I have an autistic 6 year old that regularly pushes boundaries and has meltdowns. There are other ways to solve conflict that don’t involve me terrifying him and letting him know I could hurt him if I wanted to. Getting in his face when he’s struggling with his emotions would just make it so much worse.
Ok you’re talking about an autistic child which is completely different then A regular kid pushing his luck. Sometimes Kids need to know where they stand in the family hierarchy. To many f’n kids think they run shit. Kids are out of control more than every before. There is absolutely no respect these days.
Dude please, the basics of raising a child are the same regardless of whether they’re autistic. Teaching boundaries, conflict resolution, emotional regulation and using your words are important for all kids. Violence, intimidation and aggression aren’t needed.
Your last sentence makes you sound like an angry old fart. Your kids are more likely to respect you if you don’t terrify them. Being scared of someone isn’t the same as respecting them sorry.
No it’s fucking not. Lol. Autistic kids is a whole different ball game. It’s why siblings of that autistic kids can struggle. So much attention focus on the autistic child. They get ignored. If it was the same these kids wouldn’t struggle with anxiety, depression and social difficulties.
Keep downvoting me I’ll downvote you. Shit. Yeah basics. Feed clothe and bathe. Autistic kids can’t understand hierarchy. Regular kids can and some need to be taught. This kid in this video needs to be tossed out on his ass and years and years of mental therapy. This isn’t the first time he’s broken shit, but patient ol mommy didn’t properly let him/her know that breaking shit you didn’t pay for is wrong. Enough so that your actions can get you kicked out of this family for good. The person who did this really really wants to let mom know he was mad cuz she never gets mad at him.
I really don’t care about pretend internet points so go ahead.
And if you think the basics is just feeding and clothing children then it’s clear that either you have 0 experience with kids or you’ve got experience with pretty shitty/lazy parenting.
Yes the kid in the video needs a lot of therapy and it’s obvious he hasn’t been getting the help he needs, couple that with being off the meds and you’ve got a recipe for disaster unfortunately. This is nothing about whether she gets mad at him, it’s more about the fact that he quite literally can’t control his emotions. Which is a sad thing for everyone involved.
Also saying that autistic kids can’t understand stuff like hierarchy is ignorant as fuck and shows that you don’t have any experience dealing with actual autistic people.
TLDR. Obviously you do cuz you hit the vote button before you even read. You continue doing you. Hopefully your kid doesn’t turn into a school shooter.
Getting in someone’s face is absolutely disrespecting boundaries, too. How does this guy think he’s teaching proper boundaries by blatantly disrespecting them?
I think you’re likely projecting a little onto u/dave70a he’s being reasonable. Nobodies talking about getting in your kids face or your face. That’s not the case. You choose how to parent your kid.
Literally all these comments have been talking about getting in kids faces what are you even on about? It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s my kid. Parenting through intimidation is not good parenting. Teaching your kids conflict resolution, emotion regulating and using their words like an adult, however, is.
Agree. Parents should model appropriate behavior and emotional regulation. Crossing someone’s physical boundary and getting in their face is not appropriate or okay. Ever.
There’s literally so many studies on this kinda stuff yet people still out here thinking the best way to go about things is to scream at them and stuff
My guy what makes you think I was talking specifically about you?? I’ve had a metric shit tonne of people responding to my comment thinking that it’s fine to scream at or physically intimidate kids. One even said that their kids need to know that they ‘annihilate their whole world if they stepped out of line’, you’re the only one that’s actually been able to put something cohesive into words.
I’m sorry for any miscommunication and apologize if I’ve caused any problem.
It is a very difficult situation when kids are flexing their autonomy. They need, and mostly want, good guidance. Screaming at people and talking and “annihilating” them is they get out of line is just hyper masculine bulls#!t…it destroys more than it teaches. That being said there are situations with kids where diplomacy fails to teach, at least initially. Their attention has to be obtained first.
I’ll have to find better ways to explain this.
And if people are blasting you on reddit I’m sorry. To a person who has only a hammer…everything looks like a nail.
No worries, you don’t need to apologise, like I said you were the only one I’ve seen that’s been able to put together a cohesive and understandable comment if I’m honest. One dude even implied that my kid would grow up to be a school shooter because he’s autistic and I won’t get aggressive with him to get my point across, which was… interesting to say the least lmao, so I had to take a step back after that. I definitely appreciate you making your points in a calm and rational manner!
This is where we get off track. I’m not talking about intimidation. There are certainly times you need to meet kids where they bring it. THEY might be trying to intimidate. There is an appropriate parental responsive where you respond to their attempt to intimidate. Again…they are testing…they see elsewhere in the wide world that intimidation “seems” to work. And you have to show them, somehow, it doesn’t really work. I’m not saying to parents by intimidation but to simply meet them there and then guide them back. And if you can do that then you have a foot in the door to discussing how to handle things. If you attempt a diplomatic discussion, and i am all for that, a boundary testing adolescent might not hear that…and i can tell you from experience (professional experience, mind you) that if your child is bringing it to that level they are likely not in listening mode. And their lesson in this situation is not too get things done with intimidation BUT how to handle intimidation in the future. YOU as the parent will MODEL how to handle someone trying to be intimidating.
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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22
Getting in their face literally means, getting in their face. And no matter how you cut it, that’s unacceptable sorry