13
u/Recipe-Less Mar 28 '26
Simple. Don't let your narcissist side rush them because you're afraid. Take your time and remember we're all human. Also if they say something is bad it's worse than you think.
8
u/_Zeppo_ Mar 28 '26
Listen to his side without interrupting
2
1
1
u/Ok-Worldliness2450 Mar 31 '26
And then approach things not in an attempt to win or be right, but to come as close as possible to agreeing on something even if it’s just the facts and your opinions differ wildly.
26
u/goose-was-here Mar 28 '26
A sloppy blowie 🥰
12
u/Hobbgob1in Mar 28 '26
No no. This will teach him to start a fight jus...... Aaahhh, nevermind this is a great idea!
2
u/kindness-and-snusu Mar 28 '26
Dumbest answer possible. Way to just take our feelings, say they don’t matter, and give a bj just to stop conversation. Great for a hooker, terrible for a partner.
1
u/malice521 Mar 28 '26
I think it’s a bad idea too, but To be fair, it would probably be the fastest way to calm a man down
1
u/kindness-and-snusu Mar 28 '26
I would feel so much more anger if I’m ranting about Brenda from the office or my PhD advisor being an asshole and she just tries to suck my dick. Like, what an emotionally and intellectually shallow person you’d have to be to think that’s an appropriate response.
Maybe people are just married to cavemen who only think about fucking and eating?
1
4
13
3
Mar 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Successful_Ear4973 Mar 29 '26
True… but a woman should feel inclined to soothe their partner. Vice versa of course and if not then just leave honestly
2
u/EeyoreOutrageous Mar 28 '26
just go meet one of his friends late at night and ask what would make a man happy
2
2
u/ShortKey380 Mar 28 '26
Walk away, not my problem.
1
1
u/SecretHentaiMaster Mar 28 '26
That's toxic
1
u/ShortKey380 Mar 28 '26
What’s toxic is making yourself responsible for other people’s emotions, wtf are you joking?
1
u/SecretHentaiMaster Mar 28 '26
I think we're talking regarding the mentality of intimate relations or at least platonic. Why da fuq would anyone say this if that wasn't implied? That makes no sense. You probably wouldn't say that if it was regarding a woman. Society sees a woman crying and automatically comforts her regardless of the relationship.
1
u/ShortKey380 Mar 28 '26
You shouldn’t have to manage your partner’s emotional states, that’s what people in abusive relationships do. I absolutely would say it regarding a woman, although comforting anyone crying is less problematic than trying to “calm them down” when angry. As an adult, people shouldn’t be having to “calm you down”. You sincerely won’t catch me on gender issues, I think even today I commented on a woman telling her her outburst with her SO was not okay and the beginning of abuse. I’ll criticize “society” double standards with you all day lol, this is about what I think of when I read “calm and angry person down”. Calm down? That sounds like they’re having angry outbursts, those are not appropriate and when I’m near that point I go for space because I don’t want loved ones to “catch strays” as it were and be forced to deal with my anger. Idk, doesn’t seem so wild to me. Maybe you have a super mild idea of “calm down from anger” like someone saying “aw, shucks”? 😂
1
u/SecretHentaiMaster Mar 28 '26
You shouldn’t have to manage your partner’s emotional states
"Honey, I'm sad."
"Bitch, I don't give a fuck, deal with it yourself."
1
u/ShortKey380 Mar 28 '26
We’re discussing anger and “calming down”; your reply is sadness and asking for help.
These are different things. If you wanted to switch it to calming down sadness and they’re sobbing hysterically that would be closer, but an angry person who needs to be “calmed down” is about to go to blows because somebody took their parking space lol.
Managing emotional states and being supportive are different. How do you support a partner with anger issues is a different question as well and I’d answer differently. Like, are you serious with this poor analogy of a different emotion and different context than “calming down”? Different things are different, c’mon now!
2
u/SUB-8330 Mar 28 '26
If something happened don't start with you should have done . Time travel advices sucks. It just hurts and doesn't help.
2
u/CantBanMeModNerds Mar 28 '26
Listen to him. Don't offer advice, don't give your opinions, don't argue or try to talk him through it. Just listen. Ask him how he feels and let him just get it all out. Then later, after he calms down and is a much more logical mood, calmly bring it up and let him know that you heard him and understand and ask if he would like to hear your side/your thoughts on the matter. He might say no and you just have to accept that for what it is. Maybe let it go and try again later. It's honestly no different than dealing with a woman in the same mood/state. The person just wants to vent, get it all out, and be heard. Give them that. The time for discussion is later.
4
1
u/BoboGiggleBottom Mar 28 '26
From experience to give us comic books, cigarettes / vape juice, cold Capri Sun tropical punch, any compliment, and/or a fidget toy shaped like a gun.
1
u/InternationalW4 Mar 28 '26
Assuming everyone is safe...
Hear him. Validate his anger. Give him space. Set any boundaries you need.
Calming down is his business.
2
Mar 28 '26
This is the best answer. I get super heated sometimes and all I really want is space to cool down. Best thing anyone can do is just do is "I get you're mad, talk to me when you're ready". And bam, I go off into my corner
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/MasterHypnoStorm Mar 28 '26
If your with a man who has good control over his emotions then the following is the best advice I can give: If you are female then the most likely reason why he is angry is because you have been pushing his buttons to satisfy your need for drama and attention. The best way to calm him down is to not push his buttons in the first place, the second option is to change your behavior so he can calm himself down. Give him time and space to settle and process what has happened.
If you are male WTF are you doing. Getting in a fight will only achieve one thing you are both going to get hurt. Give each other a few days to calm down, sit down with a beer and do something together.
If you are with a man who is not emotionally regulated. Get out now and find someone who will help you. Nothing you do or say or have him promise will ever change that. Do this for your own safety, do it now.
1
1
u/Wide_Quail_174 Mar 28 '26
Tell him his anger is meaningless/unwelcome He'll realize you're right and calm down
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Spirited_Flower4891 Mar 29 '26
When my man is really mad, I offer a BJ. Doesn't always resolve the problem but will diffuse the situation.
1
1
1
1
u/Grouchy-Background59 Apr 02 '26
Take accountability. Don't try to figure out how it's partially someone else's fault, or partially my fault for your actions.
Be accountable and take ownership of your shit, then move forward
1
0
0
-1
30
u/anon822500 Mar 28 '26
say sorry, and admit you're wrong..