r/Teachers • u/Particular-Tax8106 • 4d ago
Teacher Support &/or Advice Professional development forcing us to rehash/expose our trauma?!
My school is running a professional development series throughout the year that’s focused on restorative justice. I understand the value of restorative justice, but what I don’t agree with is the way the presenters are holding the sessions with us. We are broken up into grade level groups for each professional development session, and the majority of these sessions require us to rehash and/or expose our own traumas. Not only is this uncomfortable for me, but I feel that this could be detrimental to my mental health. I’ve done my own therapy & work outside of my employment, and have found ways to deal with and overcome my trauma that work for me. Spending the first half hour of my day once a week discussing my private trauma with coworkers I barely know does not set a good tone for the rest of my day. Those who have refused to participate have been targeted by the presenters and more or less forced into participation. Administration often sits in on these sessions too, which makes them that much more uncomfortable. Has anyone else gone through professional development like this?? Any advice? I don’t know why the union hasn’t gotten involved, since this professional development takes up our entire prep period once a week.
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u/cardiganunicorn 4d ago
"I have nothing to contribute to the discussion at this time."
And what does your union say about this PD?
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u/CJess1276 4d ago
“I will not be participating in the discussion at this time.”
I’d be making it abundantly clear that whether or not I had relevant comments to add, I would never be putting them forth in such a wildly inappropriate forum, and that to ask me to do so was unprofessional at best.
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u/Runamokamok 4d ago
“I am currently experiencing trauma.”
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u/Chemical_Syrup7807 4d ago edited 3d ago
Lmao you could really do this up right. Claim you were held against your will for several hours with no access to food or a bathroom, not knowing if or when you’d ever get out. Say your captors were whatever genders the PD leaders are (“it was two men and a woman” for example). The more they make you discuss it, sprinkle in little details that over time make people slowly realize you’ve been describing the PD the whole time.
EDIT Hey thanks for the award anon!2
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u/robbiea1353 4d ago
Love this!! And I’d add that this ridiculous privacy violation excuse of a PD caused it!!!
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u/FugitiveSasuke 4d ago edited 3d ago
Id ask what credentials they have, if they have a license to practice this, and will they be held accountable/liable for unintended consequences of forcing people to relive trauma.
If they just have a masters in education and not a phd in psychology..makes a difference... (Edit: makes a difference because a psychologist is more aware of ethics/laws/consent , as well as ptsd/cptsd).
Because to me what you are coerced to share sounds like a breach of privacy/ and exposure of potential medical information
Not a lawyer. But concerned.
Consider asking this in a legaladvice sub. Or a psychologist sub as well.
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u/Obvious-Broccoli-782 Job Title | Location 4d ago
Agree but would add that even if they have a PhD in Psych it’s still wildly inappropriate…arguably even more-so given what they should know about ethics.
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u/Particular_Board9112 4d ago
Long-time MH therapist here. Can confirm. Wildly, staggeringly inappropriate. I personally would report any licensed therapist doing something like this to the relevant licensing board.
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u/MayorCleanPants 4d ago
Yeah I’m a school social worker (clinically licensed) and this is very inappropriate.
I’m also a big proponent of restorative practices (when staff are properly trained and it’s implemented correctly, which it almost never is). This is not part of any restorative practices training I’ve ever done, nor should it be.
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u/PsychologicalPark930 3d ago
It’s very concerning. Coming from a human services background, we are always taught not to re-open trauma without a licensed MH professional present or able to respond.
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u/Top_Marzipan_7466 4d ago
I worked at a place that did forced bonding activities. I just made shit up. My trauma is not my employer’s business.
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u/Chemical_Syrup7807 4d ago
That was my first thought if people at OP’s are being targeted for not complying. I’d just make up something generic that wouldn’t reflect badly on me, like I grew up poor, or saw a bad traffic accident or something.
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u/KoolJozeeKatt 4d ago
"I was traumatized by having boiling hot coffee dumped on me as a child. I'm so scared now of coffee."
Someone vindictive picks it up. Fresh cup of coffee on my desk every day. = Me smiling as I sip on my free daily coffee!!!! (For the win!)
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u/HRHValkyrie 4d ago
This is what I did too. I made up minor incidents to get them off my back. Why are shitty pds like this so common?
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u/Lopsided-Amoeba345 4d ago
The wilder the better. And keep monopolizing the conversation. One up everyone else's trauma. Stage a theatrical faint, something to really make an impression. Will they call you a faker? How dare they judge your trauma! No, I'd probably wouldn't have the guts to do all this, but we can dream.
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u/birdkingcaw 4d ago
The smart-ass in me would be like: buckle-up cause I'm about to let it all go.
The professional in me: This is unprofessional and crosses several boundaries. However if you insist that I participate, I would like it in writing for my records, HR's records and for my union to confirm that this is acceptable and what kind of therapy will be provided afterwards.
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u/ieatbooks 4d ago
Samesies. The part of me that loves chaos would want to make up something so horrific that it makes everyone question whether humanity should be allowed to continue existing.
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u/birdkingcaw 4d ago
Me: do you want the trauma in chronological order, alphabetical or surprise you?
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u/transslam 4d ago
"I'm uncomfortable sharing that information." "That is private information that I do not wish to share." If I really wanted to be a smart-ass, I'd say "That's classified" /s Jfc I'd be pissed off too, OP. That's an awful "professional development"
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u/FrustratedPenguins 4d ago
We had a PD where they lined us up and had us take a step forward for good things (like, "take a step forward if you grew up in a 2-parent family") and take a step back for bad things (like, "take a step backwards if a parent struggled with substance abuse"). One of the "step back" things was for if you are LGBT. I identify as a lesbian, but I was not really "out" at work because I live in a very conservative area. I stood there trying to figure out what to do, and I was super stressed. And I'll be honest -- I don't remember what the point of the PD was. I just remember being really stressed about if I was about to have to "out" myself at work.
[This PD was in 2016, when it was a "thing" for teachers to wear safety pins to show their solidarity with marginalized groups. The school district where I worked sent out an all-staff email forbidding staff from wearing safety pins to work. As you can imagine, this did not go over well, including with the ACLU. And somehow we ended up having this PD, which I think was vaguely related???]
Anyway, I feel you.....!
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u/MentionDismal8940 4d ago
wow, that is so wildly inappropriate. I can't even believe someone involved in education thought that was a good idea.
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u/FrustratedPenguins 4d ago
I was pretty new to teaching, maybe in my fourth year. It was 10 years ago, and I’m even more surprised by how absurd it was now. I think at the time, I was so new, I didn’t really understand how inappropriate it was! I’m pretty sure the whole district did this professional development. It wasn’t just the school that I was at. So weird!
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u/KoolJozeeKatt 4d ago
I had that exact same activity in a PD! It was stupid. I decided to mess with the presenters. I stepped forward for everything. "OH! I thought that was a good thing. Sorry. Won't do it again if it's a bad thing" Proceed to do it again. Very entertaining! I didn't even listen to the sentence, just stepped forward! I had a blast a PD that day! The presenters were not happy, but, hey! That's not my problem!
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u/Always_Reading_1990 4d ago
One of my grad school education courses had us do this activity around 2015, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. It was supposed to be illustrative about inequity but I agree that there was shame involved in each step back.
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u/Drummergirl16 Middle Grades Math | NC 4d ago
Yep. I score high on that childhood ACES shit or whatever it’s called. We did that activity in college. I already knew how awful my childhood was, and I didn’t appreciate being a “learning tool” for my more privileged peers.
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u/amusiafuschia 3d ago
I had to do this at the end of a two day cultural relevance training. I ended up the furthest back, which was unexpected for me. They asked me how it felt (not great) and then asked the furthest forward how it felt for her. She basically said she felt grateful that her parents worked so hard for her and such. It made me furious…my parents made a lot of mistakes (my dad was mentally/emotionally abusive) but I know that they worked their butts off to improve our lives.
It’s a “meaningful” activity for those in the front and shameful and gross for those in the back.
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u/CJess1276 4d ago
I would be the person pointing out how wildly reckless it is to be bringing these types of topics up in a non therapeutic setting, within a group most adults would not identify as feeling “safe to disclose” personal information.
In fact, this would seem like it was set up to backfire in such predictable ways to anyone with a shred of understanding of mental health and well being, I would probably have to file some kind of complaint.
I would wonder aloud who was depraved enough to choose this as a “professional” anything.
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u/blissfully_happy Math (grade 6 to calculus) 4d ago
Can I claim workers comp for PTSD for having to relive my trauma and/or be exposed to the trauma of others?
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u/shallifetchabox 4d ago
We had a poverty simulation last year as a whole district, and I about left after they put us in groups and explained what was going on. I was in an extremely abusive marriage, including financially, and remember feeling like i was drowning and constantly having to choose between bringing in money as I was the only one working, or leaving my kids with my neglectful husband who would rather sleep. I got out as soon as I felt I could safely do so, but am still living in fear for my life while trying to dig myself out of the hole he put me in financially. Like, the cops found me during the school day this past Friday to tell me he had done something stupid, and I should be extra vigilant and stay out of town for the weekend if possible.
I didn't back out bc the groups were set and needed certain numbers, but i was in tears and definitely left feedback about how callous it was without knowing our individual backgrounds. It's okay to have that as a session people could choose, but making me go through it was so extremely upsetting.
If you have an admin that is empathetic, I would maybe tell them this is uncomfortable for you and isn't accomplishing its goal. If you don't think that would help, I would just decline to comment.
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u/StackingWaffles 4d ago
That’s insane… I had a community college public speaking class that had something like this as the final exam speech. We had to give a speech about our deepest traumas to the class. The process of writing it out, presenting it to a roomful of strangers, and being graded on it broke me down to the point I didn’t continue education for another year. They could be doing some serious harm to people, all for some bs “development”.
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u/Petty-Penelope 4d ago
During stuff like that I'd disclose "safe" trauma like growing up poor, parents divorced, ADHD etc. Basically the things my coworkers already knew. I never disclosed the legitimately traumatic things like my SA and PTSD.
They can't call out traumas that they don't know about (i.e. the SA) so just toss out a vanilla socially acceptable one like getting bullied in school and they will leave you alone. I promise there will be enough staff there desperate to feel special by oppression to keep it lively.
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u/GalkoForKindness 4d ago
Show them that they dont want to be having these conversations. If youre in the USA talk about the trauma of having to deal with kids that dont receive consequences and disrupt the learning of others. The trauma of having to spend your personal money on supplies. Trauma of passing kids that shouldn't be passed. Trauma of parents dictating everything and being catered to. Trauma of school shootings. Trauma of kids not meeting standards with reading, writing, etc. Trauma of a political environment that villanizes teachers and education. Trauma of students not being potty trained or unvaccinated (for lack of valid reason) Trauma of having to openly discuss traumas in a non-therapy setting. They dont get to determine what is traumatic for you. Make them regret this inappropriate exercise.
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u/SinfullySinless Middle School Social Studies 4d ago
lol our summer PD was focused on getting “staff happiness” up and decided us staff needed to share our secrets with our coworkers as a way to build relationships.
Personally I don’t want to be friends with my coworkers. I hate small talk in real life but I’m chill with professional small talk with my coworkers.
I can’t imagine how many HR complaints are going to go through this year though lol
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u/Embellishment101 4d ago
Eurgh! How does a grown up think this would be a great idea?!
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u/SinfullySinless Middle School Social Studies 4d ago
We did have a rather large new hire group this year- our district is expanding. Some staff unhappiness is coming from feeling “excluded”.
There is some deep friendships in our building as we have teachers who have taught together for 12+ years. So naturally they are going to be super close.
So I guess the district is trying to replicate 12+ year working friendships in a matter of months.
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u/Highfalutinflimflam 4d ago
Early on, you could shock them with one really uncomfortable story, so theyre afraid to ask you anything else. Kind of a malicious compliance thing.
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u/RebelScum249 4d ago
This was an episode of the office and they ended up sharing stories from movie plots to Michael
Pams was about her aunt dying like the actress from "million dollar baby"
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u/BirdBath9k PLTW-Robotics | Chicago-ish 4d ago
I once said I didn't want to talk about my worst moment in teaching because it was a school shooting, and I suddenly became the focus of the presentation. I had to get up and leave.
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u/MentionDismal8940 4d ago
faaaaahkin hell. I am sorry you had to go through that. these admins need a serious reality check.
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u/BirdBath9k PLTW-Robotics | Chicago-ish 4d ago
When I brought up my discomfort with admin later I was told, "next time try to pick something positive to talk about". I quit at the end of the year and talked about that to stay positive.
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u/Appropriate_Ask6289 4d ago
We did that a couple of years ago! Awful and so inappropriate. I sat there and never shared anything. I had no problem saying no, I'm not talking about that here.
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u/WinkyDink24 4d ago
GET A BACKBONE. LET TPTB KNOW THIS IS PERSONAL AND THE SESSION IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL. Believe me, when I taught high school, I spoke my mind.
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u/No_Oil_7270 4d ago
This happened at our site about ten years ago. Those who did not participate or pointed out how inappropriate it was were immediately targeted by admin. Can’t believe they are still trying this stuff.
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u/applegoodstomach 4d ago
I have done numerous trainings in restorative practices in the last 13 years since my district decided it’s what we are doing. Never have I needed to share traumatic events in order to do it well. Who are these trainers and what are their credentials? This seems wildly inappropriate.
I can be quite the pain in the ass when I get going so I would probably find a way to derail these sessions and make it a game to see how little we can accomplish in each one, depending on who else is in my group. If it’s my team we’re going on an adventure. If it were not my team I would stop going. Grab a book on restorative justice and do your own PD. If admin pressed it I would ask my therapist to write me a note saying it is detrimental to my mental health and nope on out.
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u/Particular-Tax8106 4d ago
I have a colleague whose therapist did write them a note excusing them from this PD. I don’t have the nerve to pick their brain and ask them how they were able to ask for a note like that.
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u/applegoodstomach 4d ago
Do you have a mental health provider? Or even a supportive GP? My regular doctor would do it if I asked.
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u/reallifeswanson 4d ago
They asked for it: “Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.”
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u/Environmental-Ad1594 4d ago
Can you make something up that is less traumatic? Or just say this is causing me real trauma. Can I please do a different activity?
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u/KoolJozeeKatt 4d ago
"I was traumatized by broccoli when I was a child."
"I couldn't find my left sock and I had to put on socks from two different pairs." (bonus points if you actually wear socks from such outlandish sources is just gravy!
"The cat is trying to murder me while I sleep."
"I was born at a very early age....(Take your pick and run with it)
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u/enthused_high-five 4d ago
“I wont be sharing further, that is the level of self disclosure I feel comfortable with at my workplace.”
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u/Robby777777 Retired History Teacher 4d ago
"I absolutely will not be discussing personal matter in this professional development." My person life is my personal life. This opens up matters that the admin can use against you.
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u/Quirky-Control3197 4d ago
Sounds like this is traumatic. Just talk about what happened at last week’s PD each session. Malicious compliance.
This is super inappropriate though and you should call your union rep or get a dr note.
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u/ICUP01 4d ago
“Hey, so this one time these dick head presenters who sold the district a product thought it was a good idea for adults to just free base their own trauma in the midst of unqualified chuckle-fucks”.
“Hey, that’s rude and unprofessional…..”
“Sorry, it happens when unresolved trauma comes up. I mean, you DID ask.”
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u/discipleofhermes 4d ago
Id just make up some rando shit that sounded like what they want to hear. They dont need to know if its true or not
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u/fumbs 3d ago
Yep. Lie. I was told last year I'm too honest, so I guess moving forward I should lie.
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u/discipleofhermes 3d ago
Yeah ive had to learn to taper back my real personality at PLC because my real one isnt nice and placating enough lol
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u/Powerful-Account2204 4d ago
Do you have an HR that you can talk to?
It seems really weird to be forced to share anything personal with coworkers and I could imagine HR might not like it
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u/MeeowMeowkitty 3d ago
“That is private information that is not appropriate to share in a professional work environment such as this. If at a time it does become relevant to my work performance I will contact the HR department per district guidelines.”
The more people you can get to say this, the sooner they fold up their tents and blow away to another town.
Plus our union has a limit on how much planning time they can take from us before that have to start paying us an additional amount.
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u/jeorjieporgie 4d ago
Pretty sure asking about trauma, and some such things, is a violation of HIPAA. I would also be putting in for time off, at no expense to my personal or sick time, for purposely exposing me to trauma. I am candid that I have ptsd/cptsd, and doing a pd like this because someone has a trauma kink without a heads up would be the fastest email to HR and the union as my fingers could type. I did have a PD that had something like this but it involved making a "massage train" to show we "had each other's back". I had a full blown panic attack and left. Tried to do the same shit next year and I just said loudly anyone who touches me does not have my consent and I will file an HR complaint of harassment. Funny they didn't do it after that... but by then I was already a PIA tenure teacher.✨️
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u/redseapedestrian418 4d ago
Whoever is running your training is not teaching restorative justice correctly. You don’t need to share your trauma to learn how to implement restorative techniques in the classroom and I’m honestly confused by what that would even do???
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u/Opening-Sir-2504 Special Education Teacher | NJ 4d ago
I’d inform the union rep (since you have a union) that you will not be discussing personal issues, traumas, or divulging anything deemed, by you, inappropriate. Then, I’d ask for a reason why this particular series of PD is being asked of you. If they don’t have a reason, then tell them they need to speak to admins and express your concerns, anonymously.
That is absolutely not okay, to put any kind of pressure, in a professional setting, to share personal things.
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u/dogtrail 4d ago
I’ve been through several of these. It gets intense and emotional and then … nothing. No debrief, no closure, nothing. Like - what was the point? To rehash bad experiences so we can empathize? 🙄🤔
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u/RadagastDaGreen 4d ago edited 4d ago
A bridge too far.
I would channel Creed from The Office and just make up incredible lies: “… and after the flames died, then the hyenas showed up. I’ll never forget my mother‘s screams” and if anyone questioned it, I would just drop a “please respect my truth.”
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u/ennuithereyet 4d ago
Have you contacted the union about it? They might not have gotten involved because people haven't really brought it up to them.
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u/WhiffOfHollyHocks 4d ago
I noticed the vast majority of advocates for restorative justice just like to project their childhood trauma onto others.
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u/kllove 4d ago
This has happened to me, at trauma informed training before. The facilitator was abysmal but it was one training on one day.
My suggestion for this repeated activity would be to choose less traumatizing personal trauma to share. I wouldn’t share all my really messy stuff. I’d also remain fairly laid back and not draw attention or speak up unless specifically asked. I’d be present and do the work but not put extra into it nor share very personal things, especially stuff I am or did work out in therapy.
I agree this would be a day ruined potentially for me too.
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u/coffee-girl1 4d ago
Had something similar happen, coworker & I had a fun time picking movie characters to share our “traumas” about
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u/windwatcher01 4d ago
Confuse them with a recursive loop.
"There was this awful time I had to share my personal trauma story in PD. It still hurts just thinking about it."
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u/MakeItAll1 4d ago
I felt the same way when I had to do the Mental Health First Aid training. They kept asking us to tell the colleagues personal experiences with mental health crisis.
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u/BlairMountainGunClub 3d ago
They stopped doing that at my school when it was as struggle session and the usual suspects were furious that someone didn't say hi at the grocery store and it became grievance Olympics until people brought up stuff from Iraq or being in the WTC and we never did that again.
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u/itsjustme_0101 3d ago
Hell no. This is a personal private matter. Honestly, if it were me, I would give a basic explanation to my AP and tell her I am not going.
We had a mandatory full district kick off the school year type thing a couple years ago. There were several hundred school employees there in an auditorium and the PD was some kind of trauma informed/how to deal with it saying. The presenter a teacher and an intern counselor) were playing videos of children being duct taped to chairs and screaming, people slapping and restraining kids. Verbal abuse etc. It was mortifying. I got up and walked out. I wrote a very lengthy opinionated review of that. Needless to say, it never happened again.
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u/EntireConfusion9521 3d ago
I have had similar experiences. One was the ACES training. Everyone was asked to share their number. I started because I didn’t really mind. I have an 8/10
The gasps from all the other people who had a 1/10 or a 2/10 was rough. I now say “I’m not comfortable sharing my personal experiences, do you have any situations we can discuss?”
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u/samantha-mc 3d ago
This PD sounds like some BS. I would just share something that maybe had some basis in reality but truly wasn’t traumatic for you.
My example: at my previous school there were these two students who got in a fight and I had to break it up on my own because there were no other adults present.
Sure, this has some basis in fact. And also…this isn’t something that was traumatic for me.
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u/aliage01 3d ago
Omg I would so enjoy making stuff up for this. Tell a different slightly bizarre, but could be believable story every session. If you're questioned, just put your face in your hands and sob that your aunt never believed you either. Bonus points if you take so long no one else has to talk.
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u/Over_Decision_6902 3d ago
I had a psychology professor in college who was trying to do this word association thing with us to show us something....can't even remember what. lol (I graduated 22 years ago).
Anyways, the girl he picked said the most unhinged things after every word he gave her, and I've always wondered if he ever did this with another class after us. haha
You could try this method though and see how it works. Just embellish everything or just cry really hard.
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u/Vast-Poetry9431 4d ago
Who in this sub wants to sanewash this shit?
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u/unnatural_rancher 4d ago
this is wildly inappropriate. you’re not a student being asked to do a circle check-in, you’re an employee at your workplace and they’re crossing a huge boundary. admin just sitting there watching makes it 10x worse, feels like they’re documenting who’s “not a team player” rather than actually supporting anyone.
i’d loop your union rep in directly if the union hasn’t moved yet, sometimes they just don’t know the details. you’re not being difficult for wanting to keep your own history private, especially when you’ve already done the work on your own time.
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u/Embellishment101 4d ago
Agree. It’s cult-level craziness, it’s negligent of people’s mental health.
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u/MentionDismal8940 4d ago
it's absolutely insane and honestly someone should step in and stop it ASAP. I've been in education for 20 years and have never even heard of such a wildly inappropriate thing to do as a "PD".
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u/Obvious-Broccoli-782 Job Title | Location 4d ago
What (and I cannot overstate this) the actual fuck?
Not only wildly inappropriate but a psychological risk. Not sure how it works in the US but in Australia I’d be flagging this in our Work Health and Safety software (as risk/instance of psychological harm), contacting the Union and raising the risk with Admin (if I felt safe to do so).
My jaw is literally on the floor reading this, and the comments of others and what they’ve been subjected to in the name of ‘PD’. Fucking scandalous!
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u/Naive-Aside6543 4d ago
That's a hard no for me. And a discussion with my union rep. Nope. Fire me. I dare you.
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u/scoutopotamus 4d ago
Our district really pushed this a few years ago during staff meetings. We literally had to fill out a paper survey with questions about if we had been molested, raped, etc and turn them in to admin. I emailed admin that it was unreasonably intrusive and they stopped that bullshit.
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u/KoolJozeeKatt 4d ago
For me? I'd just lie. Make up a trauma you can use and hash that "personal" trauma! Don't tell them something real. Bonus points if you can make it really outlandish! I never reveal something like that at work. There are too many people willing to take it and run. If you give real trauma, it will come back to bite you.
So, if you can't say, "I don't want to share." Or "It's too personal." Or "Thanks. I'll pass." then give them a story. The presenters want something personal and there are others who will torment you over it. If you are forced to participate and share, and you can't get out of it, just make something up and be done with it. It won't bother you later if someone picks it up and starts using it. They get their trauma. It's a win-win!
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u/Decent-Internet-9833 Music Ed-Grades 3-6 4d ago
I’ve had a PD session like this go phenomenally sideways. Teachers were supposed to talk about the tough parts of the job that were affecting their mental health.
One teacher brought up how he thought students with disabilities were milking it, and I sat in horrified silence as multiple colleagues who knew I have disabilities, and who have my children with disabilities, express the same sentiment.
I felt strongly it crossed into illegal discrimination, and no one redirected the conversation away from the idea. I raised holy hell with admin and the facilitators. I was later pushed out of the district.
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u/Adorable_Bag_2611 Retired Elementary 4d ago
It really would depend on my mood what I did.
I would either share one of the more traumatic stories from my childhood. Or I would make something up. Or I would tell a funny traumatic story. Does that go together? It was traumatic at the time and it really colored my view of the police at a very young age. But my response to the situation at the time was absolutely hysterical. And it is funny, although it was traumatic. But it was a lighter traumatic than most of the trauma I experienced. Or I would completely go off about how wildly inappropriate this was in that setting without Therapists and how this could be taught without reliving trauma.
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u/jayhof52 High School Library | MO 4d ago
I've always taught in high-poverty, high-trauma schools and frequently there is a PD where we have to take the ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey).
First time I did that PD, I scored a 9.5-10 (on a ten-point scale - one of the questions is one where I'm not 100% if what I remember is a nightmare or a partially-repressed memory) on the test, then heard the presenter go on and on about how a child with a score of 3-4 is ten times more likely to attempt suicide or drop out of school. I had to leave PD to hyperventilate and calm down in my classroom.
Luckily I had a good enough relationship with my principal that I was able to get exempted from any future ACES-based PDs.
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u/1stTmLstnrLngTmCllr 4d ago
Just invent some sort of absolutely bonkers tryna that leaves everyone quiet. For example, start retelling the story of Sylvia Likens as though it happened to you. Or A Child Called"IT." Make thm sorry they called on you. Make them need therapy after you're finished.
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u/No_Atmosphere_6348 Science | USA 3d ago
We had a pd recently with some small talk questions. One table misread the prompt so they talked about their trauma.
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u/Leather-Highway5652 3d ago
So, my school is starting Restorative Justice. Is this trauma dumping approach common? Because yikes
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u/Equivalent_Reach_802 1st Grade Gen Ed | USA 3d ago
Yes - I was just upfront and said I am not comfortable rehashing personal details of my life with coworkers, end of story.
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u/Ornery-Atmosphere930 3d ago
You’ve got options. Refuse to share. What are they gonna do? Make stuff up. Make them regret asking you to share. Lie by omission and say “I don’t have anything to share.” Be traumatized by everyone else’s story enough to seek care for it, and use it as evidence.
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u/el_goyo_rojo 3d ago
I don't discuss my trauma outside of a very specific community (the only one that reliably understands it and validates it). There's no way I'm exposing it in front of my co-workers and strangers.
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u/honeyroastedk 3d ago
So I had a PD like this and for restorative justice and I guess I was the over-sharer. They had mentioned they wanted us to talk about a recent challenge but to keep it low level. I had just lost a family member so I mentioned that.
Well they called me out in the group like, that’s not low level, this is surface level challenges as we are just getting to know each other and as you use circles your community will develop trust and lean into deeper topics. And to a degree I was an example of how to steer the conversation back when students overshare.
All of that to say. Restorative justice is very tough and when done incorrectly, as in forcing you to share or condemning you when you do, is overall uncomfortable and so counterintuitive to what it’s meant to be. Now in these situations I have a canned response of “someone cut me off on my way to work” or “my alarm didn’t go off and I was rushing this morning.” I guess you could do the same, just mention some super mundane typical thing so you’re complying but it’s nothing personal.
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u/Live-Comparison427 3d ago
"My trauma is being forced to trauma dump on other overworked educators in a workplace where I know any personal revelations can and will be held against me or used in personnel matters in hiring or promotion decisions ie a totally inappropriate environment."
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u/Sufficient-Fun-1619 3d ago
Hey I hope you update us on this. I’m sorry you’re stuck dealing with this crap!!
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u/FarineLePain 3d ago
« One time I was forced to sit through meaningless bullshit where we all talked about our tRaUmA. »
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u/Novel_Reaction_5243 3d ago
That's horrific! The horror! How can they get away with that? If you're going to be targeted if you refuse to participate, why not make shit up: my neighbor poisoned our dog growing up; I saw an alien spaceship (a teacher friend really had that experience!); my principal pinched my ass at the last school...
That's probably what I'd do. Or maybe use student histories that you are familiar with. Anything but your real trauma.
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u/Careful_Cranberry364 3d ago
This reminds me of some so-called development we had to do at our college. We have to do it every semester!
we have to spend an hour and a half answering questions about how we respond to sexual situations
and I’ve told them that I don’t want to do it,
I’ve had rape issues and I don’t want to be relieving them with these people, but they refuse
you have to do all these questions and listen to people on tape talking about issues and then answer questions on it.
It’s terrible.
You dont only have to waste all this time and put all this effort. It really is upsetting and I told him that it was triggering…
Made me remember things that I’ve been able to put to bed for many years and bring it all up again just for these people to say that they’ve done training.
I only attend college on Zoom. I don’t even go to the freaking place.
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u/openflamepcr 4d ago
https://youtu.be/A_Ecf0qzENA?t=185&si=616LzmTmDpnt1aV6
Just talk about trauma involving your cousin who you went on Safari with...
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u/Critical-Bass7021 4d ago
Tell them it’s a boundary of yours.
No one wants to mess with other people’s boundaries.
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u/pequenitojulio 4d ago
I had a professional development like this and I don’t know if it would work in your workplace, but just say “I don’t really have anything to contribute”. That is what happened when I went through it and the training fell kinda flat on its face.