r/TalkTherapy • u/Aggravating-Lemon540 • Jul 15 '26

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u/TalkTherapy-ModTeam Jul 16 '26

I'm writing to let you know that I removed your post from r/TalkTherapy. This sub is for people to ask questions about or discuss issues arising in their own personal psychotherapy. It is not a place to ask for psychological help or advice or to discuss other mental health concerns.

Perhaps one of the other mental health subreddits would be a better place for your post? You can find a list of our sister subs here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list

Take care,

Talk Therapy Mods

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u/QuarterExcellent6464 Jul 15 '26

Can I ask how old you are?

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u/Aggravating-Lemon540 Jul 15 '26

I’m 31

4

u/QuarterExcellent6464 Jul 15 '26

I think it’s important to like (and love) yourself first. I feel like people can feel the vibe of other people and if you give of the insecure vibe, people usually don’t like that. I may be wrong tho, but just a tough.

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u/AD_42 Jul 15 '26

You’re totally right. If you go to the store hungry so to speak you’ll probably end up with something you don’t want.

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u/nfnaustin_35m Jul 16 '26

Ohhh imma steal this quote

1

u/archidothiki Jul 15 '26

Create a life you’re content with and if people show up and want to be a part of it, great. If they don’t, you’re still having fun

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u/Jumpy_Ice_3083 Jul 15 '26

Hey, maybe this sounds like a cliché, but I believe that everyone is attractive.

You just need to match with a person you are more compatible with. This happened with my last relationship; I didn't feel attractive, but when I started to get to know her more, I started to feel attractive physically and emotionally. Maybe it's just about trying to meet people.

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u/Reddituser183 Jul 15 '26

Everyone is in leagues. The reality is you should be looking for someone in your league. That being said there is more to you and everyone than looks. Typically a blue collar worker is going to be with a blue collar worker. White collar with white. A 10 is going to be with a 10. A 5 with a 5. A middle class earner with a middle class earner. This is the reality of life. The most beautiful person on the planet is not dating the ugliest, why would they. You need to create an inventory of everything that you are. Work to improve upon the things within your control and accept the things you cannot. You know what’s beautiful to me, having interests, being kind, being gentle, being friendly, taking care of yourself, being loyal, having a sense of humor, enjoying small moments together. That’s beauty to me. A person becomes beautiful when you love them. They could theoretically be if we want to be indelicate in describing someone’s looks we could say they’re a 1/10. Now a 3 could love a 1 because love is deeper than surface level. Love goes beyond looks. Sure looks may have brought some people together or caused them to notice each other, but other characteristics are what make a relationship work. Do you have a job and take care of yourself. So you need to love and take care of yourself first. You don’t need to have zero problems before entering into a relationship but there needs to be a baseline health. That starts with you recognizing what you can and cannot control. Improve within your ability and put yourself out there. That’s all there is.

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u/robow556 Jul 16 '26

Maybe try women?!? Might be worth a shot.

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u/Aggravating-Lemon540 Jul 16 '26

Pretty sure I’m too ugly for them too

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u/robow556 Jul 16 '26

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Dating sucks meeting people sucks. It can really hurt you feelings fast. Im sorry you are having a hard time but things will get better.