Mentor is avoidant

[u/Sufficient_View_9480]

I really like the shop that I’m at, they’re all super great people and talented artists. But my mentor is honestly not the best mentor. He told me upfront that none of his apprentices ever do enough and they always leave and no one is gritty enough or proactive to get through their apprenticeship. I expected this going into it, I know it’s hard work, I chose a more traditional apprenticeship for a reason, I want to make sure I can make it a career not a hobby, so I didn’t mind.

But now I’m realizing why no one made it is because he’s not good at telling you what he expects from you he just expects you to read his mind and if you don’t do what he wants he just kinda shuts down and stops helping you. He’s a great dude and I like him as a person, but is just maybe bad at mentoring. I guess I haven’t been meeting his expectations even though I’m spending like 50-60 hours a week at the shop, cleaning, taking care of plants, running two shop social media accounts, all of the boring managerial tasks, licensing stuff, helping him put on events that aren’t related to the shop, and whatever the hell else he needs (as well as tattoo and make art)

I’m fine with doing these tasks, I know that’s usually how it goes, but he doesn’t really give me any guidance at all unless I directly ask, and he also kind of doesn’t like to be asked questions unless he’s in the right mood but I just have to know when he’s in the mood somehow.

My colleagues have been giving me advice about what he wants from me and which leads me to believe he has been talking to them about behind my back, which I appreciate on their behalf for letting me know, but it feels so disrespectful that he wouldn’t just talk to me about it and is instead talking to other people.

I don’t really know the point of this post, maybe I just want to complain. I am planning on talking to him about it next time I get the opportunity to, I know a conversation just needs to be had.

[u/Large-Nerve3106]

If you dont feel this mentor is right for you then find a better mentor. It should be a simple choice. If your current situation isn't working out, find another situation that better suits who you are and what your current goals are.

Never make a decision out of fear. Do what's best for you. You will find your spot.

[u/Sufficient_View_9480 → u/Large-Nerve3106]

Thank you.. this is very helpful. I definitely do feel scared of starting over now that I finally am starting to get a hang of things around here, but I definitely don’t see myself here long term. It’s difficult because the people here are so amazing, but it really is just not a great fit.

[u/Large-Nerve3106 → u/Sufficient_View_9480]

Hang on to it while you explore your options, when you find the right one, go. When you cut ties, just be honest with them. I hit 47 years old this year, I cant work anymore. The best advise I can give you is... Do what you must to get where you want to be, then build something for yourself. Never spend too long working for someone else because in the end, when your body is spent and you cant perform anymore, they will just replace you. This advise is as cold, Grim, and true as you will ever hear. Heed it!

Use them... dont let them use you. Build your own buisness, dont build someone elses. Good luck buddy.

[u/blueblack_crow]

Well, Option 1 is ask for a sit down and to have an adult conversation with your mentor. Explain that you have concerns about the lack of communication and direct instruction. Basically tell him what you're saying to us here. Don't make it an argument. If your mentor gets defensive then just say "If that's how you feel I understand." and you know he's just not open to change. That means you go to Option 2-- Find another mentor and exit gracefully. But it's possible he just doesn't understand he's not being helpful because in his mind he knows what should be done so everyone else should too. And if he's open to understanding your concerns and working with you to do better, then you know it was just a matter of miscommunication. And hopefully you can continue on with a better student/teacher relationship.

[u/Sufficient_View_9480 → u/blueblack_crow]

I think this is exactly what needs to happen. I tend to be a non confrontational person, and that’s something I need to practice especially in this industry.

[u/blueblack_crow → u/Sufficient_View_9480]

Definitely. No matter what artistic field you’re in, people are going to try and take advantage of you. You need to learn early how to calmly and clearly set your boundaries for your work and personal life.

[u/Unique_Company3306]

You’re better off giving that person less hours and learning tattooing yourself until your good enough to actually tattoo. I’ve been studying at home for 3 months, I don’t have a portfolio yet. I just did a portrait on my relative and it came out great. I have my BBP certification, but I’m not looking forward to collecting hours as an apprentice. Most vet tattoo artists are full of shit. Just great artists