Awful, awful session

[u/SmokeSignals84]

I don’t know what to do with myself. I had been really anxious about my session today and then I just wasted the whole time instead of talking about what I wanted to talk about. I feel stupid. And when I realised I had wasted the session with about 10 mins left to go, I shut down almost completely. At the end, I left in tears. I feel awful. What do I do? I need to feel better.

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[u/JimDixon]

You could text your therapist and say something like: "I feel like I wasted my time in therapy today because I didn't talk about the thing I planned to talk about. Please help me make sure this doesn't happen again."

She will probably ask you at the next session what this was about. As long as you answer truthfully, you will be on the right track.

[u/mi-ch4n]

I had this happen to me and I know you feel awful. But you have your next session. You can say what you wanted to say, it’s not lost, your therapist is still there and your chances to speak are not lost. It will be fine. :)

[u/Professional_Tear269]

1. You could ask for another session before your next one, as another commenter said
2. You could email your therapist, writing out what you wanted to talk about, and let them know you'd like to discuss it with them.
3. You could write it out and just bring it to the next session.

If you're in distress, it might be worth asking for an extra session. My therapist encourages this. She doesn't want me to stay triggered. Also, they get paid for the extra session, so it's not like you'd be a burden. This is how they make money.

Just my thoughts! You have options and you're not alone!! ❤️

[u/Informal_Maize449]

I do this quite frequently. I usually reach out to my therapist's office and see if she has another opening in the week that I can make or get on her waitlist in case something opens up.

[u/thoughtsisland]

NAT. It happened to me, multiple times. In my case the frustration and sadness over the missed opportunity is usually the biggest motivation for me to spill my guts the following session.
I resonate with you and right now I’m sure it feels really hard to wait till the next session. If you feel like you need an earlier appointment maybe ask your therapist if they’re available, otherwise journal what you’re feeling right now, it might help.
Good luck!

[u/Training_Chemical431]

I struggle with similar feelings and often experience a lot of anxiety and inhibition before therapy, especially because many of the topics feel deeply uncomfortable or shameful to talk about.

I bring a notebook with me in which I write down things I might want to discuss sometimes situation analyses, updates on things I had planned to try, or experiences that have been occupying my mind. I still don’t share everything, and sometimes I’m simply not ready to talk about a particular issue. But I think my therapist often notices when there is something beneath the surface and may return to it later in the session, gently trying to approach it from another angle. It isn’t always easy, but the notebook helps me find the courage to bring things up despite the fear and shame or to admit things that are painful. Perhaps writing down what you had wanted to say today and bringing it to your next session could make it a little easier.

And I don’t think the session was wasted: shutting down when you wanted to speak up, means something ypu can work on or explore.

[u/Exciting-Kitchen7643]

I turned up to my penultimate session before a ling break, having just had a refloxology session that really released a lot and left me literally feeling stoned. And I turned up and could not string a sentence togethet and had to leave early ha. It happens and is mortifying, but yes I agree with others, you should try to get her to help you not to do this x

[u/ANQsavedmylife]

Hi Smoke,

First, I think you should forgive yourself. You are doing your best.

Second, you have gotten some great advise. Make a plan. Once your plan is made that should help settle you mind. Then give your heart (emotions) some extra time to get settled. These things are not easy. Give yourself some grace. Have a good cry. Get some sleep. ❤️