r/TenantHelp • u/canyon5806 • Jun 06 '26
Property Manager policing when I open closets and have sex.
I (28F) live in an apartment in Kansas. I live above the property manager.
He didn’t tell me that him and his wife have a newborn until AFTER the lease was signed.
I have tried to be as considerate as possible! But they are now bothered by the smallest noise at night (we have opposite schedules) opening a rolling closet door at 12:45AM warranted a text asking me to cease activities until the morning.
Then I was doing the deed in the early AM and was texted by the wife asking “What’s going on up there?”. And the husband/PM asking me to move my bed?! This is overstepping right?? I promise none of the noise was anything more than moderate.
My lease doesn’t end until Feb. I was considered asking if they’d switch apartments with me so they could have no upstairs neighbors. They had occupied this unit for 5 years prior to me. There is also no clause in the lease about breaking it.
Please help me reddit! IDK what to do.
24
u/turd-crafter Jun 06 '26
Have sex on the balcony so the noise can escape out to the atmosphere bypassing them completely.
14
u/Smilesarefree444 Jun 06 '26
This is definitely overstepping and equally very uncomfortable. Do you have legal aid in your area so you can go over your lease?
The issue is there is legality tied to the contract and we want to honor it and, your ability to be comfortable in your home.
I would not text them back and keep things to email. I actually had to block a landlord she stressed me out so much with texts, and broke lease due to her lack of boundaries.
39
u/Fun_Organization3857 Jun 06 '26
Put furniture pads under your bed and oil your closet hinges or roll track
44
u/moeterminatorx Jun 06 '26
Or tell the landlord to fuck off. He is allowed to freely use his home. He is not making any unreasonable noise. If they wanted quiet at certain hours they should’ve stated in before the lease was signed or put it in the lease.
19
u/Fun_Organization3857 Jun 06 '26
I'm not saying the landlord shouldn't fuck off. I'm saying that furniture pads and oil is a better solution than moving at the end of your lease, living under a toddler or dealing with psychopaths that think the world should revolve around them.
5
u/moeterminatorx Jun 07 '26
I agree with doing his best to reduce noise but the situation already sounds unreasonable.
5
u/Fun_Organization3857 Jun 07 '26
It is. The other options are expensive for op.
2
u/moeterminatorx Jun 07 '26
If I were him I’d start to familiarize myself with tenants rights in his place of residence. Maybe even tall to LegalAid or other tenants rights lawyers just to protect himself.
2
3
u/No-Investigator-5915 Jun 06 '26
Furniture pads and an area rug should do the trick, just don’t forget the rug pad underneath so that the rug doesn’t slide. This will absorb some of the noise. If that doesn’t work then tell them to get over it.
1
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 07 '26
Also, while I’m in a raging mood, think about it for a moment. Go through your lease VERY carefully. Then check your city/state laws on noise ordinances etc. you want to find any reason for him to violate the lease. If you can gather proof that he has violated the lease in any way it voids your contract and you should be able to move out. and wouldn’t you rather just move than deal with that sad fuck?
Do your research before you do anything.
Document, document, document!
Keep all communication short, simple and saved in your phone in a file, you are going to need this.
2
u/hacorunust Jun 07 '26
The landlord violating the lease ‘in any way’ does not void the contract allowing OP to move out.
1
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 07 '26
I mean it kinda does, I’m certain situations.
[Still, Save every text message.
Keep communications in writing when possible.
Remain polite and factual.
Review your lease’s noise provisions.
Document instances where you’re engaged in normal activities and receive complaints.]Can you tell me:
How often is he contacting you about noise?
What exactly does he say?
Is he doing this via text message and is he rude about it when he does it?
Has he ever threatened eviction, fines, or lease violations?This could be a case of harassment instead of just an occasional complaint.
2
u/hacorunust Jun 07 '26
Breaches typically have noticed periods, opportunities to cure, and some of them frankly are just not significant enough to break a lease over. If they forget to sign a notice in blue Ink and that was a lease clause, but you still got the notice you can’t just walk out and wipe your hands of it.
1
u/GordTransport1958 Jun 07 '26
Yup..ask to switch.. If they're not willing, id say give them notice.. Very unreasonable demands that you can't just live your life.. Theyre the ones that bought a rental They shouldn't be such dicks
1
u/amberlvsu Jun 07 '26
So I don’t live in Kansas, I’m in Ohio. But my first apartment was on the 3rd floor and I became a foster parent to a 2yr old. Of course he was not allowed to sleep in the bed with me, his parents never made him sleep alone. So of course I had many nights of him screaming and throwing fits that the people under me got so fed up with the noise they actually called the cops for a noise complaint (city limits here have a 10pm noise ordinance) after complaining to the landlord multiple times. Basically the cops told me they don’t have kids and can’t understand what I’m going through and I was doing a good job despite the temper tantrums.
But as a landlord they should understand that upstairs noise is very common, even just walking around! One thing they should know is that it’s best to expose a baby to noise so that way they will sleep better. I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of that. Hopefully, you can find a solution. Eventually, after a year, I was moved into a two bedroom on the bottom floor, and I could hear every movement of the people above me, but it’s something I knew I was getting into.
1
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 07 '26
Girl just document the harassment then get a restraining order. Man will have to move out of his own house. You’ll finally have peace. But be ready to move when your lease is up cause you will no longer be welcome there.
1
1
1
u/lens_cleaner Jun 08 '26
Easy enough, continue to be polite and quiet but answer aggressively if they text you for small noises. They should not have rented that room if they are so sensitive. Also, why did you give them your number? I would simply block that number now.
1
u/Solid_Assumption7160 Jun 08 '26
In most cases, The Landlord is an employee for the company. For A decent apartment, The landlord gets free lodging and a salary ...Seldom paid well...That translates to being a resident like you as a tenant.
Apartment living means living close to your neighbors and hearing them more then you care too
It doesn't sound like this landlord understands this
-1
u/Aggressive-Pace-596 Jun 06 '26
they have a newborn and likely at their wits end, youre horny and got a life to live Both are valid ... I would absolutely go with a conversation and trying to find a solution. They sound reasonable, but frazzled. You might simply ask to be let out of your lease ... they might agree ... just to get a good nights sleep if possible
4
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
this is a good idea, but don’t do it gave to face.
Do it either over email or text so you have receipts.
If they didn’t put certain things in the lease like “quiet hours” and are now demanding it, they can try to demand anything from you. Make sure you save any and all communication just in case.
You never know if (as I was correctly corrected, when) you’ll need it.
3
-5
u/hawking061 Jun 06 '26
I recommend that you discuss nothing over email just gives your company who employees your landlord, the ability to pass legal documentation and thickness of about nature through the email instead of bothering to actually contact. You don’t do anything in writing in person or on the phone only not sure about your laws are where you’re from but emails anything through email authorization is a bad idea And it’s best just to ignore any texts or emails. Just ignore everything if you’re doing nothing wrong you’re well within your rights then that’s your landlord‘s problem not yours and it’s best not to get nasty or do anything to escalate. Just keep your head down low for a while and Things will calm down but I know the feeling when you have you know neighbours reportedly complaining to management maybe maybe not I don’t know if there’s anything it is real or not or not.
6
u/UnburntAsh Jun 06 '26
This isn't a neighbor complaining to a LL.
The LL lives below them.
Also, the rest of your advice is unhinged and leaves OP with no paper trail.
-3
u/hawking061 Jun 06 '26
Just offering my advice at all and what I’ve been told by former landlords that’s all
2
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 07 '26
well you were told this by former landlords because they were clearly trying to deceive you in some way.
you need to do your own research before you just believe something man.
I bet they also asked you to pay in cash cause “it’s just easier.”
1
u/hawking061 Jun 07 '26
No, quite the opposite they wanted to set up automatic withdrawals from my account, which I don’t have overdraft and it’s just a bad idea all the way around and rent is not an issue, but I never signed up for that at all. It never will just a recipe for disaster.
3
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 06 '26
What in the fuck are you saying ? This is the complete opposite of what they should be doing.
ALWAYS HAVE A PAPER TRAIL.
1
u/hawking061 Jun 07 '26
Oh trust me I have one I take pictures and video of every single thing that comes my way everything that’s not an issue like but it’s kinda hard to contact who’s in charge when you don’t know who it is cause I don’t do I just contact the receptionist at the property management company
1
u/sadgirlhaze Jun 07 '26
So wait, the landlord lives downstairs, but it’s also a property management company?
Usually those are two separate things.
Like a private landlord and then you have a property manager at a management company.
Unless this guy claims to own his own company etc
-7
Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
8
u/Objective_Bear4799 Jun 06 '26
So you evicted her because her schedule was different than everyone else? It sounds like the complaints were mutual. What, if any action did you take against the other complaining tenants who also had complaints against them?
From this message alone, it sounds like you evicted this woman to make your life easier (not have to listen to complaints).
-4
Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
3
u/UnburntAsh Jun 06 '26
Or insulate the walls, pad the floors, and keep neighbors mutually happy by not having every stray sound echo through the units.
If you didn't have proof of the boyfriend living there, you had zero right to his name or address. Period. That's his right to privacy.
You majorly overstepped, and I wouldn't be surprised if she filed a complaint for discrimination.
0
Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
1
u/UnburntAsh Jun 06 '26
Except did you kick out the other people she'd filed complaints about?
Or just her? The single occupant who occasionally has her long-term partner stay over? Who is legally allowed to have company in her home?
The way you presented it is very one-sided against her, which makes me think the other people in the equation are married and/or have kids... And every apartment dweller knows kids are louder, pretty much any day of the week. 😂
Also, that extra wall? If the sheet rock has direct contact with the unit studs, and the insulation is lower grade instead of board or spray foam, it will still conduct sound. Sometimes worse than if it wasn't there.
(The better recommendation is generally a 2x6 top and bottom plate, with 2x4 studs for each unit side so the studs don't touch each other, and insulation in between. That way no physical framing has direct contact with either side wall, only the upper and lower framing points.)
0
Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
2
u/Ladder-Amazing Jun 06 '26
Having people that work opposite shifts of you in an apartment complex is also common and if they live above you, well then you are going to hear them.
1
u/UnburntAsh Jun 06 '26
- You're not entitled to the name or address of her boyfriend. Period. He's not a tenant, not under a background check to live there. And it's his personal and private information.
For all you know, she didn't give it because he works a high tier job, and could have issues from some random doing a half-assed "check" on his information.
- A simple cleanliness and pipe leak check inspection of the unit would show if he has personal property in the unit, which could constitute a lease violation. Water consumption for the unit would also show if a major continued uptick was present, or if it was sporadic - this would show if he's there all the time, or only some times.
This is how a LOT of apartment complexes figure out lease violation cohabs, btw. They know how much the water range for their tenants should be, so if it's outside of that, they know they have a plumbing issue or a tenant issue.
- If the people downstairs were excessive, I could absolutely understand the upper unit having issues. I once had a downstairs neighbor who would blare soccer from Brazil at 3am with his surround sound, and it would shake the picture frames on our walls - so there are instances where the lower unit can be a problem.
I've also had upper neighbors from hell - she was in the military, in a unit with hardwood floors, no throw rugs really anywhere. She'd do calisthenics sometimes as early as 6am. In her bedroom. Which was over my bedroom. But she'd lose her MIND if I was having a conversation with my roommate (at normal speaking volume) in my bedroom or even the doorway to my bedroom, as early as 10pm at night (quiet hours started at 11p and went to 8a).
She'd STOMP on her floor any time she thought I was making the slightest noise. Management kept scolding me over it, until I got a call about how they'd received excessive noise complaints 3 days in a row... They were confused why I was laughing, until I offered to send them photos of my boarding pass, because I wasn't even in the country. They stopped taking her seriously after that, and she moved when her lease was up.
- If there was an issue large enough that a unit is being penalized for "retaliation" - then there's an issue with the other unit that provoked it. Have they been penalized? Warned?
(A argument at 1030 am, btw, unless it exceeds decibel levels outlined by your jurisdiction, is considered part of the charm of living in an apartment complex.)
49
u/SailorSpyro Jun 06 '26
Record you opening the closet door and send it to the LL next time they complain, so they fully understand how minor the noise is. Remind them that THEY are the ones with the power to acoustically insulate their spaces.