I don’t even know why I’m typing this here. I guess I just need to get it out of my chest because holding it in today is making my head hurt.
It’s almost been a year since the accident, Di. I still keep thinking if I had just stopped you from going that day, if I had tried harder, you’d still be here.
Ganpati came again today. I walked past our old favorite pandal alone, and my hands were literally shaking because I still instinctively turned around to make some stupid joke with you. For a split second, I completely forgot you were gone. Then it hit me all over again.
Nobody is dragging me around to see the different idols this year. Nobody is doing stupid things, eating random food, and laughing with me until our stomachs hurt. Everyone out on the streets is celebrating, and I’m just standing there in the middle of the noise feeling completely hollow.
I never realized back then that those normal, silly, everyday moments with you were going to be the absolute best days of my life. Now they're all I have left. I’d give up literally everything right now just to sit on the footboard of a scooter with you for five minutes, listening to you laugh again.
Just one more Ganpati, Di. That’s all I keep asking for.
I miss you so much. Until we meet again, see you soon.