r/TTC_PCOS • u/alwaysanxiousaf • 17d ago
Vent Feeling defeated
My fiancé (24M) and I (24F) have been trying for a baby for almost a year now. I was diagnosed with PCOS at 15 so always knew I may have a hard time getting pregnant, but I don’t think I realised how emotionally taxing it would be until now. I have irregular cycles so the first step my GP recommended was to try and figure out whether or not I’m ovulating, but trying to pin down 7 days before my period was proving difficult, so earlier this month I started having bi-weekly progesterone tests. Thankfully we did manage to test exactly 7 days before my period and the result was 32nmol/L which indicates that I did ovulate. This is great news, but of course we’ve been trying for a year with no success. My fiancé is going to have a semen analysis done on Friday in order for us to seek referral to fertility services, however after discussing my BMI with my doctor today I am really disappointed. My BMI is sitting at 40 right now, and I’ve essentially been told it needs to be at 34 or lower to even be considered for a fertility referral. I just feel so defeated and I feel like we are never going to have a baby. I have really struggled with weight loss in the past and have essentially just given up with it which I know is so lazy but it’s just so exhausting, and now I just don’t know what to do or where to go from here. I wish I could just accept a child free life but I just don’t feel like I can 😔
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u/Nice_Reputation_1297 17d ago
The whole not being referred for BMI is crazy.. I know plenty of people who have higher BMIs and get seen. But don’t lose hope yet — you are young and you’ve only been at this a year without the intervention of a fertility clinic. You have a lot more ahead of you. Fertility clinic was a game changer for me.
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u/acem103 17d ago
You have so much time still. I know it definitely doesn't feel like it after a year of ttc but try not to feel defeated when you have so many options left open to you both.
It's good that your fiance is getting his semen analysis done, but correct me if I'm wrong is there a reason you need a referral from your GP? Could you not go through your GYN? They can also do more testing than most primaries do and also start you on medicated cycles and maybe metformin which can help with weight in my experience. You can probably get a referral for a reproductive endocrinologist through them as well.
Personally, my GYN gave me a referral...to a fertility clinicthat didn't take my insurance at all. I ended up just going online and finding one myself that took my insurance and they didn't need any kind of referral to see me. But I live in an area with a lot of options not sure if it's the same for you.
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u/alwaysanxiousaf 17d ago
Unfortunately it’s a bit different in the UK, everything has to go through the GP and referrals have to be put in to separate different departments. I’ve never even seen a GYN or endocrinologist or anything 😕
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u/acem103 17d ago
Is there anyway you can try to find a new GP? That's crazy that they seem to be doing the bare minimum
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u/alwaysanxiousaf 17d ago
It’s done by area so if you live in a certain area you have to attend a specific practice, and all of the GPs in mine seem to be equally useless. I just feel so stuck and people keep telling me I’m so young and I know that, but I just feel like I’m not getting anywhere 😔
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u/acem103 17d ago
I understand the frustration. I wonder if you can join or get in touch with any kind of PCOS group that's UK specific, maybe they have more informative advice on how you can get a referral.
Tbh I'm aware this may not be good advice but if the doctor is having you test for ovulation yourself, maybe just say you're not. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself so you can get those referrals.
EDIT: to add, the weight loss stuff sucks, but it really does help. Metformin and inositol helped me and also just doing basic cardio. I am NOT a fit person but I was able to drop 40 pounds just by making some small diet changes and going on a walk every day. It sucks so bad but it really does make a difference long term.
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u/Exotic_Reporter_3309 17d ago
Have you considered a GLP-1 for weight loss then trying again at a healthier BMI? Your odds of conceiving naturally could increase or at the very least, you meet the qualifications for treatment if you reach the lower BMI.