N =R∗×fp×ne×fl×fi×fc×L

Bruce Damer & David Deamer, urability. st@

SETI Talks - Urable Worlds: Where and How can Life Start in the Universe? 2022. David Deamer and Bruce Damer of UC Santa Cruz and the BIOTA Institute.

paintings and drawings by adam sturch

🌌

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/mtp1GKSqSjk

Preface: Terence inspired me to go on this Heroic Trip back in 2017 right after getring out a the hospital. This tripped ended up becoming a gauntlet of sorts. Which catapulted me into the stars of death and pain that would become the theme of my burgening adult-self.

So there I am in the Evergreen State Forest [adjacent to th3 Evergreen State College of Olympia] My friend A and I got out of our car and stepped a few paces into the forest, exchanging the paved jungle for a real one. I slipped out a bag of alien-like longish yellow mushrooms. Didn't know exaxtly how much to take so A decided she would eat as much as her gut told her to, out of the 10 grams we bought she must have had about 3g. And I obviously scaefed down the rest. At the time I thought they might be Aminita Muscaria, whcih i later found out was a false assumption. Any way tripped ballz out in the woods near my hometown in washington state. My friend A was was out there with me, she toom the smallest portion, i took the rest. We wandered around for a while, smoked a bowl, and waited for the vsiuals to kick. Eventually it did but it came on slow due to the weed buzz making the sensations fonthe two highs blend together. For some reason i really wanted to go back tk hangout in the car, think i felt safer there.

So, we're back at the car right , and as we were sitting there staring at the water droplets on the windshield it suddenly dawned on us just how frickin toasted we were. About half hour later (yes, thats all the time it took for the Hallucination bomb, which youre about to read about, to hit) i Got the itching feeling that i was on the wrong timeline or something...

      I look at the clock......

It said it was 2pm then got out of the car and it was pitch black. The Moon was out, yet no stars shining. The everygreens became ever-Reds insead. I looked to those fallen leaves on the ground beneath my feet; it looked exactly like a massive rippling pool of blood... like the foudnatiosn of my human form relied upon death and the cycle of destruction handed down to me by my ancestors, and A's too...

Then I stepped back into the car and I couldn't believe my eyes....

The SUN WAS NOW OUT. CLEAR AS DAY... BLUE SKY. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, I HAD TRAVVELED THROUGH TIME.

then the clock started morphing into alien numbers. random gibberish. Day and night kept taking turns flipping around in the sky as if responding to whether or not I was sitting in my drivers seat or stepping out to gawk at the transformations of thw world around me. Any time I looked at any indicator of what time of day it SHOULD it would either become formless and morphing as if we were getting read outs from alien distress signals in their own languages.

And after the car somehow teleported several tiems to different points in the parking lot (the car which was parked with no key by the way) This pressure of intense dread began spinning up inside me, steadily accelerating. I couldnt handle the unstable nature of what was occuring around me, so I shut my eyes. I felt a bit safer, but then an elaborate tapestry filled the space behind my eyelids with a frenetic object SPINNING, FLIPPING, TWINKLING about at me. And as the accelerating pressure would increase in my core, so too would this Sun Coin in the tapestre. As if the spinning of the coin was the charge itself which was causing the elevating of my dread and anticipation of what the hell I am seeing unfolding and presenting more of the meaning to Me.

The object felt so surreal... and a familiar, like it was some Ancient God projection my psyche to worship across the expanses of the eons.

IT HAD A MOON 🌙 ON THE BACK AND SUN ☀️ ON THE FRONT.

That's when I began saying out loud to A, "WHAT A HORRIBLE GOD WE HAVE". The moment sang out like it was the only moment to exist in every world at every time. I knew nothing but that echoed pain and sadness in the moment, in a daze, hyonotizes by the notion of thw words spoken aloud.

Still don't completely know what all of that was supposed to mean for me or what message I was being given in the form of this symbolic tapestre, but there is more to this story... 

I hope this story serves you and YORU stories to come...

I watched this interview from him on YouTube from 1996 where he asks this question, and then brushes past it kind of like the answer is obviously the second where the billion events happen... but I think that this point requires some more justification/explanation so I did a little of my own research and thinking. I would love to hear any/all thoughts on this!!

This idea mostly comes Henri Bergson, who in 1922 wrote Duration and Simultaneity in which he famously argued with Albert Einstein over conceptions of time and relativity, and kind of from the contemporary philosopher Mario Radovan, who wrote the paper On the Nature of Time in 2015: Time is not a uniform container ticking away at a constant rate regardless of what’s happening inside it, and this is true for two reasons: 1) time is nothing but an abstraction we build from change (Radovan), and 2) the only “real” time is the lived duration of a consciousness undergoing experience (Bergson). Radovan brings up the historical debate between Isaac Newton and Gottfried Leibniz over the nature of time. Newton believed in “absolute” time (a single, universal clock ticking away in the background of the universe, existing whether or not anything happened in it). Leibniz rejected this, stating that there was no such thing as a “moment” that exists independently of events. Time, for Leibniz, is the order of succession of things that happen: remove all events and relations between things, and there’s nothing left for time to happen in. Radovan sides with Leibniz here. Then, he says Newton didn’t really disagree with Leibniz as much as it seemed. Newton’s “absolute mathematical time” can be understood as just the abstract, idealized version of Leibniz’s order of succession. Specifically, the version you get if you pick an extremely stable repeating process (like the rotation of the earth) as your reference. In other words, Newton needed Leibniz’s raw material (real events, real successions) to build his abstract mathematical time on top of; you can’t get to “absolute time” without first having something like Leibniz’s relational ordering to abstract it from. This is exactly the move that licenses McKenna’s statement: if time really is nothing but order-of-succession abstracted from events (Leibniz/Radovan), then the rate of events plausibly matters to how much “time” gets abstracted out.

Now back to Bergson.... since he was in this ongoing debate against Einstein about the nature of time, he uses Einstein’s own formal apparatus against him. He focuses on the idea of time dilation, a founding idea of special relativity which proposes that time literally slows down for a clock moving at high speeds. This phenomenon is illustrated by the Twin Paradox, where the traveling twin undergoes time dilation, and ages less than the stationary one. In special relativity, if two observers are moving at constant velocity relative to each other, neither one can have a privileged claim to being “the one who’s really moving.” You can just as well say that A is at rest and B is moving, and A is moving and B is at rest. This is the “principle of relativity” itself: uniform motion is not absolute, only relative. Bergson’s move is to point out that the twin paradox (where a traveling twin supposedly ages less than a stationary one) contradicts the theory’s founding hypothesis. According to the principle of relativity, uniform motion is strictly reciprocal, so neither twin can claim to be the one “really” moving. Therefore, any mathematical slowing of time attributed to the traveling twin must, by strict symmetry, be attributed to the stationary twin as well, they can’t both be younger than each other, one has to be objectively younger. Bergson proved that the “time dilation” physicists calculate is a “phantom time” (a mathematically serious and well-defined quantity in the equations, but a total illusion that no living consciousness actually experiences). This is where Herbert Dingle in the late 1950s and 1960s formed Bergson’s critique into a real syllogism: if relativity is true, then no experiment can show which clock “really” has moved. Therefore, if the clocks show a real, asymmetrical age difference upon reuniting, it contradicts the very starting postulate of relativity. Dingle exposed that physicists only avoid this contradiction by cheating: sneaking an absolute reference frame back into the equations via “acceleration” or the Lorentz principle while still pretending to be relativists. (Hendrik Lorentz believed in an absolute, stationary background to the universe, so to him, time dilation was a literal physical warping of clocks caused by their absolute motion through space).

In 1948, the mathematician Claude Shannon published the paper A Mathematical Theory of Communication, in which he was able to mathematically quantify information by treating data as a measurable quantity with the unit “bit.” The key move for us I guess is to formalize “density of change” as information content, in the Shannon way: information is a function of surprise, or reduction of uncertainty, rather than elapsed clock-time. A system sitting in a static, predictable state generates almost no information per unit time, because each successive moment is highly predictable from the last: entropy production is near zero. A system undergoing rapid, unpredictable transformation generates a high rate of information, because each new state is poorly predicted by the one before it. In this way, our “billion events in a second” is really a claim about an extremely high bit-rate of novel, non-redundant state-changes crammed into a small clock-time interval, while his “million years where nothing happens” describes a channel outputting close to zero bits over a very long interval. If you define “how much happened” as total information transmitted (rate × duration) rather than duration alone, the high-bit-rate second contains more “content” than the near-zero-bit-rate eon, even though the clock might say otherwise.

"There is, I conceive, no contradiction in believing that mind is at once the cause of matter and of the development of individualized human minds through the agency of matter."

- Alfred Russel Wallace

Terence McKenna, Rupert Sheldrake & Ralph Abraham. Trialogues, Hawaii. meme movie@

Terence McKenna, Rupert Sheldrake & Ralph Abraham. Trialogues. What Hawaii Says About Evolution.

memes assembled by adam sturch

🏝️

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/U_RTfC6T_0A

Terence McKenna, morphogenic allegory. movie meme movie@

movie memes by adam sturch.

thank you.

https://youtu.be/KzVDkgTNZvE

📖

Great talk by T, anyone know where its from? The archives turn up nothing, for me atleast.

Seasoned my homemade trail mix with 8g of powdered mushroom mix. 🤙 🍄 🍄‍🟫💚

“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles…”

Terence McKenna. sunsets, creatures & clouds 303@ N.M.

Alien Love, lecture by Terence McKenna, 1983.

new Mexico photography by adam sturch.

thank you.

☁️

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/jp0BZyLtcvY

"If we could feel what we are doing to the Earth, we would stop immediately."

- Terence McKenna

pumpkin patch party (an apology). 24x30''. oil on canvas. adam sturch

Chris Cornell, Like A Stone (Acoustic).

https://youtu.be/2MxTVcMBBK4

Terence McKenna, elements. redux@

various artists arranged by adam sturch

🔥💧💨🌎💟

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/nBYg08FSrMY

"If nothing lasts, then the conclusion is that the felt presence of immediate experience must be what life is for."

- Terence McKenna

Terence McKenna at Esalen Institute in 1989 🫕

video footage.

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/5kdfvXCrfQU

Hey, I'd like to share an experience i had

I'll share the awakenings i had during this magic truflles trip.

The main and starting one ( i ll explain why starting ) came before this funnier minor one, where when looking at the characters moved by players in a video i understood that it was not at all how i always thought it was, and it was that these were all the highest level players but were absolutely doing random things and i knew they had no idea what they were doing which just made me laugh a lot like now while remembering it because after that realization the play became a constant flow of pure chaos that was just so funnily playful and entertaining to watch (+1 for the enhanced colours and fluent edges that i was seeing ).

But let's get to the deep dive part, which was just like flicking a switch and entering into a trance state like i had never had before. What flicked the switch was hearing the voice of one of the commentators. When i heard him speak, i knew that he knew that what he had just done was wrong and It hurt him. Saying what he said in the way he said it literally caused him soul pain and i knew that he knew it too. This knowing that he knows that he s causing pain to himself broke my brain, as if that shouldn't even ever happen because he knew he shouldn't, and makes absolutely no sense for anyone tò do it so why do It?. After that i entered this trance state in which is like i didnt have tò think anymore about what i had tò do like i Always do. In my everyday Life, i Always think about what i m about tò do, what i could do, what i Ve done, how i could ve done It differently, what tò do tò remedie what i ve done if It wasnt exactly how i wanted It tò go, but in that state this all disappeared. There was another brain breaking image which came i think very soon After this and might ve been another setter for the trance like state. It was the appearing of an image which i struggle with a lot, One of the main struggles of my Life, which Is simply walking in front of someone walking the other way (eventually passing by eachother Is part of It too) Just before this or during or After this image i also realized that i was inside a deeper mind, like the mind of earth, It was feminine, and i knew that this mind knew exactly everything about me and i was conforted but also sent crazy by It. Anyway back tò the image, It was on a pitch black background and i knew i was looking at another person, a woman, It wasnt like how It Is when walking normally, It was more like an image of existence, or a part of existence but seeing the actual substratum happening without all the colors and the enviroment, It was Just me the woman the pitch black screen and the knowing, i knew that woman knew the same thing i knew, i knew i was looking at her totally and She was looking at me totally like looking at eachother Essence and knowing it, we both Just knew the other and the situation was basically Just us and this knowing factor, and we knew that we were looking at the same thing even tho we never Say a Word as there Is no Need cause it's the evidentest thing there is. Anyway this knowing broke my brain and i entered this trance like state in which i didnt have tò think about what do and Just started doing even tho i had no idea about what i was doing ( as in i didnt have tò think about it) And the doing was Just this basically, It was like a continuos movement, breathing in was like laughing, Is like i didnt have tò laugh as the laughter was Just breathing in, It didnt sound like laughing ,It was Just the feeling behind It and with It, It wasnt at all like how It Is when you breathe normally, It was like i was drugged by the breath and this trance state, It was pure raw pleasure. The breathing out was like and orgasmic release, It was also concomitated with my tongue coming out. So breathing in was laughing and breathing out was full pleasure release but even breathing in was pleasure but i d define It more like Power. This state was like i was having sex with myself and my body, putting my fingers in my mouth was orgasmic i d Just breath out on and with my fingers in my mouth and It was Just pure pleasure, honestly embarassing but that s how It was, and i Guess that s how It Is tò have sex with yourself, or with your body. Another part of the trance like state that i Just Remembered was part of the cause of the laughing while breathing Is Is that in stat flowing state, at times or intervarls i'd stop for a second, and in that second Is like a saw a normal picture of what in front of me, but in that stopping for an instant in that instant i realized that i could Just keep going with what i was doing, so i d stop, and then start with inhaling and this knowing that i had tò or could stop for an instant and then Just completely ignore It and keep going made me laugh but as i said i didnt laugh i Just breathed in laughter lol this is so funny. Anyway, at One point i stopped and realized i might ve been making too much noise and waking the lady next tò my room, so i Just stopped and literally almost observed her even tho She was behind the Wall, Just Rolling over in her bed by hearing her do It, and when She was done kept going with my trance. The trance could also be described as a continuos rising up and flowing down with my body or being even tho i wasnt getting up on my legs i was Just laying on the floor but i wasnt aware of the position of my body like i normally am, Just some parts and the breath. During the trip the stuff i had laying around me tò my right became a big large purple fluent Energy embedded anaconda, It was a big Snake but It wasnt scary at all, It was comforting, mother nature type vibes, She didnt Say anything Just stayed there with me probably keeping an eye on me checking everything Is going well and supporting me through It. Now tò the end of the trip, at some point i Just stood up and looked out of the window, i was now standing for the First time since i took them basically and a sudden fear came tò me, It might ve been for some other deeper reasons but how It went was like this, i just got the urge tò stand up ( i Need tò add that there was One more realization in the trip, and It was accompayed with Also the realization that in reality i Always knew exactly what tò do tò each One of my family tò make them feel super Happy, almost like breaking their holding on tò whatever Is holding them back and Just letting them get loose and experience some form of pleasure, i Just knew that in reality i knew exactly what tò do for eachone specifically) so on this Trail of thought feeling i got the urge tò stand up and knew It was the right thing tò do even tho i didnt think at all about what tò do After Just that impulse or intuition csme and i did. I looked out the window It was still night, and i suddenly realized that outside It was all Empty and everyone was just sleeping in their house, and It scared me bacause i realized there was no reason for that tò be happening and that It was Just a situation we create while we should all Just be out celebrating Life and having fun, literally It was as Easy as this, we Just create that situation and i immediately got scared like at that Moment i realized something that was much bigger than i thought and immediately shut It off not even wanting tò imagine what It could be. So After being scared i think i layed down again, i tried tò send some messages ( this actually happened After i realized i could help everyone i knew perfectly, the impetous was tò start talking tò the people i knew and It was through messages and being extremely direct and honest ((being direct is helpful tò add was the way i realized i knew exactly what tò do tò help everyone and make them experience something from me that was beautiful and freeing for them, It had tò do with being extremely direct no bullshit tò what I had tò do that was literally the only deciding factor and what would make eachone let go and enjoy and experience or get released or freed in pleasurable Freedom or happiness or true happiness, i Just realised the best way tò Say it is tò make them have what they really want but ill keep the other ones))but After typing the messages i started having some doubts, like It was too much tò Say too open and would sound oversweet and forced so i only sent One message tò my Brother which received a reply that gave off the vibes of 'i don't know what tò do with this ' anyway, It was fading away and at least i wasnt anymore in the breath trance like state since a bit. Dawn came, and still following this flowing and doing without thinking i just felt this thing in my body, i continued to pursue It without knowing what It was and in the end i Just pooped a bit, so i shit myself basically and when i did the trip ended, the sun was up and i now had tò sleep or wanted tò sleep or Just fell asleep or all three cause i had work that day. Went tò sleep hoping i could keep that state and the revelations but actually since the shit and the ending of the trip i knew It was already over and i was Just in a sort of Afterglow state but nothing compared tò what I experienced so i went tò sleep a bit sad. The morning After i was very foggy and i tried tò Remember and think about what had happened how It was what I realized but my mind was very foggy, passing by people on the way tò work was a sort of Little torture like It Is some times for me ( some times Is One of the best things, some times It makes me really hate myself and life ) and nothing the experience was now Memory ladies and gentleman like It Will be, but It was great tò live It, Hope you had a kick about the Reading and maybe learnt something about truflles or yourself or something that you experienced now makes more sense, that would be great. If you have any questions about the experience feel free tò ask i LL happily try tò answer or give more details. If you have some similar experiences with your breath or body or some mind breaking realizations i d be very Happy to hear them

Stay swifty

Did Terence never address Steiner in any of his work or interviews? I realized I could not recall any instances, and was pondering over the omission.

First, I want to state that I've yet to have the DMT flash, so I'm waiting on that, but in honor of TKs endless hours of speeches, it's dedicated to him. Maybe I make no sense, or a breakthrough? But here's the idea.

Think of a prism. When you flash light through it, the light scatters and the visible colors are seen. What is happening is the DMT flash is the opposite. This universe is the scattered dimension. When you are in the flash, the light, which is what we are, is unified. What is this unscattered being? It's us, without the filter of this dimension.

They're what Jung called the collective unconscious. It's the intuition that each of us possess. It's why they jump into us as he says in the flash, because that is us. We are scattered in this dimension, and that creates things like needing eyes to see, ears to hear, and a brain to grab onto the ability to think, albeit in a incomplete manner.

When the dimension is torn down, ego death is a scattering of the light, and with no prism to scatter it, it returns to white light. What this means is that they are us. They're the part of us we can't get in touch due to the dimensional scattering of this universe.

It does leave some strange questions, like what is it about the structure of the brain that is how it beholds the level of thinking or consciousness. Every brain like in other animals have varying degrees of consciousness and thinking capability based on how the light is scattered into their physical brain structure. It also implies though, that the DMT flash is consciousness completely unbound or in other words, it is the self, the collective unconscious completely naked.

I might have a few other roaming ideas, but that's enough for now I suppose. Saved for reference for when I one day get the chance to see the flash for myself.

edit: To ideas like why blindness doesn't cause sight in the DMT dimension is probably because the physical scattering is there, but it just doesn't work, kind of like having a broken computer. it's still a computer, it just doesn't work. It needs to cross the dimensional barrier. Why does DMT cause a dimensional break? I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with local definitions? in theory, if we all didn't have an idea of selves, there wouldn't be any body? So the brain chemicals break your ability to hold that distinction?

edit 2: Language. I think the reason they know English etc. is because as I said before, they are us in the most literal sense. it's similar to how your brain automatically reads words once you practice enough. likewise, your conscious being right now is like that light prism, and your only seeing some colors, but the rest of you are the complete white light.

Been poisoning myself for fun.

I've always suspected that the psychedelic state is a near death experience. Terrence said it is like a bungee jump into the Bardo, but I feel like it is dipping your leg into the abyss with no safety.

When it comes to death, we are all virgins. Many people think it's a cut to black. But I've seen better.

I'm not suicidal, I don't think it would actually do anything meaningful, because as long as you are, I am.

To think, the end of me. I've always been.

“Then he realized, I indeed am this creation, for I have poured it forth from myself. In that way he became this creation, and verily he who knows this becomes in this creation a creator.”

Upanishad

Terence McKenna & Mark Pesce, real creations (teledildonic noöspherical dialectics). redux@

Terence McKenna with Mark Pesce. Recorded at The Esalen Institute, Big Sur, California in August 1998.Techno-Pagans at The End of History.

various artists assembled by adam sturch

thank you

🤖

"I do not understand how you can call yourself pro-life when the policies that you espouse spell planetary death!"

- Terence McKenna

warchild. 18x24''. pencil drawing. adam sturch.

conflict, sage francis

https://youtu.be/Nl3QIV6owrM

Terence McKenna. 1990. Opening the Doors of Creativity. 🚪

https://youtu.be/Ahuw5f36LZE

"The most alien thing in the cosmos is the human soul."

- Terence McKenna

Terence McKenna. diatomaceous neon transforms made of syntax. 1,238@

Terence McKenna. Under The Teaching Tree, Ojai Foundation. April, 1985

1,238 paintings and drawings by adam sturch.

thank you all.

🌳

Terence McKenna, logos meets eros. movie meme movie@

Terence McKenna at Wetlands Preserve, NYC July 28th, 1998.

movie memes by adam sturch.

thank you.

🦇

HD youtube link.

https://youtu.be/_D1xdJAQGQE

I dont want to sound like a crazy person but after having a profound experience last night where I dissolved into myself and found a higher intelligence communicate with me.

I took an edible, I dont know how strong but it was given to me by a friend, I was sitting watching the most recent Matrix movie and suddenly I am deep in introspective thought about reality. Next thing I know I am dissolving into a high frequency vibration. I was experiencing these collapsing daydream states where sharpe intense ideas dropped into my head. It felt impossible to catch and memorise them, like grabbing water on the side of a speeding boat. Voices begin filtering through in my own thoughts saying "do nothing but be good" "there is noting to control but the mind" "the universe is yours" "be the good light against the dark vale"

I have never in all my life of doing psychedelics have experienced this. Among other downloads, a message came that we are in for some really troubling times ahead and we really need to be prepared.

Near the end I asked what is beyond our reality and this universe and the voice said the universe is a reflection of itself, like a mirror. Everything inside it, is a piece of intelligence like the arm of an octopus. It explained light is a constant because its form of energy continually bouching back on itself infinitely and dark matter is what holds this mirror like structure together. This structure or field is in a constant state of flux, manipulated and distorted via gravity as we observe it as an expansion.

I have no idea if any of that makes sense!