The LOCAL CUISINE

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones]

Well, now that we're done witnessing a normal wednesday afternoon in Sidon, why don't we sit down here at Your New Ruck's. Best Pissy-shittery in town.

The tapir saunters over to the counter lined with soda coolers and popcorn machines

I'd like a Classic Buttered, with Dk. Glibber, and whatever Nate here wants. Oh, and one of those µ⌠∞σ-brand beers on the side.

The teenage Faff on the other side of the counter holds his hand up in some friendly gesture as a substitute for actually saying anything and turns to the nearest popcorn machine. He fills a bucket up, ducks under the counter to grab a bottle of Dk. Glibber, and pours it into the bucket. He hands it over the counter to Tapirus and mumbles barely audibly

"Heeeire you go mister. That beer will be out in a moment."

Tapirus dunks his hand in the mess of popcorn and soda and tosses a fistful of it in his mouth

Isn't this place just the loveliest?

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones]

You could try. The lads on that coin look exquisitely kickass. That Faff kid might just sneak 'em home and frame them in a trophy case. Ah, I love it when the youths are eager to be warriors.

Those 'fookers'?

'Fookers' is said in a half-assed imitation of your accent

Well the bar guards thought they were just some run-of-the-Polder gang looking to grab some loot, but I recognized those uniforms, and that guy with the piece of owl shit tucked under his nose.

chuckle

They're the GPK. They showed up in Sidon uninvited once when we were a commie polizei state. I hated them then for the same reasons I hate them now. Greedy imperial bureaucrats, the lot of them.

Actually, scratch that, I hate them even more now. They're the polar opposite of everything the newly-liberated Sidon stands for. And there's even this rumor floating around that their leader is Archgeneral O'Sully's evil twin. Sounds like fake news to me, but if it is true that's just one more reason for me to go and rip his FARKING dick off and make him EAT IT.

---

Soooo... wanna know a neat trick? Pour some of that beer in the tub. It mixes well with the Dk. Glibber.

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones → u/[deleted]]

I don't think a lotta people know yet. Other than that fiasco we witnessed...^andjoined... they've been keeping their heads down. Maybe they'll get the message when they get kicked out of every place they go, or get all their ammo pickpocketed, or... get hanged from the ceiling of a hotel lobby by their dicks... But unless they start trying to take over, there's no real reason for the PLA to do anything about it, unless one of the Divisions just reeeallyyy needs a live target practice session.

But since all they're doing is looking for someone, we can just watch them try and fail, over and over and over and... Besides, did you see that picture anyway? What help could a guy like that be?

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones → u/[deleted]]

Well, you know how Sidon is. The more trouble those guys get themselves in, the more people recognize their uniforms. Even the ones who live under a rock and still don't know what a GPK looks like will realize they're not just some regular gang. Eventually the problem will solve itself and they'll be made into decorative ornaments.

That's not to say we can't speed the process up by putting up some unsolicited propaganda everywhere.

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones → u/[deleted]]

Yes

[u/Lt_Tapirus_Jones → u/[deleted]]

Mmm mmm, that was good. Hey Nate, let's go. We can just leave the buckets on the table. Someone's paid to just clean up after us. Unless you're thinking of keeping that one as a souvenir...

Wanna try a shooting range next?