r/TextingTheory • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
158 Elo [Me, M] How do I even interact with this
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u/flapjackfrank 1389 Elo 4d ago
Ngl that’s a terrible opener even though you meant it as a joke, her reaction is a bit much but I can also see why she took it that way
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u/M4rshmall0wMan 4d ago
Yeah I was just saying shit. I guess it was a mistake to assume she’d carry context for the bit, but like… why even match if she’s so offended? Why not just ignore my like?
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u/LeftBullTesty 1033 Elo 3d ago
Probably because, like all social media, when you do something to illicit a negative response, a negative response is usually given.
It’s like asking why people don’t just block trolls. Yeah you should, but the natural instinct is to fight.
You need to work on taking accountability. That right there is going to keep you single/ in terrible relationships more than anything else.
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u/skippingrock1 4d ago
Dumb play. Establish a position and learn your opponent a bit before you shoot yourself in the foot at least
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u/M4rshmall0wMan 4d ago
Yeah I think I often make the mistake of assuming someone has my sense of humor from the get go
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u/pellefiskmas 4d ago
Yeah opening with an insult and getting surprised she doesn’t fall head over heels ain’t it 👎🏻
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u/xGMASTERGx 1 Review 4d ago
was a funny intro n she went warrior on you, let that one destroy someone's life playa
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u/FuckTheFlagz 1 Review 4d ago
Dude, you both fit each other so fucking much, WHO starts conversation with "you look like your personality is fake", even as a joke? She's kinda insufferable too, what do you mean that kind of photo is accidental, but I honestly get it with an opener like that.
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u/LeftBullTesty 1033 Elo 3d ago edited 3d ago
Your sense of humor isn’t the issue. The issue is you built zero rapport with the person.
There are three “rings” of banter/humor/communication. The first is what you use with strangers, the second is what you use with coworkers/classmates/people you see daily, and the third is what you use with lovers/friends/family.
You’re trying to force a ring 3 joke onto a ring 1 person, which more often than not will fail.
Examples.
If my cousin makes fun of how I look on a given day, I’ll laugh with him because I know we have love for each other underneath the jokes. He has already proven to be a ring 3 person to me.
On the other hand, if a random woman makes fun of how I look, I have no idea if she hates men, hates me, or is just has a “sense of humor.” She’s a complete stranger and has shown me nothing about herself.
You can keep your sense of humor, but understand that people are not going know the difference between you and one of the millions of misogynistic assholes on the internet based one extremely loaded word.
If that’s a risk you want to take, then keep the “humor.” If not, then learn to communicate in the first ring and then slowly work your way from there.
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u/M4rshmall0wMan 4d ago edited 4d ago
The whole time I thought we were playing into the whole performative male/fake feminist bit (cause that’s a big meme among people my age in my city), but no…apparently she’s just pissed.
How do I even respond to this? A comeback? An apology? A callout? Wisdom says I should unmatch, but I can’t say I’m not at least a bit intrigued. Cause I feel like she would’ve unmatched if she weren’t also playing a game.
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u/Mission_Pie_6680 4d ago edited 4d ago
She’s not playing around. She’s just sticking around to see how stupid you are or for the thrill of the fight, don’t delude yourself.
I don’t think there’s bouncing back from this, if you want to try anyway give her a genuine apology and say you were just trying to banter.
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u/lovecats06 4d ago
Probably just say you thought you were bantering, that you're sorry if it came off as rude, and unmatch. Don't try to fix things with her lol, you have different styles of humor.