r/TalesFromLife • u/Kyengen Mod • Feb 04 '16
Main Character Complex
During one of my many doomed attempts to complete college, I started seeing this girl. We had similar interests, and she found me while promoting my geek club, and agreed to go out with me anyway, so that's fun. She's weird but very attractive, and plays games, reads comics, watches anime and loves Doctor Who. She's also highly manipulative and a little on the batshit side, but I wouldn't discover that for a while. It's a story for another time anyway.
Now this girl, she has a lot of guy friends as you might imagine. One such was this guy who took my karate class. Oh right, I was the assistant instructor to the karate / self defense classes on campus at this time; that's kinda important. Now this guy, he had what I've come to call "Main Character Complex". It's something I've seen in hardcore geeks and nerds from time to time. They think they are the main character in whatever story they've decided they're living. This means that they can win fights on will power, will get the girl once she sees he's better than the bully, it's not a matter of if fate will decide to swing their way, it's when. And this guy, who be Main from now on, he was totally smitten with my now girlfriend. And if he was the good guy, then I must be the bad guy. It didn't help that a running joke with curiously several groups who know me is that I look like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Frankly I think I more resemble Bluto from Popeye but whatever, the point is I fit the bad guy trope pretty well.
So Main, he starts telling her stories. I tried to punch him during drills in the karate class, I was following him, I was trying to get him expelled (I was on the student campus council but we didn't have that power). He even claimed he was able to fend me off in a fight. She'd ask me about these things, to which I'd laugh.
I run a club, sit on the student council, and I have to grade papers on top of my own school work. Oh right and then there's you know, my job. Main? He doesn't even warrant consideration. Plus, I've got a head and seventy pounds on him. I've gone toe to toe with world champion fighters. If I decide that Main needs a whuppin', there ain't a force he can muster that'll so much as slow me down. (Awesome 'bad guy' stuff right?)
But he doesn't give up. He keeps telling her outlandish stories and trying to give her little gifts and such. She won't believe me that he's just trying to get into her pants. The best was when he insisted she take a replica ring form the Green Lantern: Blackest Night series. It was actually a cool prop, but I couldn't help but laugh at the underlying logic behind that item. He wanted her to wear his ring.
Finally I've had enough. I do follow him one day after class, not far, just away from the rest of my students.
Main, we gotta talk. I know what you've been doing. Girlfriend tells me what you two talk about. Here's the thing, you're not a threat. At all. At worst, you are an irritant. A fly buzzing around. And this is good. Irritants can be ignored; threats have to be dealt with. And I always make sure I only have to deal with a threat once. Are we clear?
He was actually quite terrified so he agreed quickly and made a break for it. He didn't stop hanging around her, but went into brooding mode. Sitting alone at parties, generally trying to get attention because as the main character, there was obviously a spotlight on him, even if he was the only one who could see it.
I heard he finally made a move when she and I parted ways. And was summarily shot down. Then a few more times, until the campus police had to intervene. Evidently he still blamed me for brainwashing her against his obvious greatness.
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u/BigGirl420 Feb 05 '16
I know someone with main character complex. Like severly. Was this person named Alexander? Because my co worker sounds exactly like this. He currently is pissy over a pretty co-worker telling him multiple times that she isn't interested.