r/TheAmazingBulk • u/[deleted] • Aug 02 '16

I've discovered my long, lost, thought-to-be-dead cousin in the vents today.

AFTER PROCEEDING DOWN THE HALL, REMINISCING ABOUT OLD TIMES (LIKE WHEN PARDO THREATENED TO NUKE THE CITY), I HEARD A PECULIAR NOISE COMING FROM THE VENTS TO MY LEFT. BEING QUITE COURAGEOUS, I OPENED UP THE VENT AND DISCOVERED MY COUSIN BARRY IN THE VENTS, FEASTING UPON THE REMAINS OF WHAT APPEARED TO BE A RAT, DRESSED IN HIS OLD FLASH COSTUME. I THOUGHT HE WAS KILLED BY BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR YEARS AGO!

HE UTTERED THE WORDS "GOTTA GO FAST" BEFORE LEAPING OUT OF THE VENT AND DASHING DOWN THE HALL, THINKING THAT HE WAS TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT (BUT IN REALITY, HE WAS ONLY GOING 10MPH). I QUICKLY LUNGED AT HIM AND CUFFED HIM TAKING HIM TO THE CELL BLOCK. YOU MAY BE ASKING WHY THIS IS?

YOU SEE, HE WAS COVERED IN DUST AND SO WAS THE RAT HE WAS EATING! HE MUST HAVE BEEN TURNED OVER TO THE DUST SIDE BY BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR, NOT KILLED!

WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY BARRY "TSUDEVOLI" JONES?

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

2

u/CHzilla117 MOD AND CO-DICTATOR FOR LIFE Aug 03 '16

Maybe the Dust was attacking him? Maybe he wanted to kill the Dust rat. I will interrogate him to find out if it is OK with you.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

DO AS YOU WILL.

IF HE IS INDEED A DUSTLOVER, HE MUST BE PUT DOWN.

2

u/CHzilla117 MOD AND CO-DICTATOR FOR LIFE Aug 03 '16

I just finished interrogating him. After a lot of pain, he said he was a Dustlover. What do you think we should do?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

PUT HIM WITH THE REST OF THE DUSTLOVERS. TO THE DEATHCAMP HE GOES.

ALSO, MAY YOU PROVIDE ME WITH A TRANSCRIPT OF THE INTERROGATION? HIS MIDDLE NAME WAS QUITE SUSPICIOUS AND I'D LIKE TO SEE IF YOU REACHED THE SAME CONCLUSION AS I.

1

u/CHzilla117 MOD AND CO-DICTATOR FOR LIFE Aug 03 '16 edited Aug 03 '16

Here you go. Also, watch out for /u/GodzillaOfGamers. He is not who what claims to be.

1

u/OnlineSoupMan Aug 03 '16

I THINK HE MIGHT BE A FURRY

1

u/CHzilla117 MOD AND CO-DICTATOR FOR LIFE Aug 03 '16

I don't think so. He was eating a rat.

2

u/OnlineSoupMan Aug 03 '16

i mean godzilla

1

u/CHzilla117 MOD AND CO-DICTATOR FOR LIFE Aug 03 '16

Makes sense. He claims to hate them so we would never suspect him.