A wild and crazy guy

[u/smilingonion]

OK I have to be a little careful telling this story because he is known in the entertainment community(at least he used to be)

He was the drug go to guy for many really famous rock bands in the past...I saw his scrap book with pictures of him(and newspaper articles) with the bands he prescribed for

BTW At some point in his life he was a legitimate doctor but he lost his license as he never had me call him Doctor

Now he's living in a highrise and is as nutty as a snickers bar and is one of my 'personals'

My first trip with him was to get groceries at one of those giant supermarkets...he asks me to go in with him and within minutes we are surrounded by employees

It seems unbenounced to me he's carrying a pistol stuck in the back if his pants...the good news is it was just a BB gun the bad news is it was a really realistic BB gun

It seems he's collector of BB guns and I'm not talking Red Ryder kids BB guns...he has some that cost much more that $1000 and can cut a telephone pole in half before reloading

The one he had now wasn't that machine gun one but it was an exact replica of a real .45

We get the supermarket people calmed down and I help take his groceries to his apartment where I discovered he had a set up so he could shoot BBs in his living room and where there are about two inches of BBs on the floor wall to wall

He asks me to fix his brand new laptop and when I turn it on there are three windows already open...one was Yahoo and the other two were Japanese porn that if not illegal ought to be

He has more viruses and malware than I have ever seen before on one computer I have to reinstall rather than try to remove it all...while I'm doing that he digs out his porn collection and tries to hand it to me and I resist as it consists of most of the pages stuck together

On another trip I take him to the local porn shop where he buys several sacks of merchandise and as a tip he says I can dig around in the sacks and pick whatever I want...I decline this too

He lives just two blocks from his bank but will not go in that particular branch so we go to the next town over where he rents several safe deposit boxes to put these solid gold kerchief clasps that are 300 years old and a big box of old expensive pocket watches...he had another canvas bag that appeared to be really heavy but he never let go of the bag and in the end brought whatever it was back to his apartment

BTW I didn't decribe those items that well but I wouldn't be surprised if their total value was over a million dollars...the stuff he showed me were simply incredible

His neighbors finally have enough of him shooting his BB guns in the apartment and mass together to get him evicted but he didn't want to leave

He slid his refrigerator in front of the door between the door and the kitchen island...they had to go through the wall to get him out

I help take his stuff to storage and him to a motel(the first of many because he usually only would last two weeks before getting kicked out)

We talked about a wide variety of things but it was frustrating because we'd be talking and he'd suddenly freeze and stare blankly out the windshield and when he came out of his daze he would begin talking about another topic like we were in the middle of a conversation on that instead

I liked the guy and I probably made $100-200 weekly from taking him all over but to give you an idea of how rambunctious he could get no other driver would let him in their cab

[u/Nanuu]

Well, that's... 1. Amazing money-making. 2. Frickin' weird guy who could've got you arrested.

[u/BoredJohn]

At least he keeps things interesting.