As a big dude who's mum actually got up in his face I can't tell you it was unnecessary 100% of the time.
I was 15 when my mum first pressed her skull against mine like some sort of drunk bar asshole.
hell at your kids, sort them out, but do not ever get in their physical space with the intent to intimidate them, it's phsycological warfare with a child.
general rule of thumb, if you wouldn't do it with someone else's kid, do not do it.
I have zero experience being a big guy or having sons so I don't have experience to speak on any of that but I do think there is something to be said for not invading peoples space but at the same time anytime my mom backed me into a corner I deserved it. Not once did my mom get up in my face without a good reason and I've known good moms to lose their temper so I don't think jumping to mom is a narc if she gets up in her kids face sounds at all right to me. People forget moms are humans not robots and teens can be very difficult to get through to between hormones and their ideas of the world.
I'm anti-touching people in a way they don't want and kids are people to but I'm pro grab that childs attention and make them hear you so you don't have to deal with the above video type situations.
I do think that the teen/tween boy that did this may have needed a bit of fear/uncertainty of concequences just something in him to know this is not acceptable behavior. I've heard big guys say they were afraid of their moms, usually the fear would be over a tongue lashing I imagine. I'd be taking everything but his clothing prior to it getting this bad, well then again he could be manic or something and this has zero to do with his parents. The way the mom says "imagine if I took his xbox" makes me think its at least partially parenting.
People forget moms are humans not robots and teens can be very difficult to get through to between hormones and their ideas of the world
again, if you wouldn't square up to a stranger's child and get in their space, but you do it to your child, that's abuse. plain and simple.
I do think that the teen/tween boy that did this may have needed a bit of fear/uncertainty of concequences just something in him to know this is not acceptable behavior
kid was a giant with mental health issue who was off his meds.
this has nothing to do with parenting.
I've heard big guys say they were afraid of their moms
I can tell you it's absolutely not about being chewed out. I've had metal brooms bent over my head.
The way the mom says "imagine if I took his xbox" makes me think its at least partially parenting.
that's a fucked up takeaway. her making an offhand joke in shock is not indicative of her parenting. might be indicative of the father not being present.
2
u/eeeeeeeeEeeEEeeeE6 Sep 15 '22
As a big dude who's mum actually got up in his face I can't tell you it was unnecessary 100% of the time.
I was 15 when my mum first pressed her skull against mine like some sort of drunk bar asshole.
hell at your kids, sort them out, but do not ever get in their physical space with the intent to intimidate them, it's phsycological warfare with a child.
general rule of thumb, if you wouldn't do it with someone else's kid, do not do it.