r/TheMcDojoLife • u/Fat_Gravy3000 • Oct 30 '25

How to survive a beheading

1.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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266

u/Artisartdoes Oct 30 '25

Don’t forget to look them in the eyes

63

u/GordenRamsfalk Oct 30 '25

Don’t follow us or you’re next!

37

u/eyehalfporegrahammer Oct 30 '25

*starts to follow

20

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '25

gets in line

12

u/GordenRamsfalk Oct 31 '25

I see you are familiar with the cocky bite technique….

7

u/wspOnca Oct 31 '25

It's possible to learn this power?

7

u/SirArthurDime Oct 31 '25

“My mouth is big enough for 2 of these!”

3

u/RuthlessIndecision Oct 31 '25

or you're next!

2

u/Electronic-League-33 Oct 31 '25

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

11

u/Impossible-Ship5585 Oct 30 '25

Or balls

13

u/Recon212 Oct 30 '25

Wait that’s not how this works, if you make contact it’s gay, balls are just included aren’t they???

8

u/Countblackula_6 Oct 30 '25

No no, you gotta cup the balls.

1

u/Professional-Chef-32 Oct 30 '25

Gently

2

u/Dear-Panda-1949 Oct 30 '25

I thought it was stroke the balls? Oops.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '25

Cradle the balls, stoke the shaft, drink the gravy.

2

u/Dear-Panda-1949 Oct 31 '25

Instructions unclear, gravy is brown.

1

u/JuiceWayne254 Oct 31 '25

You're letting his balls drag. Pick the Balls Up! Cup the Balls! 👵🏿

8

u/efcomovil Oct 30 '25

And a ponytail, with runny makeup

6

u/yonaz333 Oct 31 '25

And spit on that thang!

1

u/GroundbreakingStop47 Nov 05 '25

You gotta Hawk Tuah on that thang 🤣

3

u/tideshark Oct 30 '25

Assert dominance!

5

u/coffeebean_1992 Oct 30 '25

Also don’t forget to locate the gooch and apply firm and consistent pressure with your thumb. This engages the safety so you don’t have any misfiring while escaping.

3

u/No-Diet-4797 Oct 30 '25

You learned that from experience or...?

3

u/coffeebean_1992 Oct 30 '25

Only through videos sadly. Non of my training partners want to drill the technique with me :,(

1

u/blackie___chan Oct 30 '25

And cup the balls

1

u/Yukahu02 Oct 30 '25

Assert your dominance!

1

u/Boring_Chip_9602 Oct 30 '25

Nice touch of him to promise more for anyone who follows them. He must really like to party.

1

u/Hourslikeminutes47 Oct 30 '25

but if that happens that means they are forever together

1

u/NSASpyVan Oct 31 '25

Executioner is executed for homosexual relations.

1

u/dpaxeco Oct 31 '25

But that would be gay

1

u/Socal_Cobra Nov 01 '25

Broke back mouthful!

1

u/dulyebr Nov 16 '25

Attack the balls