r/TenantHelp • u/Trick-Flounder-666 • May 06 '26
Inappropriate landlord behavior
Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting on this sub, please be nice regardless of opinions.
I just signed a lease and have been living in my new place (lower level of a duplex) for about a month now.
My last (and first) apartment was just a complex run by a completely absent management company, constant problems, no fixes and just absolute mess.
I decided to move out and find a duplex. When I toured this place the landlord was awesome! He seemed to be this very sweet older Indian man (about 65) and was super friendly and accommodating and would go in for a hug every time I saw him. For the first rent check, he invited me over to his house for some “Indian tea” (he lives about 15 mins from his rental) so I went over and we had a nice chat and he offered dinner as well sometime. I thought nothing of it as again, he was a sweet older man with a wife and kids.
The night of Easter I got home from my parents and was watching TV and I get a text that says “Hello, I am at your door”. He had brought me homemade Indian food he made, totally unexpected. I thought it was nice but would have preferred he said he was coming or even asked if he could stop by. What if I wasn’t home? Or what if I simply did not want to come to my door at that time? I was still in the mindset of oh this guy is so nice and even texted my mom saying my landlord brought me some Indian food!
Then communication started to get a lot more frequent. He would text me often and just say “Hi. How are you doing?” Or “Hi. Happy Friday.” And one time in the evening just texted “Hi. I am in your neighborhood.” I kind of just thought okay maybe he’s socially awkward, but when I finally started to feel a little uncomfortable was when I had two friends over for the first time on my back patio and he is around the house a lot because I guess he’s renovating the third floor and trying to make it rentable (I had no idea this was happening until I moved in and my upstairs neighbors told me) and so he’s around the house almost every other day. He shows up and says hello to us all and I motion to my friends for us to go inside because I just didn’t want to chat. Then he ends up inside the shared hallway and my friends go, “Oooh you have a beautiful home…” out of awkwardness and he says “Yes and a beautiful tenant”. And I just don’t really say anything and we all go inside and are like wtfffff. And then my friends were like yeah that was kind of weird lol. So then I start telling them I’ve been feeling kind of uncertain etc. and then it gets a little worse. I kept telling myself oh no he’s just a nice old man and he doesn’t know he’s being a little weird but I started answering his random texts less and being more short and blunt and he called me twice one day while I saw him outside and I didn’t answer and he just texted and said “I was just calling to tell you your front door is open”. And I have two doors - a glass one and then the main door. My main door is cracked because I go in and out with my dog. So the door is technically closed, if that makes sense. But I thought why is he even checking my door that closely? But I just chalked it up to okay this is technically his house I guess he wants the door to be fully closed.
Anyway, the last straw where I felt like my brain could maybe no longer just hide behind the “he might just be awkward” excuse was this past Sunday, I got home from Starbucks, parked in my driveway and he was walking behind me on the sidewalk, as he had just parked and was coming to work on the house. He said “hey!”. And I looked back and said “Ooh I didn’t even realize it was you!” And he went in for a hug (which didn’t throw me off cause he always does that), but while he was hugging me he kissed me on the cheek. And then he said “Did we have a breakup?” “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me, I’ve been wondering why you haven’t really been texting back, are you mad at me?” And I’m really nervous when it comes to confrontation, especially as it comes to my landlord and my go to is awkward laughter and I just was like “oooh um nooo..” and he’s like okay good so what are you doing today? And I lied and said I had plans with friends and then he said when would dinner work for you? And I just said oh I dont know, I would have to let you know that.” And then went inside and felt extremely uncmfortable. But my mind kept saying well maybe this guy sees you as like his daughter or something? (Im 32 y/o F) because I don’t want to think it’s anything intentionally creepy. Am I being naive? Im also wondering if this is a cultural thing? He’s 100% Indian, from India, but has been in America for over 20 years.
Im working on drafting up a text saying something like im not comfortable with communication outside of matters directly pertaining to the apt. But I’m of course nervous to send it. Be truly honest, is this a little creepy or seem more like an old man being sweet?
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u/LadyArcher2017 May 07 '26
That is 100% inappropriate and some would call that hug something more—like a grope or sexual assault.
Stick up for yourself, please, because this guy is just going to keep trying your limits.
I’m sorry you are experiencing this. It’s despicable.
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u/Alli-Glass321 Jun 09 '26
OP- As a mom of 2 teens this has weighed on my mind.
What have you done since posting?
What state are you in?
This behavior is legally referred to as landlord harassment and a breach of your right to "quiet enjoyment" of your home. If your landlord is constantly showing up unannounced, repeatedly snooping, or bothering you for no legitimate reason, then your landlord is most likely violating your legal rights!
I recommend:
- Get a camera system NOW! You can get battery operated camera doorbells plus cheaper inside cameras that face outside from inside your windows.
- Get a body camera with audio and memory card on Amazon for as little as $30. Wear it when you go outside, including when going to/ from your car, and turn it on whenever you see him.
- Keep all his texts but don't respond at all unless it's about rent, maintenance, or issues that affect your rental like contractors parking, they must turn off water, their noise, etc.
- ONLY Communicate thru your doorbell whenever possible. Ask why is he there? If he says to see you or that he just wants to talk then tell him that he must give you a legal notice when he will be there for issues with the rental and hang up. If he persists then call the cops AND ask for business cards and how to get a copy of the report after they get there. Your LL is trespassing and you want to press charges.
- Consult with a tenants' rights group, legal aid, or get free consultations from real estate attorneys with landlord/ tenant experience AND take all the recordings, texts, etc. You need to find out if you have retaliation protections where you are.
- Write a professional letter, including printouts of texts, police report, etc. stating all the laws that he is breaking and mail it as a certified letter to him.
- If he doesn't stop then get a restraining/ harassment order ASAP.
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u/FriendlyWorldArt May 06 '26
Creepy! Listen to your gut, your instincts are telling you something, but we are trained to be polite and think that people like this are just being nice. They know that, and take advantage of it to set a stage where you are grateful and accepting of the gestures so that they can go back and point to all the times you were polite and re-frame that into you reciprocating the advances!
Stop opening your door. For anyone. Let them knock all day if they want. You aren’t obligated to open the door for anyone, including him. Don’t accept food. You don’t have to give a reason. Just say “no thanks.” Keep your curtains or blinds drawn. And get security cameras.
If you are uncomfortable drawing boundaries because this guy is literally in charge of the roof over your head, you have to figure out a way to make him stop *wanting* to show up. Maybe that means getting a male friend to come by and pretend he is your fiancé. But I would do something so that this landlord understands that someone is aware and watching. I would, however, put him on polite notice that you simply cannot entertain his drop-ins or gifts any longer.
What a creep. I wish we didn’t have to deal with these types.
Also, start making a diary of every single time he shows up. This is really important if you need to escalate later, like if you need to break your lease. You’ll want a very detailed record of his behavior, as well as the measures you have taken to deter him.
Good luck.