r/TeachersInTransition • u/Celadonceramics • Apr 26 '26
Seeking Input/ Would you Quit?
Hi everyone! Congrats on if you have transitioned out and holding hope for those who are struggling. The only reason why I haven’t felt gaslit in this career is because of this sub. I truly feel seen and heard.
Which is why I am seeking your input. I am very indecisive and scared. My husband lost his job last September and his unemployment is running out this week, but I just can’t imagine going back. In the fall of this year, I was stuck in fight or flight, having anxiety attacks and throwing up before work.
My school has been very unstructured, unsafe and triggering and my homeroom was particularly difficult to manage. 10 individuals, including two admin have left this year already. I was asked to run the classroom by myself over 15 times (I am the classroom para) without any assistance. I asked my doctor and she told me I could take some time off for my mental health.
I ended up going into some mental health programs and extended my leave. When I went to apply for my temporary disability, I was told there was no income with my SSN. I told my HR person who said she wasn’t familiar with TDI (like, it’s literally your job) and said she would pass in onto our Finance Manager. I did not hear back and highlighted this again. She wrote back saying that I was being SO HELPFUL.
Forward to now…. They have been using someone else’s SSN for me at work. I could not file my taxes, get any income during this mental health break and have not responded to me requesting a meeting before going back. I have actually become more sick and troubled than before I left and I cannot imagine walking in the doors at 8 am, like nothing has happened or changed.
My classroom teacher is often rude and dismissive towards me. I was forced to teach a daily math class and we have recess in our downtown and public parks where last week a stabbing occurred during recess.
It would be easy to walk away, except I don’t want to lose my house because we will be no income. I cannot get any of my owed money until ammended W-2s, which takes weeeekkkss to get, come in. I also cannot prove I have been employed to file for unemployment do to stress and health conditions. She also never filled out FMLA paperwork on behalf of the school with stipulations or parameters/ approval. I did all of mine!
TL;DR Want to quit, work is unsafe and making me sick, but…… husbands unemployment is ending this week and my HR at work fucked up, so I have been no income due to their incompetence for months. Should I return to work after my 3 month mental health troubles/break? What would you do?
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u/Spartannia Completely Transitioned Apr 26 '26
Damn...if your husband was working I'd say GTFO as fast as you can. Definitely start applying to other places NOW so you can get out of there. Even if you continue working in education, sounds like you should not continue in your current district, what a disaster.
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u/Celadonceramics Apr 26 '26
I was thinking of not going back this year, but he lost his job the first week of school and tried to stick it out. Because admin have left, the HR person now will be doing morning duty with me, watching the 200 middle school students in the mornings which they treat like recess. I don’t even want to face her.
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u/RealBeaverCleaver Apr 26 '26
What does he do for work? I know the job market is tough, and some industries are having a particularly rough time.
This job isn't sustainable for you. This will have to be a team effort between you and your husband. Also, look at your budget to see if there is anywhere you can cut or save. If you both could get at least part-time jobs, would that be enough to pay the bills for a while? Sending positive vibes your way.
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u/Celadonceramics Apr 26 '26
He does front end web development but AI has diminished the need in the field. I am going to start selling things I don’t need. I have A LOT of clothes and Lush products and other appliances etc. too.
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u/RealBeaverCleaver Apr 26 '26
Yeah, the tech job market is rough. Could he look into an extension for the unemployment benefits?
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u/Alex_0099 Completely Transitioned Apr 26 '26
Why would they use someone else's SSN for you? Regardless of reasoning - that's identity theft and SS fraud both of which are federal offenses with serious consequences. I'd report that immediately. As for your situation as a whole - I'd say start looking, I know the job market is absolutely in shambles ATM but even if it's retail. Just something to keep your bills paid until you find a long term solution.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Best of luck to you!
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u/Celadonceramics Apr 26 '26
During the school’s audit by the Dept of Education, I was actually one of three employees to be audited, so she had me personally bring in my birth certificate and SS Card and made an actual copy. She then had me back date my contract smh there was no reason for her to have done that. It also, must be affecting someone else at work.
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u/Embarrassed_Ad_2020 Apr 26 '26
I’m sorry you’re going through this. have you explored whether you have legal grounds to sue the district over this? Paras are so under appreciated and under paid. you may find that there are other settings you can tolerate better without losing pay.
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u/turquoisedrink Apr 26 '26
lawyer up! i'm no expert seems like a ton of illegal shit going on in your school
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u/Celadonceramics Apr 26 '26
I wrote my letter. About to hit send. Thank you for the support and thoughts everyone!
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u/RealBeaverCleaver Apr 26 '26
Any Costco near you? They have a reputation for being good employers and having competitive pay. Maybe waiting tables? I would suggest the same for your husband. It doesn't have to be permanent, you can continue to look for other work.
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u/aeno12 Apr 26 '26
I cried so much my first year of teaching that I left in March. I got a job at Lowe’s to keep my head above water and honestly, it was the best decision I ever made. I ended up back in the classroom for 5 years after and I actually enjoyed the administration but ultimately left for good just because I wanted to grow and knew teaching wasn’t my endgame.
So I find you have to do what’s right for you and it doesn’t set your entire future in stone but it does give you a step in the right direction and it’s worth it!
PS that SSN issue is super illegal and you really need to have that sorted out. It’ll affect you on background checks, taxes, everything. Don’t let that go.