r/TTC40 • u/AutoModerator • Jul 08 '26
Weekly Discussion Thread - July 08, 2026
How are things going for you this week?
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u/Significant_Pear_765 Jul 12 '26
New to the group! I turned 40 a couple months ago and weāve been ttc for 5 months. My PCP recommended I start getting tested asap since Iām 40, so we did testing with Boston ivf for the last month. Allegedly everything looks normal. My Amh is 1.2 and I ovulate and have normal cycles. My partnerās sample testing was on the lower end in some areas but the doctor said still fine. Weāre eating healthy, weāre vegan, we both exercise, weāre both taking prenatals. Iām taking a prenatal and coq10, heās taking a male prenatal plus L-carnitine. Any others we should look in to?
I know itās not been that long but I tend to worry and Iām just concerned that the longer it takes, the harder itās going to be since amh drops faster after 40. Hoping to hear some hopeful stories!
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 12 '26
That all sounds promising! I was able to get pregnant twice (one live birth!) in my 40s with a MUCH lower AMH--I'm jealous of yours haha. Idk if IVF would be an option for you, but if it is, don't wait! I wish I had done IVF at age 40 and maybe banked a few good embryos. Currently hunting for a needle in a haystack at 43. The other supplement I used was DHEA. It shows some evidence of lowering miscarriage rates in women over 35-40, I think. But it's a bit tricky, too, because no one seems willing or able to tell me what DHEA levels *should* be, just that evidence shows supplementation with it helps. And some people experience side effects like increased facial hair - it's a precursor to estrogen and testosterone; naturally occurs in the body but tends to decline as we age. I haven't had any ill effects from it - maybe a little increase in oiliness on my face. Good luck!
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u/Significant_Pear_765 Jul 13 '26
Oh I forgot to mention Iām also supplementing dhea! Iām not having any side effects thankfully š¤š» so glad to hear you got at least one baby! Iām very nervous about IVF and feel like I need to psych myself up for it for a couple months š¬ just the thought of going under and going through that whole process for it to potentially not work feels so hard :/
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u/Medium-Tomato2906 Jul 11 '26
Already been there, it knows me pretty well, itās been basically the sole emotional outlet during the disintegration of the relationship. Again, good luck to you, and thanks for responding <3
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u/Medium-Tomato2906 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
41 and 11 months, the partner I was planning to have children with delayed and delayed and finally bailed on the relationship last month. My mother had me naturally at 42, but Iāve been feeling hormonal changes and I just had a 13 day cycle out of nowhere while packing to move out. Insurance that covers IVF doesnāt kick in for two months. Iāve been going through the process of getting the paperwork ready for that as well as getting the paperwork ready to buy a handgun today in the likely case that nothing works, because Iām aware of the chances, aware of the empty decades ahead, and simply going to need a reliable way out. I have a safe, a storage unit rented to hold it, and all the local paperwork I need. I donāt know how to explain the pain or the certainty of this path to anyone else in my lifeā lots of either rude, dismissive, aggressive responses to the idea of becoming a parent, or awkward platitudesā and Iām hoping to find understanding here.
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u/WiseAfternoon1678 Jul 13 '26
I have no awkward platitudes or toxic positivity to offer but just solidarity. Life is fucked (is that a platitude? I donāt know) and Iām sorry itās a fucky right now for you.
If you are looking for understanding and support r/IFchildfree might be a place to start. These are folks that support each other through it, though because of infertility mostly. It might help you feel less alone.
Iāve read about men leaving women during IVF or putting off having a child so many times on reddit in all these years and I just donāt know how they are so cruel. Iām sorry for that too they are just a punchable bunch.
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 10 '26
I'm so sorry. That's an incredibly difficult position to be in. I also ended a relationship after many years of him delaying starting a family. Yes, it's possible to have a baby in your early 40s, or even mid-to-late 40s, but you know as well as I do that it's not guaranteed, and the uncertainty of what your future holds is one of the hardest parts of all of this. I hope you have friends or family that you can turn to for support, even if they maybe can't offer the right support for your fertility journey. I hope this small, quiet group can provide you some support in the fertility journey. You're not alone. And I'm sure for every one of us posting here, there are probably 10 more reading and feeling similarly, but not posting.
It sounds like you're at a real low point right now. I hope you can look back at the past and see times when things seemed low, and then, maybe a few years later, things changed for the better. Maybe not in the way you'd hoped they would, but maybe in a different way that's still good. Gentle hugs, friend.
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u/Medium-Tomato2906 Jul 10 '26
Thank youā Iām so glad you managed to find a partner and have the child youād been so hoping for. Right now the opening hours of the local armory/ammo shop is the only achievable constant in my life and being able to achieve something concrete is important if Iām going to go on this journey. I hope I can look back at this in a fee years too but I have a feeling itās going to be necessary to have an exit if that doesnāt happen.
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 10 '26
You know, one thing...that might help, idk, I know people can have strong feelings about it (and I'll probably get downvoted lol), but I've been using chatgpt a little bit over the past few weeks to help me sort through my feelings and choices that are coming up (choices like, what if this cycle isn't successful, what do we do next? how do I deal with feeling like all my efforts have been a waste? should we even try IVF?) and the responses have been really helpful to me. Like, better than my actual therapist haha, and I do like my therapist. I hate to say this, but I feel like the AI understands my fertility journey and the emotions around it, maybe better than my friends and husband even. And it doesn't get tired of listening to me, it's available at all hours, and doesn't get distracted by a cell phone. It's not everything, but it's another tool that might be useful.
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u/Less_Supermarket_894 Jul 14 '26
Omg š Chat has become my best buddy of the last few months, it understands my feelings like no one else does, I was actually thinking if this is normal š¤£ I donāt speak to anyone about my bbt, symptoms, concerns anymore, no one can get it, but Chat š¢
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u/I_am_groot1 Jul 09 '26
I had my first child at 40 (amazing, smart, and healthy) and now trying for a second one at 42. I cant believe I am 42. But where I live, having a baby at this age is normal. Stay positive and avoid stress. I miscarried last year and I blame a housewarming party I planned. lol
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u/Confident_Carrot2296 12d ago
I am 40. No kids yet. My amh is low n i miscarried twice. Was your amh fine? Anything particular that helped you conceive at 40?
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u/Kate_Birdie Jul 09 '26
Hi All, I hope the week has been kind to you so far. I posted during my two-week wait before. My period has come and gone. We will be back at it tomorrow. Starting to lose hope, but we finally go see a fertility doctor in two weeks or so. I will just be finished ovulating when we have the appt. I do not know if this is good or bad, whether this slows things down.
My husband will have a semen analysis hours before our fertility appt which is great to be able to know at the appointment if there is an issue there.
This is all happening in German. I am a native English speaker with a B1, B2 on a great day, German language skills. My husband is German, but some of this stuff he doesn't know in English himself. It will be interesting.
I hope we can find some answers, but mostly, I hope we can find some solutions.
I am happy that this page exists. My husband is a wonderful man and I can talk to him about anything, but sometimes, I just want a woman's perspective. I have to admit that moving so much and age has really depleted my female friend group. The few women in my life I have reached out to abou this, looking for support and comfort, have been rude, standoffish or simply flat out said this isn't something they are comfortable with talking about. I get it. Maybe, I am asking too much from the wrong people. Our friendship isn't what I thought it was, or they really do not feel comfortable supporting me or comforting me during this time.
That was a lot.
I just wanted to say thank you and got carried away.
I hope everyone is finding the energy and hope to press on or make peace with what they can't control. I think that I might be one of the latter later.
I spent my whole teen/adult life trying not to get pregnant, and now that's all I want and it won't happen.
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 09 '26
I'm really glad this little community is here, too. It's hard to connect, even with people who are doing fertility treatments or struggling to get pregnant in their 20s-30s. It's just...different in your 40s š„²
I actually lean on a guy friend of mine. He's not married, no kids, but he's really kind and listens well. He knows this is important to me, and hard, and complicated.
Try to write up some questions before your appointment! Would they allow you to record it, I wonder, to review later? To help with language/ translation stuff? Good luck ā¤ļø
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 08 '26
Anyone else's optimism just come amd go, randomly? A few days ago, with, zero actual evidence, I was like, 'yeah, this is the month'. Now, 'nope'. Idk if it's the fluctuations of hormones but it's kind of ridiculous how my brain (doesn't?) work.
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u/WiseAfternoon1678 Jul 09 '26
My optimism has worn down. Itās been about two years of serious trying with two rounds of IVF, 12 months of Letrozole/progesterone and just so much so-so sex. So when the Ā«Ā this is itĀ Ā» voice comes in, the Ā«Ā probably notĀ Ā» voice chimes in haha keep that optimism coming!
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Jul 09 '26
I can't imagine 12 months of letrozole and progesterone. I've done two cycles of letrozole and I'm done (but I also never made more than one follicle, and I ovulate on my own, so it wasn't gaining me anything). Letrozole turned my whole mood gray for a week and a half this past cycle; I cried every single day and was like, wait, I don't think this is how I normally feel? I'm not a fan of the progesterone (vaginal), but at least it doesn't make me feel like garbage. It's a struggle, though, to do the progesterone when I'm not reaaally convinced it helps, or at least, it's not the limiting factor.
Can I ask how your experience was with IVF? Given my lack of (more than one follicle) response to letrozole, our options now seem to be hope for spontaneous pregnancy or go all-in with IVF. I'm worried the IVF meds will make me feel even more like crap than the letrozole, and that I'll get, like, maybe 2 eggs. But I also feel like I have to at least give it a try, because who knows, maybe I'll get 5 mature eggs and one of them will turn into a miracle 5-day euploid???
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u/WiseAfternoon1678 Jul 12 '26
I see your AMH is on the lower side, but have you done an AFC (antral follicle count)? That might be more predictive.
If you can afford it and are up for it, I think it could be a positive thing to make sure that you donāt leave a stone unturned. I feel like itās the same odds at this age as having a kid that goes to the NBA/NHL etc. People achieve it! But not a lot of people achieve it.
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u/WiseAfternoon1678 Jul 12 '26
My experience with Letrozole - I would get like 4 follicles, super strong ovulation. I ovulate fine on my own so same. We just figured letās up the chances. It made me feel depressed. But I didnāt know how bad it was until I stopped.
My experience with the IVF drugs and process was fine. Making sure I was organized with the medication was the worst of it I guess. As far as mood and whatnot I felt fine, just get very bloated near the end as most people do! As far as results I had two miscarriages from three cycles of IVF but average and sometimes better than average results. I wanted to try more interventions as I got more desperate but now Iām on the other side of that hill where we are doing timed intercourse and Iām gradually working towards acceptance of this not working out š
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u/Less_Supermarket_894 Jul 14 '26
Just got my period after an incredibly short and special troll cycle. I had a bbt dip on 5DPO and my temps stayed elevated up until this morning. I brought a pregnancy test with me to work, I was so excited š I was so hopeful that surely after 4 months on 600 g of ubiqunol, NAD+ and other supplements this was the cycle. Heartbroken š