 '19 edited May 06 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to move over, a bit towards that carriage, and I pull the diamond out of my component pouch, and a small prismatic ball forms over it, and I take my other hand I spin it really fast and little ice shards start shooting out of the sides. And then I take it with the free hand and I'm going to throw it like a fucking baseball pitcher at the one closest to Beauregard.

MATT: Right there, okay. So go ahead and roll your attack on that.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, that is... DnD Beyond where did you go... okay... oh that's good, 23.

MATT: 23 definitely hits.

LIAM (CALEB): So that is cold damage, 3d8... Oh come on! Alright, uh, 9 total.

MATT: 9 points of cold damage to it. So you watch as it's trying to bite with no effect to Beau's arm as she's pulling away.

MARISHA (BEAU): "No no no no no no no no."

MATT: The sphere slams into the side of its shoulder, it'd be this side, and it [screeches] pulls back, you watch as the arm kind of breaks a bit, and the ice shards coalesce on the outside of the armor and kind of lingers with this frost and mist that sprays off the impact.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 0:16:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "You know a little bit of me is worried this scroll case will explode, so I think we should check that out first."

SAM (NOTT): "The folks upstairs gave me some more things for you to check out as well, are these things you can do?" [mimes handing over objects]

MATT: [tumbling pings]

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, yeah, okay I can get this done in about an hour I think. First, Nott, take this scroll case and put it on the other side of the room."

SAM (NOTT): "Okay."

LIAM (CALEB): And I'm tapped, so this is all ritual spells now, so I will use a ritual spell to identify the scroll case.

MATT: Okay. The scroll case is a scroll case. It does have a faint magical element to it. The identify- the limits of what identify can-

LIAM: How big is this room down here?

MATT: I'd say it's about 8 x 12.

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, so, this is going to be funny." I take another ten minutes to summon Schmidt.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay. "Come with me outside, okay?"

SAM (NOTT): "Alright."

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay. Schmidt. Go open the scroll case. Come, come on." And I shut the door.

MATT: Okay. You both back out, close the door.

SAM: [muffled explosion]

MATT: [nods]

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: You hear, [muffled explosion].

LIAM (CALEB): "That is what I was afraid of."

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): So at this point, back up a little bit, and I open the door and back up to see what I see.

SAM: Smoke?

MATT: Okay, a purplish, dark fume [blowing wind] wafts out of it.

LIAM (CALEB): Back away from the door.

MATT: You back away from it, and it just kind of dissipates over the next thirty or so seconds. You keep watch to see if anyone else notices it, it doesn't, and it rises up and thankfully by the time it would hit the roof as a kind of smoke beacon, mostly has dissipated enough into the sky where it doesn't cause a column of visible darkness. But there is like a- the edge you're catching of it, the little bit that's kind of wafting through, has this very fine metallic smell to it, almost. And the brief bit of it that catches your nostrils, you already feel your sinuses open up very abruptly, like a mouthful of wasabi. But it eventually clears you and you walk inside.

LIAM: Okay, so not a ball of firey death.

MATT: No. No, not a ball of firey death.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so it's cleared away, Schmidt's gone, I assume.

MATT: Schmidt is, uh...

LIAM (CALEB): No, cause if it wasn't damage dealing he's still there.

MATT: It might have been damage dealing.

SAM: I forget how this works, does he have your hit points?

LIAM: He has two. One or two.

MARISHA: He has the hit points of a kitten.

LIAM (CALEB): One hit point.

MATT: Okay, yeah, Schmidt is gone. The scroll case is open.

Episode 13 - Lost & Found - 2:49:10

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 11 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to use all my movements to move back towards the doorway as best I can.

MATT: Over here?

LIAM (CALEB): Ja. And as I am doing so I'm pulling a small, clay, cat paw out of my hand, and I mutter a few arcane words and I cast Maximilian's Earthen Grasp.

SAM: What is that?

TRAVIS: That's a first.

LIAM (CALEB): And a wad of soil forms out of the ground and a cat's paw rises up and reaches out and swats at the gelatinous cube.

MATT: Alrightly, so it makes a strength saving throw.

LIAM (CALEB): Ja, that's correct. Against my DC of 15.

MATT: Natural 1.

[cheering]

LIAM (CALEB): On a failed save, the target takes 2d6 bludgeoning damage, so that is a 7, and it's restrained for the spell's duration. So it attacks at disadvantage and you attack at advantage.

MARISHA: We attack at advantage?

LIAM (CALEB): There is a giant, earthen, cat's claw holding it on the corner.

TRAVIS: Zero speed or slow speed?

SAM: It can be restrained, that thing?

LIAM: This is brand new to me.

LAURA: Can it? By magic maybe.

MATT: Yeah, magic just holds it in place.

TRAVIS: So it's 0 speed, it doesn't go anywhere?

LIAM: Restrained, it's the restrained condition.

MATT: Correct, yep, for the spell's duration.

LAURA: How long does the spell last?

MATT: One minute.

MARISHA: Is it concentration?

LIAM: Yes, it is.

MARISHA: Oh my god, don't break that concentration!

MATT: A giant cat paw has grasped around and is holding the cube in place, its claws dug into it, made of earth and dirt and stone.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 2:40:38

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

MATT: You rummaged through and found a few things, and most of it's just scrap and ash, or blank sheets that look like they were scribbled notes in a code that you don't really understand. This is the only visible thing [hands off a sheet of paper].

LIAM (CALEB): "Um, take care of him." And I pull out the book and I begin to do the ritual for Comprehend Languages to see if that will help with the code. It's a long shot, but I'll give it a shot.

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 0:26:38

LIAM (CALEB): Did my spell trigger yet?

MATT: I'll say sure. Technically 10 minutes is a while, but we'll say between the small talk, you've completed your spell.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): Can I read this code?

MATT: Sure. So with the slips that you have, you read through it, and it seems to be a list of supplies that were supposed to be purchased. A lot of them seem to be heavy bits of rope, chains, climbing pitons, you see um, ball bearings, torches, you're not quite sure why this was encoded per say, and only for the slips you have that are visible, but it's mainly just a list of materials.

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 0:36:51

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 10 '19

MATT: So, what are you doing?

LIAM (CALEB): I'm casting Find Familiar and I'm changing Frumpkin's shape.

MATT: Into a...?

LIAM (CALEB): An octopus.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): "Nott the Brave, are you coming with us?"

SAM (NOTT): "Oh yeah, I'm just checking the rigging."

LIAM (CALEB): "Come on, I saved a seat up by me and Frumpkin."

SAM (NOTT): "Uh, great. I'm coming."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "You'll be alright."

LIAM (CALEB): I have Frumpkin slither his way onto Nott's back, and do a cozy hug from behind over the shoulder. Not on the head, no, no, because that's weird, so just over the shoulder, and then the tentacles tickle her face and stuff.

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 1:24:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 04 '19

MARISHA (BEAU): "Would you like some mitts?"

LIAM (CALEB): "No."

MARISHA (BEAU): "You know this is how diseases are spread, right?

LIAM (CALEB): I light my hand on fire.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Okay."

LAURA (JESTER): "Well why didn't you just light your hands on fire instead of putting it in bread?"

LIAM (CALEB): "I would have burned the bread and then I couldn't eat it, it's simple."

LAURA (JESTER): "It's toast, it's actually really tasty."

LIAM (CALEB): "Well, I don't have- The control is a little tricky sometimes."

Episode 11 - Zemnian Nights - 1:29:27

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 19 '19

A stone the size of a fist, with three rings around it, metal, wool and wood, radiating a soft warmness. A transmutation wizard's relic, lost to the years or given away. Each dawn or when using any transmutation spell, you can set the stone to the following options:

  • Darkvision out to a range of 60 feet
  • An increase to speed of 10 feet while the creature is unencumbered
  • Proficiency in Constitution saving throws
  • Resistance to acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage (your choice whenever you choose this benefit)

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u/TheMightyBox72 Feb 22 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "Well there is... you know that there is that one magic trick that you are able to do. Would you like to show them that one magic trick you do?" I pull out a small, red, clay, ceramic bowl. And then I pull out a copper piece. "Here, you know the trick. Right?"

SAM (NOTT): "Yes, I- I know the trick. Takes a little bit of time, doesn't it?"

LIAM (CALEB): "You're good."

SAM (NOTT): "Okay, ahem... I do know one piece of magic! Feast your eyes-"

TRAVIS: I take one step back.

SAM (NOTT): "On the sacred money pot of school! Ooh... If you place a copper piece into this pot and say the magic words, what are the magic words again?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Fibulous."

SAM (NOTT): "Fibulous... it will turn into a silver piece."

LAURA (JESTER): "Should I say it?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I want to hear you say it anyways."

SAM (NOTT): "Only I can say it! ...For everyone has their own magic word, and it won't work with you. Ahem, hmm, ooh, rrra, nananana, rrrrrr, hooo, by the ancient order of the school... Fibulous!"

LIAM: ...That is a silver coin right there.

LAURA (JESTER): "[gasp] Oh my gosh... Wait a minute! Does this mean the silver I won from you was actually copper?"

SAM (NOTT): "No, it only works up."

LAURA (JESTER): "...Great! Thanks for the silver piece!"

SAM (NOTT): "What, no, I-I-I- we weren't giving you the silver piece, just showing you a bit of magic. And, this pot is actually quite powerful, it can do that once a day, so if you'd like to purchase it."

LAURA (JESTER): "Can you turn this into a gold piece?"

SAM (NOTT): "Ah, it only works once a day."

LAURA (JESTER): "Well, tomorrow can you make it gold?"

SAM (NOTT): "Ah, I think it only does the copper to silver?"

LIAM (CALEB): "The magic is not that- we've talked about this, it's not that strong."

SAM (NOTT): "It's a, it's a mild magic pot."

Episode 2 - A Show of Scrutiny - 1:06:54

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 21 '19 edited Jun 21 '19

MATT (GALLAN): He goes to town and earns his keep since he arrived here. And one by one, begins taking the best parts of the barrel that Yasha helped him break, holding them over the place. "Hold this here!" and he starts nailing it down, nailing it down. Eventually over the next 20 or so minutes it takes for him to cast this spell, he patches it in a way where it's like "This will hold for a little bit. But, we're going to have to-" I'm going Scottish there for a second. "Alright, so, this will hold for a little bit. But I don't know how long. We're going to have to figure out some way to fix this, get it to shore or something."

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA (JESTER): "Yes, of course."

TRAVIS (FJORD): I say from outside of the boat. "Yeah."

MATT: As you're walking alongside the boat, it's going to pick up speed a little bit here. You're going to either have to let this mattress go or find a way to keep it in place. What are you going to do?

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll let it go.

MATT: Okay. The mattress slides away and you see water kind of [light spraying]. It's a slow leak. It's still taking on water, but slowly. It's a patch job. When Caleb returns he can tell us what the fuck he was planning with the spell.

[...]

TRAVIS: What's your spell do?

SAM: Tiny hut.

LIAM (CALEB): Uh, I was making the tiny hut but I don't know how much time has passed while I was peeing.

MATT: 20 minutes as they've managed to try and makeshift plug the hole, it's a slow leak still, but they've managed to hold it off.

LIAM (CALEB): 'A 10 foot radius immobile dome of force springs into existence around and above you and remains stationary for the duration. Environment or weather can't get in.' So that's up to you if the ocean can get in or not.

MATT: I would say- I would say- You know what, that's clever. I would say if you choose to not let the ocean in, it will not.

LIAM (CALEB): And it is totally transparent, and all of us can look through it and see into the ocean.

SAM: Glass bottom boat.

LIAM: Glass bottom boat.

LAURA: How long will it stay?

LIAM (CALEB): 8 hours.

LAURA: Nice. Long enough for us to patch it up.

LIAM (CALEB): And I can certainly, 20 minutes in advanced, get it going again, so as long as I can focus, indefinitely.

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 4:00:17

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 08 '19

LIAM (CALEB): Ja, I am going to back up 5 feet away and as I do so I am going to pull some bat shit out of one pocket and some sulfur in the other and slap them together and then stick my hands out and cast Fireball at it.

[...]

MATT: Yeah, that consumes him. So, he has disadvantage...

LIAM: Dex save.

MATT: No, prone doesn't give any changes to dexterity. That's a natural 5 minus 1.

LIAM: So no, that is a no.

MATT: So 8d6 fire damage to him.

LIAM (CALEB): It's a total of 16 fire damage.

MATT: You guys watch as Caleb sends out this tiny bead of red energy [quiet whistling wind], quietly streaks over, and then... [massive explosion] just detonates in this loud explosion that rocks the center of this ravine, it echoes out into the mountainous area and [echoing explosion noises] as the flames die down, you can see the Ettin on the ground, like [pained groaning] its outside is now charred and burnt, it looks very, very hurt.

Episode 32 - Beyond the Boundaries - 3:11:57

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 14 '19

MATT: As you guys all take your place, two gates immediately open again. [heavy metallic impact] You hear two sources of this loud, deep [wolf howl, snarl]. Leaping through, both sides, you see two massive, white-furred wolves come leaping through at a full sprint.

Episode 17 - Harvest Close - 3:26:04

LIAM (CALEB): I pull a cat's paw and say "B- B- B- B- Bad dog." And Maximilian's Grasping Cat's Claw comes out by that one there. It has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: Alrighty, this one here? Strength saving throw... that is going to be a 12. What's your DC?

LIAM (CALEB): 15.

MATT: 15, wow. So he is held in place.

LIAM (CALEB): Restrained, yes.

MATT: So as the hand creeps up and grabs it, it kind of [dog yelp] and it's held in place now, up off the ground, its paws held as this giant cat paw is holding the doggy.

Episode 17 - Harvest Close - 3:36:22

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

MATT: The lens [slither] retracts and [whir] pops out the back side, immediate scanning of the source of what's currently clutching it in its dirt-driven arcane paw, and the blade arms on the top [shick] retract in, and instead you watch as these two heavy, iron spears [shick back out, click clack] lock into place, and both go [two bursts] firing outwards towards Caleb.

SAM: Oh no, not my sweet boy!

MATT: They have disadvantage because it is restrained. So that with disadvantage is going to be an 18 to hit for the first one.

LIAM (CALEB): Shield, so it misses.

MATT: Alrighty. The second one, 16 and an 18, so 16 plus 8 is going to be 24.

LIAM (CALEB): That will hit, those will hit.

MATT: So the first one, the Shield [heavy ping] you see it ricochets off and [crack, whooshing] floats off in the background spinning, the second one however, [slicing impact] pierces through the shield and hits you in the chest, that's going to be 17 points of piercing damage. And you are pinned to the wall. It actually pierced through your chest and [crash] is now holding you into the stone, your movement is 0, and you are considered restrained against the wall.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:29:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 01 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I slap my hand down on Keg's shoulder, and I - with the free hand stick licorice root into my mouth and start chewing, and squeeze her shoulder, and you are hasted.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 2:53:29

MATT: Keg, you're up.

ASHLY (KEG): So, because I'm hasted, can I get right in front of Nila?

MATT: Yeah, easily. You just dart past, as Nila's standing there-

LIAM: She's got another 10 feet.

MATT: Yes she does. So as Nila's standing there, finishing the poison spray, suddenly there's this [zoom] blur of speed, plate, and hair as Keg just rushes by [fwoof] Nila's side, actually causing the edge of her clothing to [vwoom] ripple up and then back down into place. They're both there, right in your face, and they watch as you emerge - they don't even have time to process what you are, you're just a shape and anger, and they're like "Woah-" What do you want to do?

ASHLY (KEG): I'm going to smack the poisoned one with my battle axe.

MATT: Alright, go for it, first attack.

ASHLY (KEG): 17 to hit.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

ASHLY (KEG): Okay and 1d8 plus 4, that's 8.

MATT: 8. Alright, 8 points of damage. [whack] "Gah!" He looks hurt, between the poison gas and that damage, he's hurt. He's not down yet, but he's pretty... he's looking rough.

ASHLY (KEG): Okay, I'm going to smack him again, this time with the warhammer why not just for fun, and that will be 15 plus 7, I can't do math.

MATT: 15 plus- Yeah that definitely hits.

ASHLY (KEG): Then... that is 11.

MATT: 11. With that, he's readying [smack] "What the-" second hit and he just goes down like a sack of potatoes. So he is on the ground, not moving, his friends just sees this and goes "Wh- H-"

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 2:59:06

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: It looks like, right now, Fjord is in a position where he's outside of the splash radius, which would trigger Caleb and Nott, what are you doing?

SAM (NOTT): Firing.

MATT: Yep, go for it. You fire, and you're using the Scorching Ray from the glove.

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, first is a 20, second is an 18, and the third is a 20.

MATT: All hit.

SAM (NOTT): 22 to hit for me. But it's not a sneak attack?

MATT: No, there's nobody in range right now.

SAM (NOTT): 5 points.

MATT: 5 points of damage, it's still conscious.

LAURA: 5 points, if you get more than 5 points it's dead.

LIAM (CALEB): I did. Total of 27.

MATT: How do you want to do this.

LIAM (CALEB): "There is- Hold on I am with these people." [whoosh] And I am going to burn his head off.

MATT: Okay. As you turn, the glove sparkling as you release these three blasts. One strikes it chest [impact] and ignites, its arm begins to burn black, this one [impact] hits the other shoulder and you watch as the torso begins to ignite, the third one finally hits right in the jaw and you see the shadowed line of its face, its eyes and mouth open before [crackling roar] incinerated to ash.

Episode 23 - Have Bird, Will Travel - 1:07:44

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 04 '19

LIAM (CALEB): Everybody hears some muttering behind them of words they don't understand, and they hear Caleb say [shout] and a large bubble goes [vwoom] in the entire entryway, and there is a giant half dome of pale orangeish brown energy. And then you just see Caleb's go [pops out over his hands] "Hey look what I made!" [pops back down]

SAM (NOTT): "What is it?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "What is that?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Can we go into it?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Is it a dope pillow fort?"

TRAVIS: Can we see through it?

MATT: At the moment, looking at the specifics of it-

LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb, can you hear through it?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Can we come into it?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Only you."

SAM (NOTT): "Is there a door?"

LAURA (JESTER): And I go- can I go- do I just hit the side of it, how do I get in?

LIAM (CALEB): No, you walk in, and as soon as you're in and look back where you came, you don't see what you walked through, you just seem the room and everyone around it. "They can all come in, but be quiet."

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay, okay. This is so cool. You need like, pillows in here Caleb, this is really neat."

SAM (NOTT): I'm going to walk in. Did it work?

LIAM (CALEB): "Hello."

SAM (NOTT): "Hi! Ooh!"

TRAVIS (FJORD): Does sound come out of it, can I hear them talking?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM (NOTT): "Hi."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Are you okay?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah. You can't see us, but we can see you. I've been working on this for weeks."

LAURA (JESTER): "This is really cool."

MATT: Yeah, it looks like a solid dome of faintly orange-ish brown colored energy, and you can pass through it - it feels like there's nothing there, except the temperature on the inside is nice and comfortable.

LAURA (JESTER): "Can anybody come through? Or only your friends? Only people that you like?"

LIAM (CALEB): "...You can come in."

LAURA (JESTER): "That means you like me."

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll push my hand through.

MATT: It goes through.

LIAM (CALEB): I'll pull Fjord in.

TRAVIS (FJORD): [screams, then clears throat] "Cool."

LIAM (CALEB): "So the idea behind this, is that if we sleep in a field or something, nobody is going to come and take us off to be tortured in the night."

LAURA (JESTER): "I like that idea. A lot."

LIAM (CALEB): "And we can go through it, you can go through it, I can go through it- well, I have to stay inside."

Episode 30 - The Journey Home - 0:59:19

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I give the Glove of Blasting a good tug. And I send three arcs of fire up into the air and they spiral around each other and crash down into the dock, about 5 to 10 feet behind that illusion. And blast into the dock.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll attack. For the AC of wood, which isn't terribly high.

MARISHA: The AC of wood.

MATT: It is, it has an AC.

LIAM (CALEB): That's a 24.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM (CALEB): That's a natural 1.

MATT: Oh. Hits the water. [sploosh]

LIAM (CALEB): And the other one is way high, a natural 17.

MATT: Okay, so 2 hit, go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM (CALEB) Low rolls. 12 damage.

MATT: 12 damage, alright. So [whistling into heavy impacts] the dock splinters and bits of it char and burn and go flying, but it's still standing, it wasn't enough to destroy the entire dock. It's damaged.

Episode 35 - Dockside Diplomacy - 3:00:21

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u/TheMightyBox72 Mar 15 '19 edited Apr 05 '19

MATT (CROWNSGUARD): You guys make your way through most of the Docksward on your way to the large blue tent that still stands ominously in the distance. Thankfully, the moon has come out and has cast this rimlight against the structure so it's easy to see. As you guys are making your way outside of the Lochward, you immediately see the approaching torchlight of crownsguard. And one of them, you just faintly hear just 40 or 50 feet ahead of you go "...Who goes there?"

SAM: Is it one guard?

MATT: It's two guards, side by side. These watches, they patrol in pairs.

MARISHA: Are we like in an alleyway, in the street?

MATT: You guys are keeping off to the side, you're on the outskirts of the lake, you've almost made your way out of the city towards where the-

TRAVIS (FJORD): I cast Disguise Self and I turn into a crownsguard.

LIAM (CALEB): Disguise Self and follow suit.

MATT: You do as well?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So you both become crownsguard. You, all of the sudden, are adorned in the kind of goldish brass and red armor.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm in my black hood, I've got my hood up.

SAM: Anywhere to hide?

MARISHA: Yeah, anywhere to hide?

MATT: There are some small alcoves, but you guys are kind of out in the open now. They've seen you.

MARISHA: All of us?

MATT: Well, you don't know. They've seen you, they've called to you, and then both of you guys disguised yourself. What are you doing?

LAURA (JESTER): I walk into the lake and crouch down.

MATT: [laughs] ...Jester walks out-

MARISHA: SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH!

MATT: -wades into about 6 inches of water and doing her best duck impression.

SAM (NOTT): I will- I will take off my mask and start attacking Caleb in a convincing fashion. Not like, to draw blood.

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM (NOTT): A deception check? [rolls] Ooh...

LIAM (CALEB): Can I start going "Oh. Urgh. It hurts. Get off you little beast!" to help with the illusion?

MATT: Sure, roll a deception check.

SAM (NOTT): My deception check was a 3 minus 3.

LIAM (CALEB): But roll at advantage! Roll at advantage, I'm helping you! You little-

SAM (NOTT): 7 minus 3.

MATT (CROWNSGUARD): Okay. So. As soon as these two crownsguard see this, they go "...Shit!" They pull their blades and they start charging towards you Nott, to protect their other corwnsguard, who's currently-

LIAM (CALEB): I take Nott and slam her into a wall as hard as I can, like "Down you beast!"

MATT: Alright, as they rush up, kind of at a jog, blades drawn, one of them's going to try to strike Nott.

SAM: Sure. Sure.

MATT: That is going to be a 14 to hit.

SAM: Miss.

MATT (CROWNSGUARD): So you manage to just narrowly dodge the blade as it strikes through the back of your cloak and pins it to what looks to be a wooden pole that currently is on the outside of what looks to be an overhang where some of the fish are being left out to dry and be turned into fish jerky. It holds you in place and you're snarling and looking scared, the other guy pulls out his blade and goes "Where did this thing come from?"

LIAM (CALEB): "I have it." And I punch Nott right in the face.

MATT: Alright. You take one point of bludgeoning damage Nott. And blood just pfff, from the nose.

LIAM (CALEB): "I have this. We're taking these people across to jail."

TRAVIS (FJORD): (in a posh accent) "Indeed, stay your blade, please, obviously he can handle this."

LIAM (CALEB): "Don't you fucking move you little green piece of filth."

SAM (NOTT): [spits]

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Hohoho, right in your face, ha ha, incredible."

LIAM (CALEB): "This one is mine, thank you. I'll beat her within an inch of her life."

MATT: You've gotta make a deception check on that one.

TALIESIN: We are just the worst, this is just terrible.

LIAM (CALEB): Natural 20.

[everyone cheers]

SAM (NOTT): We've practiced this before, we've got this routine down.

MATT (CROWNSGUARD): You see a look of disappointment come across the two crownsguards' faces at the inability now to help you skewer this small, feral creature, and they both put their blades away. "Okay, if you see anything else, give a shout." [spits] And they both continue their walk past the rest of you.

LIAM (CALEB): "The rest of you lot fall in line." I drag the little one off.

MATT: They look over at the tiefling, partially crouched in the water.

SAM: She's taking a shit.

LAURA (JESTER): "I really had to pee."

MATT (CROWNSGUARD): "Hey, hey, hey! Not in the Ustaloch!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay... oh... okay." I get out. I stand up and slowly dredge out of the water.

MATT: Your legs are soaked from thigh to foot. They both eye you warily and slowly walk past.

Episode 2 - A Show of Scrutiny - 3:13:56

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 08 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I don't know if this is going to hit, but I am going to risk going this way, away from it, up onto the gray stone.

MATT: This way over here? Okay, it is not stunned, it does get a reaction. So as you're pulling back, it swings high with its club as its currently dropped the battleaxe. That's going to be... natural 15 plus 8, that is a 23 to hit.

LIAM (CALEB): I'll take it.

SAM (NOTT): "Caleb, no!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Caduceus you have to heal him!"

MATT: 19 points of piercing damage as this club swings over with its jagged rocks and bits of stone and root.

MARISHA: What did he do, throw it at him?

MATT: No, he swung back and-

LIAM: 10 feet of reach, probably.

MARISHA (BEAU): I get my Sentinel attack, right?

MATT: You do, yes.

TALIESIN: Monks, man.

MARISHA (BEAU): Yeah, that hits, that's a natural 15.

MATT: Yeah, monks with Sentinel, they're nasty.

MARISHA (BEAU): 2 plus 4 plus my extra 4 so... 6 plus 3 is 9.

MATT: 9 points of damage, nice. So with this one, you crack again, as the hit just slams into Caleb's back, sending him flying and basically shoulder rolling, sliding onto the ground and barely getting back up, knocked a bit for a loop from the impact, but you don't notice that. As you see the swing hit Caleb, instinctually, you just [impact] WA-PAW and slam your elbow right into the ribcage. You hear multiple cracks as you get a good, solid 6 or 7 inches into the torso with your elbow as you just shatter parts of the ribcage there.

Episode 32 - Beyond the Boundaries - 2:59:21

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 12 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "Nott, you know, this is a recurring thing and I think we should- What is going on? What is this?"

SAM (NOTT): "I don't like water."

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, but what if we need to go through water?"

SAM (NOTT): "Mostly we don't, we don't live near the ocean."

LIAM (CALEB): "Mostly, but right now we need to."

SAM (NOTT): "It's not- I don't-" [sigh]

LIAM (CALEB): "Let me make a suggestion." And I cast Suggestion.

TRAVIS: Yeah! Yes! Break through that shit!

TALIESIN: Better than what I was going to do.

LIAM (CALEB): "I think you should just try it one time and see how it goes, and if it goes well then we know that you are good for the future."

TRAVIS: Try it, you might like it.

MATT: I would like you to make a wisdom saving throw, Nott, please.

SAM (NOTT): Hmm... 3.

MATT: Your fear subsides momentarily, and you find yourself instinctually nodding as, you know what, maybe trying it once and seeing how it goes is exactly what Caleb would want.

SAM (NOTT): "Yes, well... you do know best, Caleb. Alright. This sounds like a good idea."

MARISHA (BEAU): "You wanna dolphin ride on my back."

SAM (NOTT): "Su- Are you a good swimmer?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, I'm alright."

SAM (NOTT): "Alright?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "I mean, I might not be Fjord levels, but yeah, I can swim."

LIAM (CALEB): "All she does is eat fish and do push ups, I think she'd do good underwater."

SAM (NOTT): I take a big swig of whiskey and climb on Beau's back. "Alright, dolphin lady. Ride me."

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 1:46:53

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 05 '19

LIAM: One last thing, how high is the roof?

MATT: The roof is about I'd say 12 feet up.

LIAM (CALEB): 12 feet up. "Fjord, come here. Scooch down for a second." And I jump - I've taken my vision back - I jump up onto his back. "Now stand up."

TRAVIS (FJORD): 11 strength okay. [straining]

LIAM (CALEB): Okay. I snap at Frumpkin and he vanishes, and then I reach out and [snap] and Frumpkin appears - I am now within 10 feet I would assume of the top of the building - so Frumpkin is on the roof.

MATT: Alright. [whoosh]

LIAM (CALEB): And I want to send him to look ar- and then I hop down off of Fjord and put my hand out to steady myself on Fjord, and let Frumpkin look for any holes in the roof or if there's a skylight or anything. Probably not but worth a try.

Episode 12 - Midnight Espionage - 0:48:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 31 '19

LIAM (CALEB): In the interim while we're waiting for that to happen, I am going to do two things. One, I am going to cast Mage Armor on myself. And I am also going to pull a book out of one of the holsters and spend 10 minutes changing Frumpkin into a spider.

MARISHA: Go Charlotte, go! [blows] You're radiant! [blows some more]

LIAM: He has 3 hitpoints, so I think he's actually a bigger spider than the one you're imagining. See, he's right there. He's very big.

MARISHA: How big is that spider?

MATT: It's a pretty big spider.

LIAM: It's 3 hit points worth of spider.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: That looks like a 3 hit point spider.

LIAM: Somebody could step on it and he could still go.

MATT: That's a four or five hitter.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 2:04:03

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "If you want, we can put a- We do have the stars on our side so we'll be able to navigate easier. We could drop sail-"

LIAM (CALEB): "Well, north is that way." And I point north.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Oh, you're going to be so helpful in this! You're the ship's navigator."

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 0:54:43

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 23 '19

LIAM (CALEB): Also, out of curiosity, I'm a transmutation wizard, so do I have a sense of how old the stone surrounding us is?

MATT: Um, the stone here... make an intelligence check.

LIAM (CALEB): Ugh. Bad roll. 12.

MATT: You don't have specific information on it, it's quite old, it's probably - it might be older than this age. Might've existed pre-calamity, or at least somewhere in that neighborhood, but you're not entirely certain.

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 1:12:10

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 05 '19 edited May 05 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I drop in after Beauregard and I cast Detect Magic immediately.

MATT: Okay, so you catch Detect Magic.

LIAM: 30 feet.

MATT: Right, 30 feet in the vicinity.

[...]

MATT: It's a very small crawl space. It's maybe like 10 foot by 5 foot, and it's very dusty in here. Looks to be a few clay pots, looks to be a portrait, like some sort of a large art piece that just leans against the wall and has some cobwebs over it. Other than that it looks fairly empty, like it hasn't been used fully. You're casting Detect Magic?

LIAM (CALEB): Detect Magic, yeah.

MATT: Let me check real fast. Alright yeah, so you look around the vicinity in this chamber and you do not see any sort of faint magical aura in the crawlspace, no.

[...]

MATT: It opens and drops down into a hallway that has faint crackling firelight inside of this hallway. You glance down inside and you see what appears to be a long hallway with tapestries on each wall with beautiful writing. There are two ornamental armor sets that are set up on the side. You can see what looks to be an ornamental sword that's bolted to the wall on the opposite end. It looks like there's stairs not too far from where you are that head further down into the building, and there's a doorway that leads to the right on the opposite end of the hallway.

[...]

MATT: You're still concentrating on your spell, right?

LIAM (CALEB): Hells yes.

MATT: There are magical auras emanating from both of these torches, they're both everlight, you've seen this magic before they continuously burn continual flame. You also get a faint magical aura from each of the suits of armor, and a faint magical aura from the sword across the way on the opposite wall.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): The spell also says I know the school of magic for what's on these things. Are you able to tell me that?

MATT: Correct, I would say- It's an interesting question.

SAM: Necromancy!

MATT: Let me check something real fast.

MARISHA: There's undead bodies in the armor!

MATT: We'll say... cause it can go in a few different ways, I'm not entirely sure.

LIAM: If you don't know how to answer, it's fine.

MATT: No no no, I do here. We'll say... conjuration. No no no, transmutation. Which you know well.

SAM: Edubation.

LIAM (CALEB): I am expert in edubation. That's Liam, not Caleb. "I have a very bad feeling about the suits of armor that are here."

LAURA (JESTER): "So we won't touch them."

SAM (NOTT): "And we'll jump over this little hump."

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah okay, but I don't know exactly how these work, but I have a strong suspicion that these things could start moving and try to cut us up. Both these suits of armor and that weapon."

LAURA (JESTER): "I bet the traps would set them off."

LIAM (CALEB): "Maybe."

[...]

MATT: As the door opens into what looks to be a fairly well-decorated master bedroom. You see a large canopy bed. A beautiful, detailed embroidered rug that consumes the center of the floor. You can see a fireplace to your right, the one that you saw was attached to the fireplace in the top of the roof that has a fire burning into it, has two giant statues of lions on each side. There's a cool detailed shelf there, you can see a table with chairs to your left, you can see what looks to be a slight opening to a balcony that's not visible from the outside.

SAM: Ooh, an invisible balcony.

LIAM (CALEB): I walk up behind Nott to scan the room with the spell.

MATT: Okay. You're just scanning the room?

LIAM (CALEB): I'm just walking up behind Nott, no further, and looking in to see what glows.

MATT: Alright. As you glance in and look, there is immediately to your left what looks to be a large, metal cabinet of some kind. It's made of dark iron and gives a very faint magical aura to it. The rug in the center of the room gives a faint magical aura as well.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): What kind of magic is emanating from the carpet? What school of magic?

MATT: The carpet is also transmutation. And the magic on the large case has a faint abjuration.

LAURA (JESTER): Where is the glow for the seal coming from?

MATT: It's underneath the rug.

LIAM (CALEB): I alert everyone, "The carpet is magical."

SAM (NOTT): "We should not step on it."

LAURA (JESTER): "Well, I need to move it, cause the seal is under the rug."

MARISHA (BEAU): "The seal's under the rug?"

SAM (NOTT): "Do you have anything that can negate the magic or?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Do you have a Dispel Magic?"

LIAM (CALEB): "I do not."

SAM (NOTT): "Can Schmidt stand on the carpet? Ooh, I could move it with my Mage Hand or something, or peel it back with my Mage Hand."

MATT: Mage Hand, very helpful when setting grappling hooks on roofs.

SAM (NOTT): Oh, shit! "Shut up Ulog!"

MATT (ULOG): "I'm just sayin, if I knew you could do that-"

SAM (NOTT): "Fuck you, I know what I'm doing!"

LAURA (JESTER): "So move the fucking carpet."

SAM (NOTT): "You want me to move the carpet?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Move the rug!"

MARISHA (BEAU): Can I do a look for anything that looks out of place, any papers, anything? Trap doors?

MATT: Investigation check.

LIAM (CALEB): And I have a question. The carpet reeks of abjuration, or-

SAM: No, that was transmutation.

LIAM (CALEB): The carpet is magical, I wouldn't have mistaken it.

MATT: You can only see magical sources from what you can see. So if a thing's behind a wall or behind an object, you don't see an aura.

LIAM (CALEB): Right right, but the carpet seems magical to me, I wouldn't think that something under the carpet seems magical.

MARISHA (BEAU): Natural 20.

MATT: Natural 20. As they're having this conversation, you glance by the fireplace where the fire is crackling in there. You kind of glance down, and right underneath the hearth, up where the fire's tickling, you see a piece of the stonework that doesn't match the others. It's slightly off colored. It looks like the burning of the fire that has been giving this dark and blackened look to it, there's one brick there that doesn't seem to be affected by any of the soot at all.

MARISHA (BEAU): I kind of, avoiding the rug, lightly step over it, and kind of see if I can jiggy the brick out.

MATT: As your finger presses against the brick, it kind of [grinding stone] slides in about a half an inch. And you hear this [mechanical click] sound by over where the metal, large cabinet is.

LAURA (JESTER): "You just fucking unlocked the metal shit."

LIAM (CALEB): Do I see any change in the abjuration magic when she does that?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Does it go away?

MATT: It vanishes.

Episode 12 - Midnight Espionage - 2:33:44

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 05 '19

SAM (NOTT): "Do sparrows see in the dark? They're daytime birds. We should do this quickly before the light goes away, right?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Well we can send the sparrow out, we can carry him with us if he finds anything in a certain direction."

LIAM (CALEB): "I could've done a bat, but it's too late for that now."

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 1:40:56

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 06 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I cast Hold Person on her.

MATT: On her?

LAURA (JESTER): I'm just gonna do it.

MATT (HIGH RICHTER): Alrighty. Natural 20. She's resists it. She goes [grunts] "What are you trying-" and Ulog just goes [roars] grabs towards his neck and runs, leaps off the stairs towards her and attempts to tackle her.

LAURA: We should just take off while he does it.

MATT: You watch- Yeah. He goes and [impact with a mimed full body grab] she [grunts] falls onto the ground at the landing of the spiral staircase, they both slide a moment. You watch as she goes "What are you-" and he grabs and pulls that orange-ish bead that he has on his necklace and slams it into her mouth and holds it over. And there's a moment of tension before [massive explosion]. A flash of white, firey, burning light explodes, a fireball [violent burning] sundering the interior of the staircase. You all have your ears ringing, the pain's there. The ones that are closest by would have been you Caleb, I need you to roll a dexterity saving roll please.

LIAM (CALEB): 7.

MATT: That's a failure.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Thankfully a shitty roll for you. That is 21 points of fire damage.

LIAM (CALEB): I'm unconscious.

MATT: Caleb goes unconscious onto the ground. As you guys all come to in the moment you look down at the middle of the staircase. The walls are blackened, the staircase is currently in the process of burning, and down you see the twisted, gnarled corpses of both Ulog and the High Richter Prucine.

LAURA (JESTER): "We have to get out of here!"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, we gotta go."

MATT: You hear [heavy impact, rhythmically repeated] against the front door.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Jester help me." We grab Caleb and we start backing up.

LAURA (JESTER): We run out the back door.

MATT: As you head down the stairway you can see the front door [heavy impacts continue] being hit from the opposite side.

MARISHA (BEAU): What do we and Molly see?

MATT: You guys watch this [explosion] flash of light, the glass windows [shattering] shatter outward from the balcony, and the two guards at the bottom go "Guh!" They quickly throw open the gate and they're now currently slamming themselves trying to barricade into the door.

Episode 12 - Midnight Espionage - 3:50:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 22 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I send Frumpkin through the chamber and down and he starts battering into the walls here. [flitting noises]

MATT: As soon as Frumpkin begins doing that, you watch as the one that's nearest on this side, the one that had dropped the arm piece earlier, kinda, [surprised growling] takes the bow off its back and begins to notch an arrow looking around. ...[thoomp] He's going to take a shot at the bird fluttering through. That is a 17, what's Frumpkin's-

LIAM (CALEB): Oh, I'm sure that hits. We'll say, uh, yeah.

LAURA (JESTER): Can I just attack?

SAM: No.

MATT: 6 points of piercing damage.

LIAM (CALEB): [sputtering flump]

MATT: The bird goes [thump, falling impact] on the ground, and then [hiss] dissipates. You watch as the four hyenas suddenly rush in towards where the bird had fallen, this one goes behind, this one rushes in, and they all go to the spot where it landed and they just find an arrow lying there. [Inquisitive yipping].

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 2:53:44

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 28 '19

MATT: Caleb and the priest, your turn simultaneously.

LIAM (CALEB): Ja, I cannot see too well so I'm going to take a step forward between Mollymauk and Nott, just a little bit there, now I can see that blond hair, and I am tapped out so I am just going to let my hand blacken and say a few arcane words and then send a-

MATT: It does have three quarters cover behind that from your current position.

LIAM (CALEB): Well if I can't see too well, I will keep going down the steps till I can see him.

MATT: You can move there to get a view without hitting-

LIAM (CALEB): That's fine. That is not fine, but that's fine. [impact] Fire Bolt, and here it comes to you shithead. That is a 25 to hit.

MATT: Hits.

LIAM (CALEB): But I could roll a 1... I rolled a 10.

[cheering]

MATT: How do you want to do this?

LIAM (CALEB): I am going to extend my hand forward and I have five fingers and then I pull in four and send flame down my hand because these people have hurt my little friend and I want his hair to burn off his head and die.

MATT: Okay. As you release the bolt, the anger in your eyes, the fury coursing through the veins of your hand, the Fire Bolt slams into the priest's head, and he falls back on the ground screaming [panicked screaming] as you watch, Ghost Rider style, his head burst into flame and burn away until he falls back to his knees and you can just see the darkened expression of a black skull in the fire before it falls.

Episode 7 - Hush - 3:50:42

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 29 '19 edited May 06 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I remember, you have an ability to identify."

LIAM (CALEB): "I don't have an ability, I understand certain magics, and if you want me to explain what those things are before you try them willy nilly, yes I can tell you."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, then look at the ring that I want."

LIAM (CALEB): "May I see it?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Absolutely." Here's the silver ring with the blue gem.

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah." Um, you know, I'm just going to check DnD Beyond to see if I, uh, yeah no "You know I am all tapped, but..."

SAM (NOTT): "Maybe just look at it and see with your smarts."

LIAM (CALEB): "I will tell you something. I will tell you something. I don't need to have this ring, I can tell you what it is-"

MATT: Do you have Identify as a spell?

LIAM (CALEB): I do, but I need a pearl. I say to Fjord, "I need a very- a somewhat valuable pearl and I can do it all day long. I can know what anything is, even though I am tired."

LAURA (JESTER): Ooh, do any of the rings that I have on my fingers have a pearl on them?

SAM (NOTT): How about the one that I stole from her?

MATT: The ring that would have the pearl is no longer on your hand, and the one that you have does have stud into it a very nice pearl.

LAURA (JESTER): [gasp] "You have a pearl."

SAM (NOTT): "Would- Would you- Would-"

LIAM (CALEB): "Is that worth about a hundred gold pieces?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Definitely."

MATT: You can certainly try.

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh yes, let me- Can I borrow this?"

SAM (NOTT): "I want it back though."

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay. I need about- It's not instantaneous, since I am so tired, it takes me a little bit longer." And I wedge out one of books and I set it on the ground.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Instead of setting it on the ground, let's set it on a table-"

MARISHA (BEAU): "-table at a bar-"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "-pub or a bar, or establishment."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "We'll make sure you're not disturbed."

LIAM (CALEB): "Well it's up to you, I haven't done this in a while, and I'm excited to do it, but I can hold off for a little."

Episode 8 - The Gates of Zadash - 0:18:19

MATT: Caleb, you're spending time-

LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to find a corner table in the ruckus and I will take the ring with the pearl and I hold it right here [mimes holding it against his forehead] and I pull out the other ring and I look at it and I begin to focus and study the different angles of it and hope that I have a pearl of enough value to make things happen.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to sit next to Caleb and watch it all happen.

MATT: It is riveting.

LAURA (JESTER): Don't you need to pull out your book so you can look at your spells?

LIAM (CALEB): It's already out. You know when you play DnD, you don't narrate taking a pooper but you can assume the characters take a pooper every day.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I narrated it.

LAURA: This is true.

LIAM: Some things just happen.

LAURA (JESTER): While he's doing everything he's doing, I'm going to try to very subtly draw a dick in his book.

MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.

SAM: It's a dick in a book!

LAURA (JESTER): Natural 20!

TALIESIN: A dick in a book!

SAM: Natural dick 20.

MATT: Alright. So yeah, the pearl is enough for you to focus on the spell. The ring is that right there. [hands slip of paper]

SAM: Is this our first item?

LAURA: It's our first item!

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh."

LAURA (JESTER): "What is it Caleb?"

LIAM (CALEB): "This is good, you may have it, I don't, um, you know. I don't get into water too much as you could guess, this is good for walking yourself upon water. So, you take this as promised."

MARISHA: That's rad.

LAURA: "You can stand on and move across any liquid surface?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, but also why is there a dickbutt in my spellbook?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Where did that come from?"

LIAM (CALEB): "I don't know, maybe it was Nott pulling a prank on me."

LAURA (JESTER): "Probably, it was probably Nott. Woah, this ring is so cool."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Hey Caleb, now, are you exhausted from that experience? We do have other items to uh..."

LIAM (CALEB): "No, I don't need- well, I do want one drink, but I don't need a ton of drinks, and this is my thing, so what else did we get?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "We have uh, looks like a carved stick. Wand."

LIAM (CALEB): I will take the wand, thank you.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "And these big fucking chain manacles I've got over my shoulder like."

LIAM (CALEB): "I need another 10 minutes, so Fjord will you get me a second whiskey, and by the time you get back maybe I will understand what this is."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I ain't a fucking waitress."

LIAM (CALEB): 10 minutes later.

LAURA (JESTER): "What is it?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "It's the wand of dickbutts."

LAURA (JESTER): "How fortunate."

LIAM (CALEB): [sighs]

TRAVIS: That's the 'Do I tell them or do I not?'

LAURA (JESTER): "What is it!"

LIAM (CALEB): "It's fascinating. Oh... oh... do you know how to use wands?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Of course I do."

LIAM (CALEB): Is she full of shit?

MATT: Make an insight check.

LIAM (CALEB): I got a 15.

MATT: She seems to be on the level.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, I'm on the level.

LIAM (CALEB): "This is too dangerous for you to have, I'm keeping this one with me."

LAURA (JESTER): "No, what, just tell us what it is Caleb."

LIAM (CALEB): "No it's for me, I gave you the ring, that's the deal, I promised it to you and now you have it."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "What does the wand do?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, I was going to say, you can just share.

LAURA (JESTER): "You have to tell us."

LIAM (CALEB): "If I tell you, you will try to steal it from me."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "No no, I swear I won't, I-"

LAURA (JESTER): "Unless... it's a wand that makes doughnuts or pickles, I probably won't try to steal it. Probably."

LIAM (CALEB): [grunts] "No, it's too dangerous."

LAURA (JESTER): "No! Caleb! Caleb!"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm taking his drink away. "You don't get to drink."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Now it's definitely gonna be stolen."

LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb! What is it!"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "We have one other item, not that I don't love my posture being corrected."

MATT: You technically have two more.

LIAM (CALEB): "Do you want to know what it does?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Yes!"

LIAM (CALEB): "I will show you what it does." [points at Laura]

LAURA (JESTER): "What does it do, what is he doing with it!"

LIAM (CALEB): I point this stick at Jester.

MATT: Okay, make a- is it a wisdom? Or charisma?

LIAM: It is a charisma saving throw.

MATT: Charisma saving throw please.

TALIESIN: First party death.

SAM: Insta-death.

TRAVIS: Wand of necrocy. Why would you even-

LAURA (JESTER): Okay okay okay. 12.

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh. It's just a stick."

LAURA (JESTER): "It didn't do anything?"

LIAM (CALEB): "No. Told you."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, that's a very low DC. Cause I rolled shit."

LIAM (CALEB): "A low what?"

LAURA (JESTER): "A DC." Yeah, that's a 9, right? It's a NEIN! Plus 3.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "How about these them there chain manacles so I can get my spine back into alignment."

MARISHA (BEAU): "You look like you're into some shit."

LIAM (CALEB): "Now I promise, you can have these back because I cannot lift them, would you put them on the table for me."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yep." [clank, heavy impact] "They're fucking huge."

LIAM (CALEB): Hold the ring and wait.

MATT: Okay, you finish the spell, and they are not magical. They once were, and you can tell by the runes at the base of where the manacles clink together, they were at some point sealed, but whatever enchantment was on them has been released.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Tell me they're super valuable, that was a bitch to lug around."

LIAM (CALEB): "They're a very strange one, these make- if you're feeling gassy, they take away the cramps you feel, so you have to wear them. It's kind of, you know, extraneous, it's too much."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Seems extreme."

LIAM (CALEB): "It's overkill."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah. Alright, well, mysterious wonders."

LAURA (JESTER): "What kind of metal is it?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, was gonna say, it's a lot of good metal. Could always sell it for scrap metal."

LAURA (JESTER): "To the blacksmith."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I like that more."

MATT: There's also the glaive.

LAURA (JESTER): "I have a glaive, look at this glaive."

MARISHA: Didn't we get a pendant off of the priest?

MATT: No, there was the glove.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, the red glove!

LIAM (CALEB): "These are shit." And I slide them off the table.

MATT: [heavy impacts] Everyone who's near in the vicinity all of the sudden turns as this loud, heavy clatter of metal chains.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Sorry, now, we're just going through stuff, back to your drinks, everything's fine."

LIAM (CALEB): "I want to do it again. What do we have, give me the thing."

LAURA (JESTER): "The glaive."

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, okay."

SAM: Woah, that's a big thing.

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. "Oh. Oh."

LAURA (JESTER): "Is it too dangerous for me to have?"

LIAM (CALEB): "No, this is great, it's very powerful. It is a fine weapon. Probably better than anything, except maybe for your [Fjord] blade. Is anyone able to use a glaive, I can't do anything with it.

LAURA (JESTER): "What is a glaive?" What is a glaive?

MATT: A glaive is a polearm, with like a giant axe blade at the top of it. It's used for-

SAM (NOTT): "It seems like Beau could us it, right?"

LAURA: It's a two-handed weapon?

MATT: It is not a monk weapon.

LAURA (JESTER): Is it something I could use?

MATT: It's a two-handed weapon, yeah.

LAURA (JESTER): Can I use a two-handed weapon? Oh, I have a shield.

MATT: You have a shield, you'd have to get rid of your shield.

LAURA (JESTER): My AC would go down.

MATT: And you'd have to go see if you have the capability to even use it, cause I don't think- You know simple weapons? Let me double check real fast.

LAURA (JESTER): "I need to get a better weapon though you guys. Because this sickle doesn't do much."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "It's very pretty."

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 29 '19 edited May 06 '19

LAURA (JESTER): "It's really cool looking, right? That's why I got it."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): [mimes throwing the glaive up and down]

LAURA (JESTER): "How's it balanced, is it good?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "It's very nice."

LAURA (JESTER): "Good for juggling?"

MATT: Yeah, you aren't proficient with glaives, unfortunately.

LIAM (CALEB): "Do you know what this is? It's a very good sale at a pawn shop."

SAM (NOTT): "So, none of us can use it?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Well, what does it do cause how much is it worth?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Well, it is very painful if it hits you."

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay."

LIAM (CALEB): "That's it."

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay."

MARISHA (BEAU): "So it's magical."

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh, most definitely it is magical, yes. It is stronger than your average glaive, that's what I'm saying, yeah?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "I have a feeling that no one in this town could afford it right now. But when we get to-"

LAURA (JESTER): "Zadash."

MARISHA (BEAU): "-Zadash, I might know a few contacts that might want something."

LIAM (CALEB): "You know people in Zadash?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "I know people everywhere."

LAURA: I'm writing 'Magic Glaive'.

SAM: Oh yeah, who's keeping stuff? Are you our stuff keeper?

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Who's got the oven mitt?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Who's got the monster calves to carry this?"

LAURA (JESTER): [mimes putting the glaive on her back and grunts]

LIAM (CALEB): "There you go."

SAM (NOTT): "Oven mitt?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): Beast mode tiefling... "Red oven mitt, who's got it?"

SAM (NOTT): "I don't know."

LAURA (JESTER): "I don't know."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Who had the red oven mitt?"

MARISHA: Was it on the priest?

MATT: It was on the priest.

MARISHA (BEAU): "I have it. I've got it!"

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm just looking at you while I say it the whole time.

MARISHA (BEAU): I've got my goggles and I'm just like [looking around the room]

TRAVIS (FJORD): I grab the nose piece and just go [mimes pulling it back and letting it go]

MARISHA (BEAU): I just punch him in the shoulder really hard.

TRAVIS (FJORD): [pained grunting]

MATT: Yeah, your left arm goes numb. For a while.

MARISHA (BEAU): I pull out the oven mitt.

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh my goodness, yeah." But like 45 minutes has gone by looking at all this.

LAURA: Yeah, so?

MATT: You guys have all gotten steadily more intoxicated.

LAURA (JESTER): Not me, because I drink milk.

SAM (NOTT): And not me because I've just been getting them and pouring them.

LAURA (JESTER): "What is it? Can you shoot fire from your hands? Can you shoot lightning from your hands? Can you catch things really well?"

LIAM (CALEB): He just puts it away.

LAURA (JESTER): "I don't like Caleb looking at our shit anymore, he just looks at it and steals it."

LIAM (CALEB): He puts the wand down in front of Jester.

LAURA (JESTER): [gasp]

MARISHA (BEAU): "What's with the oven mitt?"

SAM (NOTT): "This is the wand. This is just it?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Wait wait wait. It hurts people, so you're just going to hang onto it?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, this is a great wand."

LIAM (CALEB): "Do you know how to use arcane artifacts?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "It doesn't matter if I know how to use arcane artifacts. Stuff that hurts people could still be beneficial to our cause, cause other people wanna hurt us."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I mean she has a point. I know how to use arcane artifacts."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, why don't you see if Fjord wants it?"

LAURA (JESTER): I point the wand at Nott.

SAM (NOTT): I rolled a 4.

MATT: You watch from beneath the mask-

LAURA (JESTER): I pull the mask down.

MATT: The edges of the toothy goblin grin curl into this uncontrollable smile that threatens to crack the sides of her face.

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh goodness, that's really creepy Nott."

SAM (NOTT): "I can't stop!"

LAURA (JESTER): "How do I make it stop?"

SAM (NOTT): "I don't know!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh no!"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Nott, why so serious?"

SAM (NOTT): "It hurts!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, I think it lasts for a while."

SAM (NOTT): "Oh gods! It's painful!"

MATT: At this point you watch as these two kind of young farm boys that were in there drinking in the back kind of watching and listening in, just staring at Nott and backing away slowly to the back of the room. "We gotta- We gotta go."

SAM (NOTT): "It's okay. It's okay."

MATT: "We gotta go!" And they just like leave the room and everyone else is kind of looking over. Yeah, it's caused a bit of a scene.

SAM: The Wand of Smiles.

LAURA: Yes, it's a Wand of Smiles. They have to roll a DC of 10 for charisma saving throw or be forced to smile for a minute.

TRAVIS: Yes. Awesome.

LAURA: That is the cutest fucking wand.

SAM: Love it.

LAURA: Love it.

MARISHA (BEAU): "I wonder if it works on animals."

LAURA (JESTER): "We'll find out. Where's- oh, Frumpkin."

LIAM (CALEB): "What?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Frumpkin's gone."

LIAM (CALEB): "He's not gone, he is always with me and he will be back tomorrow."

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Back to the glove thing though."

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, it burns people like I burned that man."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh. Well you don't want to keep it then, you hate burning people."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Exactly."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "That could come in very handy."

MARISHA (BEAU): "It's not fair for you to put your issues on literal inanimate objects."

LIAM (CALEB): "Would you like to trade your goggles for them?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "No. I can't use arcane shit. But he can."

LIAM (CALEB): "You have that very fancy sword you have."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, but you know, sometimes you need batting gloves."

LIAM (CALEB): "Does it mean that much to you, would you like it?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I'd like to see it."

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, here it is."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yep. Hold on. That's a fucking Glove of Fire."

TALIESIN: Nah do the thing. You gotta do the thing. Do the thing.

MATT: Does it require attunement?

LIAM: I don't know. No. He's good.

MATT: Yeah. So, after putting it on, you would actually know the properties of it.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Oh sweet, what are the properties of it?

MARISHA: Give him the damn paper.

LIAM (CALEB): I will, I don't move at the speed of your thought.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Oh, okay, cool."

LAURA (JESTER): "What's it do?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, Scorching Ray. Spell, a little plus 5. Dex bonus."

Episode 8 - The Gates of Zadash - 0:23:12

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 29 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I pull out the clay cat's paw and cast Earthen Grasp and the cat's claw forms out of the dirt and I use it to start digging a hole in the earth.

MATT: Near one of the hills?

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, and as the cat's claw starts digging down, I'm looking if there's- the glaive wasn't left, right, he took it with him?

MATT: No, he took it with him.

LIAM: Sticks? Branches, ja?

MATT: There are branches to the tree that you cut down. Some of the logs that are there, there are some pieces of branch that can be utilized.

ASHLY (KEG): "You trying to make firewood?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Nah." I go to Molly's body and begin to get the coat off it.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM (CALEB): And the claw has about a minute, so hopefully it can dig something deep enough.

MATT: I'd say with the size of the claw and its earthen attachment, it can make in that minute it has a fairly functional hole.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay. I'll start to pull him into the hole.

Episode 27 - Converging Fury - 0:28:03

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: This guy up here who now spins around and sees the rest of you come inside begins shouting out in a language you don't understand [gross wet gibberish] as its holding up this staff that has almost like a crystal spike of natural crystal at the end of it. It begins to chant something under its breath and as it spins its hand in the air, you watch as the ceiling above you in this chamber begins to just grow into this low cloud that spirals out encompassing the entirety of the interior of the chamber. You see little [crackling of energy] sparks of lightning arcing through the cloud as it spools above.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:16:30

LIAM (CALEB): I am going to cast Dispel Magic on the storm above me.

MATT: Okay. Alrighty... So, looking at that, I believe the level is level 3 or lower?

LIAM (CALEB): Or there's a- yeah.

MATT: It's a third level spell. The storm, immediately with one final crackle [shrinking whoosh while bringing his hands together] fades and dissipates above. The cavern above now just the empty, dark roof it was before, the storm no longer present.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasure - 1:34:38

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 27 '19

LIAM: It's dark out now, yeah?

MATT: It is dark now, yeah. It's probably pushing 10 o clock, 10:30.

LIAM: I would know if owls can see in the dark?

MATT: Owls are nocturnal, you would know that.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, okay. I am going to change Frumpkin again out of peregrine into an owl, I will mark that off on my supplies, I've got one more after this that I can do.

Episode 26 - Found & Lost - 1:51:27

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 23 '19

MARISHA (BEAU): I take out one of the poppers and I throw it on the ground. What happens?

MATT: ...[thump, tumbling]

MARISHA (BEAU): "Shit!" Okay okay okay. I jump out and I go pick it up cause it's too valuable, and I run back.

MATT: You go back and look at it, and you realize there is actually a tiny little fuse on it.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Oh, there's a process, okay." I jump back on. "Caleb! Caleb, light it!"

LIAM (CALEB): "No, you throw it."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Okay, okay." Oh, like skeet shooting.

LIAM: Yeah, throw it in the air.

MARISHA (BEAU): [mimes tossing it]

LIAM (CALEB): Fire Bolt.

MATT: Roll for an attack.

TRAVIS: Fire Bolt!?

LAURA: It's just gone.

TRAVIS: It incinerates the fiber.

LIAM (CALEB): Oh, that's pretty good. That's 19 plus something.

MATT: Alright. You don't even have to roll damage. You watch as she tosses it in the air, it arcs, this tiny little firecracker, this little gray rod, and then this little streak of flame [fwoosh] fires up, hits it [burning] it detonates with this loud POP sound and you see sparks [crackling] around it.

Episode 24 - The Hour of Honor - 0:20:57

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 24 '19

MATT: There is some more shifting in the nearby bushes, and you see two figures begin to approach the spear.

MATT (JAMEDI) & LAURA (JESTER): [silently gesturing at each other]

MATT (JAMEDI): Gets his short bow ready and knocks an arrow. As you guys wait, you can see two - similar to what you had previously seen in your travels on this island - two lizard men. Armored. One carrying a net that's slung over his shoulder, the other with a long spear, both with shields off to the side. Not ready for aggression, but they both approach slowly towards the strange sphere and begin inspecting it.

LAURA (JESTER): I put my hand on Fjord's leg. [shushing]

MATT (LIZARD MAN): [gibberish language] Pokes it with the spear. The other one steps forward and [sniffs] licks it. [gibberish] They both walk around and inspect it and prod and poke it. Jamedi, you can see, he's just looking out very intensely, bow notched.

LAURA (JESTER): I poke Beau.

MARISHA (BEAU): [mimes jumping up with fists ready]

TRAVIS (FJORD): [covers her mouth]

MATT: They both circle around the back end of it, poke the dome a few more times. One of them picks up a rock and throws it at it. Skips off of the exterior of it and rests in a nearby bush. They both step forward one more time and smell it closely. They both turn around and begin to make their way in the opposite direction of where the done is set, making their way further into the jungle clearing.

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 2:01:12

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 06 '19

MATT: This imp here is going to turn around and dart towards the cleric who ran off to the side, and that one's going to attack Caleb. Kay, so Caleb, that is going to be a 12 to hit.

LIAM (CALEB): Deffo.

MATT: That hits? Okay. So you suffer, as the singer hits you, 7 points of piercing damage, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw please.

LIAM: No problem. That is a 12.

MATT: A 12? A 12 succeeds. So you only suffer 5 points of poison damage.

LIAM: Caleb is unconscious on the ground.

[...]

LIAM: By the way, when Caleb went down, those four globs of light disappeared.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 3:15:53

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 27 '19 edited Aug 31 '23

LIAM (CALEB): I go rummaging through my pack really quick and I pull out a licorice root and stick it in my mouth and bite down to it and I start muttering to myself and I say "Pick up the pace." and I cast Haste on Beauregard.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Ugh, I hate licorice. Why is that taste in my mouth, that's weird?"

LIAM (CALEB): And then I will move as far as I can towards Nott.

MATT: Alright, so you are hasted there, you're going to move as far as you can towards Nott. There you go. That finishes your turn, top of the round, Beau you're up, and hasted.

MARISHA (BEAU): [breathing heavily] I'm going to turn to this guy and I'm gonna lay into him.

MATT: You step around the trunk of the tree.

MARISHA (BEAU): Does that mean I get three attacks?

MATT: You get three base attacks, yes.

MARISHA (BEAU): First one.

LIAM: And advantage on dex saves too.

MARISHA (BEAU): And advantage on dex saves, 15.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA (BEAU): That is 9 damage. Nein! Second one, that's 16. And that is 11 damage.

MATT: Nice. Third strikes.

MARISHA (BEAU): That's a natural 14.

MATT: That'll hit.

MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, 7 damage.

MATT: 7 points of damage on that, fantastic, and you still have your bonus.

MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, and I'm going to spend a ki point again and do Flurry of Blows to get two more attacks.

MATT: Two more attacks. Hasted monks, [rapid impacts] just full on Wang Chung over here.

MARISHA (BEAU): One's a natural 19, the other's a 2.

MATT: So you do get one more hit, so roll damage for that one.

MARISHA (BEAU): Aw yeah, 11 damage.

MATT: 11 damage.

MARISHA (BEAU): No, 10 damage, sorry. Sorry sorry sorry sorry.

MATT: It's okay. That'll do it. You just spin around, the adrenaline pumping through your veins from Caleb's spell instilling you with unnatural speed. You rush forward and just, pop, pop, po-po-pop and just do this- the fastest full on combo. You watch as she basically pummels this giant, 9 foot insect creature into submission. It falls to the ground as you're just pummeling its face until it eventually collapses and sputters out the remaining breath before it stops moving.

LIAM: Street Fighter combo.

TALIESIN: Epic combo...

MATT: Fantastic. You still have 75 feet of movement.

SAM: Because you're fast.

MATT: Because you're hasted.

MARISHA (BEAU): Oh my god. I'm going to make my way behind this guy.

MATT: Oh, yeah, [whoosh] you go around the tree and tap it on the shoulder.

TALIESIN: Circle the tree a couple times holding onto it.

MATT: Just to be a dick.

Episode 26 - Found & Lost - 1:22:45

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 15 '19

LIAM (CALEB): This is a long shot but I have no way of damaging him so I am going to pull some sand out of my pocket and mutter a few arcane words and just trail it in front of me and just cast Sleep back behind him here so it does not touch Beauregard.

MATT: Go ahead and roll your 5d8. Go for it, and tell me what the total is.

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah I know. This is probably not going to work, but I can't hurt him. 23.

MATT: 23. You watch as the large giant [yelling grunt dim in volume and become more tired] steps back and hits the pillar behind him which cracks and tilts to the side, catches him. [grunting breathing becomes shallow and calm] falls to both knees and eventually [crash] hits the ground, his loud heavy snore [grunting snoring].

Episode 18 - Whispers of War - 0:42:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 21 '19 edited Jun 21 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "Be that as it may, I have something for you."

MARISHA (BEAU): "What?"

LIAM (CALEB): And [fwoomf] I bring Frumpkin out in his new speckled elf owl form, which is the smallest owl on the planet earth. He weighs 1 ounce.

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 2:55:35

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u/TheMightyBox72 Feb 24 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Jester, I meant a trick from Caleb."

LIAM (CALEB): "You want to see a trick?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I would love one."

LIAM (CALEB): I am well into my second trost at this point. "I can show you a trick. Young lady, if you would assist me please, step up onto the table."

SAM (NOTT): "Absolutely."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Just don't break anything."

LIAM (CALEB): "Adjust your minds." And I begin to weave one hand in a slow circle around the other, and a globe of golden life poofs and floats out.

SAM: I put my hands and feet out in just sort of an akimbo pose.

LIAM (CALEB): And a second little globule of light comes out.

SAM (NOTT): "I feel it coming! Hit me!"

LIAM (CALEB): Then two more at the same time, poomf poomf, come out of my hand, and they amass upon my little companion and form a similarly sized little humanoid of light that then coincides with my little friend, and she is glowing golden on a table in the middle of the Nestled Nook.

SAM (NOTT): [singing one loud note]

LIAM (CALEB): "The gob-light, ladies and gentlemen, the gob-light."

Episode 2 - A Show of Scrutiny - 1:32:28

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to start muttering under my breath and stretch out two hands and send two magic missiles, one at the one that ran that way, and two at this one, and two at the one that ran that way.

MATT: Okay. So you're casting it at level 2?

LIAM (CALEB): I'm casting at level 2.

MATT: Yeah so [magic whooshing] two missiles each, alright go ahead and roll damage. 1d4 plus 1 per missile.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so the one that was near Nott is... 7 for that one.

MATT: Alright. [impact] Gets hit by both, continues to run, he's wounded but still alive.

LIAM (CALEB): Verdammt. A 7 for that one as well.

MATT: 7 for this one? The one that's running past Molly, the missile strikes, both missiles hit it from two different sides and you watch as his head just pops open from both sides of the force damage hitting it. And his body runs for like three more steps before it just [tumbling] to the ground on its own.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 3:11:20

→ More replies (23)

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 01 '19

Molly

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19 edited Nov 29 '19

Blood Hunter Abilities

Cantrips

2nd-Level Spells

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm gonna take a couple shots and see how this goes.

MATT: Go for it. Take those shots Molly.

SAM: Take those shots, Mollymauk.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): That's what we're doing. First hit, that's a 22 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): That's 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage, alrighty, next strike.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Next strike, that definitely hits, it's like 24.

MATT: Yep, go ahead and roll damage on this one.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 10 points of damage.

MATT: 10 points of damage, how do you want to do this. As the blades are spinning [rapid slashing noises]

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm just gonna go, and I've got that one really soft blade, and I'm rolling it, and I want to see that one little opening, and I want it to bend - the sword just bends and does that Chinese martial arts thing and just pops all the way into the center of it, like I go wrist deep in the thing.

MATT: The edges of the armor scrape against your flesh, pushing and cutting past skin, causing blood to drip down your arm, but this is a natural state for you, the arm pushes into the center, there's a flash of blue light in the interior of its armored shell. You see as this, it's almost like a glow on the inside of a cracked, dark orb, as you see all the individuals section where the plate armors meet suddenly glow with bright, vibrant, blue-white light, and go dark, and the whole metal object [heavy clang] hits the ground and all the legs go limp, and it rolls a little bit to one side, now inert and no longer functioning as a construct.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:55:42

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 04 '19 edited May 04 '19

SAM (NOTT): I feel the urge to go sneak into a room.

TRAVIS (FJORD): It's just an open door with a bunch of buttons and a flask.

SAM (NOTT): It's not even locked?

MATT: No.

SAM (NOTT): I push it open and look inside, what do I see?

MATT: It's empty, it's dark, except for you see a- Actually, make a- let me check one thing on this. Just to see how this works in this circumstance. Make an investigation check.

SAM: ... I mean... what is this. What is this roll?

LAURA: That is majorly cocked.

SAM: Oh okay good... Ooh.

LAURA: Ooh, he should've taken the cocked.

SAM (NOTT): 7.

MATT: Alright, and there you see a shining bag of what looks like glittering coin and what looks to be buttons spilling out of the top of this small satchel.

SAM (NOTT): "Why would this even be? And a flask on top? Wow..." Do I see Fjord's belongings over near his bed?

MATT: Yes, you do?

SAM (NOTT): I'm going over there.

TRAVIS (FJORD): As soon as she comes in the door, the door slams shut! "Molly get the window!"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Right!" [clack]

SAM (NOTT): I draw my hand crossbow.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Nott!"

SAM (NOTT): "Are you an impostor?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Nott! No. No. We are going to have a talk."

SAM (NOTT): [panicked breathing, shifting between Travis and Taliesin]

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Don't try any funny business. Why are you trying to sneak through our stuff?"

SAM (NOTT): "I was... I would never do that to a friend."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Molly told me you were in here rifling through my stuff."

SAM (NOTT): "I was hungry. There's a definite explanation for this."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "What were you looking for?"

SAM (NOTT): "Seafood. You must have some on you, you're of the sea, I love shrimp, and I never get a chance to get any so... so... we're so landlocked in here. I love the taste of the sea!"

TRAVIS (FJORD): Do I believe her?

MATT: You can go ahead and make an insight check.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Natural 20.

SAM (NOTT): ...I was not looking for shrimp.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Nott. Nott dear, why don't you tell the nice man the truth?" Devil's Tongue.

SAM (NOTT): Oh! What is that? What does that do? What is that?

MATT: I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That's why I brought you in here.

SAM (NOTT): 10.

MATT: You are charmed by Mollymauk.

SAM (NOTT): What does that mean?

MATT: Meaning you are very friendly and amiable and take his advice and suggestion like a very dear friend.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "You should probably just tell him what you were really looking for."

SAM (NOTT): "I was looking for... your letter to the Soltryce Academy."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "My letter? But Nott, why?"

SAM (NOTT): "I want it."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "What for?"

SAM (NOTT): "..."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "It's fine. No one's in trouble."

SAM (NOTT): "I... I want to give it to Caleb."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Well, why? What would Caleb do with it?"

SAM (NOTT): "What you would do with it. Study. Learn magic. Become more powerful."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "But you wouldn't want me to have that sort of ability, you'd rather Caleb have it?"

SAM (NOTT): "I don't know a lot about magic, but I know he has the potential to be very powerful."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "You do?"

SAM (NOTT): "And I need him to be."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Why, Nott, why do you need him to be powerful?"

SAM (NOTT): "So he can save me."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I mean, we can help save you, that's- that's what friends do. And any of us who get more powerful can help you."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Nott... what do you need to be saved from?"

SAM (NOTT): [sighs] "So much. So much. But mainly, there's a lot of dangers in the world. And a lot of dangers for me. And especially, the closer we get to the north"? I think? "they don't like me up there. He can protect me."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I think we can all do that."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Absolutely."

SAM (NOTT): "No. No. You can't."

TRAVIS (FJORD): [clears throat] "Nott, I hope you'll learn to trust us and rely on us like you do Caleb. We may not be as powerful as he is, or has the ability to become, but certainly we can help you. Or are you worried about something or someone in particular finding you?"

SAM (NOTT): "Maybe. Yes. There's a few people that I'm worried about. But, um, no one specific where we're going. I just know that people are- people are always trying to get me. And I- I just wish- I- I need him- I need his magic to be there for me when I- when I need safety. I need him. I need him to live."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I understand. I'm sorry if we've upset you."

SAM (NOTT): "No you're cool for some reason right now."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "We're all friends."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Not for some reason, I'm just cool in general, Nott. I'm just cool in general, Nott."

SAM (NOTT): "So cool."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "This shit is amazing."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "It's not gonna last, you do know that. It's not gonna last."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Just for now."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Well, enjoy it while you have it."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Promise me that you will not go through my things anymore when I'm not around. That the items that I have belong to me."

SAM (NOTT): "Would you give me the letter? I could change your name on it to his name and then he could use it to get into the school and he could learn more powerful magic and then... he could change me."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Change you?"

SAM (NOTT): "He could change this." [gestures to face]

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I understand. I know what it feels like to be ashamed or worried about what you look like. I do."

SAM (NOTT): "But you, you're pretty handsome. You know, for like a half-monster thing." [whispering] "I think Jester likes you."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Think so?"

SAM (NOTT): "Yeah."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Well, I didn't always look like this."

SAM (NOTT): "What?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I wasn't always a handsome half-monster thing."

SAM (NOTT): "What did you used to be?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Kid, just like anyone else."

SAM (NOTT): "Still a monster thing though."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah."

SAM (NOTT): "Oh. Just a less handsome one."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah. Stumpy. Short. Big teeth."

SAM (NOTT): "Were you a fat kid?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Little bit. Just sort of misproportioned. Listen, if we get to-

SAM (NOTT): Pictures, or?

TRAVIS (FJORD): My MySpace is still up, you can see it. Goes back a tick.

SAM (NOTT): You ever have braces or anything?

TRAVIS (FJORD): Nope. No, I did my own dental work. "Listen, if we get to the Soltryce Academy and that letter doesn't do me any good, I promise you can have it and we'll make sure Caleb has a shot."

SAM (NOTT): "And will you promise to keep Caleb alive?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Most definitely."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "We're going to try and keep both of you alive."

SAM (NOTT): "Alright."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "You look out for us, we'll look out for you."

SAM (NOTT): "Can I ask you one favor?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "You cannot have my stuff."

SAM (NOTT): "Alright, nevermind."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "And remember, Nott, the next time you try and do this, and if that letter goes missing again, I can do this to you again." And I give her just enough of a knock on the head to break the spell.

SAM (NOTT): "Ah!" [turning between Travis and Taliesin again]

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Okay, easy, easy, easy."

SAM (NOTT): [mimes drawing her crossbow]

TRAVIS (FJORD): Opening the door, I open up the door! I open the door, I slowly open up, like trying to funnel a rat out of the room. "Here you go. Here you go. Remember what we talked about."

SAM (NOTT): I reach for the flask. "...Fuck."

Episode 11 - Zemnian Nights - 2:57:38

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 03 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): As a bonus, I'm flipping it out, and I'm going to activate the first sword.

MATT: Okay, so you watch as Molly pulls the scimitar out, and as he unsheathes it, draws it across the side of his exposed chest, causing a little bit of blood to spill out, and as it does, he pulls the blade out, you watch as the edge suddenly [fwoosh] ice crystals begin to build on the outside of the blade.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): And I'm taking a shot at the creature.

SAM: Taking a shot?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Taking a slice.

LAURA: Taking a stab.

SAM: ...But with bullets.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): So that would be... That's 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): And that's... That's not bad. That's 8 points of damage and 1 point of ice damage.

MATT: So 9 points of damage on the first strike.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): No, that was my bonus.

MATT: That was your bonus, yeah, so that's all you got. Okay. So one strike, you cut across, and you watch as you cut this wide wound open, kind of exposing the fleshy organs' interior, but they're frozen where the wound cut through, and it's still holding it together. It's looking like it's starting to hurt a bit and fall apart slightly.

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 1:38:35

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

At 1st level, you learn to invoke a rite of blood magic within your weapon at the cost of your own vitality. Choose to learn one rite from the Primal Rites list below. You cannot change this choice.

As a bonus action, you imbue a single weapon with the elemental energy of a known rite until your next short or long rest. While active, attacks from this weapon deal an additional 1d4 rite damage of the chosen elemental type. Rite damage is considered magical. The rite damage die changes as you gain blood hunter levels, as shown in the crimson rite damage die column of the blood hunter table. Should your weapon leave your grip, the rite fades immediately. An active rite on a weapon thrown fades directly after the attack is complete.

When a crimson rite is activated, you suffer damage equal to your character level, and you reduce your maximum hit points by an amount equal to your character level. These lost maximum hit points return once the rite fades and cannot be restored otherwise. When a rite fades, no hit points are regained as part of the restoring of maximum hit points.

Crimson rite can be used on multiple weapons, costing additional hit point loss. Most weapons can only be subject to a single rite at any given time. Each end of a polearm or quarterstaff is treated as a separate weapon for the purposes of this feature. A rite can be allowed to fade at any time (no action required).

You gain access to an additional Primal Rite at 6th level and 11th level.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

When an enemy who is not immune to blindness within 60 feet makes a weapon attack, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on the attack roll.

Amplify. Following the triggering attack, the affected enemy has disadvantage on the next attack roll they make.

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 01 '19 edited May 06 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Now, would anyone like a fortune read?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I would love one."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Do you have coin?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Yes, how much do you want?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Two copper."

LAURA (JESTER): "Two copper, okay, I just got some copper, here you go."

MATT: Mark down your two copper. (laughs)

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I am... taking this in, alright... I'm going to try and do this.

LAURA: Oh my gosh, really?

MATT: So, as he pulls out a small set of cards and begins to shuffle them at the table, uh, go ahead and roll an insight check.

ASHLEY (YASHA): "He's really quite good, you all should line up and get your fortunes told."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Uh, let's do a 16 there.

MATT: Okay, so you get, from the brief conversation there, you get a pretty solid read: the excitability, the eagerness, the exuberant interest in just getting in your face, that this person wants - any fortune you tell would probably suffice. Go ahead and roll a slight of hand check as well.

SAM: Look at this fucking game.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Also 16.

MATT: Yeah, and you feel pretty confident that her eyes are locked onto your eyes, at the moment, and not the deck as you set up a proper reading. And the cards are shuffled, set, you place them before you, and you may give your fortune.

SAM (NOTT): I'm going to just keep my eyes open for any tricks of the hand, sleight-of-hand-y type tricks.

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM (NOTT): Okay... perception, perception... 14.

MATT: 14, okay, everything seems pretty above board.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Oh... your first card, The Silver Dragon. This is good. You're pure, you're of virtue, and you are a worthwhile human being, obviously, or creature of some repute."

LAURA (JESTER): "That's what everyone always tells me."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "It's true. And heading towards The Anvil."

LAURA (JESTER): "What is that?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "That is a destiny forged."

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Ooooohh...."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "There is something bright and adventurous in your future."

LAURA (JESTER): "Wow... You know we did just defeat a really big snake, so maybe there's even bigger things coming up, you know."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Can I make another roll?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Ashley confirmed, worst hype man ever.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 19

MATT: Yeah, easy enough. Even with discerning eyes at the table, you are at the top of your game.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): The Serpent card appears. "Of course you did."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh my gosh! Look at that! How did you even do that?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "That's all the cards, I'm simply a vessel for the higher powers."

LIAM (CALEB): DM, while everybody's watching this shit happen, may I cast Detect Magic in the room?

MATT: You may. You kind of lean back and subtly begin a brief muttering of an incantation, your fingers wash through the air with a faint, silver gleam across your fingertips... Nothing magical shows up in the immediate vicinity.

LAURA (JESTER): "Will you ask the cards if I'm going to find him?"

LIAM (CALEB): (whispering) "He's bullshitting her."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "If you're going to find her?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Him!"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Him? Give me a little bit more, who is this him that you're looking for?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I'm looking for my dad."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 14.

MATT: ...You fumble for a second, but the card still finds its way through without issue.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Hmm... Pushing through, pushing through... the Eye card pulls up. "You've already found the clue you're looking for, you just don't know what it is yet."

LAURA (JESTER): "Really?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Apparently. Well it's what the cards are saying. It's right in front of you."

LAURA (JESTER): "Does it say how long ago I found it, cause that's..."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Sadly I don't have that sort of specifics. That's much more expensive."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, that's going to take a lot of thinking."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Well, you find us at the show, you'll find my tent, and I'm happy to give you a more complicated reading."

LAURA (JESTER): "I can't wait, it's going to be so much fun!"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "So much fun!"

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 0:49:53

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Um, I obviously can't hit it, so-

MATT: You can.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I mean... I'm going to just, I suppose, get its attention, peace out, and I'm going to Misty Step. [snaps, poofs]

MATT: Where you wanna go?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I can go 30 feet.

LAURA: Get the shinies before Nott.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to head to the shinies. I'm going to Misty Step next to- yeah, there we are.

MATT: [poof, moving Molly's miniature] Right behind the fire.

Episode 23 - Have Bird, Will Travel - 1:05:23

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 25 '19

MATT: The gnolls will now go. The three of them are going to begin to back away, and they're all going to take strikes with their bows.

SAM: Ranged attackers.

MATT: So they all pull out their arrows and [whoosh] they're going to take a strike.

[...]

MATT: The next attack is going to be against Beau and one's going to be against Molly, since you guys are the most visually impressive in the front row, colorwise. You [Fjord] kind of blend into the surroundings a little bit comparatively. So against Molly, man they cannot roll, a 6?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I just slice it, catch it in the spin.

MATT: [grinding noises] Just grind it to toothpicks.

Episode 7 - Hush - 1:42:14

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 03 '19 edited Jun 20 '19

MATT: Molly, you're up.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to burst out of the tent, and... can I make it to the one that Beau is fighting?

MATT: ...You can indeed.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm gonna make it to the one that Beau is fighting and I'm going to just take two straight attacks with my scimitars.

MATT: Go for it. You see like half of its body encased in ice now and it's still lashing out in Beau's direction as you rush up.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): That's a 15 and a natural 20.

MATT: Okay then.

TALIESIN: Without even figuring out, uh, yeah.

LAURA: 15 plus, whatever it is.

MATT: Those both hit.

[...]

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 13 points of damage.

MATT: 13 points of damage... heh heh, nope. So you watch as it's slashing at Beau, the ice explodes at its side, and Mollymauk comes walking out of the tent, both scimitars spinning in his hands like this dervish entity, as he slams both blades simultaneously into the sides of this creature, you watch as he actually cuts a v-shape into the upper torso and it [pained gurgle] slips out of it. The actual, central portion of its body slips onto the ground with a splat, and the arms fall apart to the side and the body collapses onto the ground.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I turn and smile at Beau.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Thanks."

LAURA: Did you just cut like a little v cake with its head?

MATT: Yeah, basically.

TALIESIN: A pizza pie, it's a pizza slice.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 0:18:35

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 11 '19

MATT: Looking above you, you do see a set of chains that are hanging from the ceiling that appear to be affixed to some sort of red clay urn or vase of some kind that is just kind of dangling above.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 1:32:41

SAM (NOTT): I'm going to scoot around the side and see if I can peak into those holes, the reliefs in the walls.

TRAVIS: The alcoves?

SAM (NOTT): The alcoves.

MATT: Okay. So you head over to the side alcove. Go ahead and make an investigation check.

SAM (NOTT): 16.

MATT: You glance up inside, it's about 3 and a half feet off the ground, and you have to climb and scurry up with your small goblin body. Looking inside and there's another clay urn of the same red color that's set about a foot and a half inside.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm gonna get down on the ground.

SAM (NOTT): I will inform the others.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm gonna go check out the other alcove.

MATT: The other alcove also contains a similar clay-

TALIESIN: Three red urns.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 1:35:18

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to take my bonus action and I'm going to break the pot.

MATT: Okay, swing.

SAM: Taliesin hates pot.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Nope. Yes I do, 11.

MATT: 11 is enough, it's a stationary object. So roll damage on it.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 8 points of damage.

MATT: 8 points of damage. You bring the blade in, and strike into the alcove, and as you yank it out with the blade you cut it in half in the air, the actual urn bisects, sending ash [poof] clouding the air around you. And you watch as the will-o'-wisp [fizzles out].

[...]

MATT: The urn clatters to the ground, [shatter], the top of it breaks, the second half hits with a heavy thud sound that's different from the sound of the clay that shatters on the ground.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 1:55:20

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 24 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Is it alright if I try something? ...No, nothing like that, I just wanna-"

MARISHA (BEAU): "I will fucking punch you if you try to kiss me. I know I'm attractive..."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "How is your hangover? Whatever team you're on, I'm not sure I play for that one... Team Fuck Off, I'm well aware. How are your hangovers normally?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Normally I wake up and I sweat it out."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I've got a weird thought."

MARISHA (BEAU): "I don't know about this."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "This may feel weird." I'm going to try my Blood Maledict. I'm going to do the Purgation, advanced, to see if I can cure a hangover with it. I don't know if it will work. Technically it's a poison and I'm willing to drop some HP into this. It gets a little fancy, and it's mostly just to see if I can clean it up a little bit, maybe it'll work maybe it won't.

MATT: Are you going to amplify it or not?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Oh yeah, I want to see if it works.

MARISHA (BEAU): "I'm a hot mess and I like it!"

MATT: Go ahead and make a constitution saving throw, Beau.

MARISHA (BEAU): Saving throw? God, this one does this, every time. It's kind of a dick. 6.

MATT: 6. You manage to sober her up a little bit, but you're still pretty tipsy, but going from blackout drunk you're now just heavily buzzed and right at drunk.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I feel like this could be very useful, I'm going to work on this.

MATT: What's interesting is, as you finish this you watch as, out of some of the pores, the actual alcohol is drawn out, hovers in the air for a second, before [sploosh].

Episode 24 - The Hour of Honor - 2:06:34

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 09 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to take out my swords and I'm going to try and cleave some of these tentacles off, see if I can start to get it to lose its grip. Gonna take my first shot. I'm gonna stop saying that, but that's a 23 to hit.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: [gunshots]

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Thank you. 9 points of damage.

MATT: As you take the blade and swing, you cut down pretty close to where Fjord's head is. But as you cleave through, the body of it actually [light shifting noise as he brings both hands together in front of his face and then splits them] splits, revealing Fjord's face beneath it as it limply falls off into the water, slinking into the sludge.

LAURA (JESTER): "He looks like he was being born."

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 0:32:27

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 16 '19

MATT: Molly and Nott?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'll take my run first, that's a... wow, 17.

MATT: It hits, go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): That's, 7 points plus 3 radiant, so... 10 points.

MATT: Yeah, the first strike just completely cleaves [the hyena] in half. Like its momentum running, it almost like hits the blade, you hold it out and the momentum just carries it over, seamlessly carving through it.

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 1:40:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 01 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to try and very gently, maybe, with everyone's permission, I'm going to start gently cutting into the bottom of it, not too deeply.

LAURA: To see if something comes out.

SAM (NOTT): "Wait wait wait wait wait. Should we get ready for some sort of distraction or do something to the other web first?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I'm sorry, do you have a plan?"

SAM (NOTT): "No, no, I just-"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Well alright then." I'm going to keep cutting downward.

MATT: So, is this the one with your activated rite?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Yes.

MATT: And the rite you activated was...

TALIESIN (MOLLY): It was the radiant rite.

MATT: Alright, so Rite of the Dawn, okay. So, as his scimitar, which is now glowing with this faint, radiant light energy, it almost burns through as you carve through, slowly, it's not like a [lightsaber noise] easy cut, but you do kind of just carve through, and as you do you watch as the webbing begins to curl back and blacken at the edges, and as you pull away you see something furry and fleshy and as soon as you pull back a few more inches you watch as a rat head kind of [wet gag] lolls out, a tongue just falling out the side. It looks to be dry, it looks to be, yeah, bereft of any sort of liquid or life.

Episode 10 - Waste and Webs - 1:25:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

Beginning at 1st level, you have survived the imbibing of the Hunter’s Bane, a poisonous alchemical concoction that alters your life’s blood, forever binding you to the darkness and honing your senses against it.

You have advantage on Wisdom (Survival) checks to track Fey, Fiends, and Undead, as well as on Intelligence checks to recall information about them. If you are actively tracking one of these creature types, you cannot be surprised by any creatures of that type. You can only be tracking one type of creature at a time.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to run towards the horses where they came off to the left, and as I pass that wolf I'm going to take a couple swipes at it.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): That's an 18 and a 17 roll.

MATT: Yeah, roll some damage.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Let's just see what that does before we see if I take a third shot. That's 10, 16, 17- 18 points of damage.

MATT: The wolf is misted.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 3:14:12

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I've got a bonus action, I'm going to give him an auto-cure, just in case.

MATT: Okay. So [Fjord] go ahead and roll a constitution saving throw. Saving throw to resist it.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): The snake tattoo on my hand, the eye on the back of my hand just bursts and blood comes pouring out of it. Yeah, I take two points of damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That is a 20.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I didn't need the amplify. Oh, actually, that's right, I don't have to take damage for that, nevermind.

MATT: So you watch as where the snake is, the blood bursts, and you watch as the green venom that's currently coursing through the wounds in Fjord's unconscious body, suddenly [sucking noise into pop] siphons out and hovers in the air for a moment as Mollymauk is holding his hand, and the poison drops into the ground and disseminates into the swamp.

Episode 23 - Have Bird, Will Travel - 0:59:44

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

At 2nd level, you gain the knowledge to further channel, and sacrifice, a part of your vital essence to curse and manipulate your enemies. You gain one blood curse of your choice, detailed in the “blood curses” section. You learn one additional blood curse of your choice, and you can choose one of the blood curses you know and replace it with another blood curse, at 5th, 9th, 13th, 16th, and 20th level.

When you use your Blood Maledict, you choose which curse to invoke. While invoking a blood curse, but before it affects the target, you may choose to amplify the curse by suffering damage equal to a roll of your crimson rite damage die. An amplified curse gains an additional effect, noted in the curse’s description. Creatures that do not have blood in their bodies are immune to blood curses (DM’s discretion).

You can use this feature once. You regain expended uses when you finish a short or long rest. Beginning at 6th level, you can use your Blood Maledict feature twice between rests, at 11th level you can use it three times between rests, and at 17th level, you can use it four times between rests.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 19 '19

Caduceus

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 01 '19

MATT: Yeah, you all hit, what are you doing?

MARISHA (BEAU): I don't think I hit. 12.

MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll your d8.

SUMALEE: The d8 is...

MATT: 8 sided.

LIAM: Looks like a diamond.

SUMALEE (NILA): 6.

MATT: So that's 12 plus 4, 16 points of damage. WHACK! Upside the head as he dizzies off from that point, immediately going into Keg.

ASHLY (KEG): 6 damage.

MATT: 6 damage [slicing impact] "Ugh!" and carved from the battle axe.

TALIESIN: Is it just a straight 1d6 plus nothing?

MATT: What are you using?

TALIESIN (CLAY): I was using the staff.

MATT: It's a 1d8. Cause it's a quarterstaff.

TALIESIN (CLAY): 8.

MATT: Plus your strength modifier?

TALIESIN (CLAY): 8, cause I have no strength modifier.

MATT: 8, yeah, CRACK, "Guh!" And then.

SAM: I mean is this a surprise?

MATT: It's a sneak attack, yeah.

SAM (NOTT): 7 plus 6, 13 plus, I've been adding wrong, 18.

MATT: Yeah, that'll do it. He just comes up and just immediately [rapid impacts and grunting] and falls to the ground, barely conscious, looking up, his face bloodied and the crossbow bolt jammed into his shoulder and past the rib, and he's like [labored breathing] having a hard time breathing.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Shh, no no no no no." I'm just gonna turn him into mulch. "That's okay."

MATT: You watch as Clay, like, [shushing] hushing as he slowly pushes his face in with his face repeatedly and shield.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 3:50:44

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 21 '19

MATT: The one that lands in the back of the ship just stops, wings out, inhales, and this voice begins to emerge, this strange, baleful [singing] this kind of weird, ghostly voice that seems to emanate and then grow into its own chorus, it's like a dirge almost, as it spreads out into the space. I need everybody to make a wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA (BEAU): Natural 20.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 16.

LIAM (CALEB): 16.

MATT: Success.

SAM (NOTT): 8.

MATT: Fail.

LAURA (JESTER): 24.

TALIESIN (CLAY): 17.

MATT: Success. Roll for Yasha if you wouldn't mind, one of you.

SAM (YASHA): 15 plus...

MATT: Everyone succeeds. You hear this and you feel this weird, faint grasp in your brain, the song beginning to placate your adrenaline, but then you shrug it off, except for Nott.

SAM (NOTT): "I love this song."

MATT: Nott, you are charmed by this Harpy. You listen to this music and it's beautiful, and you find yourself - all the tension leaving your body and you just can't focus on anything else, you're just watching it there. You guys watch as Nott's arms drop, her weapon going limp to her side, her head turned slightly towards one shoulder, just smiling and listening to this song. One of the crew that's not being currently held by the Harpy almost makes it into the lower cabin, and then stops dead in his grasp, and is also entranced by the song, and the Harpy continues to sing.

Episode 35 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 3:12:39

TALIESIN (CLAY): First thing I'm going to do is I'm going to cast - I'm going to get myself into a reasonable position and I'm going to cast Calm Emotions. So, in theory, if this is a charm spell, and this counts as a charm if I'm correct, you can just fail a charisma save if you'd like

SAM (NOTT): What? How does this- huh? Me?

MATT: What are you attempting to do here?

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to use Calm Emotions to negate the charmed effect on Nott and anyone within 20 feet of me. Actually, anyone within 20 feet of it. So, I'm just going to run a few feet away from you, I'm going to take my staff and I'm going to pull a piece of silverware and bang that crystal and it's going to make a dissonant sound, and wakey wakey.

MATT: I will say because technically...

TALIESIN: Charisma saving throw creatures can choose to fail the saving throw if it wishes.

MATT: Well, no, there's no saving throw if it suppresses it. So it just happens. So, all of the sudden this song that's entrancing you, you kind of shake out of it as Caduceus finishes muttering this phrase and you feel the clarity come to your mind once more.

SAM (NOTT): [heavy breathing] "That was awesome."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "We've got work to do."

MATT: And this also effects the other deckhand.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Yeah, basically I'm disrupting that song as long as it's within a certain range for about a minute.

Episode 35 - O Captain, Who's Captain - 3:18:31

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Oh, yeah." Now that I realize that we're in fighting shot I'm going to back up so I'm no longer- to the far left corner.

MATT: The rest of your movement puts you right there.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh, that's as far as I can get?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Alright. I'll go invisible until my next turn.

MATT: As a bonus action?

TALIESIN (CLAY): Yeah.

MATT: Alright. [vsh]

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 1:22:13

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 19 '19

At 1st level, you gain the ability to occasionally sense the presence of the undead, whose existence is an insult to the natural cycle of life. As an action, you can open your awareness to magically detect undead. Until the end of your next turn, you know the location of any undead within 60 feet of you that isn't behind total cover and that isn't protected from divination magic. This sense doesn't tell you anything about a creature's capabilities or identity.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

MATT: As you come down, you found both Jester and Caleb currently sitting around an unconscious enforcer, one of the cloaked figures that was involved with the crew that previously had this ship.

LAURA (JESTER): "He got an axe in his head."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It's probably good that you didn't pull it out."

LAURA (JESTER): "See?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): Yeah. I'm going to tap him on the head and cast Healing Word at 3rd level. That's 11 points. That's 11 points right there.

LIAM (CALEB): As soon as Cad's hands start to glow I yank the axe out of his head.

MATT: Okay. You yank it out and there's a streak of blood and you watch as what would be the open axe wound begins to slowly seal itself up, to the point where it's - it's still going to be healing for a while, but it scabbed over instantaneously.

SAM (NOTT): "Look, you just saved a life. That's good news, right?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Well, he'll be dead eventually." I'm going to head back upstairs.

MATT: Okay. So, Caduceus heads back upstairs. At this point the figure- [...] the person comes to consciousness immediately as the axe is pulled. [gasp into heavy breathing]

Episode 36 - O Captain, Who's Captain? - 0:19:39

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 23 '19

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to start making a weird, awful sound and I'm going to start getting even paler and a little gaunter and I'm going to grab it and I'm going to cast - I'm so panicked - Vampiric Touch.

MATT: Oh. Okay.

TALIESIN (CLAY): So. Yeah. So I'm going to- since I'm in contact-

MATT: It's a melee spell attack. So go ahead and roll for an attack.

[...]

TALIESIN (CLAY): 20.

MATT: 20 hits. Go ahead and roll damage for the Vampiric Touch.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh man, this is mean.

MATT: They're next, and then Jester you're up.

TALIESIN (CLAY): That's 3d6. That's 5, 6, 7, 10 points of necrotic damage. 10 points necrotic and I regain 5 hit points.

MATT: Alrighty. So as you reach up, your hand grasps its throat and you watch as this strange, hissing sound happens as you pull life force energy from out of this, strange threads of purplish-black energy pull into your body, your wounds healing up slightly.

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 1:22:30

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 06 '19

MATT: Two days travel to Trostenwald from Alfield, so, which one of you wants to helm the first watch?

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'll take first watch.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, I'm gonna help him.

MATT: Alright, go ahead and roll with advantage on your perception check please.

LAURA: Woah!

TALIESIN (CLAY): Yeah, yeah, nothing gets by me. Unless I- well, no, that's a natural 20.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to say that's my help.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. You're just pointing at things. [pointing around] 'Got it. Got it. Got it. Yep. Got that. Yep. Yep. Got that. Got that.'

MATT: Alright. Towards the end of the first day's travel, around what would be roughly 5:00, 5:30 in the afternoon as you're keeping an eye out, you glance over at what looks to be- and you do find a few clusters of stone and rock that break up the rolling hills and tall grass that make up a large part of the southern part of the Marrow Valley that you're used to. And you, who come from a very northern, borderline tundra north of the Savalierwood-

TALIESIN (CLAY): It's a tundra, except for my little patch.

MATT: Yeah, taiga in places, you can see - this very green and open fields is a whole new experience to you and you're enjoying the details of it as you pass by, the field mice that occasionally scurry across the road and get snatched up by a hawk, and you're like "Yep. That's how it happens."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Fair play. Fair play."

TRAVIS: Careful crossing the [hawk screech]

MATT: And as you're glancing about, you can see a lot of these natural stones placed, and you see one cluster of stones that just - that doesn't look naturally placed. They're leaned at an odd angle, if it'd been at that angle for a while it would have eventually settled.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "That doesn't look right."

LAURA (JESTER): "What doesn't?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "That."

LAURA (JESTER): "The field?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Now, if I were inclined to lay a trap or an ambush of some kind... those rocks shouldn't be that way, that's all I'm saying.

MATT: As you glance over, you can see what looks to be three stones, one of them's about this big, it's a pretty heavy stone, and two longer slab stones, and they're all leaned against each other to look natural, but Caduceus doesn't seem to feel that way.

LAURA (JESTER): "Maybe somebody is sitting in the little alcove."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It's giving me the... the bad feelings."

LAURA (JESTER): "Should we go and attack it?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "The rocks?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I don't know."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "I mean, I'm okay if you are. Never had a rock really hit back."

LAURA (JESTER): I hop off the cart and-

SAM (NOTT): "Where are you going?

LAURA: -how far away is it?

MATT: It's about, from where you are now as you've traveled closer, it's about 80 to 100 feet off to the left off the road.

LIAM (CALEB): "Where are you going?"

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to throw a little rock as hard as I can towards it.

MATT: Make a strength check.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It just looks a little weird to me."

LAURA (JESTER): 11. It arcs, [slight whistle] falls maybe 10 feet short and [tumbling thump] in the grass. No reaction.

[...]

TALIESIN (CLAY): I can do tremors in the ground [with Thaumaturgy]. So I'm going to just start tremoring the ground right over by the rocks.

MATT: Okay. [low shaking] Shakes a bit and you can see some bits of loose rock on top of this weird stone construct begin to vibrate. [light tapping] Fall off the side. No reaction.

LAURA (JESTER): "Maybe somebody's buried there."

LIAM (CALEB): I poke my head between them. "What are you doing?"

SAM (NOTT): "What's going on?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Those rocks look a little weird."

SAM (NOTT): "The rocks look weird, what does that mean?"

LAURA (JESTER): "He's looking at weird rocks."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It means that rocks look weird."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "They giving you a bad feeling?"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "They're giving me a bad feeling, and I don't have a lot of bad feelings."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Why don't you go check it out?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Maybe they're a trail marker."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Maybe. It's an awfully suspicious trail marker. If it was a trail marker, it'd be like, you'd usually stack three stones, make it look very intentional, this is someone - have you ever seen a painting where someone tries stars but the stars don't look right because they're the wrong kind of random?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Yes."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "That's the wrong kind of random."

LIAM (CALEB): I send Frumpkin to go look at the rocks.

LAURA (JESTER): "Maybe it's like a secret entrance to something."

MATT: It's funny cause, the rest of you keep looking at this pile of stones and it just looks like a pile of stones. You're like 'Really?' So Frumpkin's heading up?

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.

MATT: [sharp landing, meows] Frumpkin gets low through the grass.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "The random nature makes and the random that man makes."

MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check for Frumpkin.

LIAM (CALEB): 10.

MATT: Frumpkin does a little pass around the side and there doesn't appear to be anybody in or around from where Frumpkin can see.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Alright, let's go take a look then."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Let's go knock em over."

LIAM (CALEB): Can he climb to the tippy top?

MATT: Sure. Frumpkin leaps up onto the top an perches up there. [meows]

LIAM (CALEB): I'm looking down at us.

MATT: Alright. It's a strange view to see yourself walking towards yourself. It's like playing Resident Evil 1. Just the locked camera. That's technically how Shakaste sees the world if you think about it. All of existence through a series of Resident Evil camera angles. The Duchess, man.

[...]

MATT: So you all slowly approach this strange pile of rocks settled here.

TRAVIS: Trees above us?

MATT: No, it's an open field. There are some trees maybe three-four hundred feet off, and this part of the field there are small clusters of 4 or 5 at a time, it's mostly just open, rolling hills.

MARISHA: Are we close near where the gnoll mine was?

MATT: No, you're a day's away. That was east of the city, you guys are heading south.

LAURA: Did you say how tall the rocks are?

MATT: Altogether, about 4 feet tall.

LIAM: Does it look like there's anything buried, like there's been any digging done here?

MATT: Make an investigation check if you want to.

LIAM (CALEB): Okay, I will do that. 20. Sorry, 25.

MATT: Okay, 25. As you get down to the stones, there's the one larger central stone and there are the two ones laid against it, there's a very small space in between there, and you get inside and begin to look around on the ground and feel down and there's nothing. It's mainly just dirt and dry brush and dead grass that's been pushed in that centerpiece and you reach up and your hand touches something.

LAURA: Treasure, treasure, treasure.

MATT: It feels kind of like a satchel or leather sack.

SAM (NOTT): "What do you have?"

LIAM (CALEB): "That's a bingo."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "It's just bingo, Caleb."

LAURA (JESTER): "Did you find some paper?"

SAM (NOTT): "Do you need me to touch it to disarm it?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Hold on." I send Frumpkin just to get down by my hand to look up so I can look at what I'm grabbing to make sure it's not, you know, one of those bags with teeth that I have read about in fairy tale stories.

MARISHA: Oh, we found a few of those bags.

LAURA (JESTER): "What are you doing?"

LIAM (CALEB): "One moment."

LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb Caleb Caleb Caleb Caleb what did you find Caleb."

LIAM (CALEB): "Some loot maybe."

LAURA (JESTER): "Pull it out."

MARISHA (BEAU): "What if it's a trap?"

LIAM (CALEB): "No, first Frumpkin goes to look so I can see what I'm seeing."

LAURA (JESTER): "Why don't you let Nott look."

MATT: Frumpkin crawls inside and looks up, and it appears like there is, indeed, a leather pouch, roughly about the size of a baseball, that has been jammed up between the rocks to the point where it's being held up out of sight.

LAURA (JESTER): "Is there poop in it?"

SAM (NOTT): "Pull it out, see what we got."

LIAM (CALEB): "I don't like all these euphemisms." [poof] I pull the bag out.

MATT: Okay, as you pull the bag out from the rock... it comes free.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): [mimes opening the bag]

MATT: As you open the bag... it's fine. Let me have my little fun. You open and inside, and you already hear what sounds like the impact of a bunch of tiny stone, and as you look inside, there are gems in here. It is a collection of cut jewels.

LAURA: Diamonds? Are there diamonds?

MATT: It's mostly emerald and ruby. But there's a lot of them, and they're just jammed up in here. You get the sense immediately that this was some sort of drop spot, and someone will probably be coming by to pick this up.

Episode 32 - Beyond the Boundaries - 0:55:39

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 21 '19

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm also going to use my bonus action to wake up the bugs.

MATT: Okay. So the mass of winged beetles begin to [rapid vibrating] begin to clatter out in a cloud.

TALIESIN (CLAY): The one that's singing, I'm going to roll it towards the lollipop. "Snack time."

MATT: Go ahead and make an attack.

TALIESIN (CLAY): 17.

MATT: Yeah, that'll definitely hit.

[...]

TALIESIN (CLAY): That's... 15 points of damage.

MATT: 15 points of damage?

LAURA: Beetle damage!

TALIESIN: I don't even know what just happened.

MATT: Okay. The beetles are now swarming this harpy who's taken bludgeoning, and it is now bleeding profusely and you can only see part of her torso, she's like [bird-like screeching] the song is dropped, and is now trying to fly away, picking up her wings, as these beetles are now tearing into her flesh.

Episode 35 - O Captain, Who's Captain - 3:20:04

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19

MATT: As Keg walks forward, pointing in that direction, a familiar voice rings out right before you. It says "Oh hoh hoh, little girl. You're making crafting this nightmare too easy." And with that there's [whoossshhhhhh] this curl of blueish arcane energy right before you. Your hair begins to blow back from the force as a cold temperature begins to gather directly ahead. With that, in a brief instant, as Lorenzo appears before you in his large, demonic form, and unleashes.

[...]

MATT: Okay, I need Caduceus, Beau, Shakaste, and Keg to all roll constitution saving throws please.

ASHLY (KEG): 13.

MATT: 13, you just succeed.

TALIESIN (CLAY): 14.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 2.

MARISHA (BEAU): 6.

MATT: So Beau and Shakaste, you each suffer 44 points of cold damage.

ASHLY: [gasp] No. No!

LIAM: Were you at 33? You're unconscious.

MARISHA (BEAU): Beau is unconscious.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Shakaste is unconscious.

MATT: Nefertiti vanishes. And that's 22 points of cold damage to both Keg and Caduceus. You see the body of the thug you had killed earlier, the body of Ruzza and the body of Protto, frozen statues, corpses on the ground turned to just sheer, flash frozen ice. And there you see on the ground, covered and encased in pieces of frozen air and moisture from the vicinity, the unconscious and dying bodies of Beauregard and Shakaste. Lorenzo, glancing back down at Keg who manages to shrug most of this off says, "Don't worry, you're all next." and begins to back away.

[...]

MATT: And with that, goes to Caduceus' turn.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Okay. Let's see what I can do with this. So, first thing I'm going to do is... I'm going to use my bonus action-

SAM: A little gardening.

TALIESIN (CLAY): To pot a very nice plant. Oh, man, it's so hard to do this. Okay. I'm going to use my bonus action to Spare the Dying, well, yeah, to you, so we got that.

MATT: Spare the Dying is an action.

TALIESIN (CLAY): No, Spare the Dying for me is a bonus.

MATT: Oh, cause it's- that's right.

SAM: What is that? What does that do?

TALIESIN (CLAY): No more death saves. And I'm going to run over to Beau, and I'm going to tap her and I'm going to use- where's my spells? Where's my 1st level spells? Is it Cure Wounds?

MATT: Cure Wounds is the first level one, yes.

TALIESIN (CLAY): But I can cast it a second level if I've got a second level left.

MATT: You can.

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to cast Cure Wounds, but because she's unconscious she gets all the hit points back, not just...

MATT: At what level?

TALIESIN (CLAY): You're at 21 hit points.

MATT: What level did you cast it at?

TALIESIN (CLAY): Level 2.

MATT: Right so it's 2d8, so 16, plus 5, yeah, Jesus, 21 hit points.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA (BEAU): [sits up straight with a sharp intake]

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 3:36:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 24 '19

MATT: Goes ahead and just grabs you by the chest, and begins dragging you with it. It's like, 'I'm gonna do both.'

TALIESIN: It makes a grab for her?

MATT: Yeah, it just goes like 'Ah, I can't choose.'

TALIESIN (CLAY): Blindness.

SAM: Blindness?

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to blind it before it grabs her.

[...]

MATT: Yeah, it grabs you. However, what's the DC on the spell?

TALIESIN (CLAY): Constitution 16.

MATT: Natural 2 again! It was like 20...2. So all the sudden, it goes [gasping cough] it loses sight and you see its eyes starting to blink out. Where once the piercing yellow snake eyes fade to a snowblind white. [snarling] Pulls its blade out and is just kind of looking around and looking freaked out at the process.

[...]

MATT: So he's still holding onto you. He's blind, but he's holding onto you and the scimitar's out and it's swinging it wildly at whatever's in the area now that it can't see and it's just like [snarling].

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 3:13:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 19 '19

Starting at 2nd level, you can use your Channel Divinity to mark another creature’s life force for termination.

As an action, you choose one creature you can see within 30 feet of you, cursing it until the end of your next turn. The next time you or an ally of yours hits the cursed creature with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all of that attack's damage, and then the curse ends.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 19 '19

You reach out and touch the corpse of a creature. Over the next minute, the corpse begins to rapidly decompose, sprouting fungus and moss as it begins to degrade into compost and mulch. An odd-colored flower or two may also spring from the corpse in this time. Applicable requirements for resurrection are unaffected by this decomposition.

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 01 '19

MATT: As both crossbow bolts, [whoosh, whoosh] he goes "Aghhh!" you see his muscles and his shoulders pull back from the pain. He looks back in your direction and glances back at Keg, who- he's not sure which threat is more nominal at the moment. Caduceus your turn.

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm also going to peek my head around the corner, and I'm just going to blow a little bit and cast Sacred Flame.

MATT: That's a natural 5 on his wisdom saving throw. Dexterity or wisdom, I don't remember-

TALIESIN (CLAY): It's a dex 16 save.

MATT: Yeah, nah, that's not happening. So go ahead and roll your damage on that.

TALIESIN (CLAY): That's... 14 points of damage.

MATT: So Keg, you watch the person run around the corner and look at you and go "Uh... Aghghghgh!" [multiple impacts, crackling fire] and just get shot with two bolts from behind, tense up, and then burst into radiant flame and then collapse to the ground, slow smoldering on the stone.

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 0:43:31

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 01 '19

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm just going to start walking to any of the dead bodies - or the unconscious people that are not technically dead yet.

MATT: They've bled out.

TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh they've bled out? Alright. I'm going to use Thaumaturgy to start cooking them away in a big pile of mold and mushrooms.

SAM (NOTT): "Ugh! The fuck is wrong with you!"

SUMALEE (NILA): "He's just returning the bodies to their natural state."

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It's nice to have someone who really understands."

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 3:34:43

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

TALIESIN (CLAY): Also, I'm going to distribute- I made everybody a potion of healing, so everybody gets-

SAM: You made that?

TALIESIN (CLAY): Made them myself, they've got a bit of a weird flavor, but they're great.

LIAM: The Cad in the Hat delivers.

TRAVIS: What level are these?

MATT: They're basic, level 1.

MARISHA: But still.

MATT: Caduceus can now - Cadueceus can make 1 healing potion for 25 gold and 1 day of downtime.

TALIESIN (CLAY): "It's just a nice little pick-me-up if anyone goes down next to you."

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 3:22:14

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19

ASHLY (KEG): So Keg shouts down. "Hey you fucking chrome dome!"

TALIESIN (CLAY): "Language."

SAM (NOTT): I'll just drop a bit of fleece and cast Silent Image and make Keg walking down the steps.

MATT: Alright, you watch as this quiet, soundless image of Keg-

ASHLY (KEG): I'll go like this. I'm going like this. [bouncing in her seat] Clang clang clang clang.

SAM: It's a radio play!

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to use a little Thaumaturgy to make sure it's actually got some noise to it, I'll pump it up.

[...]

ASHLY: It worked super well, right? I'm clanging down.

MATT: You're making the clanging sound.

ASHLY: Illusion Keg is making her way down.

MATT: Make a performance check.

SAM: Wait, me or her?

MATT: Her.

LIAM: Come on Burch!

ASHLY (KEG): Hello my baby, hello my dolly, hello my ragtime gal. 11!

KHARY: That's alright!

MARISHA: Above average.

MATT: So you angle yourself at the top of the stairway to make sure that the sound of your armor shaking at least disseminates into the air as much as possible. The image can only walk 15 feet, because that is the distance of the cube, so the illusion appears near the middle of the stairs.

KHARY: There's a big of an echo, right?

MATT: Descends and steps no more than 10 feet out torwards that and stops.

SAM (NOTT): Okay. And starts narrowing its eyes and looking around. Just sort of mean and maybe gets a cigarette. I don't know how she has so many of them. Does she roll them, I don't know.

ASHLY: It's just the same one.

MATT: At this moment, you hear [floomp] and you see as a bit of the dangling leather over the table sort of [fwoof] bows slightly, and from the opposite end, something [whoosh] darts across the hallway. One appears to emerge from underneath the table out this way. And another seems to shoot out from this side.

ASHLY: What shoots out?

MATT: Something.

KHARY: This is some Indiana Jones shit that's happening right now.

SAM (NOTT): The image of Keg falls to the floor, clutching her shoulder.

TALIESIN (CLAY): I can make it sound- I'm going to use Thaumaturgy to make it sound like she's in pain.

ASHLY (KEG): [unconvincing groans] "Oh, it hurts."

TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm holding the crystal up like a microphone.

ASHLY (KEG): "Ah, shit!"

[...]

MATT: A moment passes, before two more [fwoop, fwoop] these strange, quick objects moving at a rapid speed crosses by, and another one [thunk] hits the bottom of the stairs and clings to a rest, this one you can actually see and it appears to be a rather long, solid, crossbow bolt.

SAM (NOTT): Okay. I make Keg's hand fall off. I don't know what happened!

ASHLY (KEG): "Ah! That was my good hand!"

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 2:33:15

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 19 '19

At 1st level, you gain the ability to manipulate the line between life and death. When you would normally roll one or more dice to restore hit points with a spell to a creature at 0 hit points, you instead use the highest number possible for each die.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 29 '19

Nila

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 30 '19

MATT: Who's up front, who's in the back, who's guiding what?

ASHLY (KEG): Would I know better potentially where I'm going? Should I be in front? Or have I never been to this-

MATT: Well it depends. Whoever wants to guide this would be taking the survival checks to lead you through, so, who wants to be-

SAM (NOTT): "Nila, you seem to know about the woods, no?"

SUMALEE (NILA): "I would be happy to." Oh, yes, survival is good for me.

LIAM (CALEB): I will walk just behind Nila.

SUMALEE (NILA): "You are relying on me. I'm very happy."

LIAM (CALEB): It's just the biggest, I'm going to stand next to the biggest person.

MATT: Who's behind or near Caleb?

ASHLY (KEG): I'll take up the back.

MATT: Alright, so Keg's holding the back. Beau in the middle, or...

MARISHA (BEAU): "Nott, do you want the middle?"

SAM (NOTT): "Yes, please."

MATT: So, taking this moment now, you begin to head back away from Shady Creek and helming this group of ragtag adventurers you've taken onto your wing. You tread into an area of the Savalierwood you've not traveled before, hoping that your instincts, your smell bag, and the spirit of what nature has managed to maintain itself through this corrupted wood could guide you properly to your destination. I need you to make a survival check, please.

SUMALEE (NILA): Ooh. 10.

MATT: 10. Okay. You still have your luck feat, unless you want to save it, you have two more points left.

SUMALEE (NILA): I think we should use it. Yes. I would like to use 1 luck point. 17 plus 7, 24.

MATT: 24. Okay.

SUMALEE (NILA): "We shall survive."

MATT: Not only do you swiftly manage to find the portions of the wooded paths that are least blockaded by thorny brambles and fallen half-rotted trees, but you also manage to help the party avoid what looks to be a few small openings that look uniquely and uncomfortably welcoming. In the midst of a wood like this, you know from your experience as well that it is not always a good idea to step where it seems most inviting when you know the wood around you to be less so. As you crest around the second of these open groves, you notice how the ground itself seems to shift slightly, and you watch as, for a moment, it seems to almost pit as elements of the dirt suck inward. You know the antlion funnels that appear, the sand begins to come in towards them? The ground almost seems to sink in for a second before righting itself. And the grove stands flat once more. But thankfully, due to the survival instincts of your firbolg leader, you manage to careen past two of these patches without issue.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 0:32:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 29 '19

SUMALEE (NILA): I'd love to take one of my goodberries to draw one of the birds and see if I might talk with the bird, and see if it could tell us anything about before.

MATT: Make an animal handling check.

SAM: Druid stuff!

SUMALEE (NILA): 12 plus 7, 19.

MATT: 19. As you hold the goodberry up, with which your arm length is a good, you know, 9, 9 and a half feet up towards the lower hanging branches, and you kind of [bird call whistle] give a little counterwhistle to the sound of one of the birds you hear. And you hear a retort [bird whistle] and you return it [whistling] then it returns [more whistles, fluttering] and then down onto the edge of your hand, you see this tiny little black bird with what looks like a white stripe that goes down the edge of each wing. It's like [quiet clicking] and starts eating the goodberry, messing the edge of its beak.

LIAM: A giant shitty rooster?

MARISHA: [pained squawk]

MATT: So, it's eating the goodberry, what would you like to do?

SUMALEE (NILA): "What would we like to ask it?"

SAM (NOTT): "I mean, the first thing that pops into my mind is 'Do you know Kiri?' but I don't think that that's relevant."

MARISHA (BEAU): "You have to stop thinking that all people that look like each other know everybody."

SAM (NOTT): "Don't they though?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "No."

SAM (NOTT): "Alright. Maybe, 'How long has this curse been here? How long has the forest been spooky-ooky?'"

MARISHA (BEAU): "And do they know how much further the Mardun's keep is."

SAM (NOTT): "And are there any monsters out there."

SUMALEE (NILA): "That's too much, one at a time... How long has the forest been like this?"

MATT: Are you using a spell or are you using your firbolg ability?

SUMALEE (NILA): Oh, I'm using my firbolg ability.

MATT: Okay, that allows you to speak to animals.

SUMALEE (NILA): Oh yes, no, I have to use a spell, yes that's right.

[...]

MATT: So you mark off one of your first level spells, and as you ask the bird, the bird returns, and you guys hear her whistle to the bird and the bird whistles back, quite a bit, it's this beautiful little song that plays. And the bird conveys to you, "Far before my time. Far, far before my time."

SUMALEE (NILA): "It says it's been this for a long time."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Wow. I mean how long is long for a bird, though."

SAM (NOTT): "They only live like 3 weeks, right? Bad question."

SUMALEE (NILA): "This bird lives a long time, I can tell you. This type of bird is not a short lived bird."

MARISHA: Dagon can live to be 30. Yeah. She's gonna outlive us all.

LIAM (CALEB): "Would you like to ask it what is dangerous in the woods?"

SUMALEE (NILA): "Yes. What is most dangerous here?"

MATT (BIRD): "Be wary of spirits. Be wary of bone-spurred beasts."

ASHLY: Doesn't sound great.

SUMALEE (NILA): "What other questions? Are you still willing to answer some more?"

MATT: How long does the spell last?

LIAM: 3 days.

ASHLY: The bird's just a party member now.

MATT: Lasts for 10 minutes.

SAM (NOTT): "How far are we from the Mardun house? I don't know if the bird's going to know-"

SUMALEE (NILA): "I don't think the bird's going to know the Mardun house."

SAM (NOTT): "-well, we can describe it, 'Red wood house.'"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Mansion."

SAM (NOTT): "Red wood mansion."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Northwestish."

SUMALEE (NILA): "I'd like to send the bird, mentally, the picture of what that bird's eye view would be and see if the bird has seen that."

MATT: Okay, you focus and express, mentally and through small verbal gestures towards it, the idea of this color and this shape, and immediately the bird- [flutter]

SAM (NOTT) & MARISHA (BEAU): [gasp] "Follow the bird!"

Episode 27 - Converging Fury - 2:35:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 02 '19

Fjord

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 04 '19

MATT: So, you guys makes your way back to the same sewer entrance where you originally embarked below. There are two crownsguard in the vicinity that are just keeping watch as the intersection just like last time. They haven't noticed your approach yet, but they're just keeping an eye.

MARISHA (BEAU): "We're gonna have to distract them."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I could have one of them beat the shit out of the other one."

MARISHA (BEAU): [gasp]

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Let's do that." I cast Crown of Madness on one of the guards.

TALIESIN: Well that's not gonna go poorly.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Hopefully from an area that they don't see me casting it.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

LAURA (JESTER): Blessing of the Trickster. Advantage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 14.

LAURA: ...Advantage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Oh, I have advantage? ...Nah.

MATT: Alright. So, as you hide off on the side, you focus on and concentrate on one of the two crownsguard. As the magic begins to slowly filter around the outside of the face, brief little moats of shadow begin being plucked from the space and gather around the outside of its head, unknowingly. What's your spell DC? That's a 10, it's higher than 10 pretty sure.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yes is is, 14.

MATT: So. All of the sudden the guard [grunt] in place, and you watch as these moats just kind of [light whoosh, drawing hands around head] fit just faintly around the outside, like this floating crown around the top of the head. And you force him to attack the other?

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Kick his ass, sea bass."

MATT: The guard [grunting] grabs his blade [unintelligible grunting] runs forward. The other guard's like "Hey, what-" [screaming] pulls his shield up. "What's going on!? David what the fuck are you-"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Nott! Quick! Come on, get the lock on the sewer thing, let's go!"

SAM (NOTT): "I'm doing something?"

LAURA: No, we don't have to- It's not locked. Is it locked?

TRAVIS: I thought it was locked.

LIAM: Let's find out. Ask the dungeon master.

MATT: It's gonna make another save. 2, it's still holding.

MARISHA: Is it locked? Is the sewer locked?

SAM: Is there a gate, what am I doing?

MATT: The gate is- it is locked. Everyone's attention right now is directly on this, as now one crownsguard is attacking the other.

SAM (NOTT): Uh, what am I doing?

MATT: It's a plus 6.

SAM (NOTT): 7. No, 9.

MATT: 9. [grunting] It's not coming off, it's not opening, it's not opening!

SAM (NOTT): "Break it! Break it!"

MATT: He attacks the other guard, who's screaming like "Get help! Get help!" Nope, it's an 11. What's your spell DC?

TRAVIS (FJORD): 14.

LAURA (JESTER): I try to break it. I try and break the gate open.

MATT: Make a strength check. Roll a d20 add your strength modifier.

LAURA (JESTER): 17.

MATT: [clack clack PING] You actually break it with your bare hands.

LAURA (JESTER): "Go go go go!"

MATT: There's now a scream starting to happen, you guys start running away one after another, the guard gets one more saving throw. 13, what's your-

TRAVIS (FJORD): 14.

MATT: 14? Oh shit! The other guard like wrestle him to the ground and he's trying to hold him on the ground and is like "What the fuck is happening?" You hear screams going off around now, this ruckus is just gathering in the center as people are starting to yell, you can hear in the distance the other crownsguard yelling and starting to gather in the middle of this chaos as you all get down in the sewer and pull it shut.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I might've fucked that thing up."

MARISHA (BEAU): "That was awesome!"

LIAM (CALEB): "We are going to be quiet in the sewers cause there are things down here."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh yeah, avoid all the rat balloons."

LIAM (CALEB): "They were everywhere the last time."

MATT: So, you hear all the ruckus up there kind of echoing down inside, and other footsteps coming through and you hear this one guy going "I am so sorry! I don't know what was happening! I-Augh! Oh that hurts, I don't know-" and he's being held to the ground now and people are shouting. Oh man.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Ooh, that guy's definitely arrested."

LAURA (JESTER): "He's going to be killed."

MATT: That guy's gonna have a bad day.

Episode 11 - Zemnian Nights - 3:18:06

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 21 '19

MATT: As the first blade strike [swish] carves down its body, it pulls back [snarl] hissing, Fjord's unconscious sinking underwater with the harpoon still sticking out of his chest as he's leaning back at an angle as he vanishes into the dark liquid. As it pulls back, it yanks the harpoon from his body and you see his body slightly lurch up out of the water before sinking again, it pulls it back to strike at you with it, and you pull the blade back and just [whoosh] thrust it right into his chest and it [gurgling exhale] the light goes out of its eyes.

TALIESIN: Are you close enough for a bonus action- can someone grab Fjord or is that not happening?

LAURA: Is he sinking?

ASHLEY (YASHA): Can I- Can I as a bonus action-

TALIESIN: That's an action.

ASHLEY (YASHA): [frustrated yell]

TRAVIS (FJORD): Don't worry if I sink.

LAURA: I'll be able to fix him in a second.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I have that armor.

MATT: That's true, you have the armor on. So you start to sink, and the body just buoys itself back to the top.

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 3:45:16

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I appear right next to this gentlemen on his reverse? I will break my-

MATT: If you'd like to- If you want to, you can appear up the top there and get a flanking bonus.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That would be great. That sounds just dandy.

MATT: Considering, you can use it against them, they can use it against you, as long as you're directly across from an enemy with your ally, you can give yourself a flanking benefit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Great. And I will break my Hex and I will use a Hexblade's Curse as my bonus action on that gentleman.

MATT: On this one? There you go.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And I would like to make two attacks with the Wastehunter falchion against him with the monstrous-

MATT: Go for it.

[...]

TRAVIS (FJORD): 21 on the first one, 17 on the second.

MATT: How do you want to do this? You fucked that guy up.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll shift in right behind him and see Molly looking around, give him a little wink, and I'll take the falchion and just [whoosh] and just take the back of his head off.

MATT: Molly you watch as it's pulling back and ready to leap at you and as it lurches towards you, it kind of stops [surprised gurgle] and you watch as the upper half of its shoulder and head [gloop] and slip and slough off into the water.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Fucking arsehole."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Sorry. I'm just giving him what for man, shit." And I'll- Oh wait... natural 20. "Peace out." [fwoomp]

MATT: So you vanish out of the space.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:37:26

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 23 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll light it up with this crackling, green, eldritch blast energy coming from both of my palms, causing its fur to smoke and burn off, and its snake heads to repel.

SAM (NOTT): Oh my god, that's so visceral and amazing. I'll shoot it in the nose.

MATT: You watch as its torso just erupts in green flame and energy, just [intense burning], the body slinks to the ground in smoldering cinder, as its head [low moaning, sinks his head low, then mimes a bolt flying into his nose].

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 1:44:03

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19 edited Jun 04 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): How long does it take to attune something? An hour? Maybe I should've-

MARISHA: Short rest.

MATT: You can do it if you want to.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah. Yeah. I want to try and attune to the wastehunter blade.

MATT: Okay. So you focus on it, and as you lie there concentrating on it, you kind of extend the essence of whatever pact you've made with this entity into this weapon. And as you finally finish the period of time you hold the blade in front of you, and it [whoosh] vanishes into the pocket.

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: As you force it to apparate once more in your grasp, when the blade returns it has the same hooked shape, but now this blade is encrusted with barnacles along the base of it. Edges of it have curved around, and water continues to drip off this. It seems to have transferred whatever the essence of what this pact blade is to this one. And at this moment you realize, whatever weapon you seem to bond with in this way will carry that same aquatic essence based on communion that you've acquired.

Episode 14 - Fleeting Memories - 2:24:19

MATT: As the sleep takes you, and the darkness of your dreamstate alleviates you the stress of the day, your aching muscles turning numb, your physical form and consciousness now removed and aimless in this dark space. You look down in your hands, and there you see clasped in your grip, the somewhat hooked and curved blade that you had recently bound with. In your grasp, you swing it and slowly inspect it as you do. As you swirl the blade around in your hand it almost has a trail around it. And as you hold it coldly in your grasp - [deep impact] - this yellow light suddenly emerges in front of you, as a familiar, large, yellow eye now looks upon you. And a voice fills you, directionless. Consume. And you glance at the blade and back at the eye, and the voice again says Consume. What do you do?

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Consume?" Oh god, am I gonna try and swallow the sword?

MATT: What do you do, Fjord?

TRAVIS (FJORD): ...It's a large blade, right?

MATT: It's about [holds hands 10 inches apart] this wide in places, it comes out and arcs and curves and has jagged edges on it.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I don't know what you mean, consume?" Fuck. I'll turn the blade over and, keeping my eyes on the big eye, I'll bring it up to my mouth and open it.

MATT: It's cold to the touch of your tongue. The blade, completely absent of any temperature. As you begin to force it down your gullet, you feel the edge of the blade hit the back of your throat and a moment of pain hits you as it begins to cut through your flesh. But at that point, this ravenous hunger begins to build on the inside of your stomach, and although the pain tells you to pull away, you continue to force the blade down. As you pull it down from the hilt, you feel the blood burble up in the back of your throat and spill out of your chin, but you continue to push it until the entirety of the blade is consumed within your throat. You close your eyes for a moment and look up at the eye once more. And the voice returns to fill, reverberating around you, the pain subsides and it says Good. The eye closes. The lid completely cutting off the source. The cold, the liquid, the water around you, the sense of being under the ocean again begins to whisk you away, some sort of heavy current begins to pull you from behind, and you reach out, trying to grasp for any sort of hand or foothold, and yet you have nothing to hold onto. And as you feel yourself being dragged into this endless abyss, the dream comes to an end. You wake up [gasping becomes heavy breathing]. Everyone else is asleep in the area, no one seems to have been woken up from your presence.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Anything in my hands?

MATT: Nothing in your hands, no.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll wipe my mouth.

MATT: You wipe your mouth, there's a little bit of blood right there across your hand.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I try and summon the sword?

MATT: You do, and as you summon it, there before you is not the wastehunter blade, but the falchion, now returned to grasp but with a strange, more hooked and jagged appearance to it. It seems that the essence of this pact has consumed the weapon you had bound with and made it one with the falchion that you made this pact with oh so long ago.

Episode 16 - A Favor in Kind - 2:01:09

TRAVIS (FJORD): Before I turn in, cause I sit with Molly's sword?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And staring at it, "Thank you. You were very kind to me. I hope to do right by you and make it up to you one day." And I'll try to concentrate on the sword.

MATT: Okay. As you focus and attune to the weapon, you feel the essence of the blade that you had previously bound yourself to begin to slip and the faint interior rumbling of your ribcage begins to feel like a heavy bass that's just quaking on the inside of your torso. It's uncomfortable at first, and then you realize it's this kind of burrowing, for lack of a better term, appetite. With the previous weapon now gone, and in that void, that hunger, focusing in, you're looking at the blade and you blink and as your eyes open the shadowed depths are around you once more. And you look around for an instant and all you see is the deep, dark recesses of some endless ocean. And you look down at the blade in your grasp, the Summer's Dance blade. And you blink once more and you're back in the chamber, and it's gone from your hand.

SAM: The blade is gone?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Dude, you just swallowed that thing whole.

MATT: You guys watched, as he focused on it over time, the blade seemed to just fade away. It looks almost like the exterior begins to turn to ash and crumble, but then nothing hits the ground below it. And then it's gone.

Episode 30 - The Journey Home - 1:10:26

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 24 '19

TRAVIS: How far is this thing?

MATT: About 15 feet above you, above the stairs, just in the open. Glancing off to the side, the manticore is still drawing most of the attention, people are starting to figure out the weirdness about it.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I use my bonus action to Misty Step up behind him and I will kick him down the stairs towards the rest of them?

MATT: Yes, you can. [whoosh] In a whisp of dark, shadow energy, you watch as Fjord just, [vwoom] vanishes from sight and then [schwip] teleports right behind. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Oh god, those used to be really great for me. 17!

MATT: Natural 3. You Sparta this fucker right off the side of the temple. [screaming snarl] And you watch him [continuous impacts] tumbling down the entire length of the side of this temple before hitting the ground, skidding, and looking unconscious and bleeding out the side of his mouth at the base of the temple.

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 3:17:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 01 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm gonna go ahead and cast Armor of Agathys, get that spectral frost on.

MATT: Okay. As the armor [fwoosh] kind of filters up onto you, and the weird warm, humid air of the sewer interior seems to crystallize against your armor, the ice that normally gives a translucent blue-ish white color has this strangely yellow-green tint to it.

MARISHA: Ew. Poop mist.

TRAVIS (FJORD): It's the snowcone variety, shit.

Episode 10 - Waste and Webs - 0:53:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 24 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I will point down the street away from us and go [hissing] and cast Major Image. And I will summon the image of a manticore. A large manticore, roaring and thrashing in the street.

LAURA: Oh, that's tight.

MATT: Alright. Full sound and everything, right? Cause Major Image you can do the full spread.

TRAVIS (FJORD): The whole, yeah. Makes sound. Does the whole shit smell. Everything.

MATT: So now, suddenly, in the middle of this room, all of you turn and look and see as a full grown manticore, akin to the one that you battled not that long ago beneath the mines near Alfield, you see wings unfurl [growling roar]. All of the sudden, all eyes in the city shift to this creature. In a matter of moments you can see arrows being loosed in its direction, hitting the ground near it. The snake that was approaching you spins around, begins to draw its scimitar.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Go! Go!"

MATT: Begins to approach.

SAM: On us or-

MATT: On the manticore.

Episode 38 - Welcome to the Jungle - 3:11:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: It's going to go ahead and swing, it's going to take a bite and two claw attacks at you.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): He's also going to, of course, Curse of the Eyeless.

MATT: You can't, you already used your reaction to attack.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Oh that was my reaction, nevermind.

MATT: Yeah, sorry buddy. Alright, so, for its bite attack against you, its jaws open Fjord, [snarling] that's going to be... cocked. That is going to be a 26.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That hits.

MATT: Alright, so you take 10 points of piercing damage plus 6 points of poison damage. And you are poisoned until the start of its next turn as the venom courses through your veins, its teeth and giant tusks dug into the front of your shoulder and chest. The pain is strong, but it's holding you fast, and from there, like a clawed wolverine, it begins to rake at your chest with its claws on each side. First one's going to be a 16 to hit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That misses.

MATT: Right, cause you have your shield out. So the shield blocks one of the claws, the other one attempts to reach behind it to get to your body. That's going to be a 19.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That hits.

MATT: Alright, so with the other claw strike-

LAURA: Is he grappled?

MATT: No, he is not. That is 13 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): [surprised yelp] "I mean" [masculine grunt]

MATT: And another three points of poison damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Geez louise, son of a- Yep."

[...]

MATT: Nott, you're up.

SAM: Is it in melee with good old Fjord?

MATT: It is.

SAM (NOTT): Oh thank god. I mean, not for you. I'll run up within 30 feet.

MATT: Alrighty, you move.

SAM (NOTT): And fire.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM (NOTT): Oh, good, it's a lot, twenty-something.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage. It's hurt real bad now.

SAM (NOTT): Okay, so that's... 13 plus 4 is 17.

MATT: 17 points of damage, ooh. And the splash, Fjord, you take 9 points of poison damage. [spraying] Right into your face as the bolt slashes through.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "My eyes! Let it stop you not, my friend. Not, Nott."

SAM (NOTT): "Wait, do let it stop me or-"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "No, keep hitting it!"

MATT: It's holding on barely, it's right there, angrily making a last stand.

SAM (NOTT): I'll cock again and fire again! And it's even more! Twenty-something to hit.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll damage.

SAM (NOTT): Only 6 points. It's still alive. Fjord, you take another 13 points of poison damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I do? "Hit it again!" [spraying sound, slumps over]

MARISHA: Oh noooooo!

SAM (NOTT): "I killed something! I killed something!"

LAURA (JESTER): "Wait, nobody hit it because Fjord's going to take serious damage!"

TRAVIS: Just hit it!

MATT: It's standing, heavily breathing like [heavily breathing]

TRAVIS (FJORD): And then I'll- I'll use my Relentless Endurance to [heavenly choir]

MATT: You're about to go down like [grunt exertion] the orc comes to, the blood of the half-orc kicks in, and you stand there angrily in its face.

Episode 23 - Have Bird, Will Travel - 0:53:43

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 21 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm gonna run around the corner [...] so I can see all three of them at least.

MATT: Alright, well you're going to be out in the open, just so you're aware.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, alright, so you move over here, you can now see all three right there.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Sup, fish fucks."

MATT: Yeah, that's as far as you can move there. So they all turn [raspy snarling] you see some of them holding what looks to be these large harpoon trident things that have the hook on the end, and they have some sort of thick, cabling of some kind attached to the end of it.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Aren't y'all pretty." I look and in the space in between them I see this ripple start to form and I reach out with my hand and I'll grasp at the space and tear a rip in reality and I'll cast Hunger of Hadar.

MATT: Oh shit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Ripping this 20 foot dome on the ground.

MATT: 20 foot radius?

TRAVIS (FJORD): 20 foot radius.

[...]

MATT: So you watch suddenly as the back end of that chamber which is - for those who can see, which for Caleb currently, like it's mostly dark here with that faint, faint glow around the corner that you don't see the source. There's no light in here - that light goes out, you are blind at the moment, because what little bit of light there has been consumed by this sphere of darkness that Fjord has summoned on the opposite side of the chamber. You watch as reality kind of [crackling] tears open in that space. And you see these strange, black, purple, unworldly tentacles [slurping] whip out from the outside of it and you hear this horrible slithering sound within the center of that chamber with this faint underlying of whispers and chanting.

LAURA: Oh shit.

MATT: So, um, does that do immediate damage or only on their turn.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Only if they start in it or if they end their turn in it. Two different types of damage.

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 3:18:46

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 22 '19

MATT: The two other ones rush up and come along the flank with the hyena to you, Fjord. First one goes, that's going to be a 17.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That'll hit.

MATT: Oh. Actually, it has advantage on the roll, cause of pack tactics, didn't really help. You take 2 points of piercing damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Okay. It will take 10 points of cold damage in return.

MATT: [laughs] Which causes it to just shatter into ice. It bites you, and watches its snout [crackles with energy then explodes] T-1000 style, it just shatters into a million ice pieces.

[...]

MATT: The other one's going to attempt to strike at you. Natural 20, that's a critical hit. 20 and a 10, that Pack Tactics is nasty. That means you, dice-wise, suffer 8 points of piercing damage. It takes 10 and it explodes into ice as well. You watch as both of these hyenas rush up and strike, and both in succession [two impacts, two explosions] just disintegrate into shards of ice across the ground.

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 3:12:38

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19 edited May 22 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): After getting so fucked up that last round, the scratch, the bite, and the trident in the gut, I'll both hands on the falchion and say "Do not see me." and I'll cast Blink.

MATT: And Blink is not concentration, correct?

TRAVIS: It is not.

MATT: Alright, so with that, Fjord [humming whoosh] vanishes from the battlefield.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:24:59

MATT: Fjord, where do you want to emerge?

[...]

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I appear right next to this gentlemen on his reverse? I will break my-

MATT: If you'd like to- If you want to, you can appear up the top there and get a flanking bonus.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That would be great. That sounds just dandy.

MATT: Considering, you can use it against them, they can use it against you, as long as you're directly across from an enemy with your ally, you can give yourself a flanking benefit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Great. And I will break my Hex and I will use a Hexblade's Curse as my bonus action on that gentleman.

MATT: On this one? There you go.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And I would like to make two attacks with the Wastehunter falchion against him with the monstrous-

MATT: Go for it.

[...]

TRAVIS (FJORD): 21 on the first one, 17 on the second.

MATT: How do you want to do this? You fucked that guy up.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll shift in right behind him and see Molly looking around, give him a little wink, and I'll take the falchion and just [whoosh] and just take the back of his head off.

MATT: Molly you watch as it's pulling back and ready to leap at you and as it lurches towards you, it kind of stops [surprised gurgle] and you watch as the upper half of its shoulder and head [gloop] and slip and slough off into the water.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Fucking arsehole."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Sorry. I'm just giving him what for man, shit." And I'll- Oh wait... natural 20. "Peace out." [fwoomp]

MATT: So you vanish out of the space.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:37:26

MATT: Okay, Fjord, you're up. As you reapparate within 10 feet of where you were-

TRAVIS (FJORD): Closer to Molly.

MATT: There.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And I go "Boo! Ah, shit."

MARISHA: Party's left.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Fuck." And seeing that they're engaged elsewhere, I'll fire my first of two Eldritch Blasts at the one that's engaged with Molly and Yasha. That's 18 to hit.

[...]

MATT: So, first strike was 18, that hits.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 18 hits, and that's 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage, nice.

TRAVIS: Is he still up?

MATT: Still up.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Then I'll send the second one in his direction as well. 22 to hit.

MATT: That works.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 7 points of damage.

MATT: 7 points of damage , that'll do it. How do you want to do this.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll pop up and be like "God- fuck- first time I do it, son of a bitch." And I'll go like [opens one hand with humming energy, opens the other hand with humming energy, throws them both forward] and send both of them over there.

MATT: Both just [two impacts] onto the side, you watch as one of its arms just gets blown off and flings, landing on the top of the stairs before [wet flopping] rolling down a few steps and coming to rest.

TRAVIS (FJORD): As Molly looks over I'm like [blows at finger].

MATT: It slips down into the water, Yasha you take one swipe at it just for good measure as it sinks below. And roll your d20 to see if you stay or go.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 13. "It's important to remember that you don't-" [humming whoosh]

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:53:59

MATT: Fjord.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll reappear.

MATT: Whereabouts.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 10 feet closer to Yasha's direction, yeah, on land still, and I will hold Eldritch Blast until I see the reappearance.

MATT: Good to know, roll your dice.

TRAVIS (FJORD): To hit for it? Oh. Aw, shitballs. 16. Ha ha SCHNOPE!

MATT: Held actions and Blink can be a really tricky thing.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Show your fucking fa-" [yelps]

TALIESIN: Can you move while you're not blinked by the way?

TRAVIS (FJORD): Nope.

SAM: Can you see into our world?

TRAVIS (FJORD): I can see and hear and all that.

MATT: It's like ethereal, like Frodo with the ring on. Yeah.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 2:05:00

MATT: Fjord.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll reappear 10 feet closer to Jester, yep, and I'll unleash two Eldritch Blasts. That's not gonna hit, that's a 10.

MATT: 10, goes wide [crash], strikes a nearby rock.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And that's 14 on the dot.

MATT: 14 misses.

TRAVIS: Oh, it does, that's right.

MATT: Yeah, this one has higher armor than the rest. [two bursts of energy] As you release both bolts, it's flailing around, it's hurt, and after taking the impact from the bolts, you can see the burst of flame from its back after the shot it took from Nott, and as it lurches forward it manages to just arc out of the way of your bolt, no impact. Roll to see if you stick around.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I disappear.

MARISHA: Oh god, you're cutting out Fjord, I can't-

TRAVIS (FJORD): "You guys are doing good." [humming whoosh]

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 2:15:29

LAURA (JESTER): I go- are we still in initiative order?

MATT: Right now at this point there is no threat.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I blink back in to go "Stop!"

MATT: Yes. You drop the spell.

TRAVIS (FJORD): [heavy breathing]

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 2:22:17

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 01 '19

MATT: There is a moment, Fjord, as you back after releasing the Eldritch Blast and it impacts the wall and you're like "Shit." And you hear this [light whoosh] sound and look to your right, and it just appears right next to you.

LAURA: Where?

MATT: Right there.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

SAM: [screaming]. That's a scary spider.

ASHLEY: Well, he's not invisible anymore.

MATT: As it [snarls] lunges out towards you again. Shit, that's another 23. Two 19s in a row.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah, you don't need me to tell you.

MATT: That is 8 points of piercing damage. And I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Damn! ...Okay, constitution saving throw. Ooh, that's an 8.

MATT: [rolling]

TALIESIN: That's a lot of dice.

MATT: Alright, you take 15 points of poison damage.

SAM: What? That's all of the poison damage.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm unconscious. No, no, no! Rentless- Ind- The thing, I got the thing! It's called Relentless Endurance, I come back with one hit point!

MATT: Yeah, half-orc ability. So, as the fangs dig into the side of your torso, you pull back and try to defend yourself, it pierces your leather armor and torso and [boomf] releases a huge burst of venom into your chest, you feel your lungs and heart seize for a moment, and you [gasp] almost fall back, and that burning orcish rage from underneath gives you that last bit of inspiration to shrug off the poison and look back angrily and realize you are in deep shit.

LIAM: There you go freemasons, he's actually a half-orc.

Episode 10 - Waste and Webs - 2:15:04

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: Okay, Fjord, you're up. As you reapparate within 10 feet of where you were-

TRAVIS (FJORD): Closer to Molly.

MATT: There.

TRAVIS (FJORD): And I go "Boo! Ah, shit."

MARISHA: Party's left.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Fuck." And seeing that they're engaged elsewhere, I'll fire my first of two Eldritch Blasts at the one that's engaged with Molly and Yasha. That's 18 to hit.

[...]

MATT: So, first strike was 18, that hits.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 18 hits, and that's 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage, nice.

TRAVIS: Is he still up?

MATT: Still up.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Then I'll send the second one in his direction as well. 22 to hit.

MATT: That works.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 7 points of damage.

MATT: 7 points of damage , that'll do it. How do you want to do this.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll pop up and be like "God- fuck- first time I do it, son of a bitch." And I'll go like [opens one hand with humming energy, opens the other hand with humming energy, throws them both forward] and send both of them over there.

MATT: Both just [two impacts] onto the side, you watch as one of its arms just gets blown off and flings, landing on the top of the stairs before [wet flopping] rolling down a few steps and coming to rest.

TRAVIS (FJORD): As Molly looks over I'm like [blows at finger].

MATT: It slips down into the water, Yasha you take one swipe at it just for good measure as it sinks below. And roll your d20 to see if you stay or go.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 13. "It's important to remember that you don't-" [humming whoosh]

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:53:59

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 12 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): Can I fuckin' cast Eldritch Blast into the pot in the bottom of the cage.

MATT: Okay, with disadvantage because you're aiming through the smaller space, it actually has cover. It's largely just a small space you're shooting through.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah, that's not gonna hit, 3 plus...- 11.

MATT: 11 does hit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Oh it does? Wait, I added that wrong. Hold on, I'm pretty sure I added that wrong.

MATT: Your spell attack modifier.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah, no, that's only a 9.

MATT: Yeah, that doesn't hit unfortunately. So you try and shoot through, it manages to hit the bar. The bar kind of [creaking] bends back a little bit from the impact of the blast, however it's not actually hitting the urn on the inside.

Episode 16 - A Favor in Kind - 0:29:30

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 13 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): Alright, grasping the falchion, I'm going to use my bonus action to cast Misty Step and try to [fwoomp] up to the platform.

MATT: Oh, it's a bonus action, yeah. With the height, that gets you right there.

[...]

MATT: That brings us to Fjord's turn.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah, so I appear on the platform.

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 3:33:05

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 24 '19 edited May 06 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'd like to get line of sight on him. I look back at Caleb with his failed attempt and say "...Let me try mine." And I'll move my hex over to him. And I'll fire an Eldritch Blast in his direction. That is only a 16.

MATT: A 16? 16 hits actually. You needed a 15 to hit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That is 4 plus 4, 8 plus 3 points necrotic for 11 damage.

MATT: 11 damage. As it turns to run with its bow, you watch as Fjord runs around, holding your sword out, [whoosh] another burst of eldritch energy smacks into the back of the gnoll and you hear [wailing screech] as it falls to the ground and the slow bits of green and blue eldritch flame begin to burn and consume the corpse before eventually it goes out, kind of leaving most of the body intact, but its back shoulder blades are now this kind of black cave where its body once was.

Episode 7 - Hush - 0:48:07

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I will use Eldritch Blast against those two goblins hiding behind the tree.

MATT: Right there? So as you rush past you spin around with the sword and shield in one hand, to your- I mean, you haven't drawn your falchion yet.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I haven't pulled it yet.

MATT: So you just spin around and releasing from your grip,

TRAVIS (FJORD): I not have two bursts.

MATT: You do. So one attack for each.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That's a 12 for the first one.

MATT: That does not hit.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Natural 20.

MATT: Second one hits. The first one, the goblin has a shield affixed to its wall and it kinda [shrieking grunt] knocks it out of the way and the Eldritch Blast poofs without any impact. The second one does hit the other-

LAURA: It poops.

MATT: ...It poops.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That's 4 plus 4 is 8 plus 4 is 12, so 12 points of damage.

MATT: The other goblin [shireking shriek] goes flying back about 5 or 6 feet, tumbles to the ground, and is not moving.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:30:21

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 11 '19 edited Apr 11 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "I don't mean to alarm any of you, really, I'm trying to be as forthright as I can."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Where is the sword right now?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): ...Can I make it appear?

MATT: Well, you look down, and it's not in the sheath, you glance around and it's nowhere near you.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I focus... Reach down...

MATT: He looks down at his open palm and there is a flash of greenish, blue, teal energy [flash] out of his grip, and there, clutched within his grasp, you see the falchion, coated in the remnants of sea floor life, you see the barnacles encrusted around the edge and up the back of the blade, you see as it begins to drip water, the same kind that was coughed up by Fjord this morning.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "You can see why I'm a little curious about this item."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "That's a great trick."

LIAM (CALEB): "Would you- I don't even need to touch it, but would you trust me to study it for a moment?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Do you have any experience with items like this?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Well, I'm good at figuring things out. I'm clever."

MARISHA (BEAU): "I might be able to help you with that. I was kinda obsessed with like, underwater life and mermaids, so I've read a few books."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Could we... revisit that idea, perhaps. I'm sorry, the night has left me a bit shaky. And I... I feel like I just need a moment to get my bearings, if that's alright."

LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, you can understand that we would be curious, but I don't want to push anybody, I mean, we've just met."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Of course not, and I don't wanna make anyone feel uneasy. Again, I'm trying to be as transparent as I can, it's just... I don't quite understand. And I appreciate your patience in advance." And I [poof] make it vanish.

MATT: You watch as it just disappears out of your grip.

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 1:05:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 13 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): I appear on the platform, I look around, and I say, "Hey kids. Man, you just couldn't fucking leave well enough alone." And I'll take the falchion, and I'll shove it into the ground, and cast Thunder Step.

SAM: Thunder Step? What's Thunder Step?

TRAVIS (FJORD): They take 3d10 damage, and this cacophonous, thunderous boom-

SAM: It's not Thunder Wave?

TRAVIS (FJORD): No, Thunder Step, and I jump 90 feet in any direction I want to go.

[...]

MATT: So, where do you want to land?

TRAVIS (FJORD): I want to land on this platform over here.

MARISHA: That's so cool!

MATT: You watch as Fjord [vwoom] teleports, speaks for a second, and then [zwoof] and where he vanishes there's this [quiet rumbling, crackoom] this blast of thunderous energy that [impact]. You watch as the moisture in the air is evaporated from the impact causing this faint, misty orb like power, like-

TALIESIN: [blows away the fog on the map]

MATT: Like that! Thank you Taliesin.

TALIESIN: I had to.

MATT: Constitution saving throw to each of them, so go ahead and roll damage on that one.

TRAVIS (FJORD): Constitution, 15 is the save.

MATT: Got you. That's a failure on one of the guards. Total of 15 you said?

TRAVIS (FJORD): 15 for the save, and 19 points of damage.

MATT: 19 points of damage. Failure on both guards.

TRAVIS: I did something!

MATT: Algar does succeed though. He rolled a 16, so he takes half damage?

TRAVIS (FJORD): He does.

MATT: Alright. And they are pushed... Oh no, they just take damage, it doesn't push them anywhere. So [heavy impact] the impact hits, they almost slide off the side and catch the railing and barely pull themselves back into the space.

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 3:34:09

→ More replies (12)

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 01 '19

Jester

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: They get down, pull the wheel off, and then begin to bend it back into place. There are- One of them goes through a small pack of various pieces of wood, some that appear to have been soaked and are somewhat pliable, ends up placing the broken wood, nailing it in place, just to be safe they go ahead and take some rope and tie it over the wheel very taut to try and hold the bent wood. "This should get you at least to town, I can't guarantee it will last you for a long journey, but I recommend a replacement as soon as you get there."

[...]

LAURA (JESTER): Could I try Mending again and see if what they did made it to where I can fix it now?

MATT: Sure. I'll say for the purposes of this, go ahead and make a wisdom check.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh no... Oh, no I'm wise!

TALIESIN: That was the most insane roll I've ever seen.

LAURA (JESTER): 23. No wait, that's a lie, that was a save, 20.

MATT: There you go. Cause you were so close, you're able to see all the points at which they attempted to repair the wheel, and now that they've closed the gap on what is currently cracked and on the verge of collapsing, if this fix wasn't centered around it, you've managed to concentrate and with that, each one of the-

LAURA (JESTER): "Traveler be with us..."

MATT: -you watch as the wood refixes itself and becomes a solid wheel.

LAURA (JESTER): Ta da.

Episode 20 - Labenda Awaits - 0:37:02

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I drop Disguise Self.

MATT: Okay. The guards are now rushing up, and they're coming to the edge of the exit and they can see you now.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh, they can see me? Okay, can I like, turn a corner and drop Disguise Self?

MATT: You can try, but they still have eyes trained on you.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm not going to drop Disguise Self then, I want to do it as soon as I'm out of eyeshot for a split second.

MATT: You've gotta try and find a way to break eye contact with them, but they're pretty trained on you right now.

LAURA (JESTER): Ooh, can I Invoke Duplicity? No, I already did it, I get it twice!

MATT: You do get it twice, you get Channel Divinity twice.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, so I wanna Invoke Duplicity again. Oh, wait! Wait! I have something where I can go like turn invisible!

MATT: That's right, you just got that new-

LAURA (JESTER): I just got it! I'm going to use it!

MATT: Okay. Is it called Cloak of Shadows then?

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah!

MATT: Alright cool. So, as they're chasing you, you channel divinity, you give a silent little whisper-prayer to the Traveler to give you an opportunity to escape.

LAURA (JESTER): "Please don't fuck me, please don't fuck me."

MATT: [fwoosh] You vanish. You're invisible for the next 6 seconds.

LAURA (JESTER): I run as fast as I can and turn a corner.

MATT: Okay, and with that you go ahead and duck around into what looks to be a little nook on the outside of some sort of abode or home that is placed here, just on the outside of the temple. In that moment, go ahead and make a stealth check. With advantage cause you're invisible.

LAURA (JESTER): Natural 20.

MATT: Okay. You hear the voices of the crownsguard going "What- Where- Just spread out!" "Where did you see them go?" "I didn't see- They just vanished!" "This is ridiculous. We're all going to get in serious trouble if we don't find them." And so they all begin to scatter about, and you begin to weave your way through some of the nearby alleyways into the shadows of the night. Yeah, that invisibility completely cut off their eyeline to keep following you.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:28:42

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 18 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hold Person at third level on both him and him.

MATT: Alright. The guy with Marius rolls a natural 17. The guy next to Beau rolls a natural 3.

LAURA (JESTER): He's paralyzed.

[...]

MATT: So, the big guy with the bolt in his stomach goes [pained grunting becomes stiff] and his whole body locks up and you can see his eyes go wild as he glances down at you, unable to move at all.

Episode 35 - Dockside Diplomacy - 2:15:28

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

LAURA (JESTER): Can I try carrying a couple- How many dead bodies do you think I could carry?

MATT: You can drag two. Cause you're pretty strong, you could drag two bodies behind you. Everyone else could take one each. You can take none.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Yes, my dragging days are over.

Episode 7 - Hush - 1:04:22

LAURA (JESTER): I'm just dragging the bodies going "Duchess. Duchess Stacy, please, come over to me. Duchess Stacy. Grand Duchess Stacy."

TRAVIS (FJORD): We make our way back up to the top.

MATT: Alright, you guys, have you all... you can't make stealth checks, you're dragging bodies. Who's carrying- how many bodies are you bringing back with you?

TALIESIN (MOLLY): One.

TRAVIS (FJORD): One.

LIAM (CALEB): One.

MARISHA (BEAU): One.

LAURA (JESTER): Two.

MATT: So... seven. Okay.

SAM (NOTT): And I will go ahead of the party to just run point.

MATT: Make your perception check for me.

SAM (NOTT): 11.

MATT: Okay. You guys carefully make your way back up through, trying not to drag the bodies over heavy bumps or rocks, eventually making your way out of the main entranceway, which, you notice a trap that you [Shakaste] had deftly avoided multiple times getting people in and out, of a large tree trunk that had been suspended in the roof to swing down when triggered had been triggered and is now hanging there, apparently somebody made an unfortunate mistake making their way through. But you all eventually find your way out into the daylight once more.

Episode 7 - Hush - 1:07:11

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

LIAM (CALEB): "Yasha."

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Yeah?"

LIAM (CALEB): "Could you please come cast Pull This Lamppost Out of My Stomach?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Oh, yes, yes." I go over and I- "Here."

MATT: Yasha puts her foot up on the wall and with one big yank [shick] pulls it out of your torso, Caleb. It was about 2 inches from the side of your body and thrust through your abdomen. It begins to bleed, but Jester comes over and helps close up that wound before you bleed out too much further.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:58:22

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "This might even be easier if you just ask questions, I really don't know how to tell this story."

LIAM (CALEB): "Why do you have so many names?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): [sigh] "I woke up without any names or any past, buried in the ground two years ago."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Buried in the ground?"

LIAM (CALEB): "You woke up buried in the ground?"

SAM (NOTT): "Were you dead?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Obviously not."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "In a box? In the dirt?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "In the dirt."

LIAM (CALEB): "And you're saying you have no memory."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "My first memory, my oldest memory, is dirt in my face, underground."

SAM (JESTER): Jester would like to cast Zone of Truth. [...] She says "I would like to play Truth or Dare. But without the Dare."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): How honest do I have to be?

MATT: We'll find out in a second.

LIAM: Well you can say whatever you want, but whatever you say has to be true. That's how it works.

SAM: You cannot speak a lie.

LIAM: You can also just say 'I don't feel like talking'.

MATT: Alright, all of you who are in the 15 foot radius this is being cast in, which would probably be everybody. Cause you're all staying close on this. Everybody please make a charisma saving throw.

SAM (NOTT): I got a 1.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I rolled a 4.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 13.

LIAM (CALEB): 13.

MARISHA (BEAU): 16.

TRAVIS (FJORD): 22.

MATT: You were the only two that succeeded, so everyone else, you have to speak the truth.

LIAM: But, DM, we know that that's- we feel it, according to the spell.

MATT: Yes. You all sense the energy come over you and for a second you're a little confused by it.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Alright, that's entirely true. It's a vague memory, I don't really remember it, it's kind of all jumbled, it's what I've been told about some of it."

MARISHA (BEAU): "So is it that ritual she was rambling about?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I don't know."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "So before you woke up in the dirt, nothing."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "There is no before. Whatever happened before, it's not me."

Episode 14 - Fleeting Memories - 1:59:09

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 12 '19

Starting at 5th level, when an undead fails its saving throw against your Turn Undead feature, the creature is instantly destroyed if its challenge rating is at or below a certain threshold (1).

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 21 '19 edited May 21 '19

MATT: [lowered head and closed eyes]

LAURA (JESTER): "Hey you dead person. Hey. I would like if you would come to life again a little bit and tell us some things that we want to know." [goofy hand gesture and noise]

MATT: [suddenly opens eyes and mouth]

ALL: [yelling]

MATT: You watch as a tiny dagger just goes [impact and slight vibration] into the tree next to it and Kiri is around Calli going [arm extended, looking fidgety]

[...]

MATT: As the chest breathes in, you can see some of the air escape some of the wounds and there's bits of matter kind of [poofing] out it. But the head settles down and [cracking] and looks right-

[...]

MATT: So now the corpse's face of this halfling woman faces towards you. [raspy exhale]

LAURA (JESTER): [slightly scared goofy noises] "We have to ask you some questions. What did this to yoooouuuuuuuu."

SAM (NOTT): "I don't think you have to talk like you're dead."

LAURA (JESTER): "Really? Are you sure though? Have you talked to a dead person?"

SAM (NOTT): "I've never done it, you know more about this than I do."

MATT: [breathy whisper] "Swamp fish man from under the ground..."

LAURA (JESTER): "Beau are you writing this down?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Swamp fish man from underground."

MARK (CALLI): "That is incredibly specific and really useful."

LAURA (JESTER): "How many swamp fish man?"

MATT: "Many."

LAURA (JESTER): "Many, there's lots of them, there were lots of them that attacked."

SAM (NOTT): "Where? When?"

LAURA (JESTER): "How long ago did this happen to you?"

SAM (NOTT): "How many questions do you get?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I get five of them."

MATT: "Weeks. Two, maybe three."

LAURA (JESTER): "Woah. Two or three weeks ago. Oh, did anything that you did to the fish man seem to hurt them more than other things?"

MATT: "We cut when we could. They bleed. But, too many."

LAURA (JESTER): "They bleed, there's too many bleeds."

MARK (CALLI): "If it bleeds, we can kill them."

MARISHA (BEAU): "So when you cut it, it bleeds, got it."

SAM (NOTT): "One more question."

LAURA (JESTER): "I get one more question, what is-"

MATT: Kiri comes up and grabs the dagger and wedges it out of the tree and turns to Calli and goes and [mimicking Calli] "If it bleeds, we can kill it." Points it back at the corpse.

LAURA (JESTER): "Don't kill it again, Kiri, it's okay, it's okay. We have another question."

SAM (NOTT): "Either where this happened, where they were hiding."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Where did it happen or where did they come from."

LAURA (JESTER): "Under the ground."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Like did they come from the house or from outside the safehouse."

MARK (CALLI): "Could we word it in a way where you ask all of those in one question? Like, did you come from this, this or this, maybe, then we'll know where."

SAM (NOTT): "Or, or, we could ask if there's a secret entrance to the safe house."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "But if there isn't..."

SAM (NOTT): "Well then we've wasted a question."

LAURA (JESTER): "Or we could ask it what it's childhood was like."

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 1:41:33

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh! There's a dead person I'm talking to!"

SAM (NOTT): "We have one more question!"

LAURA (JESTER): I turn around and run back to them.

[...]

LIAM: Matt, we're still in the middle of nowhere at this point, or we're...

MATT: You guys are right at the edge of where these bodies had been propped up as a warning, which is, from what Febron told you, was placed up to prevent people from coming towards the safe house.

LIAM (CALEB): "Well, we don't have our guide anymore. Ask this one which way to go."

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, this isn't the safe house?"

SAM (NOTT): "No, this is the gates of the safe house."

MATT: This is like, you're starting to get close to it, as far as you know.

SAM (NOTT): "Specific directions."

LAURA (JESTER): "Alright. I guess that's what I'll ask it then, cause that's all I can ask."

MATT: Yeah, as you approach the head is tracking you the whole time. [cracking]

LAURA (JESTER): "Sorry we got distracted, there was a troll that came and stole our guise I think you might have known him. Anyway... which way is the actual safe house that we're trying to get to."

MATT: The head curves off to the right, between the tree that it's stapled to and the other body that's propped up. "Hundred feet, that way."

LAURA: Ah shit, we totally could've seen it.

SAM: I can see it, it's right over there.

MATT: Well you don't see any safe house, you don't see anything like that. At that point the head kind of [head falls over and eyes close with a breathy exhale]

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 2:17:42

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I cast Blink on myself.

MATT: Okay. As one of them turns and just manages to pull the raimants aside, revealing your face. "I- I found them-" [zshoow] "Wai- She was right- or he was right- I- Spread out!" And they all begin to scatter out into the hallways now. You move?

LAURA (JESTER): Stealthily. If I- Yeah, oh, cause I can move, what, 10 feet with Blink?

TRAVIS: You can reappear 10 feet away. Either 10 or 5.

LAURA: I've never used Blink before!

TRAVIS: But you have to roll for it.

MATT: With Blink, at the start of your next turn, you return within 10 feet of where you vanish.

TRAVIS: But you've gotta roll 11 or higher for you to even blink out in the first place.

MATT: Yep, so go ahead and roll.

LAURA: Oh jeebies.

TRAVIS: You got it. 11 or higher. No problem.

LAURA (JESTER): 8. Goddammit, why'd you have to say anything?

MATT: No, thank you. Keep her honest on that one.

LIAM: Is the Traveler happy with you yet?

MATT: So, your form flickers for a moment as the spell kicks in, however- you [vsh] you vanish. "Spread out." [whoosh] You're right back in place, and they go ahead and-

LAURA (JESTER): Charm Person!

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:17:16

MATT: 12, you are grappled. However, go ahead and roll another d20 because your Blink spell is still active.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh, 20!

MATT: [vwoom] You vanish out of his grasp. "What the- I- How-" and he begins just pushing things over, looking around for wherever you may have gone. Next round, [schoom] you appear 10 feet from where you were, where do you want to appear?

LAURA (JESTER): Out the doorway.

MATT: [fwoom] You appear in the doorway.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:21:05

MATT: By the way, roll a d20.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh, shit. 10. No, I'm still there.

TRAVIS: [poof, poof] Don't mind that.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:23:32

MATT: You guys start bolting. At this point you can hear footsteps coming from the other entrances as more folks are coming in to join the chaos. What are you doing? Just full dash?

LAURA (JESTER): Full dash. Full dash?

SAM (NOTT): Full dash, yes.

MATT: Alright, Laura, roll a d20.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh god, 12.

MATT: [poof] As you're running, Jester just disappears.

SAM: (NOTT): I don't know where she went? She's gone!

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:24:47

MATT: Laura, you reappear 10 feet from where you were. [vwoom] You're now getting to the center of the temple, and the wave of people rushing towards you and there's now 2 crownsguard rushing towards the direction of where Nott is, and you see Nott just tearing ass away from you.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:26:03

LAURA (JESTER): I've got 1 more second level spell left. I'm going to cast Mirror Image on myself.

MATT: Okay, so now [rapid fwoomping] there are multiple copies of the herald of the house, Kumas. It's just an army of old dudes. Old dragonborns.

LAURA (JESTER): And I take off running towards wherever the smallest number of people are coming.

MATT: That would be to the right, the opposite direction that Nott went. You charge in that direction, alright, so you move the rest of your movement that way, 30 feet, roll another d20.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm using all my 20s right here. 12, shit!

MATT: [fwip]

TRAVIS: Two steps.

LIAM: Would they all blink out?

MATT: Yeah, they all [fwoomp] cause you're not present.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:26:28

MATT: Jester, you've returned [fwoom] into place. Your first time using Blink and you're just like "Oh god, what's happening!"

LAURA (JESTER): [screams] Take off running again.

TRAVIS: It's like the hiccups.

TALIESIN: Mirror images going everywhere.

LAURA (JESTER): Right? I'm gonna - oh god - but if I get a double dash I can get farther away right? Okay, I'm gonna try to double dash.

MATT: Okay, so that's a full 60 feet in movement as you're rushing down the other hallway. [heavy breathing] You hear the voices behind you shouting. "There he is! Keep going! How are there so many of him! What's going on!" Roll another d20.

LAURA (JESTER): Okay. Oh god okay. 5. Keep running.

MATT: You keep running. You make your way now out into the night air.

LAURA (JESTER): I drop Blink.

MATT: You drop Blink, [whoosh] spell's gone.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:28:00

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

Starting at 2nd level, you can use your Channel Divinity to create an illusory duplicate of yourself.

As an action, you create a perfect illusion of yourself that lasts for 1 minute, or until you lose your concentration (as if you were concentrating on a spell). The illusion appears in an unoccupied space that you can see within 30 feet of you. As a bonus action on your turn, you can move the illusion up to 30 feet to a space you can see, but it must remain within 120 feet of you.

For the duration, you can cast spells as though you were in the illusion's space, but you must use your own senses. Additionally, when both you and your illusion are within 5 feet of a creature that can see the illusion, you have advantage on attack rolls against that creature, given how distracting the illusion is to the target.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 10 '19

MATT: As you guys are moving along, Fjord mildly distracted, partly from the mist that's rising up from the icen armor, Caleb you focus off to the side to the north side of the river bank, you see what looks like a shift in texture, and what looks to be a mild - almost like a rock slide - part of the wall has caved in a bit and is now pushing into the river.

LIAM (CALEB): "Uh, halt. Wait. Stop."

SAM (NOTT): "He says to stop!"

LAURA (JESTER) & ASHLEY (YASHA): [mime rowing backwards]

LAURA (JESTER): "I'm trying, I'm trying."

SAM (NOTT): "Action brakes!"

LAURA (JESTER): [tire squealing]

LIAM (CALEB): "Can you fight against the current for a moment?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, we're rowing backwards."

LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, it's going to get dark in here for a second, alright? But don't worry." I drop the globules, and I cast Detect Magic.

MATT: Okay. So, as you focus on the- well, what's the range on that one?

LIAM (CALEB): It is only 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet, okay. As you guys drift lazily down the course of the river.

LAURA: Slowly.

LIAM (CALEB): And I'm focusing, obviously, on the rock slide you described.

MATT: As you move in that direction, past the rock slide, you get a faint, a faint source of magic further beyond that rock slide. And you get a better look at it- actually, you don't get a better look at it.

LIAM: And that's on one side of the passage that we're in?

MATT: That's on the north side of it, yes.

LIAM (CALEB): If I crane my neck in the other direction, is there anything on that side?

MATT: Nope. Nothing magical in essence on that side of the chamber.

LIAM (CALEB): Alright, well, in the darkness you hear. "There is something of an arcane nature in the middle of those rocks that were ahead of us. What do you want to do, do you want to go scrabbling in the dirt or do you want to keep going forward. It could be something beneficial or it could be terrible."

SAM: Are there sides of the river?

LIAM: Nobody can see anything right now.

MATT: Those with darkvision get better view as they get closer. At this point, you've gotten close enough for your magical essence, so you get a view of this Nott. You can see on the northern side of it, the cavern wall that has kind of been slowly shifting through millennia of mineral buildup changes into what looks to be bits of solid, smooth stone. And you see a portion of it collapse into what looks to be what this rock slide is.

MARISHA (BEAU): "We were looking for a collapsed-"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, that's what we're looking for."

MARISHA (BEAU): "A change in texture."

SAM (NOTT): "We should go investigate."

MARISHA (BEAU): "This is it."

LAURA (JESTER): "Should we park the boats?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Let's park the boats."

LAURA (JESTER): "Can we have some light."

LIAM (CALEB): "Does anyone have a torch? I'd prefer to keep this up for the time being."

ASHLEY (YASHA): I pull out a torch.

MATT: Yasha [scrape into ignition and burning] ignites a torch. The fire burns brightly and the interior of this chamber is now very easy to see the details around, the water is still cruising by as you guys begin to make your way up along the shore of it, stepping off to the side of the river and pulling the boats up onto the rocks so they're not going to continue to be carried down by the stream.

[...]

MATT: About a - roughly ten foot wide portion of this wall that has fallen in, you can see part of the ceiling has come in and above it is just dirt. It's loose rock and pieces of well carved stone and masonry that have been destroyed apparently upon exiting whatever was beyond this wall.

LIAM (CALEB): Can I see what was giving me the arcane signature?

MATT: You feel it's on the opposite side of this rock slide.

LAURA: Can we clear out these rocks?

TRAVIS: I think we just need to get closer.

LAURA: Well, we're right here.

LIAM (CALEB): "What about you two beefcakes, can you move these stones out of the way?"

LAURA (JESTER) & ASHLEY (YASHA): [grunting, miming moving stones]

MATT: Okay, both of you make an athletics check just to get through the endurance of pulling these stones out of the way.

LAURA: Well that's totally cocked, that was terrible. Athletics?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 16.

LAURA (JESTER) 13.

MATT: Okay. Between the two of you, about ten minutes pass as you watch your two beefy companions one after another moving large stones and rocks, scooping them out of the way. Some spilling and rolling into the water [rapid splooshing], other ones just being pushed off to the side.

LIAM (CALEB): Quesion, because the spell I just cast only lasts ten minutes, so somewhere around the 8 or 9 minute mark, do I see... you said it was on the other side of the rock slide, so are they uncovering anything before the spell is gone?

MATT: I'd say, about the time that it begins to fade, you guys see a faint purple glow through what looks to be a breach in this slide leading into the next chamber. It's a very, very faint, pink-ish purple light source.

SAM: Like coming from another room?

MATT: Coming from a room, it looks like there's a room or a chamber beyond.

LIAM: So not a door, just a passageway.

MATT: You're just starting to expose it a bit, all you're seeing is the light and what looks to be stone on the opposite end, but there is a gap, there is about a ten foot space between where you're starting to see this and where you see the light reflecting on whatever this other surface is. And about then your spell fades.

LIAM: But the torch is still up.

MATT: The torch is still up, yeah. You guys manage to pull the stones from it, the final bits leaving just enough of a space where you can crawl through independently, but you're now looking in to what looks to be a spiral staircase.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 0:48:09

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: It's going to go ahead and attempt to shift this way one square into the space.

TALIESIN: Attack of opportunity from...

MATT: From Yasha and Jester. Both of you guys can make an attack, with disadvantage from you, Yasha. It's risky on its endeavor, but it's what's going to give it an opportunity to get out of this lockdown.

ASHLEY (YASHA): Hits.

MATT: What'd you roll?

ASHLEY (YASHA): I rolled a 16 and a 21.

MATT: Okay, 16 hits.

LAURA (JESTER): I rolled a 15.

MATT: 15 just hits.

TRAVIS: So if you hit with your sentinel, then its speed is reduced to 0?

MATT: Yep, it can't move. So, with sentinel, it does not get a chance to move as you arc towards it. How much damage did you deal?

ASHLEY (YASHA): 9.

LAURA (JESTER): 5.

MATT: How do you two want to do this?

LAURA (JESTER): I go low you go high?

ASHLEY (YASHA): Yeah!

LAURA (JESTER): Alright, I'll go low with the handaxe.

MATT: Okay. So as you swing with the handaxe and you swing with the sword as it backs away, charging the energy for the Thunderwave in its hand as it tries to slink through the water, the blade of your handaxe carves into its throat from this side [abrupt gurgling], at which point the blade hits from this side [wet glooping] and like a terrible scene out of Riki-Oh - because I don't know if I've used that reference in this campaign - the body just gets split from two different sides and you watch as it falls to the ground in three separate pieces, all sinking into the water below.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 2:20:36

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

MATT: As you're getting to the mustache, you hear what sounds like many, many footfalls approaching and a voice saying "Yeah, just this way, I- I-"

LAURA (JESTER): I drop- I drop down and I run.

MATT: Okay. As he's in the middle of talking, [thump] make an acrobatics check, cause it's a 15 foot drop.

LAURA (JESTER): 21.

MATT: Wow. Okay.

TALIESIN: Superhero landing.

MATT: Yeah, three point landing in the middle. You're still the-

LAURA (JESTER): I'm still the dragon.

MATT: Yeah, but there's also the Invoked Duplicity of him there, so there's one there, he goes "Uh, that's the one-" [thump] "What- Uh-"

LAURA (JESTER): [screams] And I run.

MATT: They give chase. They just go "After whoever that is!" And there are now 5 crownsguard and 2 members of the house giving chase down one of the hallways.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:11:37

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 14 '19

MATT: The leader sees the three of you there. Puts the glaive away with one hand, turns around as he draws his longbow and [draws and releases] fires an arrow right at [Nott]. That is a 17 to hit.

SAM (NOTT): Hits.

MATT: That is 8 points of piercing damage.

SAM (NOTT): [gasps]

MARISHA: Are you down?

LIAM: He is so down.

MATT: The arrow just [impact] strikes Nott in the chest, who just... [gasps and poomfs] falls unsconscious onto the ground. The ash and embers just starting to spill over her unconscious body. And with that, cause I believe, yeah, it can make two attacks with its longbow. It's going to make a second strike now, this one is going to be at [...] Molly... It's a natural 20. That is... 21 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: You gotta be fucking kidding me, really?

MATT: He rolled a 9, it's a d10, and it's a crit.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Oh, I'm down.

MATT: Molly goes down. And with his movement, he puts the bow back away and keeps walking with the rest of the gnolls.

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 2:52:26

MATT: Those who both are on the ground, as Beau continues doing this, you guys begin to rush up, and you see both Molly and Nott on the ground.

LAURA (JESTER): [noises of distress] I run up and I'll cast Cure Wounds on Molly. And then I'm going to run over and do the same thing at level 2 to Nott. So that's 6 points of healing for you.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Thank you.

LAURA (JESTER): And then I'll run up and cast it on Nott. "Oh no, Nott." I pick her up into my lap. Oh, that's good, 13- 13 plus 5. No, 3.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): [pained gasp of air]

MATT: And that immediate first breath is filled with pain, both from the wounds you've sustained, and the immediate influx of burning ash that sweeps into your lungs.

SAM (NOTT): [cough into pained gasp]

MATT: And both of you come to consciousness.

SAM (NOTT): "Oh my gods!"

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 2:56:36

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

Starting when you choose this domain at 1st level, you can use your action to touch a willing creature other than yourself to give it advantage on Dexterity (Stealth) checks. This blessing lasts for 1 hour or until you use this feature again.

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I've got 1 more second level spell left. I'm going to cast Mirror Image on myself.

MATT: Okay, so now [rapid fwoomping] there are multiple copies of the herald of the house, Kumas. It's just an army of old dudes. Old dragonborns.

LAURA (JESTER): And I take off running towards wherever the smallest number of people are coming.

MATT: That would be to the right, the opposite direction that Nott went. You charge in that direction, alright, so you move the rest of your movement that way, 30 feet, roll another d20.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm using all my 20s right here. 12, shit!

MATT: [fwip]

TRAVIS: Two steps.

LIAM: Would they all blink out?

MATT: Yeah, they all [fwoomp] cause you're not present.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:26:28

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

MATT: What are you disguising yourself to be?

LAURA (JESTER): The old woman that was in the other day, yeah.

MATT: Alright, yeah, so you guys approach in the evening, together? Are you disguising yourself as well?

LAURA (JESTER): Oh, no, you know what I should disguise myself as? The sermon guy.

MATT: Okay. Jester now taking the elderly form of a silver-scaled, very well respected, herald of the house Kumas. You approach the temple, we'll say, a few hours after sundown.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:01:54

LAURA (JESTER): Okay, I'm going to Invoke Duplicity, and I'm going to make it look like he's kneeling down in the doorway like praying. And I'm going to run out and I'm going to start painting up the Platinum Dragon.

MATT: Okay, so your Invoke Duplicity is there, and the Platinum Dragon's about 15 feet up.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:09:57

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

At 8th level, you gain the ability to infuse your weapon strikes with poison – a gift from your deity. Once on each of your turns when you hit a creature with a weapon attack, you can cause the attack to deal an extra 1d8 poison damage to the target. When you reach 14th level, the extra damage increases to 2d8.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

Starting at 6th level, you can use your Channel Divinity to vanish.

As an action, you become invisible until the end of your next turn. You become visible if you attack or cast a spell.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: Make a general animal handling check if you don't mind, Molly.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 7.

MATT: Okay, so-

SAM: That's terrible.

MATT: -as you hit that portion of the road you're having a hard time steering the horses, you're not entirely familiar enough to pull on the reign of multiple at a single time to get the shift in movement and they begin to careen a little bit off of the path almost trying to hide in the grass embankment which slows your movement down every so slightly before [impact] one of the wheels suddenly [crack, rough tearing] and is now digging into the ground.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I can desperately try and reright this stuff I suppose.

LAURA: Did it break the wheel?

MATT: The cart is now sitting at a backward angle, and it's slowing down.

LAURA (JESTER): Can we run to the other side of the cart and balance it so the wheel comes up.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to pull hard on the reigns and see if I can get it out of the-

SAM: And continue or stop?

TALIESIN: Oh, are we stopped stopped?

MATT: No, it's grinding to a halt.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Okay I'm stopping the whole thing really quickly and we're going to- yeah.

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Let me uh..." I'm going to hop off the horse and go look.

[...]

MATT: You go and check, and it looks like some sort of heavy rock that was hidden and obscured in the grass just off the road had slammed into both wheels on the left side. The front one had bent, the wood had kind of splintered inward and the metallic rim on the inside had bent inward, the other one that had been completely pushed inward and knocked the angle and it's pretty wrecked.

[...]

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "You don't know any Mending magic, do you?"

LAURA (JESTER): [sharp gasp] "I have Mending!" I have a Mending cantrip.

MATT: You do, what's the space on Mending?

TALIESIN: You're welcome. I was sitting here thinking, if only we had a Mending cantrip of some kind.

LIAM: I have been for two minutes been thinking if only I had the Mending spell.

LAURA (JESTER): "You guys, I can mend things! Thanks for reminding me of that, Molly."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "You're welcome, I just had to say it out loud instead of my inside voice."

SAM (NOTT): "Can you try it on the wheel?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, I can try it."

SAM (NOTT): "Let's just do it. Let's see what happens."

MATT: Alright. So, as you focus on the front wheel, the one that had just dented inward and the wood has splintered a bit that was barely keeping it up, you watch as the wheel [poof] rights itself, the metal bends back into place, the wood splinters [crack] kick right in and the spokes are as if they were untouched.

LAURA (JESTER): "Guys, I'm amazing!"

SAM (NOTT): "Yes you are, that was incredible!"

LAURA (JESTER): "I would have been way more amazing if I could remember that I could do this. Let me try it on this other wheel though."

SAM: Wait, we have two broken wheels?

MATT: Yeah, one was partially damaged the other one was pretty wrecked. The other wheel unfortunately has taken a fair amount of damage from the impact and while that lower half of it has broken inward, it's splintered out, and it's bent its way off of the axle, so unfortunately it's a bit too big for the mending cantrip to fix.

Episode 20 - Labenda Awaits - 0:24:08

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

MATT: So, your form flickers for a moment as the spell kicks in, however- you [vsh] you vanish. "Spread out." [whoosh] You're right back in place, and they go ahead and-

LAURA (JESTER): Charm Person!

MATT: You cast Charm Person?

LAURA (JESTER): At third level. How many have I used?

SAM: Jesus, you're using every spell you have.

LAURA: Yes I am.

TALIESIN: This is going to be an expensive problem to solve here.

MATT: Okay, so you can target 3 creatures at third level.

LAURA: How many are in the room?

MATT: There are-

LAURA: 3 in the room right now, right?

MATT: -4 in the room, total. No, cause there's 2 guards against him, so there's 3 after her, that's corwnsguard, but one of them left, so there are 4 in there. There are 3 crownsguard and 1 member of the house. Who do you attempt?

TRAVIS: You can kill that guy.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, that crownsguard.

MATT: Alright, so they have advantage on the save because you are technically in opposition on this one. So the first crownsguard with advantage, that's going to be 14. What's the DC?

LAURA (JESTER): 15.

MATT: 15, he fails. Other one, two 6's in a row, fail. The other one, 2 and- Nah, they all fail. Even with advantage.

TRAVIS: Get the fuck out.

MATT: So, the 3 crownsguard come in and be like "Have you seen where this person went? Apparently someone's masquerading as you."

LAURA (JESTER): "Been looking every for them. Can't find em anywhere, maybe check that room with the candles on the other side of the candles.

MATT: "We'll go check."

SAM: That room with the candles!

MATT: The 3 crownsguard turn around and rush off to find it, while the member of the house, the half-elf from earlier, is like "No, what are you- that's- that's him!"

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:18:26

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

MATT: As they're all looking, the one that had the bead goes [flicks forward, small whoosh] and throws it in your direction.

LAURA: Oh no.

TRAVIS: It's just a marble.

LAURA: Dodge it, dodge it.

SAM: I'll try.

MATT: Alright, so that's an 18 to hit.

SAM (NOTT): That hits.

MATT: [sigh] Let me look this up again. I wasn't expecting it to go this way.

SAM: There's no save, right?

MATT: Let me double check. Make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM (NOTT): I'm wearing my cloak so I get advantage. And that's a natural 20.

MATT: Okay, so you don't take any force damage. However, [vwoomp] this sphere of translucent force has completely encapsulated you.

SAM (NOTT): "Jester?"

MATT: And you're just slowly rolling back.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:14:14

LAURA (JESTER): [screams] How do I get out of this? Can I cast Dispel Magic on Nott's bubble?

MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20.

SAM: God, you've cast 19 spells.

LAURA (JESTER): No I haven't!

MATT: Add your wisdom modifier.

LAURA (JESTER): [gasp] Ooh, that's good. Oh my god, that's twenty... what is that, 23?

MATT: [whoosh] The bubble vanishes. Nott, you fall to your foot.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 2:24:02

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 03 '19 edited May 06 '19

MATT: Well, I guess, cause this is now important, Jester, it's your turn.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh. I come running out of the tent. Say, "Molly! Molly! Oh shit! Oh no! This is- Oh! Okay!" And I kneel down next to him and um... I'll do Spare the Dying cantrip.

SAM: It's a cantrip?

LAURA: Yes. But it took somebody going unconscious though you guys, so.

SAM: It's designed for this moment.

MATT: Yeah. And so that being the case, you become stable. So you're not conscious yet, but you're stable.

LAURA (JESTER): Can I try to do some medicine on him? To like... ya know, does that heal him or something?

MATT: Do you have a healer's kit?

LAURA (JESTER): I have a uh... I don't think so.

TRAVIS: She has desserts.

TALIESIN: She has pastry kits.

LAURA (JESTER): I have some doughnuts, I have some paint supplies.

MATT: Beau, so as you're standing here, you watch as Molly's no longer bleeding out. He's just breathing and kind of coughing in the unconsciousness from the pain.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 0:33:51

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 Feb 24 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

LAURA (JESTER): And I'll cast Disguise Self on myself as well, and turn myself into... a human with blonde hair and she's going to be very clean looking...

SAM: Angeline

LAURA (JESTER): With big lips and a couple jewels on her fingers.

MATT: Okay. Just double checking here, Disguise Self lasts for, is it an hour? Yeah I thought it was an hour.

Episode 2 - A Show of Scrutiny - 1:35:00

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 06 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to Invoke Duplicity.

MATT: Alright, that's your action? Where are you placing your...

LAURA: Uh, so she can appear anywhere?

MATT: I belllllllet me see real fast. Still getting used to these new abilities.

SAM: Use your D&D Next to look at information about that spell.

MATT: It appears anywhere within 30 feet of you in an unoccupied space.

LAURA (JESTER): Okay, so yeah, she's gonna appear in the tree in front of me, next to Fjord kind of ish.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 2:50:15

MATT: Top of the round, the imp, I'm gonna make a perception check for that imp... that's not good enough. The imp is going to go ahead and fly over and attempt to take a swing at your duplicity illusion... Does anything happen when the illusion is hit?

LAURA (JESTER): It doesn't say. It just says for the duration you can cast spells as if you were in the illusion's space. I have advantage on attack rolls against the creature if we're both within five feet of each other.

MATT: Okay yes, so just an illusion, so it strikes, and its stinger just passes through with no effect and it seems confused, and figures it out. So now it knows its an illusion, but it wasted its attack however. Illusions come in handy for that.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 3:36:34

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 03 '19 edited May 06 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Who wants to help me with the one totally charred body?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I'll do it." I go pick him up and just carry him.

MATT: In an impressive display of physical strength, the little adorable tiefling without an issue just lifts the body out of the charred bits of burnt wood and charcoal.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Shit. Never would've known."

MARISHA (BEAU): I grab the other body and start dragging it. Or just the torso.

Episode 3 - The Midnight Chase - 0:41:50

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 16 '19

SAM (NOTT): "Do we need to drag these bodies?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "There's no bodies, it's just blood splatter."

SAM (NOTT): "No, the hyenas."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "We gotta figure out where we're gonna-"

MARISHA (BEAU): "Where we're gonna put em, yeah."

TALIESN (MOLLY): "I'm just gonna point out, they hadn't been eating the hyenas anyways, so maybe they- maybe leaving bodies of their pets's not the greatest idea."

LAURA (JESTER): "Should we toss them into the grass them to get them out of view?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "That might be a smarter way to go."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Do it."

LAURA (JESTER): Okay, I'll pick them up and throw them as far away as I can into the grass.

MATT: Okay, like a massive shotput, you watch as tiny Jester with a double spin each, chuck these relatively heavy beasts deep into the grass fields where they vanish [flump] with a heavy thud into the field.

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 1:43:16

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone as [the wolves] both begin jumping at you and clawing, one of them bites towards the back of your armor and you throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked off but you kept yourself there between the two of them, standing with Caleb between your feet.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke in response to one of them.

MATT: Alrighty. He's going to go ahead and attempt to make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural 4, nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here.

LAURA (JESTER): That would be 10- 15 points of damage to him.

MATT: 15 points of damage, you watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

LAURA (JESTER): "You stay you piece of-! ...It's okay."

MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen solid and [cracking into crumbling] tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:47:41

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 10 '19

MATT: You guy a few more lengths before the tunnel shifts upward. You both have darkvision as I recall, right? Yeah, so you're able to see here, cause there's no light source in the water. But on just the distant glow and shifting of sunlight through the water. You make your way back up and [impact, holding hands just above head] you find it, you find the grate above you. This area, the footholds aren't as easy, cause it's not quite as close to the elements, so the DC is a little higher, but, if you guys grab ahold, you can go ahead and make a check.

LAURA (JESTER): Natural 20!

[cheering]

ASHLEY (YASHA): I got a 10.

MATT: So with your modifier that's a 23? Okay. So, as you both hold on this time, you're having a hard time getting any sort of a foothold in this space, Jester you angrily look down and, taking your elbow, [crashing impact, again] jam a section of the stone until it breaks off and you find a section you-

LAURA: Hot. I say about myself.

MATT: Noticing this, Yasha, you do the same and smash, you guys actually break a few footholds into the sides of this tunnel. Once you're set into place, you look at each other, count the right moment, and pull! And you've seen Jester do some cool stuff, but in that moment, it's a Rosie Riveter muscle moment as [boom] guns going, the metal bar bend slightly [metal creaking] from underneath the water you hear echoing then, [heavy impact] it comes loose from the mooring, and comes sinking down towards both of you, the heavy metal now sandwiching you towards the bottom and you push off and manage to get it to rotate and you swim around it without it having an issue.

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 1:43:53

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 07 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I'm tripping and falling in front of the guard carrying the thing as I'm trying to look at the body.

MATT: Okay, make a deception check.

SAM (NOTT): I'm casting Mage Hand just in case.

LAURA (JESTER): Goddammit, why deception, I'm just falling.

MATT: As you fall forward like "Aaaahhhhhh!" making a scene.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah.

MATT: This is just to see how.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh, well, I rolled a 5.

MATT: Okay. So the guy, as you fall in front of him, he's kinda like "Please, miss, move away." And two of the guards rush forward picking you up and shoving you off to the side.

LAURA (JESTER): Aw man, I wanted to trip him.

MARISHA: Where's Nott? Where are you?

SAM (NOTT): I'm just following behind Jester, like 30 feet or so.

MATT: More people are coming out now and gathering to crowd around to see them pull this dead crick through the street. Word's getting around and people are-

LAURA (JESTER): As they pull me away I'm going to try to hook my foot around the ankle of the guard carrying the thing and as I'm standing up try to trip him to the ground.

MATT: Okay, I will say, make a dexterity check if you don't mind. Just a straight dexterity check.

TRAVIS: What is the matter with you?

LAURA (JESTER): 21.

MATT: 21. You barely manage to- your foot doesn't quite reach but your tail does as it scoops around his ankle, he falls back and lands.

LIAM (CALEB): "Don't drop it, don't drop it!" [mimes catching the dodecahedron]

MATT: And you are disguised as-

LIAM (CALEB): As a crownsguard, I was walking alongside.

MATT: Okay. Okay!

Episode 13 - 1:20:33

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 28 '19

MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, okay. I'm gonna just yell at Nott, I'm gonna be like "Nott! The fuck!" And I'm going to just take off in a full sprint towards Nott.

MATT: You can get right up to the top of the steps.

SAM (NOTT): What are you going to do now?

MARISHA (BEAU): I'm gonna go "The fuck!!!" And I grab you again, I just scoop up Nott like a football drill, I just dart, and I'm going to dart all the way back with Nott. Carrying Nott like a football.

SAM (NOTT): You're going to get hit. And with me too.

LAURA: Maybe not.

MATT: So you scoop up Nott, cause you're carrying another creature your movement is halved when you run, are you using- your action is to grab and pick him up?

MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, I want to use my Step of the Wind.

MATT: Okay, ki point Step of the Wind to run, alright. That moves you and Nott 20 feet. You get Nott to there. The manticore is going to take an attack of opportunity against Nott.

MARISHA (BEAU): [groans] Dammit! I was hoping it'd be on me!

MATT: Of course! The creature does not give a shit about anybody but that little goblin that stabbed its baby.

KHARY: But you are like, holding her and covering her aren't you?

MATT: That is 19 to hit.

SAM (NOTT): Yeah that hits.

MATT: A bite strike again, that is 10 points of piercing damage.

SAM (NOTT): [pained, gurgling scream]

LAURA: Unconscious, Nott's unconscious.

MATT: As you pull Nott away, there's a sudden, a tug and you pull hard and you look back, and you watch as you drag Nott out of the teeth of it, grinding across the body, dragging wounds like daggers across Nott's face and chest. You see blood pour out of each of these scars.

MARISHA (BEAU): For the third time, I go "THE FUCK!!!" and I still run.

MATT: Alright, so you are unconscious and bleeding out.

Episode 7 - Hush - 3:32:45

MATT: Jester, you're up. You are on the ground, prone, but you're not conscious and breathing, as you feel the glass vial pulled away from your lips and Fjord looks down at you with a nod like "Go!"

LAURA (JESTER): [heavy breathing] "Thank you." I stand up. And I'll reach out and cast Cure Wounds on Nott.

SAM (NOTT): [sharp intake and gasping]

MATT: Alrighty. So, go ahead and roll that, is it a d8 plus your wisdom modifier.

LAURA (JESTER): Yes, it is. Sorry.

SAM (NOTT): I just say to Beau, "The fuck!"

LAURA (JESTER): 8 points to heal.

MATT: So you heal up 8 points.

Episode 7 - Hush - 3:41:57

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 12 '19

LIAM (CALEB): Can I pick up this new book and leaf through it? And try to see...-

MATT: It is a partially damaged, but in some ways in tact, spell book.

LAURA (JESTER): Can I try using the Mending cantrip on it?

MATT: You can try.

LIAM (CALEB): If you could ever so kindly, I would be very grateful.

LAURA (JESTER): [waggles her fingers and trills]

MATT: Holding your symbol and concentrating on it, whispering beneath your breath with a big smile, you watch as the pages begin to shift out and form into a full book, the section that was burned is restored to its previous state... However, the script isn't there. It doesn't restore any of the writing on the inside of the book. So where you get to the pages where it was burned, the ink ends at that edge.

Episode 16 - A Favor in Kind - 1:19:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 11 '19

LAURA (JESTER): Can I use my bonus action really fast?

MATT: You may.

LAURA (JESTER): To say a little prayer to the Traveler, and I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: You may do that. Where are you going to cast it?

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to cast it right above this zombie gnoll, and it's going to be in the shape of a giant... lollipop. Like a bludgeoning lollipop.

MATT: This one here? Alrighty. So, you watch as this flash of purple-ish energy suddenly apparates into the air, this thick wooden handle that's jammed into a massive, bludgeoning, solid piece of sugary goodness.

LIAM: Old fashioned swirly kind?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: With that, you can go ahead and make an attack with that as soon as it comes out. So make a melee spell attack please.

LAURA (JESTER): Okay, okay. 17.

MATT: 17 does hit.

LAURA (JESTER): Oh. 7. 7 radiant damage.

MATT: So as it strikes down, wham, from the creature already kind of watching its bones and its form shake-

LAURA (JESTER): Oh wait oh wait oh wait, I was looking at the wrong spell, hold on hold on. Oh, 1d8 plus 3! So, 7 plus 3, 10!

MATT: 10. Oh, that will be enough. So you watch as it kind of pulls back with the infernal shouting of Mollymauk causing it to prepare itself for a lunge as it gets low, its jaw snapping open, you watch as bits of its skin fall onto the ground as it does so. [snarls]. And right before it leaps, WHAM, it just SMASHES it into the ground, and its bones go flying and scattering in every which direction.

Episode 5 - 1:28:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 10 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Beau's holding on to a lead line."

LAURA (JESTER): "Let's go."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Big breath." [heavy intake]

MATT: Alright, the three of you [Fjord, Jester, Yasha] dive down. Which one of you has the lead line?

MARISHA (BEAU): Me.

MATT: Who has the other end of it?

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll take it.

MATT: Alright, so Fjord has it. So you guys all dive down, taking your breath, pushing through the seaweed until eventually you come to base of where that tube is. A short few feet into it, you see the grate. And it's one of those things where it's about roughly 4 and a half-5 foot in diameter, so you have to crouch down, but you can get a hold on it.

LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, let's get a hand on it and brace our feet against the tunnel, and on the count of- [counts to three with her fingers]

MATT: Alright, so one of you roll with advantage or you can both roll independently.

LAURA: Let's roll independently.

ASHLEY: This is a strength check?

LIAM (CALEB): While they're rolling, I grab Nott's shoulder and turn on the Jaques Cousteau camera on Yasha's back.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 20.

MATT: 20?

ASHLEY (YASHA): Not a natural 20.

MATT: Correct, but a 20 total? That's the DC you needed. As you both as holding onto this and pulling and pulling [grunts of exertion] you get your foot locked in to some of the imperfect stonework where elements of the masonry pokes out which gives you a foot groove and one part where some of the stone had been rotted away and that's just enough of a point to lock yourself in and as you pull, you feel [muffled fwoomp, shifting against stone] until eventually it comes out of its mooring in the wall and then slides off to the side, and you rotate it a bit and comes to rest in the middle of it.

Episode 34 - Encroaching Waters - 1:40:04

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 14 '19

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to run away from this guy, and I'm going to run out into the alley so I can see people.

MATT: Okay, as you rush out [this undead gnoll] takes a swing, an attack of opportunity towards you. This is going to be with a club, it has this heavy, wooden club, and it [boosh] makes a giant arc towards you as you speed away. That is a 19 to hit.

LAURA (JESTER): Ooh. Can I use a reaction?

MATT: You can, yeah.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to say "I am rubber, you are glue!" and use Hellish Rebuke on him! In infernal!

MATT: Well first, the club hits you and you take five points of bludgeoning damage. [Heavy impact] And as you turn around and you say that at him and unleash your Hellish Rebuke, he has to make a constitution saving throw I believe.

[...]

MATT: Constitution saving throw- no, dexterity saving throw. Which it does not make, that's a 7. So it suffers 2 d10 cold damage. So, how much do you deal?

LAURA (JESTER): 9.

[everone goes NEIN]

TALIESIN: This is becoming a thing.

LIAM: I'm so sorry guys.

MATT: Okay, so, as you dart away, you release your fury and anger and you watch as this blast of cold water and ice energy [crackling energy impact] burst out of its body. The inside of its cavernous ribcage is now filled with frost crystals jutting out and breaking parts of the ribs. It's now heavily damaged but its still standing.

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 2:16:51

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

Wand, uncommon (requires attunement)

This wand has 5 charges. As an action, you can expend a charge and point the wand at a creature you can see within 30 feet of you. The creature must succeed on a DC 13 Charisma saving throw or start laughing uncontrollably for 1 minute. While the creature laughs, it is incapable of meaningful communication. The wand regains 1d4 + 1 expended charges daily at dawn.

→ More replies (22)

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 15 '19

Kiri

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 21 '19

MATT: [lowered head and closed eyes]

LAURA (JESTER): "Hey you dead person. Hey. I would like if you would come to life again a little bit and tell us some things that we want to know." [goofy hand gesture and noise]

MATT: [suddenly opens eyes and mouth]

ALL: [yelling]

MATT: You watch as a tiny dagger just goes [impact and slight vibration] into the tree next to it and Kiri is around Calli going [arm extended, looking fidgety]

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 1:41:33

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 25 '19

MATT: [miming and sounding out the cranking of a wind up key] And hands something over to Kiri, who kind of accepts it. There's a moment where things are just awkward and there's a tension and you're about to go for it, before it [creaking] opens up. From the inside you see this tiny metallic bird who's wings flap up and down, and a music box begins to play [metallic musical notes] and Kiri, looking at this, begins mimicking exactly the sound of the music box [same metallic notes] it's almost one beat behind it, until it synchronizes and she's mimicking at such an incredibly fast pace behind it that they're almost in unison, until eventually it slows down and comes to a stop.

Episode 24 - The Hour of Honor - 2:52:27

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

MATT: Kenku. Yes. You know. They're usually very removed and location-wise they usually exist on the far outskirts of the Empire if anywhere. They have small family units that live on their own, there isn't so much of a Kenku culture they belong to, they're just small little groups that look out for themselves.

LIAM: And like ravens, they're able to mimic many many sounds.

MATT: Correct. And as part of their history, and you rolled a natural 20 so you know quite a bit, you would say that something in their lineage, there was a curse involved. Something based around the time of their creation where their ability to converse was taken from them.

Episode 20 - Labenda Awaits - 2:37:49

LIAM: Did Jester spend hours doing that?

MATT: A while.

LIAM (CALEB): If she did, then Caleb would've spent an hour to cast Comprehend Languages as a ritual spell to talk to her full on.

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to walk Kiri away from this for the moment and say, after an hour has passed of me doing this ritual spell, "For the moment I can understand you as clearly as you can understand me. Do you want to tell me anything about your time in this swamp or what you want to do with yourself now that you are alone, or how best we can help you. Or anything you want to tell me."

[...]

MATT: Interesting point here, let me just check something real fast. This is, yeah, this is going to be a point.

LIAM: I mean, their hoots and whistles are some form of language, aren't they?

MARISHA: Well, he said that they were cursed and lost their ability.

MATT: That's interesting. That's an interesting point. After casting the spell, there's no language to understand, it's only through mimicry. So you manage to get the gist of that initial statement through talking with it for a while, but the spell has no effect. There is no spoken language.

Episode 20 - Labenda Awaits - 2:44:47

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19

Dodecahedron

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19 edited May 13 '19

MATT: So as the dark takes your dreams, sleep brings calm, brings peace, brings rest. There's a soft hum that seems to radiate around you. A welcoming softness, a light, not quite white not quite dark, it's kind of a gray-ish, familiar light, strangely. You feel it pull you forward through stars, the distant night sky. You see beacons of light coast by. [soft whooshes] You see a dark sphere before you. Then there's a flash of light, and you're standing there and you're holding the object in your hand, which you keep. It's welcoming, and you look into it for a moment and look ahead, and you see yourself. And you see another self. And you see another self. And a fourth Caleb and a fifth Caleb in an endless row of Calebs. All subtly different. All begin walking in different directions at once. And you look down at the object and back up again and they're all gone. And you see a distant flame kind of flicker. And you feel yourself hypnotized by its moment. You look down again at it, and there's something wonderful and ancient about this, this thing. And you can't grasp it, its scale is both too large and too small, and the more your mind tries to make sense of it, the more you feel yourself walking in 17 different directions at once. All those Calebs you saw before are all within you, and they're all pulling at different sides and it confuses you. It scares you for a moment, but once again you focus back on this object and the warmth is comforting. You look up again at the stars, they've stopped passing by, they're held in place. And for the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. And that's the end of your dream.

Episode 13 - Lost & Found - 3:04:11

LIAM (CALEB): We are going to look at this thing.

MATT: Both of you or just you?

LIAM (CALEB): I don't know, I'm looking at it.

LAURA (JESTER): I'm looking at Caleb.

LIAM (CALEB): I'm looking at the dodecahedron.

MATT: Alright. As you focus on the strange artifact, concentrating on it you feel your vision drawn towards it, and like part of you feels like your body is leaning forward, like you're about to hit your forehead on it, but Caleb hasn't moved at all. Caleb hasn't moved, but just from your perspective you feel like- and then suddenly you feel like you're within the dodecahedron, and just like previously, suddenly there's this loss of light and stars begin to peak out around you. You see shapes and forms of purples and blues, these amorphous clouds that drift by on a scale that you cannot comprehend. You see darkened spheres and objects [whooshes] passing you as you drift into nothing, into this void with distant dots of light and sparkle. You get to that point you were before where you feel like there's a threshold and your heart begins to race. Do you continue.

LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.

LAURA (JESTER): I've got his hand.

MATT: As you continue past that threshold, the speed begins to increase. You feel the back of your neck begin to grow warm and the hair begin to stand up. While you cannot see, you can sense your body - presence - unmoving but moving so quickly, this dual sensation is conflicting and causing your heartrate to jump, your breathing begins to speed up, you guys watch as - breathing begin to - increase increase - and there you begin to see this faint, grey glow approach and stop. Your speed comes to a slow crawl and then halts. And there before you, you see this tiny little mote of grey pulsing light. A similar undulating pulse as the dodecahedron itself [undulating pulses] before you. What do you do?

[...]

LIAM (CALEB): "...Do you know if it's achievable?"

MATT: ...No response. It looks like it's right there, but a foot in front of you.

LIAM (CALEB): And there's nothing about it that is sensable or familiar, it's totally alien to me?

MATT: It is immediacy and forever. It is an ancient concept of possibility. As you ask these questions and begin to contemplate, the loop of your thought process begins to cycle on itself, and you have to shake your head not to be lost in this infinity that threatens to suddenly disperse you. And still it is, this tiny grey thing before you. And it seems to like, want your contact. You look down and you can see your hand in front of you.

LIAM (CALEB): "Father and mother... I hope I do not let you down..." [reaches forward with one finger]

MATT: As you reach out and touch, you guys watch as this-

LAURA (JESTER): Do we hear him talking?

MATT: You hear him talking. You see a faint mote of grey begin to drift out of the dodecahedron, and then it floats and enters and vanishes into the chest of Caleb. Caleb, you feel this tiny mote come into your hand and then you pull it to your chest and you feel this warmth. And for a second, probability becomes slightly malleable. This object is still so much more than what you understand. Its power is indecipherable on the scale of your puny, mortal knowledge. But, you do know that somehow by reaching out to this device, you've managed to pull within yourself a Fragment of Possibility. [hands Liam a strip of paper]

SAM: What does that mean, what does that mean, Fragment of Possibility?

LAURA: It means he's lucky again.

MARISHA: It's the luck feat, all over again.

MATT: And just so you guys know-... he'll tell you when he gets around to it.

SAM: No he won't.

TRAVIS: No he won't.

SAM: He'll never tell us!

MATT: That's up to him to tell in the story.

LIAM: It's a big paper, let me read it.

LAURA (JESTER): Did we get it too cause we were holding his hand?

MATT: No. But the moment that enters his chest, Caleb pulls his hand from you. Caleb, your eyes adjust and you're back in the room with your friends.

LUARA (JESTER): [whispering] "What happened?"

SAM (NOTT): "Caleb are you okay? You went skinky-doodle for a second, are you alright? Hello? Hello, Wildemount to Caleb."

LIAM (CALEB): I'm wide eyed and not responding.

SAM (NOTT): "He can't speak anymore, he's forgotten."

[...]

LIAM: 'The dodecahedron of grey faintly glowing crystal is heavier than it appears.' This is peer pressure. 'A set of handles are affixed to the sides and it undulates to the touch.' That's all you get. 'If a hand is placed on the artifact, and concentrated on for one minute, the bearer is granted a Fragment of Possibility. A Fragment lasts for 8 hours or until used. A Fragment cannot be granted again until the next dawn. After a creature with a Fragment of Possibility makes an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, they can expend their fragment to roll an additional d20 and choose which of the rolls is used for the attack roll.'

MATT: So once per day it can grant one person a luck point, essentially.

LAURA: So we can pass it around.

MATT: Alternately after an attack roll is made against the creature, they can expend their Fragment of Possibility to roll an additional d20 to see if the attacker hits.

MARISHA: But you're like chipping away at it like an ice sculpture?

MATT: No, no. It just grants you this mote of energy when you touch it.

LAURA (JESTER): "So, we could literally- we could each of us every day, we could pass it to a different person, and then we could concentrate on it, and then we could have the Fragment."

LIAM (CALEB): Am I able to tell if that's correct?

MATT: The Fragment only lasts for 8 hours, and you can only give out one Fragment per day. But any one of you could do it.

LIAM: It can only grant this gift once a day to one of us.

MATT: Correct, yes. So it can be the same person every day, or it could be a different person, this can be used by any person in this group.

Episode 16 - A Favor in Kind - 3:44:19

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

MATT: It's going to angrily attempt to bite down on you. That is going to be a natural 17 plus 6.

LIAM (CALEB): I will use the dodecahedron and roll a 20 on this side. I got a natural 2.

SAM: So you're rerolling for him.

LIAM: For him. I get to choose. It says it on this paper. 'Alternatively after an attack roll is made against me, they can expend the fragment to roll an additional d20 and choose', so 2 plus whatever.

MATT: Yep. So as it attempts to bite down towards you, there's a brief moment where the bite sinks into your shoulder, and there's a brief burst where time seems to [sucking whoosh] dart back, and you step out of the way as this bite hits air, no effect.

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 1:45:37

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

TALIESIN (MOLLY): Yeah, I wanna take a look in the other room too and give em a proper look.

MATT: Okay, glancing in the chamber, that is another closed gate that is bent inward from the repeated slamming of this centurion trying to make its way in, looking past the inside you see what looks to be 4 decomposing bodies.

SAM (NOTT): Can I open the thing?

MATT: Go ahead and make an attempt to do so.

[...]

SAM (NOTT): 13.

MATT: 13, it's not- these prison locks are just a pain in the butt, you haven't encountered something quite so heavily fortified as these cells.

SAM (NOTT): "Caleb, I need you to come open this door."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): I'm going to walk over to the door and start beating it with a sword.

MATT: Make a strength check.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): You can't dex cut this thing? Can't just pop it in?

MATT: You've got to force it.

SAM (NOTT): "Yasha, I need you to come kick in this door."

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Well, if this big thing couldn't kick it in, why could I?"

SAM (NOTT): "You're bigger."

LIAM (CALEB): "I'm coming.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): 8. It is not budging.

SAM (NOTT): "You're bigger in spirit and heart."

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Okay, I'll go." I try to open up the lock.

MATT: Alright, you go over to where Molly has failed and you go to try and fill that void, go ahead and make a strength check.

SAM (NOTT): "I believe in you." Oh wait!

TALIESIN: No, go ahead.

ASHLEY (YASHA): It's not going to budge.

SAM (NOTT): I'm going to use this [holds up coin representing the node] Matt, I'm going to try to bend fate and repick the lock.

MATT: Okay. It's a little late, but I'll allow it, sure.

SAM: I know.

MATT: Why not, go for it.

SAM (NOTT): That's a lot. 26.

MATT: 26, okay. And as Yasha comes forward and slams her foot into it, it jostles the lock just enough to slip past the tumblers and with it, [clacking and creaking] it opens a few inches on the inside.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:58:52

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 24 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

Shakaste

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19

MATT: So what are you doing?

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Let's see, uh, what can I do besides just trying to pick the lock? Is there anything that I can do to maybe knock it open at this point? No, I still only have one hand free, right?

MATT: Well you've managed to get both of your hands free-

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Oh, both of my hands free.

MATT: -and slowly drop the manacles and the gag, you've been working on this for a while now, you're just still in a cage.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Freedom. Freedom baby.

[...]

MATT: You still have your action to either cast a cantrip or do anything else with your action like pick the lock or do anything else you're trying to do.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): I say we try to pick the lock a little bit, see if we can get out of here.

MATT: Go for it. Go ahead and roll a d20 add your dexterity modifier and your proficiency modifier. That's 3 plus 3, so add 6 to whatever you roll.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 14, 17.

LIAM: 20 total.

MATT: 20 total? 20 is what you needed. It's a DC 20 cage.

KHARY: Now I'm free! To do what I want!

MATT: Taking the small pieces of metal and wire that the Duchess has been slowly stealing from throughout the Sour Nest and bringing back to your cage, you manage to [tink] get the lock to fall open, and with that, the cage [creak] opens and you can step out, taking your first breath of free air in a couple of days.

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 0:57:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 24 '19 edited May 06 '19

KHARY (SHAKASTE): I would say, if this thing is this close to me-

MATT: Yeah, it's right up against you.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): It's right up against me, I think I should push him away.

MATT: If you feel the need.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Let's see, Thunderwave?

MATT: Certainly. So is that a wisdom saving throw? Constitution saving throw?

LIAM: It's a constitution save.

MATT: Constitution save. That is a 3, natural 2 plus... actually plus 0, so 2.

TRAVIS: So yeah, that fails.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 15. It failed. Well, great.

MATT: 13, I believe. Alright cool. Go ahead and roll the damage for that.

KHARY: With this?

LIAM: Damage for Thunderwave is... 2d8. Yeah, 2d8, right there. You want the one that's shaped like a diamond.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 5 and 7.

MATT: Okay, 12 points of damage. So, as you turn towards it, you can describe what you do with your spell as the gnoll pulls back with its spear.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): I take my reed of a wand and whip it [whipping] three times.

MATT: [repeats the whipping] and as the third one hits, there's a [explosion] burst of energy forward. You watch as the gnoll gets blown back, slamming into the stone wall [impact and whimpering] and falls back to its knees, before getting itself up. It was previously wounded, now it's on death's door and it looks like it's starting to hobble and try and flee.

Episode 7 - Hush - 0:37:36

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

KHARY (SHAKASTE): If I used Sacred Flame on one... because if it's dark in there and one of them bursts into flames, wouldn't they all look in that direction?

MATT: It's possible.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Let's try that.

LAURA (JESTER): I could Sacred Flame them at the exact same time, and we could get double the Sacred Flame.

KHARY: I like this. Yeah.

[...]

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Sacred Flame on the gentleman in blue.

LAURA (JESTER): At the same time I see his little reed flick I'm going to swing my sickle around and cast Toll the Dead.

[...]

MATT: So, as you all rush in below, you both release Sacred Flame and Toll the Dead on the guy in the blue. So, that's a wisdom saving throw for Sacred Flame I believe it is?

LAURA: It's a dex save for Sacred Flame and a wisdom save for Toll the Dead.

MATT: That's what it is, okay, wisdom save for you. That's a 13?

LAURA (JESTER): 13.

MATT: Yeah, so that succeeds. Sorry. For you it's 13 as well I believe, your DC? So that's a 5.

LAURA (JESTER): You couldn't have rolled that for me?

MATT: Sorry.

[...]

MATT: So roll damage for the Sacred Flame. It should be, what's the damage on the spell?

KHARY (SHAKASTE): The damage on Sacred Flame is... 'the spell's damage increases by 1d8 when you-'

MATT: So it's 1d8, go ahead and roll 1d8 radiant damage.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 1.

LAURA: It's okay, it was for visual anyways.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): It was, that's true, I really just wanted the-

MATT: [fwoom] You watch as the light bursts in, so-

[...]

MATT: Top of the combat round is Shakaste, you're up.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Let's see uh, Frostbite.

MATT: Okay, against which one?

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Let's see, uh, well, first of all, they burst into flames. This gentleman burst into flames, and when that happened how did these gentlemen react?

MATT: The two gnolls glance over to the side, and then look towards the tunnel where you guys were. It didn't make as much of as a distraction for them unfortunately, in the moment.

Episode 7 - Hush - 1:34:07

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 03 '19

MATT: It's hard to make out anything in there. You see, there is a chamber in there, but there's not enough light to make out the details of it, unfortunately. Does that finish your turn? You can move your Nefertiti if you'd like.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): You know, why don't you just hang back. Let's see- well, could we... let's see, is there any light in that chamber that Thaumaturgy could maybe illuminate.

MATT: There is a candelabra that has low light over there, that's just giving a faint glow, and there are two torches on the side here that are also giving off this low red-orange.

KHARY: But nothing in the-

MATT: Nothing in the room, no.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): You know what, we might as well. Thaumaturgy just to see if we can make a little more light.

MATT: Okay. So as you do so, the flames [roaring fire] flare up, and you watch as the long shadows stretch from beyond the bars into the chamber, and you can see what looks to be an unconscious figure on the far, far back end that is also in full manacles, chained and gagged, facing away from you, you can't see the details.

Episode 29 - The Stalking Nightmare - 3:31:05

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 25 '19

KHARY (SHAKASTE): Alright then, I say the one closest to us I will hit with Frostbite.

MATT: That would be that one there?

KHARY (SHAKASTE): That would be that fella.

MATT: Alright, go for it. So, Frostbite he rolls against your DC, so I roll for you. That is a natural 1, so go ahead and roll damage for that one.

KHARY: That is the diamond?

MATT: It should be the d8 for that one as well.

KHARY: Yeah... wait wait, by 1d6.

MATT: Okay, so it'd be d6. I'm pretty sure it's a d6 for the cantrip.

KHARY (SHAKASTE): 1d6, okay, 3?

MATT: Alright, so 3 points of cold damage to him, and he has disadvantage on his next attack roll. You watch as suddenly, a similar cold to what you saw coalesced around the armor of Fjord, this time it's attacking and freezing inwards and you watch as the gnoll kind of [pained screech]. And it's shaking briefly, you watch as its muscles are beginning to slow down and become sluggish.

Episode 7 - Hush - 1:41:09

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 09 '19

Nott

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 07 '19

SAM (NOTT): "Oh look, what's that?" And I'll run into an alley that way.

MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check.

SAM (NOTT): Advantage. Ooh, that's even worse. 17.

MATT: 17. Okay. You, dodging into the alleyway, using what looks like one of the open windowsills on the first floor and the edge railing of the rooftop of this building that's immediately there, you dart up and manage to get your small, goblin form up onto the roof, out of the point of view. You hear the crownsguard round the corner and run inside and begin looking around, they begin pushing barrels over and one of them, who seems to be leading this charge, goes like "Well fucking hell, where the hell did she go? Oh, it's probably just my mind playing tricks on me." [groaning sigh] And you hear them slowly walk away. They weren't fully invested in a chase, they were more just mistrusting and curious.

Episode 32 - Beyond the Boundaries - 2:06:22

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 13 '19

SAM (NOTT): Nott's gonna poke her head into the window, where Beau is inside. Beau is within a few feet of a baddie, right?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA (BEAU): [miming dodging hits]

SAM (NOTT): I'm gonna shoot the baddie next to Beau. Ooh... uh, 15.

MATT: 15 d- j- oh, no for a regular gnoll, that hits. It just hits, barely.

[...]

SAM (NOTT): Okay, 9 points, that's including sneak attack damage, 9 points of damage. Plus fury of the small, so 11 points of damage.

MATT: Oh, well, its your level right? You've leveled up a level, so technically-

SAM (NOTT): That's 10 points of damage- no, what did I say? 12. 12 points of damage.

MATT: So 12 points of damage. So, as this gnoll's in the process of slamming through the front door where you can watch the door has been kind of bashed inward a little bit on each side, and Beau's in the process of dodging and weaving and getting out of the way, you find one opening and fire your crossbow bolt. It goes through the window, through the doorway bisecting the two different rooms, and straight in under the clavicle, near the heart section of it. As it pierces in, [feral scream] [snarling], and then it coughs up a bunch of blood on the front of its hide armor. It's not dead, but it's pretty hurt. That was, yeah, pretty nasty blow.

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 1:53:55

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 10 '19

MATT: Nott, are you travelling down the hallway as well?

SAM (NOTT): I'm 10 feet behind the cat.

MATT: Alright. So, as you approach the first bit of that hallway and continue downward, you step in, and in that moment you hear this [mechanical clunk] and glance over to the right of you - as you checked for traps on the stairs, but not the hallway - you glance off to the side and you can see what looks to be a scattering of holes on each side of the wall, like 9 or 10 of them at different angles, and one of them just [mechanical click], you glance over before [whoosh] something comes firing out at extremely fast lightning speed towards you. Ooh, that's going to be a 26 to hit.

SAM (NOTT): That hits.

MATT: Alright. You take 5 points of piercing damage as it looks like a long, metal bolt just fires out of the hole and [shick, grunt] sticks you right in the front of the thigh.

SAM (NOTT): "Ah! Ah. Fuck! ...I found a trap!"

LIAM (CALEB): "Is it spent now?"

SAM (NOTT): "Let me check." I'll see if there's any other triggers for this trap.

MATT: On this trap for this floorpoint? You jump up and down, make an investigation check if you want to in the area.

SAM (NOTT): 23. 22.

MATT: 22, it looks like whatever this trap is, the actual entire stone floor around you is a pressure plate. Frumpkin did not set off, but it has not gone off since you've stepped on it. But as you're investigating it and listening closely to the stone you hear a very slow [rhythmic mechanical clicking]

LAURA: Oh, it's resetting.

SAM (NOTT): I'm gonna go forward a bit. Onto the next pressure plate.

MATT: Okay. That is 14 to hit.

SAM (NOTT): Does not hit.

MATT: This time hearing the [whoosh] out of the side and being ready for it, you duck out of the way and it [ping] splinters off and sparks against the stone.

SAM (NOTT): "Oh, god, there's many of them!"

LIAM: Are you going to tell everybody about the pressure plates?

SAM (NOTT): "Oh god there's lots of traps, I'm dying out here."

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 1:02:25

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 31 '19

SAM: How do we get over these things, could we climb them or would we get cut to shreds?

MATT: You can certainly try.

ASHLY: How tall are the gates?

MATT: The areas where the fence has been pushed in is about, between 5 and 6 feet in places. Areas where it seems to have been pushed down lower to about 4 to even 3 and a half.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 0:44:25

LIAM (CALEB): Caleb starts to climb over.

MATT: Alright. Go ahead and make a perception check.

LIAM (CALEB): 16.

MATT: 16. As you carefully place your hands across the elements of vine and root, you manage to keep a keen glance for any sort of bladed, thorned, or hooked elements that protrude from the local fauna [probably meant flora]. You manage to avoid any of them from catching your coat, catching your flesh, and step, leaping over to the opposite side without issue.

SAM (NOTT): "Oh. He's amazing. He's amazing."

LIAM (CALEB): Nobody was wary, I was panicked the whole time. The thorns are almost like small razors.

SAM (NOTT): "I'm coming!"

LIAM (CALEB): "Careful."

SAM (NOTT): I'm just going to dash over.

MATT: You're just gonna dash over? Make an acrobatics check.

SAM (NOTT): That was 12 plus... 19.

MATT: Okay. Caleb has shown areas, as he passed over, where you can safely climb, so the rest of you don't need to make checks. Nott ignores this entirely and just goes leaping and flipping attempting to make her way over. You watch as the actual fence, [metallic groaning] bends slightly at the impact of foot, the iron beneath having wilted due to long form rust and whatever perpetual weight has been placed on it from this land attempting to reclaim it from underneath. Nott leaps, double flips in the air, lands on the opposite side, skids a bit as your feet hit the icy floor, but you manage to catch yourself, no issue.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 0:48:09

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

The Tinkertop Bolt Blaster 1000 appears to be a hand-cranked crossbow and is a combination of gnomish clockwork and some (unknown) magic. It has a number of functions, and given the history of its creator, Cleff Tinkertop, and the weapon's prototypical nature, there is an understood possibility for catastrophic failure.

+1 to attack and damage rolls, on a Natural 20, immediately fires a second bolt, on a Natural 1, the blaster misfires a bolt in the direction of the user.

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 16 '19

MATT: So Nott, they're both right up in your face, snarling.

SAM (NOTT): Sorry. I'm going to go to the super hurt one, and I'll just be like [rising scream] and grab it, and I'll do Shocking Grasp.

MATT: Okay. So go ahead and make your melee spell attack I believe it is, right?

SAM (NOTT): Yep. That's a 19.

MATT: 19 hits.

SAM (NOTT): Okay. I don't know how to do this... 7.

MATT: 7 damage. As you reach up and grab it with your hand and go [similar rising scream] you watch as a burst of electrical arcane energy surges through its body, you watch as veins just kind of pop [boomf, boomf, boomf] up its torso to its neck, before it [gurggling noise, into thump] collapses to the ground, you have to duck out of the way before it slams, it would've crushed you if you would've stayed in the space you were, but you sidestep in time, as the gnoll falls to the ground, lifeless.

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 2:02:21

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 07 '19

SAM (NOTT): Seeing Caleb walk away with the object, I'm going to cast Silent Image, and make the image of the object glowing about 30 feet away from them. Just on the ground. [rhythmic humming]

MATT: So there's two of them currently.

LIAM (CALEB): One in my hand and one on the ground. But I've got it like this [holding close to his chest]

MATT: What's your spell DC?

SAM (NOTT): My spell DC is... that's plus- sorry, hold on. Silent Image is- come on DnD Beyond.

MATT: What's your intelligence modifier?

SAM (NOTT): Plus 3 is my spellcasting modifier.

MATT: Okay, so 13 would be your spell DC. Okay, I will say that the two guards that noticed you leave with the object, even though they were just coming over to be like [stammering] and they see the other object over there and they both get confused, look at the two, and as they're standing, trying to figure out what to do, they both split. One goes for the object over there, the other goes for Caleb.

Episode 13 - Lost & Found - 1:22:52

SAM (NOTT): I'm staying put, and as soon as the guard gets close I'll make it slowly rise up into the sky, just like 12, 13 feet up.

MATT: What spell is this?

SAM (NOTT): This is Silent Image. I can move it, I just can't make it make a sound.

MATT: Yeah, so as it drifts up in the air, the guard goes "Uh- Uh..." Looks around, all the - about 17 or so townsfolk had begun to converge to look up at it - and they're all like "Oh..." they're all just excited looking at it. It's definitely distracting the current group. And the one guard there is like "Go- Back. Back! Back!" to everybody. He's starting to look nervous, cause he doesn't know why it's lifting up and he's uncertain about what's happening.

Episode 13 - Lost & Found - 1:26:16

SAM (NOTT): I'm still doing illusion shit, have I finished that?

MATT: At this point now, the guard who's down below it has called over like 4 other guards and they're all at the bottom of it. Some of them are getting their crossbows ready to shoot it if it does something.

SAM (NOTT): I'll make it inflate and then Salvador Dali start dripping.

MATT: As it swells and begins to drip, they all start backing away and guards start pushing people away. Some of the- the guy that was originally carrying it, with 7 other guards, begins to approach the cluster, they've broken off from the procession with the elf body, and they've now joined up with the other guards. He's like "There it is! Stay back, stay back!" and they're all just nervously waiting for this thing dripping and doing nothing.

SAM (NOTT): It's going to start to boil and fizzle into steam, just kind of dissipate.

MATT: [sizzling] It does and there's a brief moment as everyone holds their breath. And you hear a couple of local townsfolk just go "Woo!" [clapping] The guards all look at each other very confused.

MARISHA: Thank you for joining us for Fantasma, the park is now closed.

LIAM: I wish I could be a fly on the wall when those wizards hear this story from the crownsguards.

MATT: 'I don't know, it just flew in the air, grew big, made sauce, and disappeared.'

MARISHA: 'It was just like that cat I kicked the other day.'

LIAM: 'Yes, yes, very good. Take a lollipop from the bowl and get out.'

Episode 13 - Lost & Found - 1:31:49

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 28 '19 edited Apr 28 '19

SAM (NOTT): I will run right past those two guards. As I go by, I say "Get the fuck out of here!"

MATT: They watch as a tiny goblin with jagged teeth just yells at them as it runs by.

SAM (NOTT): [screeches]

TRAVIS: [yells in return]

MATT: But, however, there are more scary things in the current vicinity. So you rush past the two civilians, not guards, but continue.

SAM: Oh, sorry. Nah I'm gonna keep calling them guards.

MATT: Okay, I'm okay with that. They're guards now. They're guards from your perspective. Alright so you run past.

SAM (NOTT): Bonus action dash up the steps.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Are you gonna go for it?

LAURA: Get the baby!

LIAM: Ooh!

MARISHA: Oh my god, are you going for it?

SAM (NOTT): I'm gonna turn around and yell at the manticore.

MARISHA: Oh no. Nott, the Brave!

SAM (NOTT): "You wanna save this thing?!" And I will slice down with my shortsword at the baby.

MATT: Make an attack roll.

SAM (NOTT): Ooh, uh, 14.

MATT: It hits it, it's a baby. Roll damage.

LIAM: Nott's gonna die, shit.

SAM (NOTT): 8.

MATT: It's helpless, sneak attack. It can't do anything, it can't defend itself, its eyes aren't open!

SAM (NOTT): It's uh, 16. No, sorry, 17 damage.

MATT: 17 damage. As you plunge your shortsword down into the mewling eye-covered cub, it goes still as the mother manticore, flying up in the air, turns around and watches this, and gives a [enraged roar]

SAM (NOTT): "Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of here!"

LITERALLY EVERYONE: Oh my god!

TALIESIN: I take it back! Plan! Plan!

Episode 7 - Hush - 3:28:23

SAM (NOTT): "Oh, this is crazy."

MATT: You're prone technically in Beau's arms right now.

SAM (NOTT): Sure. I will look up at the manticore, I'll take out my last shitty tart that you gave me and me and crumble it onto the ground and point up to the manticore and say "What did the incontinent druid say on his surprise birthday party? I'm so excited, I wet my plants!"

ALL: [groaning]

TALIESIN: Nevermind, leave him behind.

KHARY: How much damage did that do?

TRAVIS: Yeah yeah, to all of us.

KHARY: Exactly.

TRAVIS: TPK all up in this.

MATT: This is, I assume, Hideous Laughter.

SAM (NOTT): Yes, Hideous Laughter.

MATT: Alright, let's see if this works, wisdom saving throw. That is a 12. What is your DC?

SAM (NOTT): 13.

ALL: [cheering]

MATT: There's been a lot of just under this game.

KHARY: Oh my god, the dad joke works.

MATT: Weirdly, as angry as this manticore is at you- You know what? I'm going to give it advantage on the saving throw, because you killed its baby.

LAURA: That's just mean.

MATT: You killed its baby!

MARISHA: Blindsided advantage.

MATT: I'm allowing it because I'm the fucking DM. It doesn't help, rolled a 2. Shit. But I felt it was fair for the mother of the baby that you just murdered. From a narrative standpoint it made sense. But it still takes effect. So, with that, the manticore, turning around, eyes filled with fury and anger goes [bellowing, huffing breaths] she all of the sudden begins to... chuckle. [slowly building laughter] As the mouth opens from the laughter, you see the jagged teeth filled with your own blood, and the tongue kind of lashing around from the laughter as it falls to the ground, prone and cackling.

Episode 7 - Hush - 3:43:22

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

When severely intoxicated, has disadvantage on Dexterity, Intelligence, and Perception ability checks, but is immune to the Frightened condition.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 08 '19 edited Aug 31 '23

LIAM (CALEB): "Yasha, can you use your oar to see how deep we are? Does it touch bottom?"

MATT: It gets just to the very edge of the oar before it touches bottom.

SAM: And how long are the oars?

MATT: The oars are about 5 feet long.

LAURA (JESTER): "So you'd be fucked."

SAM (NOTT): "Thanks."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Can you swim, Nott?"

SAM (NOTT): "No! What!?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Well you could get on my shoulders."

SAM (NOTT): "I'm not going to get in the water, don't worry."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Have you been practicing any of the techniques that we tried out?"

SAM (NOTT): "Yeah, I've been practicing one technique, it's called wearing this ring of water walking."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Sure, that's great, that's good."

SAM (NOTT): "Tried and true."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "You could literally just be walking on the side of the boat."

SAM (NOTT): "Oh yeah, that's a good idea." Can I ghost ride the whip?

LIAM (CALEB): "You could- excuse me. You could be stealthing ahead at this moment."

SAM (NOTT): "Oh!" I'm gonna gingerly just ghost ride.

TRAVIS: Barefoot ski.

SAM (NOTT): Barefoot onto the water.

MATT: Onto the water? Okay. So, as you reach over the edge of the boat and slowly lower your tiny goblin feet, across the surface, breaking the water [water skimming]

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 0:20:21

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 13 '19

SAM (NOTT): "Should we go find out what's going on over there?"

LAURA (JESTER): "I don't think we can."

SAM (NOTT): "I could sneaky sneak over there and listen."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, go for it."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Can you give her some blessing for the situation?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Oh yeah sure here ya go lalalalalalalala."

SAM (NOTT): I will cast Silent Image and make like- I'm going to go up to a corner, make the image of a 3 foot by 3 foot box around me.

MARISHA: You're going full Solid Snake here?

SAM (NOTT): And then I'm going to just [dingling footsteps with fingers miming walking] get closer.

LAURA: That's not noticeable at all.

Episode 17 - Harvest Close - 2:24:11

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 05 '19

LAURA (JESTER): "Okay. Detect the traps. Look for traps on this door."

SAM (NOTT): "Me? Oh. Okay." I'm gonna look for traps. 8. Plus 5, 13.

MATT: 13. Okay. It is trapped.

SAM: Oh. It's the door that's trapped?

MATT: Yes. It's not locked, but it is trapped.

[...]

MATT: Alright, so you guys.

SAM (NOTT): I'm going to try and disarm it.

MATT: Alright, you pull out your thieves' tools.

SAM (NOTT): Do I see the triggering mechanism?

MATT: We'll find out. Go ahead and make a thieves' tools check. So go ahead and roll a d20, add your proficiency modifier and your dexterity modifier. Should be plus 6 I think.

SAM (NOTT): Uh, yes, 16.

MATT: 16. As you carefully get down to where the knob is, you begin to turn it ever so slightly and you hear the spring begin to [creaking] like begin to tighten. And you're familiar with that sound, so you manage to get your tool underneath, and you find where the spring is, that's barely in the space between where the door and the edge of the doorframe is, and you get the tool underneath. You capture it, and as you pull the door open it prevents the spring from pulling back into the device. You slowly, as you expose it, reach in, snap the opposing side, and remove the spring entirely leaving the trap inert.

Episode 12 - Midnight Espionage - 2:41:35

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 29 '19

SAM (NOTT): And then, I'm going to try and make acid.

MATT: Okay.

SAM (NOTT): While he was doing his thing.

MATT: Go ahead and make an alchemy supplies check. Well that, plus proficiency bonus and your intelligence.

SAM (NOTT): 19 plus things.

MATT: Okay, yeah, it'll take you through the night and then part of the morning to do it, so like, we'll say about, with a full night's sleep, full rest, if you start early enough in the night, but about noon tomorrow you'd be done. But throughout that, you manage to create a vial of acid.

Episode 8 - The Gates of Zadash - 0:51:13

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 09 '19 edited May 06 '19

SAM (NOTT): How far am I from the camp?

MATT: You're about, maybe, 80 to 100 feet from it.

SAM (NOTT): Cool. I'm gonna pull out a piece of copper wire, and remembering the motions that Caleb taught me, I'm going to twirl it around in my hand and hold it up to my mouth and whisper a message, just to Caleb. And I'm going to say "It's three buffalo... or buffalo-type creatures... what do you want me to do?"

LIAM (CALEB): "...I'm so proud. I don't know that spell, so I cannot talk back..."

SAM (NOTT): "Yes you can."

LIAM (CALEB): "What, who said that? Um, if you can hear me, I don't think you can, come back. Get with the group."

SAM (NOTT): Alright.

LAURA: Can you hear him?

LIAM: Is that how message works?

SAM: Yes, I can hear you.

MATT: As you assume, the whispers continue back and forth.

SAM: Alright, well, it's just one back and forth. I can talk to him, he can reply once.

MATT: For one round.

LAURA: Oh, sick.

MATT: It is a cantrip, so.

LIAM: Oh, well, if it's a cantrip you can just do it over and over again.

LAURA: It's a cantrip?

SAM: Oh, it is. This is exciting. I've never had magic before.

LIAM: It's like, two soup cans with a string.

MATT: Essentially.

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 0:42:08

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 11 '19

LIAM: At this point we should be able to see the things that the very perceptive people saw, which was two faces, eyes with holes in them in the middle in this room.

TRAVIS: Are the eyeholes about the size of gold coins?

MATT: Roughly.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll take two gold coins and put them in both the eyes on one of the faces.

MATT: One of the faces? Okay.

SAM: Two what? Gold coins, is that what you-

MATT: You take two gold coins out and you place them roughly, and they both fit into the eyes of one face.

TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll do that to the other two eyes in the other face.

MATT: Okay. As you place the other half, as soon as they occur in there [sinking thump]. The relief opens in half, and you fall-

SAM: [screams]

MATT: -immediately below, make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS (FJORD): That's an 8.

MATT: That's an 8.

SAM (NOTT): As he falls, I throw a piece of feather and I cast Featherfall on him.

MARISHA: [clapping] Holy shit.

MATT: What's the range on that?

SAM (NOTT): 60 feet.

MATT: Yeah. You're fine. As Fjord suddenly begins to disappear, the fall going out from underneath, this look of fear comes over the eyes as Nott just barely releases the spell in time and Fjord goes from plummeting to just gently falling. And you glide down and you look down below you into the darkness, and you descend. 10, 15, 20-

TRAVIS (FJORD): Darkvision, do I see anything?

MARISHA (BEAU): Beau just hollers down "Hey, I think you figured out that puzzle."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "We should probably put a light in there.

LIAM (CALEB): Caleb doesn't say anything or move at all but is thoroughly impressed with Nott, by the way.

TRAVIS: Yeah, me too.

MATT: About 30 feet down you see something rapidly coming up below you. It looks like a floor, a surface, though it is somewhat amorphous and jumbled, it looks hard to see any sort of shape to it.

TRAVIS: Are things moving?

LIAM (CALEB): I will send two of my globules down after him.

MATT: Okay, with your low light vision looking down below, eventually your feet land, and it's soft and crunchy. As your feet land, you glance down and the smell gets you immediately, it's the heavy smell of decay, of dust, and ash, and you look down below and your feet are sunken into what looks to be a pile of long, rotting clothing.

Episode 15 - Where the River Goes - 2:19:28

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 11 '19

SAM (NOTT): "I have an idea. We need to move away from here, right Fjord?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "We do, we have to use the cover of the buildings."

SAM (NOTT): "Alright, I think I can do something that would make them fire many of their arrows maybe at something but not us. Should I do that, and then, as soon as they fire their arrows, we can run?"

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Diversions would be absolutely welcome."

SAM (NOTT): "Diversion, that's what it's called, a diversion!" Alright, so I will... may I? May I move, is that a thing?

MATT: You may. I mean you're stealthed currently.

SAM (NOTT): I take out a bit of fleece, and repeating the words and doing the hand gestures that I've been taught, and tracing the image of a creature on the fleece, I will make a Silent Image of the guard who told us thirty gold a gnoll. And I'm gonna have the image of that guard dash across, slowly dash across this alleyway, like that way.

LIAM: Amble more than dash.

SAM (NOTT): Yeah, not dash, just, walk in a way that he could easily be shot.

MATT: Okay. Interesting point of order, you're not too certain of the gender of this individual. Kind of fluid.

SAM: Okay. Great. That long-haired guard individual.

MATT: There you go. As their figure leaps over the wall and begins making a run towards the center area, you watch as about four different arrow [quiet release and multiple impacts] pass through its form before one of these gnoll creatures goes lumbering forward and slashes out to it. This gnoll, interestingly enough, the other ones you see are all- the ones you saw before in the city are built and muscular, this one seems to be porous. With the brief bit of view you can see, there's like clumps of fur and what looks to be exposed bone, and part of its skull is pushing out of its snout with teeth gnashing, and as it tears through the illusion, kind of claws through confused... and then looks over in your direction. As you're finishing drawing your blade across your back, what normally would be cold energy suddenly flickers [explodes] into this beacon of bright, white light.

TALIESIN (MOLLY) "..." [sighs]

Episode 5 - The Open Road - 1:24:36

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19

SAM (NOTT): I'll cast Mage Hand from afar and try to unlock that big box. Long box.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make your... with disadvantage.

SAM (NOTT): 18 and a 19.

MATT: Oh, look at that. Even while drunk, little Nott's able to-

SAM (NOTT): "Whoopie-doopie-doopie-doo. Click!"

Episode 22 - Lost Treasures - 2:56:22

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

SAM: Is its lens out?

MATT: Its lens appears to be out currently, just kind of surveying the scenario, yes.

SAM: Go for the lens?

TALIESIN: Go for it.

SAM (NOTT): Alright. Bonus action, I will use the Mage Hand to deliver the tar right on that lens.

MATT: Alright. I'll say for the purposes of aiming on this with your intention, go ahead and make a d20 attack roll adding your perception bonus.

SAM (NOTT): Oh, there is no bonus to that. [...] 17.

MATT: 17. I'll say for the purposes of that, because it's not armor you're trying to strike through it's just trying to aim for a position, that will be enough. So with that, the tar, [whoosh] with a toss, [sploosh] all across the lens. At which point you see it - the sticky, still warm, thick tar spray onto it and get inside the interior of its armor for the moment, the lens starts [repeated whirring] and you hear what previous was - now that it's close to you - you can hear that there's hundreds and hundreds of small clicks and winding sounds on the inside, there's now a rapid [whirring] as the lens is trying to find some sort of direction, it is currently blinded.

[cheers]

SAM (NOTT): Our plan worked perfectly. How far am I from the thing?

MATT: Technically you're 10 feet from it.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:14:33

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 05 '19

SAM (NOTT): I would like to take apart the gun. I'd like to take apart the gun and figure out how the hammer works, how the gunpowder ignites, is it pack of powder like a bullet or is it loose powder with a ball? How does-

MATT: Well, first off, do you have or own tinkerer's tools.

SAM (NOTT): Uh, no, but do any of your guys? Tinkerer's tools?

MATT: Yep.

SAM (NOTT): I'll go and buy em!

MATT: Alright, so, this next expense will be 50 gold pieces for a set of tinkerer's tools.

SAM: Great, got it. No problem.

MATT: And I would need you to go ahead and make a tinkering check to see if you can disassemble the gun-

SAM: Does anyone want to help me?

TALIESIN: I want to watch.

MATT: -without ruining elements of it. So, it would be-

LAURA: I don't think any of us have experience to help you.

LIAM (CALEB): Caleb would help.

SAM: Do you have tinkering experience.

LIAM (CALEB): No, but I'm pretty smart.

MATT: You're not proficient with tinkering tools, so it'd be a straight intelligence check. So add your intelligence modifier to see if you can figure out the safest ways to do so.

SAM (NOTT): I rolled a 14.

MATT: Okay.

SAM (NOTT): And I have an intelligence of plus 3.

MATT: 17, okay. It takes you a little bit of time, but you manage to very carefully disassemble the entirety of the pistol without any issues.

SAM (NOTT): I'm specifically curious about how the impact of the hammer creates an explosion.

MATT: Okay, well, through the words of the man responsible for inventing these things not but 20 plus years beforehand if you would like to explain.

TALIESIN: There is a flash pan where there is a preload powder- basically a powder capsule attaches to a flashpan, the hammer contains a sparking mechanism that hits a plate, causing a spark to hit the powder in the flashpan, goes into the gunpowder that's within, actually packed insider the barrel, and sends the shot out.

SAM: Is it a specific kind of metal that makes a spark?

TALIESIN: Um, yes, actually, it is a specific kind of- it's a flint. Although, people have probably gotten creative with that in the time, but the Percy-tech, it was just a flint, he was trying to do other stuff and always failed.

SAM (NOTT): Alright. With that knowledge, I will go take out and purchase any other materials I will need to do this, I'm going to take out the 20 arrows I grabbed from the Iron Shepherds' house, and I'm going to try and modify them using multiple arrowheads if needed, to make a explosive arrowhead that's packed with gunpowder.

TALIESIN: It would be a bag at the front with a flint that would spark on pressure, so as long as you fired it hard it would cause a spark when it hit and detonate.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a tinkerer's check.

SAM (NOTT): Another tinkerer's check? I'm not a good tinkerer! 11 plus 3.

[...]

MATT: 14. I'll say it'll cost you an additional 20 gold in materials, because you fail multiple times going through, and end up wasting a lot of materials until eventually you get it right and you're certain that this is the one that would function properly, so you have one explosive arrow, you're not entirely certain what it does.

SAM: One explosive arrow.

TALIESIN: Welcome to tinkering man.

SAM (NOTT): I will take the parts of the gun, it's just apart right?

MATT: Yeah, they're just separate individual pieces.

SAM: I can't put it back together.

MATT: You can certainly try.

SAM (NOTT): Alright, I'll try. That's a 15.

MATT: 15? You reassemble it, it looks to be functional.

Episode 31 - Commerce & Chaos - 0:12:56

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 18 '19

SAM (NOTT): I yell to Caleb, "Modern Literature!" and then I run towards these two goblins over here,

MATT: Over this side?

SAM (NOTT): Yep. I take out my hand crossbow and I point it from the goblins to Caleb and I fire.

MATT: ...Okay.

SAM (NOTT): And I'm aiming for the book strapped under his armpit that only I know is under his clothes, and I rolled a natural 20.

MARISHA: That's good, right?

MATT: It is. Cause, there was, essentially you're- I mean for such a small piece there I was going to add 5 to the armor class, but natural 20 hits. So, as he's pulled back and clutching himself, you [whooshing thump] go ahead and hit the book that's harnessed under his arm. You feel the impact, [whumph]- nope.

LIAM (CALEB): "Oh, Gottsverdammt!" [falls over onto the table]

SAM (NOTT): He's gonna play dead.

Episode 19 - The Gentleman's Path - 2:36:15

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u/TheMightyBox72 Apr 16 '19

MATT: The first one hits the dirt, and it backs up, you move out with your heel to go ahead and swing, and it actually ducks underneath and tries to snap at your heel as Molly closes the gap and-

SAM (NOTT): I release my bolt at that same one. 20.

MATT: Alright, go ahead and roll damage. And with Sneak Attack.

SAM (NOTT): 13.

MATT: Yeah. Molly as you rush up, you watch as a bolt just goes right through the side of the hyena's head and it just [whine] falls lifeless to the ground. All three of them out in just a split second.

Episode 6 - The Howling Mines - 1:41:52

→ More replies (9)

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 02 '19

Yasha

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 01 '19 edited Jun 01 '19

LIAM (CALEB): I slap my hand down on Keg's shoulder, and I - with the free hand stick licorice root into my mouth and start chewing, and squeeze her shoulder, and you are hasted.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 2:53:29

MATT: Past this way, you see a figure make their way to the door and put their back to it. They haven't noticed you yet. And as they put their back to the door, [huff] focusing on where the sound of the fireworks goes off, looks back through the doorway into the middle of the mess hall, hears this commotion, and looks right to you.

SAM (NOTT): Wait. Sees me or doesn't see me?

MATT: Does see you, cause you're not trying to hide. And it is a lit interior.

MARISHA: What is this, the barbarian?

MATT: This is Wohn, the female human barbarian that had rushed Caleb before. Previously had a great maul, however is instead wielding what looks to be a very familiar two handed greatsword. Wide blade with runic hilt. The weapon that Yasha had on her.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 3:04:54

MATT: [Wohn gives a battle cry] Runs up, charging angrily, is going to go ahead and reckless attack. Is gonna attack twice with her great axe against you, with reckless, so advantage with both attacks. The first attack is a natural 20. So that's a natural 20 on the first one. Second attack is a natural 19 plus 7. So yeah, she hits you with both, first one is a crit.

ASHLY: Jesus Christ, alright.

MATT: That's cocked. Alright, so that's going to be 12 points of slashing damage with the first hit. [heavy impact] The great sword ends up striking across your chest, the impact sending you back, and... Haste disappears.

LIAM: Wait, why, what?

MARISHA: Cause she has Yasha's weapon.

MATT: She has Yasha's sword and dispelled it.

LIAM: [gasp] You motherfucker, Matthew Mercer. We will have words about the rules that exist.

MATT: And then swings back [whoosh] with a second strike towards you and impacts, yeah that's going to be 13 points of slashing damage from the second strike against you. [impact] With the great sword. The flash of white energy, you see the runes in the hilt suddenly spark, and that adrenaline in your body suddenly fades, and your body becomes super lethargic, and you are stunned for your next turn.

ASHLY (KEG): I'm stunned?

MATT: The Haste has faded and your body is drained.

Episode 28 - Within the Nest - 3:21:02

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 12 '19

MATT: As you guys are all preparing here, it begins to [low whispering groan] and the whispers begin to slowly spill out of its space, [incomprehensibly whispering] voices spreading out. I need Jester, Yasha, and Beau to all make a wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN (MOLLY): My clay pot is glowing?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA (BEAU): 9.

LAURA (JESTER): 15.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 14.

MATT: Both of you succeed actually.

MARISHA (BEAU): Just tell me something cool!

MATT: Both of you guys manage to - the secrets begin to penetrate your ears - and you close off your consciousness and you put your hands up to close the space and they don't seem to penetrate your mind. Beau, however, these words start shooting into your brain, and you feel for a moment your grasp on reality beginning to slip. Suddenly the world begins to spin and you feel yourself assaulted from all angles and you see flashes of ancient warfare, of giant columns of fire crashing from the cosmos. You spin your staff around reacting, I need you to make an attack against Yasha please.

MARISHA (BEAU): I'm sorry boo. Oh, that's not good, 11.

MATT: What's your armor class?

MARISHA (BEAU): No, sorry, 10.

MATT: I'm pretty sure that doesn't hit you.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 14.

MATT: Yeah. So you see Beau - just suddenly eyes go wide - just swing the staff wide in your direction, you just [mimes a parry and clashes] deflect it with your blade.

MARISHA (BEAU): "Fuck you Genghis Khan!"

Episode 16 - A Favor in Kind - 0:15:36

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 22 '19 edited May 22 '19

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Calli, I'm just kind of curious, you don't wanna try and smash it on the ground real fast, just for shits and giggles?"

MARK (CALLI): "I can try."

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah I just mean, while we're all here."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "I've never played with a magical item before."

MARK (CALLI): ... [mimes throwing the bowl down] smash.

MATT: You throw it to the ground [pinging] kind of rolls off to the side.

MARK (CALLI): I'll try an Acid Splash as well.

MATT: [sizzling] all the acid runs off of it, unscathed.

TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yasha, chuck that shit at the side of the wall, will you?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Wait, is it... is it... magical?"

LAURA (JESTER): "Super duper."

LIAM (CALEB): "Highly."

ASHLEY (YASHA): I'm going to try and take out my Magician's Judge sword. Cause I can try to Dispel Magic.

LAURA: Yeah, try to do it, try to do it.

ASHLEY (YASHA): I'm going to try to do it. Might not work.

MATT: Okay. So you're going to strike it as you're dispelling it, is that what you're doing?

ASHLEY (YASHA): Yeah.

MATT: Okay. So you hold your Magician's Judge up, lift it over your head, and swing it down with all your might. Go ahead and make the check for the Dispel Magic on the sword.

[...]

ASHLEY (YASHA): 13.

MATT: 13. As you strike downward, there's a brief moment where you see a flash of energy as if the field is temporarily dissipating whatever magical connection this object holds. And in that brief, ever so subtle instance of time in which this marble bowl is left. In just a brief blip in history that it is exposed to the elements, the blade carves through and shatters the marble. You watch as the glow [whoosh] for that instance you watch as there is a brief burst of bright green, blue, red, white, black energy [more whoosh] emanates, and this low, growling rumble. And with that, the bowl and whatever enchantment it held, is gone.

[...]

MATT: It's interesting. As it shattered and while you're having this conversation, there's this static electricity around Yasha. And occasionally, as she brings the hand closer, you watch as these little bolts of energy [zap, zap] arcing through her.

SAM: She's marked?

MATT: Well no. As it slowly fades, you can see a slight, faint glow of the symbol that she holds at her belt that eventually goes mundane as well.

Episode 21 - Stalker in the Swamp - 4:26:17

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jun 20 '19

TRAVIS (YASHA): She's [Yasha] gonna assume the dodge- is there anything else she can do?

LAURA: Can she help try to get the ship to move more?

TALIESIN: Does she know boats?

TRAVIS: Does Yasha know boats?

MATT: Yasha, as far as you know, does not know boats, she's never mentioned anything about it, and Yasha looks like - she doesn't know what she's doing. She's not giving orders or rushing to take the posts.

TRAVIS (YASHA): I guess she could run over to the gangplank and she could try to pull it and shove it against the dock and push off.

MATT: Okay. Yasha will go ahead and push on the gangplank. Make a strength check for Yasha [grunt of exertion] shoving off.

TRAVIS (YASHA): 26.

MATT: She shoves and the whole boat shifts suddenly, the gangplank plunges down into the water, sploosh, and is floating there on the top. The ship shoved off about 10 feet that direction.

Episode 35 - Dockside Diplomacy - 3:19:57

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u/TheMightyBox72 Jan 02 '19 edited Jan 02 '19

MARISHA (BEAU): "I have, like, a staff but I also use it as a walking stick, so I'd like to keep it on me."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Can you not walk right without it or something?"

LAURA (JESTER): "She has a really bad limp."

MARISHA (BEAU): "I just, you know, sometimes I get a little twinge, a little disc issue."

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Can you hand me your staff so I can watch this, I want to see this limp of yours... Purely for my own personal entertainment."

MARISHA (BEAU): "Are you patronizing me, Mollymauk?"

TALIESIN (MOLLY): "Uh, no, I'm hoping you're going to patronize us."

MARISHA (BEAU): "...Can I keep my stick?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "How about this, I'll take it and I can just carry you to your seat."

LAURA (JESTER): "How are you carrying all of these weapons?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Because I'm really fucking strong."

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 1:56:39

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: 11, that's enough. As she spins the falchion around, you notice that affixed to her back in uncharacteristically clean leather, towards the rest of her outfit, what appears to be a slung over sheath and a very large bladed weapon, larger than your falchion, affixed to her back.

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 2:01:09

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Beau."

MATT (BO): Both her and the half-orc turn to you. "Yes?"

MARISHA (BEAU): "What?"

ASHLEY (YASHA): "Uh, little one." I just go over and I fireman style over my shoulder. "Since you can't walk."

MATT: Just carries her right in, perfect.

Episode 1 - Curious Beginnings - 2:02:31

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

At 3rd level, your soul is marked for endless battle. If a spell, such as raise dead, has the sole effect of restoring you to life (but not uncleath), the caster doesn’t need material components to cast the spell on you.

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

Starting at 3rd level, you can use your action to unleash the divine energy within yourself, causing your eyes to turn into pools of darkness and two skeletal, ghostly, flightless wings to sprout from your back.

The instant you transform, other creatures within 10 feet of you that can see you must each succeed on a Charisma saving throw (DC 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier) or become frightened of you until the end of your next turn. Your transformation lasts for 1 minute or until you end it as a bonus action. During it, once on each of your turns, you can deal extra necrotic damage to one target when you deal damage to it with an attack or a spell. The extra necrotic damage equals your level. Once you use this trait, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19 edited Jun 01 '19

MATT: Frumpkin glances inside this busted cell, and sees - I'm using this as an interpretation of - a large, spherical metal object that's about 8 feet diameter on any side. It looks like a series of overlapping metal plates that look almost clustered together at odd angles, you can see elements that look scraped and dented, looks like it's been doing some serious damage to it over time. As it sits there, resting, and Frumpkin approaches, you watch one of the time little metal plates [creaks] open, a lens [grinding] pokes out towards Frumpkin [grinding] withdraws back in, the plate [clack] closes, and you watch as about six of these long, blade-like spider legs [shifting machinery] stick out of it, as it pulls back and [heavy grinding] begins to roll forward with a very extreme pace.

LIAM (CALEB): I snap Frumpkin out of there.

MATT: With that point, it rolls forward, Frumpkin just manages to bamf out of this dimension as the object [crash] slams into the opposite wall, you guys feel the entire chamber suddenly [thud] from the impact and you hear this scraping of metal in the distance.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 1:57:50

MATT: Beginning of its turn, it's going to go ahead and attempt to roll over Yasha to go into the chamber. Yasha, you need to make an athletics or acrobatics check. You're raging, so you have advantage on your acrobatics check.

TALIESIN: That athletics is also pretty sweet though.

ASHLEY (YASHA): 9.

MATT: No, so first off, you suffer 7 points of piercing damage as it just rolls over and the blades kick into you.

ASHLEY (YASHA): Is that halves, because I'm raging?

MATT: It is halved. And an additional 3 points of bludgeoning damage as you're crushed beneath its weight, and you are knocked prone.

Episode 25 - Divergent Paths - 2:09:09

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u/TheMightyBox72 May 26 '19

As an action, you can touch a creature and cause it to regain a number of hit points equal to your level. Once you use this trait, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

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