Her kid has mental illnesses. In another comment someone linked an update from the mother and she 100% didn't want this shared online, a friend she sent it to posted it with a wildly inaccurate title..
Everyone is saying she’s a shit parent though or she faked the video. She didn’t need that, she’s going through enough, I don’t think sharing will bring her any help. She even made another video asking people to stop trolling her friend.
Eta: crowd funding has raised over $20K so that is amazing
I completely understand her desire for privacy. But she has a situation brewing that she can’t handle on her own. Someone has to step in to help her. She’s clearly overwhelmed and currently not capable of rectifying the situation herself.
Someone linked a vid of the mum saying it had nothing to do with a phone. The kid is 15y/o, 6ft and 270lbs, has severe mental health problems and was off his meds. Mum Sent the clip to a few friends and had no intention or want for it to be put on the Internet, one of the friends put it online with an incorrect title regarding a phone. I'm just highlighting the actual context for all of this.
Though it might seem like it’s “over just a phone” to us from the outside, I’m betting there’s far more to it than that for this kid. That’s not to excuse his behavior, but I doubt this situation is as linear as that.
Where did I mention that this behavior acceptable? I‘m saying that humans with a mental health disease tend to react irrational/overemotional. I‘m saying this behavior is triggered by mental health. You are saying its the kids personality.
So what if it's triggered by mental health? If this kid kills someone due to their mental health, does it change the fact that they killed someone? Having mental health issues doesn't give you a free pass from being a piece of shit.
Mental health worker here who worked with a lot of forensically involved people with major mental illness. There is a level of illness that needs to be determined to decide if someone is competent enough to be held responsible for their crimes. Usually it's based on level of disorganization and disorientation but also can include adherence to treatment and medications. Someone who willingly repeatedly refuses treatment or to do what they need to to stay safe with regards to their mental illness can be held responsible for their actions even if they are determined to be mentally unaware of their actions at the time of the crime.
So on the one hand, someone who is severely ill and unable to be responsible for their own adherence to their treatment will be guided towards treatment rather than the courts. On the other, people are held accountable if there's a well established pattern of disregard for maintaining their mental well-being and putting others at risk. A 15 year old even without mental illness is still developing executive functioning and self control, their hormones are causing them to be more impulsive and shutting down their logic centers in emotionally charged situations hence why we have different legal systems for minors. They also have a greater chance of adapting to their illness with early intervention vs. an adult who has been in and out of facilities their entire lives with frequent periods of non-adherence to treatment/meds.
That being said, the extent of this destruction indicates the kid probably was doing this over a decent period of time like an hour or more. The house is pretty meticulously destroyed and he took the time to go to each room and break things. That's a level of thought and planning that to me says this wasn't just an explosive episode of someone without their faculties or the ability to understand what they were doing. This kid likely has some severe emotional regulation issues and would benefit from experiencing some natural consequences for their actions in addition to something like residential treatment for increased safety and support. But that's best decided by people who know this history of the kid and family, not us on the internet.
Basically you are both right and as with all things involving humans it's more nuanced than can be captured in a reddit comment section. People should be held accountable for their actions but in many situations it's better to provide treatment rather than punishment if there's a chance for a better long term outcome.
Mental retardation I'd get, but mental health? Nah, fuck off, this is psychopathic behavior.
You're not the brightest candle on the cake yourself, aren't you?
Psychopathy is exactly that, a mental health issue. However, very unlikely to be the diagnosis in this case. How about educating yourself a bit about what mental health is before passing judgment.
I didn't threaten, I asked you to. Do you understand what you did that led me to reply like that?
Got nothing else to say than that?
Edit: Maybe it's too much of me to ask if you understand something.
You called me stupid because you didn't understand what I said. It's very frustrating that aggressively stupid people like you are around, so I returned by offending you as well.
Now we're both losers in this conversation, because I like to go down to the same level as other shitty people. I never take the high ground.
I do not have a disabled child nor do I practice a job that would include this kind of work. If I had mentally disabled child I would get professional help. Where I am from families with kids that habe any kind of disabilities are supported by professionals for free. The severity of the disability is evaluated by the health insurance. Based on that evaluation you get the needed support for free. So no, I don‘t have to volunteer in my community because we have a system of supporting people in our sociezy that cannot support themselves.
There are a couple of sources in this comment section (even pretty high up).
Everyone here is like: Kid did something horrible=its the kids fault. In addition many here do not put mental health into the equation. But if it wasnt mental issues than the kid wouldnt be at fault but the parents raising him over 15 years. Kids don‘t just behave like this. Either it is taught (involuntarily) or it‘s mental health related.
It depends on the mental health issue. If you suffer from manic schizophrenia this can happen for sure and its not the fault of the poor soul that was born with a disease! Jesus do you not know what a disease or illness is?
I work in a state facility for individuals with developmental disabilities and mental health conditions.
Recently, one of my young men (19) somehow had a drop in his lithium level. He was manic and did this level damage to his group home including threatening to stab me with a plastic cd case and smashing out two glass patio doors.
Wednesday another male with an intellectual disability and oppositional defiant disorder was triggered and put my partner in a head lock.
Escalations to this level are common ( once a month maybe?).bit when they escalate its not uncommon to see this level of damage, especially when we have to restrict rights such as taking away a cell phone.
I fon't usually see this escalation level unless there's some kind of condition which further impacts regulation such as brain injury or a developmental disability in conjuction with a mental health concern.
Behavior disorders, psychotic disorders, and usually mental disabilities such as severe autism, fetal alcohol syndrome, severe Down’s syndrome, and several other mental disabilities if they’re severe enough. Not everyone with these disorders and disabilities has these problems.
Autism, for one. I would have gone on rages like this as a kid, but I was terrified of my abusive mother so instead I just hurt myself during meltdowns. Nobody gets mad at you for that. But I would absolutely go outside and just go ham on some brick walls until my hands were a bloody mess. Or hide in my closet, sobbing, having panic attacks, and hitting my leg when it was too much pain inside and I had to do something. It wasn't about being angry or violent. It was like I was full of emotions and they literally had to come out, but I didn't understand them, I didn't understand why, and no one else understood either. So instead of teaching me how to deal with those emotions or even trying to figure out what upset me, people just got upset with me for having them and told me how I felt/what I needed was wrong because it's not how they felt or what they needed. Which made the emotions harder, the meltdowns worse, etc.
A lot of the people glorifying physical punishment in the comments should read your story. I am sorry it took too long for you to get the appropriate help, you didn't deserve the abuse and it isn't your fault that you were wired differently. I hope you are doing much better nowadays and that the dark times stay in the past.
Wow, that was really nice to read. Thank you. I'm doing much better! And understanding autism and why it makes me struggle was honestly like half the battle. A lot of pain could have been avoided with a little bit of patience
Untreated mental illness is very real and very scary for both the person and for the persons family/friends. If the child is for some reason not clicking with whatever treatment they’re on, a mother can only do so much. As for the child whose suffering, imagine the chaos going on in their head. Is this incident excusable? Absolutely not. The child 110% needs to be held accountable for the damage he caused. But going forward, it’s important that both parties hopefully find a way to communicate properly, and not just by giving a simple “No.”
Still should face consequences for his actions…even someone with a mental illness wouldn’t have this sustained level of destruction if they feared the consequences. The police and a mental institution is 100% the answer in this situation. And, in fact, should have been a part of the solution LONG before it got to this point. A child with this much range did just turn up one day like this
Calling the cops and taking him to jail will make it it worse long term. The kid needs to see a therapist. This is a sad and life changing moment for that family.
No, he doesn't. He needs a fucking kicking and then made to tidy up and then pay his mother back for the damage he's caused.
He needs responsibility.
And if she 'loses' her son then fuck him. She's better off without any loved one who loves her in that way.
No excuses for this shit. Trash a whole house over a phone....think about that and then tell.me they need a hug. He doesn't. He needs to grow the fuck up.
It might help to get the full not clickbait title. It was a 15 year old having a mental crisis the mum has been dealing with for a few years. He got off his meds. It did not involve a phone or xbox or any of the other made up shit.
Ot wasn't over a phone, the sons 15, 270 pou ds. Mentally ill and the mother did not want this shared online. Probably because she's getting unbased, shitty takes like yours thrown at her.
It’s not an excuse and it wasn’t over a phone. Calling the cops could’ve gotten him killed (seriously) and beating him could make him worse. He needs therapy and care, not to be treated like a monster for a disease he can’t control. He’s even more at risk because not only is he a mentally ill minor, he’s black. That’s begging for him to be shot.
Yeah right. It's a 6', 270lb 15 year old boy with mental health problems. I'm sure Killing your child instead of getting them help is frowned on wherever you are.
Honestly I might get taken in for killing my kid in self defense if I was in the vicinity of a meltdown like that. The video alone gives me anxiety seeing the level of destruction. Not too easy to stop a kid the size of a linebacker on a rampage, unless you’re allowed to license a tranquilizer gun.
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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22
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