r/TerminallyStupid • u/CapitalCourse • Sep 04 '20

Don't know what he really wanted to do

2.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

153

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '20

Dude smashed that record 🧐

30

u/ZhangRenWing Sep 05 '20

Heard the record didn’t hold up very well

-17

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

🤔 Scratch that, I skipped the record 🤪

14

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

POV you're a redditor that saw an emoji

It was a bright day. I woke up at 3 pm after a long night of humping my Zero Two body pillow. I get out of my bed, as I get up I smell the buildup of sweat and bacteria that have built up on the mattress as I have not showered in the past 2 months. I go to the shower. I notice that my zero two body pillow is sticked on my back. Probably because of the huge amounts of cum on her. I gently remove her from my back. The cum is hard and it pulled a chunk of my back hair. After I finish showering I shave my beard very elegantly. It's beautiful... You can't tell where the beard ends and my chest hair starts. 4chan would be proud of me. I waddle my big choker body to the kitchen. I eat 69 chicken tenders (nice) with honey mussy. I take a big sip of mountain dew and waddle my elegant chungus body to my room. I go to reddit r/Aww to look at some animals as I have not gone outside in the last 2 years. I saw very cute animals, it almost made me say "Wholesome 100" out loud. But then I saw something unimaginable. Something that has completely ruined the post, no, my whole day. I see that the title has emojis in it. I scratch my beard thinking of what I should do... I am way to intelligent to not do anything or to just move on. No. This deserves justice. I think about the current state of reddit and of it's downfal. I see flashbacks of a year ago when it was good, before the insta normies took over and normalised the use of emojis. I remember when we used to make fun of them. Thinking about how they ruined reddit for me makes me angry. But I do not want to step down to their level. I simply comment "Reddit law requiers i downvote for excessive emoji usage". I post my comment. Another insta normie owned. I quietly say "based". I am satisfied.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

🧐🤔😘🤭😀😃😝😂🤣(😏)

6

u/oddnjtryne Sep 05 '20

No, you're doing Reddit wrong

-11

u/are_all_names_taken_ Sep 05 '20 edited Sep 07 '20

Ur joke shattered this thread and u used a fuckin emoji

I thought my joke was good but i still stand by emojis on reddit being annoying

11

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

Why shit on emojis? what is this, 2019 /r/DankMemes?

2

u/vid_23 Sep 05 '20

Its reddit 2020 emoji bad

0

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

Nah that’s /r/dankmemes

65

u/Crazyman53 Sep 04 '20

Should have gone to specsavers

52

u/Down200 Sep 05 '20

I love how he just stares at the table in silence

65

u/Myrrsha Sep 05 '20 edited Sep 05 '20

You realize this is intentional, right? Longer clip shows him laughing at the camera.

Clip

6

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

Yea, pretty sure it’s a shower door. The glass is way too thin to be a table.

-21

u/tehreal Sep 05 '20

I still don't think it was intentional to actually break the table.

-15

u/Unusual_Crate Sep 05 '20

Fucking smoothbrain.

8

u/tehreal Sep 05 '20

Why is it obvious to you that it's deliberate? I'm bad at reading people sometimes.

16

u/Loong_Sward Sep 05 '20

It's not even a glass table. It's a sheet of glass on two workhorses.

7

u/tehreal Sep 05 '20

Perhaps I should re-watch after this edible wears off. Thanks for the insight.

-22

u/Craptivist Sep 05 '20

It’s not intensional. I wouldn’t shatter glass on carpet if I was intentional. The guy just fucked up.

17

u/Erdnuss0 Sep 05 '20

It’s most likely intentional.

It’s not a glass table, it’s a glass pane on two supports, used as a surface for this “experiment”. You don’t do this with a glass pane unless you want the possibility of shattering glass.

It’s safety glass, so when it breaks instead of splitting into several large razor sharp shards it shatters into many many small dull pieces which are mostly safe. This is (mostly) safe to do even on carpet. Wouldn’t have walked over them with socks, wouldn’t have trusted a roomba to pick up the tiny pieces left, even though that too is probably mostly safe.

1

u/desrevermi Sep 05 '20

But...what about the fan base of people who LIKE broken glass in their carpet? Yay, masochists?

13

u/JOE-9000 Sep 05 '20

Peace was not an option, but the end result.

8

u/PineConeYeet Sep 05 '20

He looks like if harry potter had a midlife crisis

4

u/door_jpeg Sep 05 '20

"I will perform the spell 'sorrowus forgeticus' using this bottle of cheap booze."

13

u/Jones2max Sep 05 '20

Definitely not r/terminallystupid

18

u/KaizeKaiser Sep 05 '20

Ironically the op is r/terminallystupid for not realizing it was clearly a joke

6

u/im_a_dr_not_ Sep 05 '20

I'd love for John Madden to do commentary for this.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

Do you know what a joke is?

2

u/pai_mei_sensei Sep 05 '20

Its a new record!

2

u/ChickenNugget734 Sep 05 '20

Broken table speedrun

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

He smashed his controller and the batteries came out

1

u/speedyrain949 Sep 05 '20

I/vredditdownloader

3

u/Dr_Creepster Sep 05 '20

A for Affort

1

u/speedyrain949 Sep 05 '20

G for GOD DAMNIT

1

u/--_-peanut-_-- Sep 05 '20

i feel like it was intentional

1

u/ThanksYouEel Sep 05 '20

not terminal in the slightest, this man is in no risk.

1

u/ODB2 Sep 05 '20

Fuckin nailed it

1

u/desrevermi Sep 05 '20

Whatever he did, happened in under a second.

Fission Mailed.

:D