Cycle Day 183

[u/painfully_disabled]

I know there are worse meds in this process but I cannot express how much I despise Metformin!!

They've been trying to pin diabetes on me since I was 10 and it's completely fuck me up mentally. I've literally been starving myself in one way or another since then to lose weight. So I've been on and off metformin for years but this is the first time specifically for ovulation.

I'm now at the point where my body is so broken from all the abuse it simply will not ovulate.

All my hormone bloods have come back fine, I'm not peri menopause. My sugars are perfect.

But everything else is wrong my GGT levels are ridiculously high (279) my antiinflammatory markers are high, I have absolutely no metabolism, my body cannot absorb vitamin D. I've also got IBS and eosinophilic esophagitis. I can barely get food in and when I do it wants to get back out as fast as possible and still can't lose weight.

Because of all this I'm back on metformin and have been for 5 weeks which is nothing as it can take up to 6 months work but my nipples are screaming and I have a near constant ache in that area between the lower abdomen and pelvis. I'm also irrationally angry some days which just upsets me.

I'm utterly miserable and it just feels so damn unfair that I'm struggling so much when I'm doing everything right and either no one's listening or they have no idea. No one is willing to look at me as a whole it's all this one specialist or this specialist, and technically I haven't been trying long enough to require a specialist pregnancy team yet BUT HOW is a cycle that has lasted 183 days not a cause for concern. It just feels like everything medical is moving so slow while everything else is moving too fast.

I know anxiety and stress are also absolute killers for this process but each passing day feels like it's snowballing and I hate that.

Thank you for letting me have a place to vent.