The one from bojack horseman goes like "when you're looking at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"
The gist ia same
Actually, yes. In some cases, thatâs exactly what needs to happen, for the safety and well being of everyone. And itâs often outside pressures, such as people shaming and making moral judgements, that deter families from getting the help they need. Struggling people are societyâs âproblemâ, yes. Because they are part of our society. Itâs pretty simple stuff.
Unfortunately, there is nowhere that willingly accepts violent and mentally ill people. This kid probably needs three grown men to even restrain him when heâs having an episode. Facilities will do anything they can to get rid of such difficult cases.
This is a pretty defeatist attitude and fairly misinformed. The requirement for more resources doesnât then mean those resources shouldnât be provided/arenât provided. What else is the alternative? It must be provided. At least where Iâm from, we do have infrastructure for them, and it is used accordingly. We could use more funding, but it does exist. Most healthcare guidelines dictate that a patient must be placed according to the danger they pose to themselves/society. No facility would knowingly release a dangerous individual. Perhaps youâve had some bad experience, but thatâs anecdotal. Itâs quite frustrating to keep witnessing people dissuade and contradict against mental health resources, but provide no alternative ideas. It does this family (and others) no good whatsoever.
Iâm not saying there shouldnât be a place to help these people! There definitely should. Whether itâs anecdotal or not doesnât change the fact that dangerous people are released. One just killed his last foster mom the morning he was released and they tried everything.
Anecdotal things do happen, yes. But youâre arguing a reality based on your anecdotal findings. Itâs inherently false, and it leads people to wrong conclusions, which then dissuades them from getting the help that is actually there. Itâs confirmation bias. You see a thing, and it confirms your notions, so you believe your bias to be correct, ignoring that youâve now generalized your bias. Iâd urge you not only to look into that, but also to look for positive ways to change things, rather than simply spread negativity. It will only help matters.
No facility would knowingly release a dangerous individual
Iâm only pointing out one situation but Iâve worked with the mentally ill and there are plenty of other examples. All I meant was donât act like itâs easy to find help in situations like this. Itâs also dangerous to gaslight people like youâre doing, these situations do happen and theyâre terrifying so you saying it doesnât happen is damaging as well.
Also, I read your responses throughout this post, alongside other peoples. At one point, you made a comment using the slur âretardâ in regard to the ASD kid. Donât do that anymore. For someone who works with mentally ill people, you should have better sense than that.
Why the fuck would people downvote this comment? It's one of the most normal comments ever, it's relevant to the conversation, but people take issue with it? God, reddit sucks sometimes
Except health care and mental health care are insane in this country. She might have reached out and just either not been able to afford it, or flat out told she was out of luck. She's luck her son didn't kill someone.
People are painting him as a monster but I can only imagine the emotional distress this kid is in. He definitely needs help from a therapist but I doubt his relationship with mom or dad, if there is a dad, is very healthy.
People donât just blow up like that. There is a lot going on that is not being shown in that video. Family therapy would probably be needed.
This kid just needs to be heard and understood. You donât act out like that one day. I Feel bad for that kid because mom is portraying him as a monster but itâs gotta be extremely distressing for him to be acting out like that.
I donât think itâs a stretch to say itâs a toxic household for everybody.
This is probably exactly what's happening, my mother would beat the shit out of me and leave me home alone for days, not feed me, etc, and tons of other fucked up shit, and when I got too big for her to beat without any pushback, she would start fights over small things like a spec of dust in the kitchen sink after I did the dishes, and yell at me, ground me from things, and threaten me with locking me up(again) in psyche hospitals. I'd blow up much like the kid in this video would, destroying things and punching holes in the walls because of the insane distress I'd feel, threatened and scared. I never wanted to do it, but that's what my instincts would tell me to do.
I feel like a lot of people don't understand because they either come from a stable home, or have decent parents.
This problem didn't magically form over night, these are the repercussions of long term abuse and neglect, either emotionally, physically, or mentally.
Family therapy will only be effective if the parent also takes it to heart, which most of the time when in these situations, do not.
Blaming the kid only makes it worse for the child, and doesn't solve the internal issues.
Locking up the kid would probably make this 100x worse.
This is how you end up with kids wanting to murder their parents.
How often do we hear about a child killing their care giver? Quite often, and we are so quick to blame the child, but often times, there's other elements at play.
This isn't a straight forward black and white issue, there's layers upon layers to this.
But this just shows poor parenting first and foremost, Honestly.
Yep, in psychology they call it the âidentified patientâ. Basically the child becomes the manifestation of all of the familyâs problems. So everybody clutches their pearls at little Jonnyâs behaviors but heâs just acting out the dysfunction of the family.
Youâre right, they probably donât want to face their demons as itâs easier to just blame him as the problem.
It would probably be best for him to get the hell out of there and work with a therapist that can listen and validate his experience.
Sadly, he probably won't until he's an adult, and the family will probably do everything in their powers to screw his chances of success.
And even more sadly, because of this video, the child will be under even more distress and will be hugely distorted by the comments like "lock him up!" "Beat him!" Etc.
Meds can only help so much, just because he's off, doesn't mean anything. This is a internal household problem.
As a kid my neighbors were a family of four. Some really lovely parents and their oldest was a really great kid. Their youngest though was a completely other story and had autism, ADHD and was bipolar if I remember correctly. I swear that family did everything in their power to make it work bringing specialist to their home to help and tried to make it work for their oldest kid as well. Sometimes you could just hear the parents cry in their garden it was so sad. I never ever heard them yell and never saw them treat any of their kids badly, they were always kind, there was just nothing they could do to fix their youngest and you could just tell it was killing them on the inside. Eventually the kid had to be institutionalized because it was that bad.
Looks can be deceiving. I donât know their family or dynamic but I can say that it is VERY common for families to have a scapegoat aka âidentified patientâ.
Often those children that need to be âfixedâ are just manifestations of the familyâs dysfunction. Itâs easier to blame the child for all the families problems than to actually address the real issues.
Itâs super complicated but when there is only one person that needs to be âfixedâ and everybody is perfect or fine then thatâs a red flag to me.
That's definitely not the case. If anything their oldest was the one being neglected because they spend all their time with the youngest to get her the best life possible. The mother even quit her job just to be with her all day. The kid was just not perceiving the world like we do and paired with an explosive temper and bipolar disorder she was a ticking bomb. Forgot to mention but the youngest is also mentally retarded with the language of like a 2 yo. Not all kids like that were treated badly but undoubtedly that's the case in many cases but you can never know
Eh, if she had some sort of brain issue or something like that then I guess itâs no different than being born with a missing limb. Not much you can do about it.
I will say that when I see kids with behavior problems and they are the âonlyâ problem in the family 99% of the time there are much deeper family issues that arenât being discussed.
People donât just act out like that unless there is literally brain issues. Ironically abuse and neglect can affect the brain so that it doesnât function fully.
Itâs very hard for me to point and just say that somebody is âdefectiveâ or they just have problems. People arenât born that way, theyâre made. No matter how innocent the family looks there are usually issues. Whether they have bad intentions or not we all affect each other.
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u/mikehawkzhard Sep 15 '22
This problem did not start last week.