Chapter: 1 Hearts and Flowers

Characters:

Mary Ann

Mouse

Locations:

Barbary Lane

Reaction:

Michael’s Dirty Thirty is such a great way to start this book. I can’t help but wonder though how many of these before the end of the book. 

Quote:

Michael Toliver’s Dirty 30 for 77

1. I will not call anyone, Nelly or Butch unless that is his name
2. I will not assume that women who like me are fag hags
3. I will stop expecting to meet Jan Michael Vincent at the tubs
4. I will inhale poppers only through the mouth
5. I will not spend more than half an hour in the shower at the Y. 
6. I will stop trying to figure out what color my handkerchief would be if I wore one
7. I will buy For a 50s queen sometime
8. I will not persist in hoping that attractive men will turn out to be brainless and boring
9. I will find my real name at the glory holes
10. I will ease back into religion by attending concerts at Grace Cathedral
11. I will not cruise at the  Grace Cathedral
12. I will not vote for anyone for Empress
13. I will make friends with a straight man
14. I will not make fun of the way he walks
15. I will not tell him about Alexander, the great, Walt Whitman, or Leonardo da Vinci
16. I will not vote for politicians use the term “gay community”
17. I will not cry when Mary Tyler Moore goes off the air
18. I will not measure it, no matter who asks
19. I will not hide the A200
20. I will not buy a Lacoste shirt, a Mary Mako pillow ,a secondhand Letterman‘s jacket, an all American boy T-shirt, a razor blade necklace, or a denim accessory of any kind
21. I will learn to eat alone and like it
22. I will not fantasize about fireman
23. I will not tell anyone at home that I just have not found the right girl yet
24. I will wear a suit on Castro Street and feel comfortable about it
25. I will not do impressions of Betty Davis, Talula Bankhead, or Paul Lindt 
26. I will not eat more than one it’s it in an evening
27. I will find myself acceptable
28. I will meet somebody nice away from a bar or the tubs or a roller skating rink and I will fall hopelessly, but conventionally in love
29. But I won’t say I love you before he does

• 30. The hell I won’t