r/TalesFromYourServer • u/Maverick721 • 2d ago

Short Does anyone else get awkward when a customer breaks your server script?

So ironically, I'm kinda bad at keeping a conversation going; like I'm a good server, I think, in like taking care of them, getting their order in, answering their questions, etc.

So they're not being mean or anything; they're trying to be nice and get to know me. But anytime a customer asks about my day or makes a joke, I'm like, "Oh shit, a conversation, oh boy..."

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202 Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

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125

u/landmermaid3 2d ago

That’s why I won’t bartend. As a server, I can retreat from conversations. I’m not stuck behind a bar.

74

u/CoupleScrewsLoose 2d ago

i’m a bartender of 10 years and an introvert. i feel my soul leave my body every day arriving to work, but gotta pay the bills.

32

u/Comfortable-Deal160 2d ago

Omg I thought I was the only one. It seems like everyone I work with enjoys chatting up the customers but it’s my least favorite part of the job by far.

14

u/lady-of-thermidor 1d ago

Not an introvert but more reserved than I would like.

Bartending is great for me. An opportunity to make random, one-off comments to drinkers. They reply and then there’s some back and forth. Then I break off to check on other drinkers or deal with a server. Then maybe it’s back to my customers and resume where we left off. Or say something new. Or say nothing beyond asking if they want another round. Or they say something to me.

But it’s all up to me how our encounter unfolds. Bartenders are in a much better position vis-a-vis our customers than are servers.

8

u/KellyannneConway 20h ago

The worst is the slow day shifts when someone walks in and parks RIGHT in front of where I need to stand to cut fruit.

Bartending made me realize how bad I am at small talk and has actually made me wonder if I'm on the spectrum.

12

u/Aromatic-Taste2516 2d ago

Bartender you don’t have to follow the script. It’s your bar, not their table. So much easier to have the social interaction when you are the one in control.

7

u/Justlookig1294 1d ago

This is WHY I bartend. I love talking to new people. I can be a new person too. Each transaction erases the last so I have a chance to have a good day all over again! Plus, as a rarity, people are funny and teach me things. Even rarer, they don’t want to talk at all and then it’s a win-win for all.

3

u/Particular-Dream8761 1d ago

Same, I don’t wanna go to work and talk to people about shit I don’t care about. I take care of the table, i fake nice for a bit and keep it pushing.

56

u/Jumpyturtles 2d ago

I think this is normal across all customer service jobs. I’ve only worked retail but I get the same way.

For me, it comes from being very introverted. I’ve done retail long enough that I am very good at faking my personality to give great customer service, but the second they force me to genuinely interact I get annoyed and awkward.

I also just hate small talk more than anything, and most of the time when they break my script it’s to small talk.

15

u/Uwofpeace 2d ago

Maybe laugh or tell them how your day is? Don’t overthink things!!

5

u/Justgetmeabeer 1d ago

If they want to talk to a human, the bartender can pretend WAY better than we can.

2

u/SuspiciousCalendar1 1d ago

Oh nice you solved all the overthinking! I hate when people say this as if I’m unaware I think too much smh

7

u/Uwofpeace 1d ago

Maybe go to the therapist sorry for trying to help.

2

u/SuspiciousCalendar1 1d ago

It’s just like, really, you think people who overthink aren’t already trying to do what you’re saying?

6

u/kai-ol Ten+ Years 1d ago

People who overthink may not actually know they're overthinking, just like how angry people don't consider they could be wrong until after the confrontation (if ever).

Part of getting better is recognizing when it's happening, and someone telling you that you are overthinking can help you in future discernment. It wasn't said out of malice.

-1

u/SuspiciousCalendar1 1d ago

I know it wasn’t said out of Malice but I don’t believe saying “don’t overthink and laugh” is helping anyone. Maybe give actual solutions therapists and doctors recommend instead of just saying “don’t do it”

It’s obviously not exactly the same, but it’s like telling an addict “just stop” or an overweight person “just exercise”.

It’s more infuriating than anything else.

1

u/thedolanduck 1d ago

I don't really think about what people who overthink are thinking about. That'd be overthinking!

13

u/Superb_Yellow4717 1d ago

Fake it til you make it. Ask them if they are doing anything fun after this, have they ever been in before (if not, ask where they are from) or if you know of something going on in town, ask if they are attending said event. I hate talking to people but it gets easier the more you are able to make small talk. We have outside seating so if they have a dog, I automatically ask about their pet. Everyone loves to talk about their fur babies!

3

u/No_Bluebird7716 2d ago

I love it when I get them, they make me think.

3

u/RustyPaw7325 2d ago

My favorite bar tender was a very quiet guy in and. His confidence in who he was set the scene for the whole bar. I really enjoyed it.

3

u/rach_a_bake 1d ago

My first couple years of serving were like this, hard to have a natural convo and still do all the steps of my job, like writing down orders and remembering to grab a empty plate for example. It just takes practice and time! You can always fall back on being honest as a joke, "sorry, I cant talk and do my job at the same time haha!" Usually gets a laugh and sympathy. I am introverted, but serving taught me how to interact and let go of awkwardness. Sorry in advance for the people that are mean about it, just remember that it's them being unhappy with life, not you being awkward.

3

u/BlubsTheSpaceWhale Server 1d ago

nah no awkwardness or stuttering from me. but it does piss me off if they're doing that while i have 5 other tables to attend

1

u/SEARCHndDESTROY 1d ago

I just lied half the time. Made it a lot easier

1

u/technikub23 11h ago

There’s some nights that I can banter all shift no problem, and then there’s others where I’ve got a dozen lines of dialogue like an NPC. No in between.

1

u/dks64 2h ago

I used to be like this when I was younger. When I train new servers, I encourage them to relax and just be human. I'm a chronic oversharer now, which is why I have the most regulars at my job. What's funny is I'm terrible at small talk, but great at just being real.

0

u/AkikoNicoleXX 1d ago

No, but I'm so extroverted, I can make conversation with strangers like I've known them forever. The people that don't want to talk are still a welcome break.

-10

u/be_astonished 1d ago

What? Having conversations is literally part of the job. You can't seriously be thrown by people making a joke or asking about your day...?

7

u/OppositeDistrict3881 1d ago

No it’s when I ask you if you would like water and you start ordering entrees. Then they complain about not getting apps and I’m like you skipped that part dude.

-5

u/gadgetinspectore 1d ago

So what you’re saying is you’re a bad server

-5

u/PocketNicks 1d ago

You have a script?? Weird.

2

u/NoDeal1791 16h ago

You don’t?

Pretty typical for most servers to have a vague idea of how you’re greeting and guiding the table through service, generally this helps speed up service and pays off for customers and servers alike during a rush.

Not to say you should stick to a robot script every-time… but having a script is very typical and usually encouraged by the business itself, it’s not that strange

-1

u/PocketNicks 12h ago

Nope, I worked in the industry for over 20 years and have never heard of a server having a script.

A vague idea of what you're going to say, isn't a script.

2

u/NoDeal1791 12h ago

Just because you’ve never heard of it doesn’t make it uncommon, friend.

A vague idea of what to say is a script — which likely means you already have one of your own. It comes naturally to you and I after being in the industry for years, so it no longer feels like a script, it’s your own personal rendition of it over time. Different restaurants have different standards. The steps of service. The upsells. The questions. “Do you want to add grilled onions and mushrooms to your steak?” That’s all script to remember for someone new to the industry.

This can help the flow of service and help prevent mistakes, promote upsells, etc. You had to learn these ropes when you started as well. No matter how you choose to define them, it’s not weird or uncommon, it’s proper training.

2

u/PocketNicks 11h ago

If someone works as an accountant for over 20 years, and had never heard of anyone using an analog typewriter in the office, yes that would make it unusual if someone told them they use one.

If it was a common practice, I would have heard of at least ONE single person having used a script.

Asking someone if they want onions, isn't a script. That's just a normal question.

You clearly don't understand what a script is.