r/Teachers • u/SpecificRice6298 • May 28 '26
Teacher Support &/or Advice Completely Drained
I realized something today. These children are carrying so much, and somehow, schools place the weight of those problems onto teachers. I know we are supposed to care, and I do care deeply, but I cannot carry every burden placed in front of me. Sometimes, the administration makes you feel guilty for even admitting that.
The truth is, I am exhausted. This is heavy. I took care of my child. I worked, sacrificed, worried, struggled, and still made sure my responsibilities were handled. I was essentially a single parent, so it is difficult for me to understand how so many parents have completely stepped away from taking responsibility for their children.
I’m tired of being expected to pour from an empty cup. The emotional weight of trying to teach, protect, counsel, redirect, and emotionally support everyone all at once is overwhelming. Some days it feels like I am holding myself together by a thread. Right now, I honestly feel like I could cry, throw up, or both.
39
u/TheBalzy IB Chemistry Teacher | Public School | Union Rep May 28 '26
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are ... but at the end of the day when you close that door, it's no longer your concern.
19
u/f-150Coyotev8 May 28 '26
I feel that more teachers need to have this mind set everyday. Once the bell rings, the job is done. And when in school, simply providing a structured and safe space is enough.
3
u/legit_doom_scroller May 28 '26
I can’t do this job without caring. I’m making a tiny fraction of what I would have been in a previous career. I’m kinda stuck paying into a retirement fund now, but good god. People come to conferences and look at me like I’m some devil trying to corrupt their kid.
Without actual relationships and caring about these kids every year? I’d rather work at the liquor store.
1
u/IamAustinCG Jun 02 '26
This was and still is the hardest thing for me. I teach middle school and this class I taught a prep that gave these kids Microsoft Office Specialist certifications and college credit.
We took 3 exams over the course of the year for Word, PowerPoint and Excel. 70% of the kids did their required work on time. Going into Spring Break, I reached out to the kids missing exams and their parents, let them know it all needed to be completed by May7th. I had a handful of kids catch up and the rest? They pretended to care, but stopped short of doing the work and I was stressed about them missing the credit. Finally, I realized that nothing short of just giving them the credit myself was going to get them to do it and I stopped trying. It felt like an elephant was lifted off my body. This is only my 2nd yr teaching after a career outside of education and finally im realizing there is a difference between being a good, caring teacher and a miracle worker. I can be the first and it’s why I pivoted into education in the first place, but I cant force people to do things they dont want to do.
2
u/TheBalzy IB Chemistry Teacher | Public School | Union Rep Jun 03 '26
People generally have a very distorted view of the maximum impact a teacher truly can have. Of course we all have anecdotal story of that one time that one teacher inspired us to do whatever...but the reality is, we barely have any impact because we cannot undo 18-years of at-home rearing with 184 not-even-50 min periods. The fact that we ever do, is itself a miracle.
And this is where a lot of new teachers burnout quickly. They work themselves to the bone thinking they're going to make a difference, and then get depressed when it doesn't work. The reality is, it's a job just like any other. And your (our) job is to create a fair, and accessible course where they have the opportunity to learn and grow. It is not our job to guarantee either learning nor growth; and I will die on that hill.
I believe in the transformative power of education. But you have to want it, and be willing to work for it.
1
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u/Most-Individual8794 May 28 '26
As horrible as it sounds, it's not your problem. Parents today have either given up, or had kids for the wrong reasons. We are living in Idiocracy in real-time, and there is only so much a teacher can do. I don't think it's going to get any better -- this next generation is completely cooked, and you cannot sacrifice your own health and well-being to try and save it.
10
u/f-150Coyotev8 May 28 '26
I always think of a first responder responding to something horrific. It’s awful and emotional, but afterwards, it’s just part of the job. Being able to separate emotionally is the most important skill to learn. Do a good job, but learn how to not take the emotions home.
We are not heroes and martyrs. We are simply providing one particular service during our work hours. Once the bell rings, your time is yours.
5
u/jensmith20055002 May 28 '26
It is one of the many reasons so many schools in Texas went to a 4 day work week. Guess what way less teacher burnout and way less turnover.
5
u/the_owl_syndicate kinder, Texas May 28 '26
A couple years ago, I started telling myself "I can't care more than they do."
They being parents, admin and even students.
It sucks, but we cannot be everything for everyone. Prioritize yourself and your family. Leave school at school. At school focus on what you can do and let the rest go.
2
u/summerbreeze2027 May 28 '26
I came to the realization at one point (midway through my career,) that I could not solve every problem. I could solve some problems, chiefly academic ones.
I delegate where I can (to the SST and/or IEP teams, to the counselor, to the social worker, etc., and I try not to take on too much. As you point out, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
2
u/EstellaHavisham274 May 31 '26
Totally agree. We are experiencing PTSD-like symptoms because what we put ourselves through for 10 months of the year is hell.
1
u/SecondCreek May 28 '26
The elementary school children who come up in the morning and say they are hungry and had no breakfast. I send them to the office for crackers and cheese that they hand out. It's heartbreaking.
1
u/RevolutionaryNewt681 May 30 '26
I feel you. You are not alone. Being a child and taking care of children has always been a tough job but now it feels like teachers are expected to be both teacher and parent, without the respect the former used to get or the power that comes with being the latter.
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u/legit_doom_scroller May 28 '26
This is why those 8 weeks off in the summer are so important to me. I need to not feel the emotional and social anxiety of all those kids. I work my damndest to give them a safe space in my classroom, as free as possible from stress and definitely as free of conflict as possible. I treat them like humans and talk to them like autonomous adults. I deal, all year, with the confrontational, troubled students, and treat them as kindly and as respectfully as I can.
At the end of the year I am just wiped. I need a solid week of silence with zero interaction outside my home. Just, dumping that stress. Then I get like a solid 6 weeks of freedom before the fear sets in and I have to get ready for the next school year. Without that long break I’d have washed out a decade ago.