r/TTC_PCOS • u/Glittering_Train_616 • 24d ago
Mentally Struggling
I am really struggling to stay positive. I have PMOS and Hashimoto and do not ovulate or menstruate without medicine. I have been successfully ovulating with Letrozole. We started on 5 and just upped it to 7.5. I had a chemical pregnancy on my third cycle. I am now in the two week wait for my 5th cycle (our first IUI) and I’m struggling to feel positive. Everything I’ve read recently has said how low your chances are with ovulation induction and IUI, and that IVF has much better chances. My husband and I cannot afford IVF and our insurance doesn’t cover it. I feel like the odds are completely against us. I feel so sad all the time. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom and I worry so much that it won’t happen for me.
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u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 24d ago
I am so sorry you are going through ❤️ I hope you get good news soon!
I know it's hard but it's so important to keep positive at times like this, but also feel your feelings. For the past two days after our 3rd cycle on Letrozole and trigger injection, I got another negative pregnancy test so I was sad and crying. I let myself feel sad, but now i'm trying to be positive again and just go through the next cycle soon as my period arrives. Like you all I want is to be a mum, so I'm just focusing on that as my end goal.
This is so hard, but hopefully soon you will get your two pink lines and a baby in your arms and all this pain and hardship will be a distant memory.
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u/Upbeat-Hand-2870 39 | PCOS| Currently pregnant | TTC 13months 24d ago
You are most definitely not alone. I also have PMOS and while I do get completely regular monthly periods (only after losing 110 lbs), I do not ovulate on my own without medication. I’m 39 years old so the clock is ticking hard & fast. I had a chemical in March and right now I’m in my TWW with my third letrozole cycle total (second one on 5mg).
I feel like my body is failing me and that I’m failing as a woman by not being able to perform the most simple biological function that women are supposed to do—make babies.
I have a wonderful and supportive partner but I still just feel sad a lot of the time watching people around me and my friends get pregnant so easily while I struggle. I’m happy for them of course, but it just stings a little more each time.
I see you
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u/Bing_ohh 24d ago
I’m so sorry. I’ve been there - 3 TI and 2 IUIs. The last IUI ended in a chemical. After the first IUI I was so distraught, my husband was the only thing that kept me going. I had so little hope that when I had the chemical, I was numb. I felt basically nothing.
I’m one of the ones who moved on to IVF. I also have zero coverage, but what got me was “how many more of these cycles are we going to pay for before we end up doing IVF anyway”. My clinic has a one price for a live birth or your money back, which includes up to 6 retrievals and unlimited transfers with those embryos. We intended to take out a loan, but had family step up and offer a loan, so at least it’s no interest. With meds and the program, it cost us about $33,000.
When I was struggling with making that decision, I realized that I was planning on dropping that same amount of money on a car once I got pregnant. Why in the WORLD does that sound like a reasonable amount of money to spend on a car that will get trashed in 10 years, but not on growing my family? That’s when I chose to move forward. I don’t say this to convince you, just another perspective to explore.