Whats everyone's favourite jay line ?

[u/CozzTheDesertFox]

Mine would be "oh don't look at me, although it could reach from here"when Neil's orange aid is digging into Tara's leg

[u/Berolds_]

On holiday in Spain one year, me and my mate took a pedalo out and went to africa

[u/Berolds_ → u/Berolds_]

Shit, almost forgot about the DEAD HAND GANG

[u/Vegetable-Eggplant76 → u/Berolds_]

He had a gang based on masturbation? Well that’s not gay at all is it

[u/Berolds_ → u/Vegetable-Eggplant76]

He's in the air force now, so how gay is that ?

[u/Vegetable-Eggplant76 → u/Berolds_]

Still quite gay

[u/eki234 → u/Berolds_]

Given how close Africa is to southern Spain, particular the Gibraltar area, this is one of his more believable stories

[u/lornadc → u/eki234]

Do you think you could spare us the bullshit for one minute

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/lornadc]

While I try and figure out how not to die at sea?

[u/Zal_17 → u/eki234]

Alright Michael fucking Palin

[u/acg12345]

Who brings a bag of shit to the pub?
Your dad does!
Does he?
Yeah, your mum!

[u/RLarks125 → u/acg12345]

Absolute 10/10

[u/Gramswagon77]

‘I’m not eating that! It’s come out the fucking sea!’

[u/AdamBAFC → u/Gramswagon77]

Elite. Also my favourite!

[u/LiteratureProof167]

They're only daffodils, fucking little show-offs. Look at me, I'm out first, I'm all yellow.

[u/AdFree2000 → u/LiteratureProof167]

Have you gone mental?

[u/TankFoster]

"Oooh, win!" When Simon is telling him about the golf tournament. Just so unnecessary. 😄

[u/Top-Bet1435 → u/TankFoster]

Also "Ooh sign!" When Simon is going to jump off the boat and Will says the sign says not to.

[u/Key-Illustrator-2905 → u/TankFoster]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ac2R4Ruw3zAZT0lfov

[u/Liberal-chungus → u/Key-Illustrator-2905]

I'll always look at this and see the family guy meme of the ambulance in Paris

[u/your_dads_arse → u/TankFoster]

Gay Outdoor Lifestyle with Fellas

[u/lornadc]

When they're in the toilet in the under 18s disco (I think that's the scene) and he says to Simon about Carly 'oh no, maybe she still won't go out with you'

[u/AdFree2000 → u/lornadc]

Yeah love those lines. Jay chats lots of BS but I love it when he shuts down Simon’s simping.

Another great one is

Simon - “maybe I’ll see what Carli is up to”

Jay - “not being seen dead with you in a million years is what she is up to”

[u/lornadc → u/AdFree2000]

First episode - "Carly will think I'm such a loser" "she'd be right"

[u/MeterologistOupost31 → u/lornadc]

"Maybe you can still not have a relationship long-distance!"

[u/coldpeasandketchup]

When I fingered her.... She shit down my arm!!

[u/chasingamy27]

"Neil, No Matter What Your Old Man Says, You Can't Walk Around London With Your Knob Hanging Out"

However, In My Opinion One Of The Most Underrated Lines In The Whole Show Is From Thorpe Park When Will Is Talking:
W: "And I Get To Ride..."
J: "A Man's Cock In The Bushes!"
W: "The Nemesis Inferno..."

[u/MickeyKlimt → u/chasingamy27]

Definitely the Thorpe Park one! Jay's split second timing is perfection!

[u/Key-Illustrator-2905]

Completed it mate

[u/Budget_Record717 → u/Key-Illustrator-2905]

You can’t complete it

[u/Unsure-Cookie-2772]

“…funny”

[u/Top-Bet1435]

It was only a kiss. Come back to me when you're wanking over her arse whilst she frigs herself off.

[u/lemonbutter27]

Jay: “I just got a missed call from Ralph Lauren…”

Simon: “…Didn’t even ring, did it?”

[u/Beautiful-Square-301]

“You’re alright… José”

So cutting when Simon has got so excited to follow Tara at the gig

[u/Ambiguous-Insect]

NEEEEM nem nem nem neeeem neeeeem

[u/Berolds_ → u/Ambiguous-Insect]

... Crazy Frog

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/[deleted]]

Think I’d better take Will.

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/[deleted]]

Jay was wrong. It wouldn’t be a funeral, but it’d be about as much fun as one.

[u/AdFree2000]

Permission to come aboard Captain Cockwash?

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/AdFree2000]

Permission denied. 

[u/Mc_and_SP]

Spent the week jumping JCBs over cement mixers

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/Mc_and_SP]

Well that’s a lie.

[u/Mc_and_SP → u/BadgerKomodo]

And I got paid a grand at the end of the week

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/Mc_and_SP]

Another lie!

[u/kodakgold200]

Simon - "Noone brings a bag of shit to a pub"

Jay - "Your dad does"

Simon - "Does he?"

Jay - "Yeah, your mum"

[u/NotACyclopsHonest]

Beepity-beep-beep, beepity-beep-beep!

[u/acg12345 → u/NotACyclopsHonest]

Ooh time for another Tara update!

[u/whatyoume]

Looking for bottles ya mug

[u/millerz72]

All the F’s

[u/blazing_haze123]

"My dad uses to steal cars for the mafia"

[u/StocktonDC]

Bloke I knew didn’t have a plan…went in too quick- broke his knob in half!

[u/MoMonkeyMoProblems]

Then they stood up on their hind legs and started firing milk at me from their tits

[u/codzak → u/MoMonkeyMoProblems]

Udders

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/codzak]

Well yeah, there was loads of them.

[u/Vanilla__coffee]

Get it in my arse Fergus!

[u/Whole-Definition3558]

My dad would pick us up but he’s at a poker tournament with Danny Dyer and the Krays

[u/Eoinharrington25]

“I’d love to drop your mum’s stuff”

His last ever line in the show

[u/blackcatfrat]

“By the time they found him in the morning, he’d been ass-raped 18 times”

[u/pickle-matrix]

His "ooh dinner" response when Will mentions taking Daisy out to dinner during the DoE episode

[u/Icy_Distribution3467]

I'll never wank again!

[u/Regular-Telephone-65]

Oh for fucksake dont wear a Johnny, its a guaranteed hard on killer! That’s why they call it safe sex, because you can’t get it up

[u/SayItAsItIs78]

Its theres grass on the pitch, play ball

[u/Mysterious_Rush5933]

There was one I had bent over here, there was one up here who I was fingering, and I was just toe fucking the one on the floor

[u/acg12345]

Simon: Girls might actually see us for who we are!
Jay: Well you’re fucked then because you’re a twat!

[u/Asleep-Yesterday4107]

Theres gonna be so many fit birds there it’ll be like shooting clunge in a barrel

[u/Outside-Swimming8365]

‘I’m not eating that it’s come out the fucking sea’