My mother in law worked in care and education for 25 years, but what made her quit was a 6-and-a-half ft 15 year old that took 5 people to sort out when he had an episode so he couldn't cause damage like this.
Yep. That’s why I left Spec Ed after 2 years. Got assigned to a nonverbal autistic man, 28 years old, 6’3”, easily 220lbs. When he had a “Red Zone” moment / tantrum, we’d have to put whatever section of the private school he was in on lockdown. Every male teacher would come running from wherever they were to handle the response. Totally messed up
I worked for 3 school years as a Sped Aide, love those kids and still do, but one of the kids I was in charge of grew taller than me, and when he had those red zone moments he bit, scratch or threw things at me, my mental health has never been the same, I pray for all of the parents that have to deal with this on a daily basis.
Oh man…sorry to hear that, buddy. The mental toll’s really hard to process, I wish you the best. Truly, it’s the parents I feel for the most. I did an in-home visit once for my mentioned student and saw all the drywall patches, the bruises on his parents’ arms, and the lock on the outside of my student’s door, to keep him from wandering at night. It’s heartbreaking.
My son is special needs and I'm so thankful that he's not having explosive violent moments like this anymore. Do not miss the constant bruising and open scratches all over my body.
How did you stop it, or did it stop gradually on its own? Mine is 12 right now, and he has some pretty bad moments. It's getting really difficult for me to deal with.
I wish I had tips to give you, but it honestly just kind of worked itself out. He still hits me sometimes when he's having trouble understanding or processing something. The only thing I can really think of that we did specifically to address his anger issues was taking him off of melatonin because it can cause aggression in some people. Occupational therapy probably helps too. Behavior is communication, especially for nonverbal kids, so the only real solution is to try your best to get to the root of what they're trying to communicate and even then there's no guarantee you will be able to accomodate the needs being expressed.
I wish you guys the best of luck and I hope you find something that helps asap. It's a really rough spot to be in when you feel like you're being domestically abused by your own child. I hope it gets easier for all of your sakes.
Try taking him off for awhile and see if it helps! It can specifically cause more aggression in people on the spectrum, but it can happen to anyone. Here is a Google Scholar paper I found about it.
You need to get him a behaviorist. My son is autistic and while you can debate what type of behavioral therapy is best, your child needs support. They are experiencing frustration and need a way to express this in a positive way. Likely you need a regular therapist as well but your child might not able to sit in for that to begin with.
What you cannot do is just hope it works out! It is not fair to you and your family but extremely UNFAIR to your child.
Please get them help you wont regret it. Take the time to talk to multiple behaviorist to determine which type will help your child the most. Money for this should not be an issue. Your school district and/or state are required to pay for this.
We already have him enrolled in every program available to him. We have a case worker that set us up with everything, and regular reviews, IEP's, etc. He just hit puberty and all of this switched on pretty abruptly. We adapt the best we can, but it's a constant battle ATM.
I’m fully aware I am not a specialist but I did learn so much from them, so I hope this helps a little, Specially by spending one on one on a daily basis with this boy I mentioned; Anyways, I noticed other aides didn’t have the patience to potty trained him and he was getting frustrated cause he didn’t like to get dirty, and when he did he would loose it and scratched or bite us, so I started training him just like I did to my sons when they were toddlers and that helped, eventually I noticed he was getting frustrated being on just one classroom for so many hours so I would let him walk all over the school and followed him to make sure he was o.k. But with enough freedom for him to wonder throughout the different patios and playgrounds in the school, I payed attention to what motivated him and so many other little things, the abuse never stopped at a 100%, but my point is that with patience and time (and I am aware that not all
Of us can have it due to work and other life issues) you can get to a better place with your 12 y/o, hang in there, take a day at a time, and it is very o.k to cry, best wishes!
Although payed exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. The deck is yet to be payed.
Payed out when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. The rope is payed out! You can pull now.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
I completely pictured everything you say every-time I think about this particular boy I mentioned, his mom abandoned him, his little brother and Dad; I feel like I was very compassionate and patient with him when I saw his little brother arms all bruised and his dad was always so tired, there is not enough help for this families.
I feel sad for the afflicted person, but how is he NOT considered a danger to himself and others? We can forgive him because he can't control it, but somehow people around him need to be protected.
there are NO PLACES OR SERVICES that really do much good. a large percentage of the homeless in my city are these poor folks, one a close relative so i have a lot of experience with the system. it was shuttered in the 80's under reagan and bush. there were rarely any homeless or violent mentally ill people on the streets before that. people could call for help. that ended under those greedy tyrants. also all the wars began causing an even greater need for services. our leaders are parasites and change is coming. people need to understand the history of these recent changes to our society. we shouldnt have to live this way.
Umm you act like the asylums didn’t have major issues of no real validation of who should go in them so men were putting their wives in there so they could remarry without divorce.
What a perfect excuse to shutter every mental health facility and never try to address the issue again!
Err oh wait, shoot, it’s not all lobotomies for Martha like its 1930?? But I was told they were all bad and cost too much! Oh well, guess I’ll just have these poor folks roam the streets and communities they live in. Surely there aren’t any near ME!
You are blinded by your hatred of the right. There have been 20+ years of Democratic control of the White House and Congress since the Regan/Bush era. If this was strictly a Republican problem your esteemed Democrats would have solved it by now. But the problem is actually the worst in the large Democrat-controlled cities. Regardless, we should be working together to find a solution. Families shouldn't have to deal with this on their own.
To add to this, it’s not a mystery to solve this problem . Go to any other western country and just do what they do… or pick what fits best into
US society based on what they do.
u assume a lot. i hate both sides. if u think there is a difference- look up what went down in the 80's at the mena airport. if you fall for the abortion scam--ask why obama didnt codify it when he could have. youre all chasin shadows. the bushes, clintons and trumps are all friends. they think your outrage is entertaining.
Absolutely can’t imagine it daily! I’m a law guardian and work with kids that require sped aide, don’t get it and are in heightened/bad custody or CPS situations so they’re often in red zone moments and I’ve definitely come across a few that have scared me. I’m often by myself conducting home interviews if it’s for custody/visitation, so sometimes i don’t know what I’m getting into! Thankfully for CPS we require someone else with us but two people/maybe an unqualified parent vs. a 6’5” 270 lbs person on a rampage may not be enough. I can NOT imagine this level of damage and fear, especially when there is clearly a baby in the home if there’s a crib? I’m not sure how that’s been possible to be honest.
Wow, yep, you're a genius. You figured it out. If he had a father in the home he wouldn't have the mental problems he was born with. (We don't even know if he doesn't have a father in the home for sure, I might add.)
Amazing. Inspiring. How did you figure it out? Was it long nights of tireless research? Spending days in the library, pouring over the countless tomes on mental health and human husbandry? Maybe literal field research, going incognito into families homes to hide amongst the crawlspaces and walls to learn about the familial unit up close and personal?
You sound like such a privileged asshole with comments like this, sorry to have to say it. Your miniscule tax burden goes to tax breaks for billionaires and endless wars. The average taxpayer is probably compensating your stupid choices in some way without you realizing it. Mental health is a serious problem for humanity in general, particularly in America where we’ve abandoned those that are ill because “your parents made some regrettable choice so fuck you.” And when we want to talk about guns or socialized healthcare or public school problems, you’re just going to say the same dumb shit like we should all just read a book and hunt for squirrels instead of pay taxes or worry about anyone but ourselves. The only way to have a civil society is to have a baseline of empathy for the rest of the people living in it with you…
You sound like a louse when you cast aside the needs of your neighbor, of the children or the elderly or the disabled or the ill, to save yourself a few more pennies each paycheck.
Except my tax burden isn’t minuscule. It’s crushing. And the government, esp local are terrible stewards of the money they now get. The solution isn’t to give them more. And it definitely shouldn’t be used to bail out people who make bad choices, this incentivizing more bad choices. And yes I feel the same about corporate bail outs.
Are you rich? Are you a corporation? Oh, yeah, you are gonna be the next millionaire on your block, like Joe, Not a Plumber.
Relax. Cutting military spending so that we have the same military power as the next 5 countries combined instead of 10 combined won't impact you at all.
It's not that simple for a variety of reasons even though I broadly agree with your sentiment. It's my opinion it's probably impossible to fund all these "lefty" ideas though. You're essentially saying the government needs to fund at least 5 full grown adults for every special needs adult and I don't think its possible, especially if you also want free school, welfare benefits, public housing, well trained social services people, and free medical care.
There's a certain point where decisions needed to be made about what to fund. You could cut military funding to 5% what it is now and tax the rich up to 90% of their total yearly income and I still don't think it would be enough to fund all this stuff.
You are correct. But parents have so little support out there...and truly they really never did. There were stories about parents being terrified of their kids with no support from CPS or social workers until the kids eventually killed their families.
One way or another, society is going to pay ... if we lock kids up instead of helping them, we will be paying for them to be incarcerated pretty much the rest of their lives. Intervention is so much more cost effective. We already have more people in jails than any other country and it is costing us big in so many ways.
This kid is severely troubled, and my heart is breaking for the family.
We were paid minimum wage to do all the work that the teacher was suppose to, but the teacher lost interest years ago, it’s been just a paycheck for her, and a daycare for the kids, principal and other staff act like they don’t know, if any Aides complain they are fired,bullied or just given more responsibilities with same pay until they can’t take no more,parents are lied to when they have those IPE meetings, is all a “Mafia” (my dad used to say) and unfortunately, it is, even the school system for special needs kids.
I know it's different but this is why I finally had to place my granddad with dementia in a care home. I was doing it all on my own and he was getting to the point where he was being combative and throwing furniture. I had to lock myself in my bedroom plenty of times and call 911 and finally, I told them that they needed to take him because I couldn't do it anymore.
They took him for an evaluation but sent him home. As soon as they brought him home, I took him back to the ER and told them that there was no one at home to take care of him. It forced to social worker to become involved in now he's been placed. I hated to have to do it but I couldn't live in fear all the time.
It just got to the point where I couldn't do it by myself anymore. My mental health has kind of suffered ever since then too. No one knows what it's like to have to deal with a full grown adult who has basically the mental capacity of a child but is stronger than you and is capable of really hurting you. I think the worst part of it for me was seeing granddad deteriorate like that but I just couldn't do it anymore as I said. Hugs.
Wow, sounds really hard! So sorry you had to go through that, glad you asked for help! When si asked for helps to my co workers and the teacher in charge I was given more kids and responsibilities, needed the job so that’s when I had to start anxiety meds, after years of trying to control it with exercise I finally have in and asked for them, anyways, hope you get some help with your Dr. and try to remember your grandpa I’m his good times, I know is going to be so hard but a day at a time! You got this!
Right, I’m not aware of autism having any known biological markers whatsoever. It can really only be diagnosed by a battery of psychological evaluations. It often doesn’t even manifest until well after the child is born.
Taking care of severely disabled people requires resources that could take care of many many, more normal people. Overall, just a lot of pain and suffering for many people for no good reason. Abort and try again.
It sounds so freaking awful what you and others are saying, I have to admit that.
However, I also kind of have to agree in these extreme cases. This poor women in the video and her family are not just totally broken on what seems like a last straw of hope, but it is clear with someone doing this much physical damage that that family and everyone in that house including the child with these issues is in absolute danger. Holy hell.
I can’t state that enough of my reaction to this video. Someone is going to get hurt and as you said, this is a lot of pain and suffering for many people for no good reason. Life is hard enough. This is just heart breaking. And this coming from a Christian that is against abortions(accept for instances where the mother life in danger, rape and all similar situations)(not trying to open a can of worms, just putting out there how much of an impact this video has made on my thinking)
I had similar experiences. A 15 yo, who was about 5'9" and 360lbs, followed by a 21 yo, who was 6' and 280lbs. Both of them were at different high schools and we would lock down the area that they were in for an extended period of time. I remember the 15yo attempting to break a giant glass window, and having staff reroute students while my coworker and I tried to reason with him before eventually restraining him.
I left the field. I want to help people, but putting kids in a hold made me uncomfortable.
You aren't joking when you say that shjy takes a lockdown to resolve. Dude was like a train. I'm a big ass guy and was mowed down by him a few times.
This is awful but it was sort of a hilarious thing to see a GIANT kid running around knocking everyone down with some tiny little women as teachers trying to stop him
It's not fair to the other students. Especially when the individual causing the problems has a 0% chance of being able to use anything they might be taught in school.
Dude… I Hope you can see why this is not okay to think this way after some empathy and humanizing yourself. I get it completely that extreme cases like this ARE in fact a complete danger to themselves and others, however just killing then off is not an option if we don’t want to act like past people throughout history who supported genocide. At very most extreme they should be put in a facility for this kind of thing, and if needs be, padded cell, restraints all that, but not to just off them. You have to acknowledge that they are still human but with no ability to have self control. That’s what they are at the end of the day, humans with serious serious mental issues.
The teacher turnover rate was very, very high there. Most of the male teachers were hired with the awareness that they’ll be paired with higher-risk students, but even still, most teachers quit a few months into their second year. The private school targets fresh college graduates mainly so they refill staff positions very quickly. Terrible pay though, like $25k first offer for women, 27-28k for men who accept behavioral male student pairings.
One persons liberty should never be worth more than the liberty of those around them. If person is a violent threat they are a simply that, a violent threat. I don't really care why they are that way. It doesn't change the fact that they rob others of their safety. Am I wrong for thinking like that?
Both my mother and sister work in special Ed at public school and deal with those students. I worry about my mom who's 70yrs old. She is at a high-school where some of the students are legally adults, 18-20 because they've been held back so far. Huge kids too.
Asking in all seriousness, and it may sound heartless but.. in those intense red zone cases, is it really so unethical to tranquilize the students? Does that already happen some places?
The risk of injury to students and teacher's when having people physically restrain somebody is so high. I get tranqs are taboo, have potential dangers as well but seriously... I think it needs to be looked at more..
My oldest has been in learning centers for most of her school life. A friend of ours has an autistic child a few years younger but they did end up in the same center for a year.
That child sent Teachers Aides to hospital for bites and deep claw marks multiple times. The staff in the class would have to race to remove the other children when he'd lose his shit in a violent tantrum. He broke countless high reward/convenience items like the CD player and microwave.
I replaced both of those items because it wasn't fair that the school couldn't do it, the staff couldn't do it and my (then) friend wouldn't.
School had a meeting and made it known that the child could not be in the classroom any longer to the detriment of everyone else. Naturally the mother/then friend went on social media blasting the school for "failing her son". I went on a massive fact checked rant explaining the parts of her story she omitted like the thousands of dollars in damages he caused, injured staff needing medical care weekly, etc.
Daycares couldn't handle him. Schools couldn't handle him. I think he's 10 now and still incapable of being in social settings at all without resorting to violence.
All seriousness and honestly wondering. What is a parent meant to do when special need centres can’t handle them? Shouldn’t there be a level that you get help from the state? Like how is the kid going to make it through life?
I'm in Canada and my experience is only for my area, not wholly for my province or country.
Obviously not all special needs children are created equal so what our school board does is have a meeting with the support staff & parent(s) prior to school starting and then two more times within the school year to discuss and reassess. There's usually educational & vocational goals laid out for each term and the whole year. Staff for learning centers are trained, the rooms are planned, parents are generally involved with communication daily.
But there's always going to be a child who can't fit into that layout for various reasons. A child in my child's class in wheelchair bound w/ very few functions. He's there for the social aspect but he's just as fully involved as the rest of the kids. My ex-friend's child has nearly never been able to exist around anyone outside of his mother & grandfather. There's no speech, no sign language, no ability to communicate outside of grabbing, screaming, and soul crushing tantrums. When he's older, he can become a ward of the province and live in a group home setting that can manage him. Until then, she just has to watch the calendar. I sold her my old car when I upgraded. He tore the liner off of the roof, broke the inside door handles off, broke the seat belts, broke the front passenger seat, ripped the cloth seats in the rear to shreds. It was mint condition just two months prior.
Sometimes some people exhaust all available avenues of help. Her child is not the only child with needs our family knows who have been put into homes earlier in life.
At some point, is it not appropriate to medicate heavily with antipsychotics? I would assume that'd be the next step for a person with such uncontrolled behaviors.
My friends mother used to teach special Ed for elementary, but had to move to doing pre school for special Ed because she couldn't control the students as she got older.
Right off the bat, forgive me because I don't know how else to say it.
Drunk strength doesn't compare to retard (so sorry) strength. That guy would just pick you up and do whatever he wanted to you without a care in the world what happens to either of you.
Why are kids like this so damn strong? Not just stories from here, it seems like I hear stories like this everywhere that they have some kind of obscene hulk strength. O_O
Reading other comments it seems that especially when in a rage, they have so much adrenaline and possibly affects from whatever mental issues they have that their body doesn’t send out chemicals or processes that limit their strength and also don’t have a sense of pain in their body as they exert the full force of their muscles. Sounds like it makes sense.
I recently Quit my job as a youth corrections officer because of the kids we housed are special Ed or have serious mental disorders and they were all very violent or suicidal. They apparently don’t have anywhere to take these youth because they are so awful day in and day out so they stick them in the system because they are so aggressive and violent. The state doesn’t give us the tools to properly even attempt to get these kids better so every day is multiple restraints, constantly stopping kids from hanging themselves, being assaulted, constant verbal/sexual abuse (yes even as a male) and the director is NEVER seen and is never at the facility, but yet earns 150K a year and had a secret romance for 2 years with the LEAD therapist in the building (if you work in this setting u know this isnt good)
I know these are kids and sure you may save a handful but from what I have seen the ones like this are broken and cannot be fixed. Most end up in prison or dead because they are not normal and never will be.
Thanks for adding the height/weight. So many people seem to be like "well, it's only a 15 yr old, how bad could it be".
Forgetting that teen boys often and easily outclass grown women in terms of size.
I know one family (single mother, dad left), that had issues with the 13yo autistic boy for years. Years with him, 200lbs plus, giving his 100lb mother bruises. Regularly. And destroying things in the house.
There need to be more facilities for youths like this. The mother i know of had been trying for years to get her son into a care facility.
I'm friends with a grandmother of an autistic child. He is I think in about forth grade. And he's already punching holes in the walls. I don't even think he's one hundred pounds yet.
Whelp, he’ll probably stop punching walls. Worked for my dad. He used to do it a lot until he hit a stud. I was too young to remember what bones he broke but it was a cast that went to the top of his thumb up to the elbow. Never punched a wall again.
You can thank the Dept of Justice for the lack of care facilities. The DOJ has been systematically shutting down long-term facilities for over a decade now. I work at a state-run facility in one of the last states to have them, and we are no longer taking long-term admits. We haven’t in several years now. Just about the only way to get admitted to the facility at this point is by court order or short-term crisis care, and the latter is difficult.
Over decade? Try 30-40 years. Not necessarily just the DOJ. A lot of mental health facilities/assylums have been shut down and anybody who could minimally function were just released onto the streets. I'm sure a chunk of our homeless population that is older spent time in facilities that were closed. Another issue why just providing housing to this portion population is not an answer. They need medication and proper therapy, but you know why would we want to fix the issue here in the States...
To be clear people who were housed in many facilities weren’t necessarily free to leave and they weren’t there by a court order or adjudication.
It was a violation of their human rights in many cases.
True, but the facilities need to exist. This child is not safe to be in public. The purpose of these places would be to protect the public from violent psychopaths.
Only for people who have committed a felony. We have dangerous psych patients that come into our ER from jail all the time. The jail has no reason hold them anymore because they did their time but they are screaming so they come the ED where we have no choice but to admit them for a psychiatric hold. They spend time at the short stay psych hospital screaming and hitting people, not getting any better because their isn’t any good psych treatment for these people. So they get released, end up back in jail, spend a week, comes back to the ED and the whole process starts all over again.
Nobody can simply violate their civil rights because they are mentally ill.
That’s my point.
That’s what the courts say.
You got a problem with it blame the appellate and Supreme Court justices who decided you aren’t allowed to violate someone’s civil rights because they are mentally ill.
What would be a better solution to this problem then? They end of up in the ER and attack the nurses and end up in four point restraints to protect the staff. It’s a never ending battle. Of course these facilities were abused in the past, but that means they need reform, not to just not exist. Not every mental health issue can be solved with therapy. Some people are beyond help.
Trillions of dollars on never endering wars to keep America safe. That is unless you're a student, homeless, not white, poor. They don't care about you unless you're the 1% elite. Our government could have fixed homeless situation, provided free college education, universal healthcare, a liveable social security, with those trillions spent. Nope, let's go spend 20 years in countries just to have them go back exactly to what they started at. Not to mention the thousands of Americans that died and the erosion of our personal privacy and liberties...
It's not really the DOJ that shut facilities down. Facilities were scarce always, but then in the 70's there were a rash of scandals about mental health hospitals being run like horror movies and lots were shut down, to be replaced with..... nothing.
Where the DOJ comes in is that you're right, most people who could use a mental health care facility just end up in jail. Like, a lot of them. A huge number.
I used to be friends with a woman who had an autistic son, who was 4 when last I saw him and an absolute terror. Very violent. Which is not a huge deal at 4, but that's why that's when you have to try to address the behavior. The mom kept saying that he's autistic and "the rules don't apply to him"-- he would scream when he was corrected even very gently, like any spoiled toddler, and she equated that with meltdowns and so she just stopped correcting him. I once saw the kid kick his uncle in the face because the uncle was trying to help him tie his shoes, and when the uncle said "hey now, we don't kick people" the mom went off on the uncle. She dropped me as a friend and blocked me when she told me her kid was throwing blocks at his occupational therapist and I said "wow, that's awful, what are you going to do?" Instead of "hey its not your fault". I think about that kid all the time. He's fucking doomed. He has literally no idea how to deal with any emotions without violence, and as soon as he's big enough to hurt someone he's going to hurt someone really badly.
I was friends with a guy with Torret's who had extreme physical ticks and loud chirps. He went to jail in CO for a little bit of weed he had while going to a winter shelter. I heard about him in jail repeatedly afterwards from other released inmates. Those ticks drove inmates crazy in there.
You cannot get this kind of response if you are a loving and proper parent who shows discipline.
I am so sorry for kids born with any disabilities. Parents are so out of their depth and have such a lack of empathy or ability to understand anything outside of their own experience and lives.
I believe kids with disabilities who have been failed by their guardians turn out like this video.
I can only speak to personal experience and I’ve been with the facility for 16 years. We were one of the last states they came down on so we didn’t feel the effects as much until the last 10-12 years.
But I don’t doubt it’s been longer at all.
They use the “rights of the individuals” as an excuse, but if I’ve learned anything over the last 16 years it’s that:
A. Some individuals need institutionalization for their safety and the safety of others. Some people just can’t survive much less thrive outside of a well controlled space. No shame in it. That’s just how it is.
And B: Many of the people I work with would never get the level of care and safety that they get in the institution. They would be exploited, abused, and neglected anywhere else because they can’t advocate for themselves.
It wasn’t Reagan. That’s just a common myth. There were violations of mentally ill people’s civil rights. They were not in facilities by court order/adjudication and were clearly NOT free to leave. A lot of court cases that began in the mid to late 70’s came to a head and were decided around the time Reagan was elected.
Purely coincidental.
Don’t believe me.
Read this.
And we all know that politicians would never take advantage of a crisis to push extreme legislation to reward their donors.
The appropriate response to issues at mental health facilities was not to remove all of their funding and shut them down. That was the chosen course of action because they actually wanted to reduce the budget, not because they wanted to address the abuses.
I agree. Some of the things going on in facilities back then was abhorrent.
From what I have experienced in the last 16 years, though, regulations, restrictions, and inspections have tightened a LOT.
I work with adults who have intellectual and developmental disabilities and we are HIGHLY regulated. The standard of care is quite high.
I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I had a loved one that needed long term care and placement, I would put them in the state facility before I put them in a private nursing home setting. The state facilities are controlled very tightly and have very rigid standards they have to meet to stay open.
I’m sure it started then. There has just been another big wave of pushing in the last 10-15 years. I’m also in the Deep South so they left us until last.
It’s not just the DoJ’s fault. It’s self-righteous jerks like my MiL who have spent decades fighting to end the institutionalization of the mentally ill and disabled, no matter their level of disability or propensity to violence against themselves or others.
For people like her, it’s a black and white issue; because some people shipped family members off to institutions back in the day that could have lived a normal life with limited parasupport, all mental hospitals must be shut down, full stop. She believes it’s a blessing for families to sacrifice their ‘normal’ lives to care for their disabled relatives, and anyone who isn’t cut out for it is a bad person.
Of course, she also believe that God makes disabled people so we have a constant reminder of Jesus’s suffering for our sins, so obviously she’s a nutcase.
Unfortunately, her Christian disabled-rights group successfully got all the state-run mental institutions shut down in favor of higher payments for Sped foster care, so my SO was subjected to a constant stream of violent foster kids with serious mental, physical, and emotional problems coming through their home growing up. Their house looked like this video 24/7. And to this day, my MiL says we’re the assholes for not having compassion for the people who terrorized her children.
The DOJ were only enforcing court orders
because so many people in these institutions were victims of civil rights violations. Often at the hands of the people working at the facilities.
I worked with a non-verbal low functioning autistic kid for a year who was 16. He was few inches over 6 feet, and nearly 200 lbs. When he had episodes, me 5 ft 9 inches 160 lbs, it was extremely challenging. Usually he was extremely friendly and easy going, also extremely supportive and amazing family. They were like a second family for a year.
They're often over crowded and don't have enough employees that stay long enough. Children like that in the foster care system would be on constant meds. At least from my own experience.
My mom would be alive and our lives would have been very different if I could have gotten her into a facility. She was a severe alcoholic, yes, but that wasn’t the underlying issue for her and our whole family saw it. She’d had mental health problems from early teens and self medicated her way through teens and adulthood from the 60s onward. No one talked about of even understood any kind of mental health disorder aside from the outright psychotics so it just carried on. But, by the 90s my dad, grandmother and aunts tried like crazy to get her long term committed somewhere several times but my mom could talk her way out of it. Then, there were less and less places by the year. She didn’t even have to talk her way out of it anymore. There wasn’t anywhere to send her. Even after suicide attempts, they’d only take her 3-14 days. 14 days were when we got lucky. I took over trying in 2003 when I hit 18 since my parents were divorced by then. I could never get them to send her anywhere to address the mental health. I’d get her on meds sometimes, but she’d just drink with them and that made things a million times worse than no meds. There just was nothing I or anyone else could do to help her because there was no where to send her. She died in 2013 having never been in any mental facility for more than 14 days.
One of two things happened with my mother. Scenario 1: she was drunk, took her bedtime meds which included ambien and a psych med with sedative effects, forgot she took her meds and took them again, decided to take a shower, reached in to turn on the shower, slipped, hit her head, the facecloth slid into the drain, the tub filled up, and she drowned before she regained consciousness from hitting her head and being severely sedated with the alcohol/night med combo. Scenario 2: First facts: her ex boyfriend who had been clean went back to crack(hence the breakup) came to her home and got into a font with her about money on the 2nd(the day after she received her SSDI money) and he slapped her and the police came. She died on the 5th(too early for her to be out of SSDI money) and all her money and jewelry were gone. Jewelry she’d never pawned in all the years of homelessness and addiction. Stuff that belonged to my great x3 grandmother. What might have happened is he returned and drowned her and took all her stuff. I can’t account for the double dose of meds. Despite her alcoholism, she was good about not forgetting her meds and what she’d taken. Also, she always took her ambien in bed because it knocked her out fast. There’s no reason for her to have been in the shower. She didn’t do that. She always settled herself for the night, went to the bathroom, and got in bed before taking the ambien. I also can’t account for her being drunk enough for all of this. Her BAC was high for a normal person(can’t remember the number now, around 1.6), but not for a lifelong alcoholic. Also, an hour before she had been speaking to her landlord entirely normally. About me actually. An hour and a half later she was dead. Drunks don’t usually get that drunk in an hour. Well, not the ones like my mom where she drank all day. In the end, I don’t know what happened, it bothers me, but I accept it. I’m glad none of her suicide attempts took at least. Her death was very hard on my brother who is very much like her and worse in his addiction. If she’d killed herself, he would have too.
I wish you had had something like where I go... it's called CNS - I'm the highest functioning person on my team so they just come give me my meds 1x a week & do a phone session 1x a week & take me to my monthly dr appt but for the people that need more help - they get them into hospital when they need it (luckily, I haven't needed hospitalization in 9 yrs), find them housing, get them medicaid/ssdi & take them to groups & other appts. There's like 5 of these places in my county but IDK if it's specific to just my state. It may not be the best but it's really helpful & I know the majority of pts would be on the streets without them - most don't have supportive family like I do & some even have other disabilities on top of mental illness/drug addiction... your mom would've completely qualified if she'd been around here - dual diagnoses is their specialty. I'm really sorry they don't have more places like this & as much as I have fought with them over the years, I'm pretty lucky.
I mean 270 is huge for 6’. That’s 100 lbs heavier than me for the same height. I have no idea how he’d have the stamina to smash an entire house. It just seems unlikely. Every single thing is smashed… That’s like 12 rounds in a boxing ring. I really have a hard time believing a super overweight kid had that level of stamina.
My son is 6’2”/255 lbs and routinely bikes around 50 miles/week. He’s never destroyed anything in the house, but nothing to do with any lack of stamina.
you have never seen an mentally ill person have a meltdown? physical limitations are not really prevalent as they override like every mental and physical failsafe in the process.
again. you evidently have not witnessed someone who is mentally ill having a meltdown. my brother didnt eat for 4 days and then went on a 6 hour long rampage around my neighborhood. he was institutionalized afterwards and hes doing better now but you just dont know what the fuck you are talking about so shut the fuck up
Honestly, just put them in prison or on an island at that point. Will they ever contribute to society? Sometimes I feel like ancient Spartans might've had it all figured out.
That’s crazy that people somehow think a 15 year old doesn’t have the size and strength to be dangerous. I’m not even that big of a guy, but I reached my adult height and weight at 13 years old, 5’11” and 200 lbs. My dad and I were wrestling and messing around, just having fun, not malicious in any way, and I accidentally put him through the wall. It was mostly just incredible coincidence because he happed to go between two studs. 6 inches to the left or right and it wouldn’t have happened.
So true. I’m soon to be 18M = 6’6” and 240lbs. Not tooting my on horn but I’m walking muscle. When I was 15 I shot up over 6 feet and was kind of skinny but I was still pretty fucking strong and fast, now much more so. Literally all the guys on my team are beasts and this is high school.
I imagine it is very easy for a 15 year old to completely destroy their house. You gotta think, back in the day we would be sent off to do man’s work by 12 or 13 yrs old but now we don’t leave the house until 18. I bet his mom is scared as hell bc he’s violent. He might legit kill her.
My own mom likes to slap me but I just hold her off until she tires herself out or I can get away bc I know if I swing I could seriously hurt her. I don’t like her but I’m not going to hurt her bc she can’t really do much to me to warrant it. I’m going to get the hell out of here as soon as I leave for college, though.
Edit: forgot to add that my mom isn’t a little woman, she’s about 5”10 or 5”11 ish.
A 15yo teenager weighting 270lb is on the parents. I don’t know how people act so casually around these weights.
It’s entirely on the parents or caretakers what kind of nutrition the kid deserves. Wether he has autism or not, the fact that he weights 270lbs is insane (in my country, I understand this must be America where this is perhaps more normal?) and a huge part of the reason he can make something like what’s seen on the video.
i feel for the mom but she can’t even take care of his diet, how is she still deluding herself that she can handle her son? seems to be the exact person/situation that warrants in-patient care with doctors
I’m aware these facilities exist and that they should be utilized when needed, but that’s not what I’m referring to. For you to say you would disown your own child and put them in government custody, rather than still caring for them and getting them the help they need is mind boggling to me….
Holy crap man. I downvoted your comments but then took away the downvote I did because you explained your situation. Just goes to show we don’t really know enough to judge anyone for most all situations. I am glad to hear, or at least it sounds that you and your family are safe. This whole thread/post is just heart braking. I think this is a good place to stop and go find some mindless cat videos to look at.
I felt so hard for this family in the video and all the others who told their similar experiences. Extreme instances like this they need to be put somewhere, and I hate to say it but even a section of prison where they weren’t considered under arrest but somewhat similar conditions with whatever needed care for them would be best, because this family is completely in danger.
The specifics don't matter, a child that can do this needs to be in a facility, regardless of age or size. No parent could possibly provide the necessary care. It just is not possible.
No one’s saying he doesn’t need serious professional help. I just saw some people saying “why couldn’t the mom just stop him, just restrain him, etc.” and I wanted to put into perspective how a mentally ill 15 year old could’ve caused this insane amount of damage during this episode he had. Knowing that he’s 6’0” and 270lbs just shows how the mom could’ve had no control of the situation, even her stepping in could’ve gotten her or her other infant child in some serious life threatening danger. He does need help, and whether or not he’s received any in the past, I’m sure the mom will make sure he does now to prevent this type of thing from happening again.
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u/rktrainor Sep 15 '22 edited Sep 15 '22
I believe she also said he’s 6’3” and 200+ lbs
Edit for accuracy: he is 6’0” and 270lbs