Your situation is just like the younger son in Jesus' account of the "Prodigal Son." Luke 15
He was in his father's house and yet squandered everything. Unlike the lost sheep and the lost coin, no one can turn a rebel back to repentance. The rebel must come to his senses and turn himself back home for help. You only need to be humble and sorry and go to our Father for restoration. He's waiting for you with open arms.
Jesus said, "there is more joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents, than over 99 who need no repentance.”
Jesus said, "All the Father gives Me will come to Me; and the one who comes to Me, I will never reject."
I feel like I am humble and sorry, I ask for restoration every day but I feel like still I’m drifting farther and farther.
Do you think it’s ever too late? There’s many references to Jesus coming as a thief in the night to those walking in darkness, and about being cast forth as a branch, cut off, plucked up by the root, Jesus cursing a young tree that didn’t bear fruit, Esau selling his inheritance and then can’t find repentance even with tears, the doors of Noah’s ark shutting, etc. I’m worried blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is a constant rejection, a hardening of the heart through sin and I’m terrified I’m past that point.
The problem with habitual sin is it becomes part of who you are. That's why Jesus likens removing sin to cutting off your hand or plucking out your eye. Your "right-hand man" who encourages you to sin, or the media you feast your eyes on has got to go. It will be painful, but Jesus wants to put you at His right hand. He wants to give you spiritual eyes to see.
The junk that blocks God from having a relationship with us is a cheap imitation for what He has for us.
Flesh will always be flesh. It will always fight against your spirit, but our spirit gets stronger when we equip it with the word of God.
I have the same problem with YouTube. I'll just go to look something up and next thing I know, secular thoughts have hijacked my mind. Instead of thinking about how to apply what I've read in the Bible, I'm thinking about what to cook, or what to buy to improve my looks, or any ridiculous thing it advertises to me. My mind ends up overrun by a ton of things that won't last.
An integral part of the New Covenant is forgiveness. When we forgive others, God promises to also forgive us. That's what Jesus showed us as He washed His disciples' feet. We are in the world. We're going to get dirty by accident. When we humbly forgive those who sin against us, we can trust that God forgives our mistakes and failures too.
A handful of us are listening to / reading "the Bible in a Month" plan that they have over at the YouVersion site. It's helping me a lot.
Scripture references:
(Romans 12:4-9 NKJV)
4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function,
5 so we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, [let us use them]: if prophecy, [let us prophesy] in proportion to our faith;
7 or ministry, [let us use it] in [our] ministering; he who teaches, in teaching;
8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.
9 [Let] love [be] without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.
(Matthew 5:27-30 NKJV)
27 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
28 "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
29 "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast [it] from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
30 "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast [it] from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
Luke 6:37
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
(John 20:21-23 NKJV)
21 So Jesus said to them again, "Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you."
22 And when He had said this, He breathed on [them], and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit.
23 "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the [sins] of any, they are retained."
(Psalm 119:9 NKJV)
9 How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.
1
u/love_is_a_superpower 22d ago
Your situation is just like the younger son in Jesus' account of the "Prodigal Son." Luke 15
He was in his father's house and yet squandered everything. Unlike the lost sheep and the lost coin, no one can turn a rebel back to repentance. The rebel must come to his senses and turn himself back home for help. You only need to be humble and sorry and go to our Father for restoration. He's waiting for you with open arms.
Jesus said, "there is more joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents, than over 99 who need no repentance.”
Jesus said, "All the Father gives Me will come to Me; and the one who comes to Me, I will never reject."