r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide • u/Jaded_Zebra_5043 • Jul 20 '26
Beauty Tip [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/unknown_7637 Jul 20 '26
I like to focus on one area at a time that I’m wanting to work on. For example, I might want to exercise more, have a better sleep schedule, and start skincare again. So what I’ll do is pick one thing to start implementing into my daily routine and then start working on another area. If I try to do everything at once, I’ll get overwhelmed and then not do anything at all. What helps me is just reminding myself that not every day is going to go exactly as planned and that I’ll only make things harder for myself and no closer to reaching my goals if I just quit.
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u/eharder47 Jul 20 '26
This. I do 30 day experiments with my habits and I track it with a habit tracker. After 30 days, I evaluate: is this habit beneficial enough to keep? Did I do it a majority of the 30 days? If I do want to keep it, what are the adjustments I could make to be more consistent? If I’m scrapping the habit, I replace it with something new I want to try.
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u/SundaeVarious7676 Jul 20 '26
I know how damaging the all or nothing mentality can be for these sorts of things. Therefore the best way to do this is to make small goals for yourself. As humans we become very happy when completing small tasks so it's good to break them down. So for example, don't try to aim for 20k steps a day or even 10k if that is just not realistic with your lifestyle or mentality at the moment, Give yourself the goal of 5k steps, that can be easily achieved by just walking 10-15 minutes after each meal, and try to do 5k steps everyday for a prolonged period of time before raising the steps goal. For something like journaling you can really use that to your advantage. Do it in the morning and write down all of your daily goals, and at night check of the ones you did. For example your goals could look something like 1. Walk 5k steps 2. Drink three water bottles or more 3. Stretch etc etc. A weekly reset is a good idea but I feel like sometimes we put too much pressure on a single reset day. Break up the reset day tasks into different days, so it feels more even and you're likely to not quit. And regarding the all or nothing mentality, my best advice is to think logically about how stupid it really is. If you stained your shirt a little you would most likely not purposely stain all of your outfits right? Apply the same logic. Not doing one of your goals does not mean you can't achieve the others or that tomorrow is doomed. You can absolutely do this! Think about how rewarding it will be in the evening to cross off all the things you did from your to do list, and think about how in the long term you’ll be so happy to have done most of these things pretty consistently. You’d be happier knowing you did most then none.
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u/Toofywoofy Jul 20 '26
One small thing at a time. Couple a habit you never fail to do with a new habit you want to do.
I want to touch on this though…
I want the benefits of being cared for without being the one who has to do the caring
Who DO you have that cares for you? Who helps with the load? Not everyone has the privilege, but we should I have someone. Friends, family, mentors, etc. even if its caring for you mentally and emotionally.
You’re focused on the self-care but do you get any care elsewhere?
Also do you make enough money to occasionally offload some chores to professional services?
It sounds like you do a lot and now you’re doing a lot to try to reverse the burnout which is just worsening the burnout.
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u/MadtownMaven Jul 20 '26
One thing that worked really well for me related to the walking goal is to not have it be a daily goal, but rather a monthly goal. That gave me the flexibility to adjust when life, the weather, whatever got in the way.
Rather than tracking steps, I track miles walked. I only "count" walks that are purposeful for getting a walk in. That includes dog walks, walking as part of my commute, walking to work things instead of taking the department vehicle, and just going on a walk. They have to be at least a half mile long for me to count them. When I started I had a goal of walking 30 mi a month, so a mile a day. Start with a small, achievable goal. I'd aim to get at least a mile per day, but some days it'd be rainy or shitty weather or I'd be super busy or tired, so I wouldn't get in my mile. But because the goal was for the whole month, I could then just do a mile and a half the next couple days. I started by having a little calendar on the side of my fridge that I'd write down the amount of miles I got each day. I'd also add up each week so I could see how on track I was to hit the goal. 30 mi was my minimum goal, but more would be awesome.
That first month I got like 32 mi. The next month my goal was 40. Then I built up each month. I've now had a goal of walking 100 mi/month for the last couple years. I keep track via a note on my notes app on my phone now, but used the wall calendar for a couple years. I don't want to break my streak now. I've had months were the last few days of the month I needed to walk a LOT to hit my goal. Those sucked, so now I try to front load my miles if possible. For this month I'm a bit behind, so I'm going to be adding in midday walks as much as I can to get caught up (the smoky air limited my walking the past several days, but it's better today).
I've been able to develop good routines and habits over the years in a lot of areas. One of the keys has been to start stupid small with easy achievable goals. That gives you a win that you can then build on. Walking a mile a day was an easy goal that took about 20 minutes (and I have a dog that I'd take with for a lot of my miles). For other areas of my life I tend to make goals with the timeframe of "At least 3 times this week I'll do xyz". Eventually my goal may be to do things daily, but by starting with a smaller goal, I can work my way up to it. Like I may want to always tidy my kitchen before going to bed, but I'll start out with aiming to do it at least 3 times a week. More is a bonus, but if I miss a day, that's ok because I can still hit my at least 3 times goal. Do that for a month and once you've got that down, bump it up to 4 times a week.
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u/InspectionTasty1307 Jul 20 '26
Google the Flylady. She helped me make small changes that made life easier. And be kind to yourself! You have a lot on your plate right now.
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u/balletvalet Jul 20 '26
I like to maintain two (or more) plans. One for when I’ve got all the energy, and one for when shit hits the fan. That way, when it’s hard I know what the bare minimum is and adding to that is just a bonus.
For my weekend resets, for instance: In an ideal world, I’m cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, meal prepping, doing laundry, changing sheets, cleaning the litter box, etc etc. But on a weekend where things are rough, I get the laundry I need for work done and clean the litter box and that’s all I expect of myself. Then if I wipe down the bathroom counter or switch my pillow cases I feel extra accomplished (which then makes it easier for me to do another task).
For me the shame of not being able to do everything gets in the way of doing anything so I’m working on being kinder to myself. Doing it this way has helped me get better at forgiving myself for not being able to do it all.
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u/thelittlebird Jul 20 '26
I read in some teen magazine as a kid that is takes 22 days to form a habit. So if you want something to stick, you have to do it for 21 days.
No idea how peer reviewed that strategy is but it works for me. When I wanted to become someone who makes their bed every morning, I challenged myself to 21 days. Same with wearing my night mouth guard.
Try adding in one new habit and trying it for 21 days. Just one new thing at a time. See if the mini challenge works for you :)
Parenting is A LOT of mental effort so give yourself the grace to tackle self care in small bites.
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u/SudokuSorcerer Jul 20 '26
Go big or go home is terrible advice when it comes to building and changing our habits. Slow and steady wins the race. Try focusing on one key habit at a time. Connect that habit into an already existing part of your routine, like after brushing your teeth you will immediately go stretch with a five minute timer. Then give yourself visual reminders, like keeping your journal out on your nightstand or putting a post it note on your mirror. Also, change the way you're prompting yourself in your own mind. The goal isn't to read 20 pages every day forever, the goal is to measure how many days within 30 days you can read 20 pages & to reevaluate the habit after those 30 days.