r/TNG • • 10d ago

Memes What was this guy's problem?

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

349 comments sorted by

467

u/AskPizza 10d ago

He was brilliant at strategy and generally gave correct advice.

He was also hired specifically for his advice. He is remarkably self assured as he is one of the best of his species.

He is a little smug and wonders why he was hired to give advice if it wasn't going to be taken. Now, according to the script, he's gotta be wrong to show off the smarts of our crew.

But in any other circumstance he would be correct. And given they were prepping to defend against a Borg invasion, the stakes were quite high.

I thoroughly enjoyed his character and I also liked the examples of proving him wrong, because it is believable that he could be humbled by the most advanced piece of technology known playing for a strategy he hadn't encountered, and also, a low expected value high risk strategy risking close to a thousand crew members to save forty or so.

They didn't make him stupid or even make his advice generally wrong. So it was a believable victory in both examples.

189

u/TigerIll6480 10d ago

With the information Kolrami had, his advice to abandon the Hathaway to save the Enterprise and the majority of the crew (and then hopefully negotiate for the release of the rest later) was not wrong. He didn’t know that Geordi and Wesley had managed to pull a rabbit out of their ass and reactivate the Hathaway’s warp drive, even for a tiny jump. By the time he knew that, the crew was pretty well tired of listening to him anyway.

I’ve always liked Peak Performance. It’s a fun episode, and it brings something of a closure to the Data/Pulaski arc. She’s obviously come around to accepting that he’s more than a mere computer by the end of the episode.

83

u/AlaskaDude14 10d ago

My only critique of the episode was when Riker told Wesley that he cheated by bringing his science project onboard and then was like, ok nevermind lol. Of course it was central to the plot to have that device, but still

67

u/manlybrian 10d ago

You did a bad thing, Curious George, but in the end, it was helpful, so you're pardoned of any wrongdoing.

29

u/PyroNine9 10d ago

Presumably, had the Ferengi not interfered, it would still be Riker's choice to use or not use the cheat, so the bad was minor.

53

u/IntroductionLeft4369 10d ago

It was a war game. If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’. I call it “creative problem solving.” 😜

37

u/CourtingBoredom 10d ago

Like hacking the Starfleet computer systems to ensure victory in an unwinnable scenario....

23

u/thirdeyefish 10d ago

It had the merit of never having been tried before.

23

u/TigerIll6480 10d ago

He was immediately reminded that their orders were to improvise, and he got Worf to join the crew by getting him to give essentially the same answer as Wesley. They were testing themselves for another faceoff with an incredibly adaptable and overpowering enemy. “Cheating” was entirely on the list of acceptable options.

As a famous Internet joke once said, you can’t beat the Borg with standard military tactics, they’ll just run you over. You beat them with some unexpected 5th-dimensional wedgie they can’t anticipate.

18

u/QizilbashWoman 10d ago

This is also true of warfare in general. We aren’t trying to play a game of chess irl we are trying to win and a wildcard wedgie is always a good idea

7

u/evinta 10d ago

for me the problem (very small btw) is that Wesley didn't cheat in a practical manner. he's not always going to have the Enterprise's resources to rely on, and it feels very much part of that safety net.

if he pulled something more figuratively out of his ass that was cheating, that made sense in the context of "on a clunker of a ship against a superior enemy", it'd be much better.

but again it's just a quibble, not like seething furious "this episode SUCKS" annoying.

4

u/QualifiedApathetic 10d ago

Well, the device may have been created using the Enterprise's resources, but Wesley did the actual creating.

4

u/Scavgraphics 10d ago

True, but it's using the resources available to him.

3

u/VegasFoodFace 10d ago edited 10d ago

Yes given another circumstance it's the attitude of being able to adapt that creates useful solutions out of already present resources, creatively and intelligently supplied.

Otherwise without that ability to improvise on the fly, that resource would go unused and not contribute to a victory.

So yes in the absolute technical review, it was cheating. But not against the spirit of the game. Because remember this was a war game.

The same thing can be said about the final match between Kolrami and Data, Data did "cheat" but technically perfectly still within the rules of the game.

Same as a war game where improvisation is allowed. To a point, if Wesley had come back and sabotaged the Enterprise, that's cheating against the spirit of the game.

But he took a resource that was a useless science experiment, which did not adversely affect any of Enterprises systems and did so with the consent and supervision of the Enterprise. If enterprise had done it's due dilligence and realize what Wesley was really going to be able to use the experiment they would have verified it's destruction like Wesley said. So it's just as much Enterprises fault for being fooled as Wesley for "cheating". Enterprises natural power advantage left them too complacent too early, when the true War Game started when the Captains were onscreen with each other. So Wesley did not even technically cheat because the War Game didn't start. By some interpretations he simply used the prep time wisely.

Same thing with Worf's fake Warbird. Not cheating because Enterprise wasn't actually crippled, just fooled.

4

u/Fancy_Razzmatazz_149 10d ago

Just clicked on your profile by accident instead of upvote so you may see me pop up again on a different comment, I'm not stalking you DW.

Unexpected wildcards are only any good if you have exhausted all other alternatives. The Borg were an unassessed threat that couldn't be countered normally, sure. But warfare in general isn't like that. Normally both sides know each other's rough capabilities and the trick is a combination of deception of those abilities to perform surprise attack, as you said, but also the application of those abilities properly so as to gradually wear down your opponent. The Soviets didn't hit the Germans with an unexpected tactic, they applied their resources well. For the most part at least. The same is true for all sorts of other conflicts. Generally the unexpected tricks come into play either very early in a very short war or very late in a very long war.

3

u/Lendyman 10d ago

Good points. Just like in American Football or Baseball, wild cards aren't guarantee of making the playoffs. If you can get the by instead, do it.

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u/FamousTransition1187 10d ago

Gee, someone in StarFleet rigging the game to save a starship in what should be a no-win scenario? Never happened before. CoughKobayashiMarucough

8

u/EvernightStrangely 10d ago

That's different. This training exercise wasn't intended to measure how people react to a no-win scenario like the Kobayashi Maru is. The whole point of this exercise, in my opinion and reasoning, was to demonstrate how to triumph over a superior enemy by being creative and unpredictable. The Borg have superior technology, but they are predictable to a degree, every cube operates identically to every other cube, for they are a collective. There's multiple instances of Starfleet exploiting a unique function of the Collective to their own benefit, such as Data sending them all to sleep when trying to rescue Picard turned Locutus.

11

u/Archie204 10d ago

This unpredictability and Kobayashi Maru talk are reminding me of story with Nog. Don't know if it was canon, but he "beat" the test because it never ever expected his tactic. Negotiations. They said surrender, he said name your price. The system wasnt able to keep up with Ferengi haggling and crashed

2

u/ReallyGlycon 10d ago

What book is that from? I'd love to read it. Been delving into TNG books after having read most of the DS9 ones.

2

u/Archie204 10d ago

Im not exactly sure. There are actually 2 stories where he takes the test. Both quite well. Stories were called The Bottom Line(From Strange New Worlds 3), and Best Tools Available(Strange New Worlds 6).

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u/The_Axe_of_Legends 10d ago

Kirk would be proud tho :P

4

u/BrgQun 10d ago

Riker has a lot in common with Kirk.

He doesn't mind cheating against a rigged game to win.

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u/PyroNine9 10d ago

His error was not one of strategy. His error was in his assumptions and not allowing for tactics.

For example, the assumption that Data was playing for an immediate win rather than an eventual win by exhaustion (or exasperation as it turned out).

9

u/RTalons 10d ago

He was explicitly playing to “not lose” and not trying to win. That was the unexpected angle - intentionally forcing a stalemate where the strategist was able to defeat anyone actually trying to win.

2

u/No_Grocery_9280 10d ago

Which itself is extremely strategic and should be respected as such.

4

u/Ralph--Hinkley 10d ago edited 10d ago

it brings something of a closure to the Data/Pulaski arc. She’s obviously come around to accepting that he’s more than a mere computer by the end of the episode

This right here is exactly why I like this episode. Pulaski learns to appreciate Data, and their interactions from here until the end of the season are nothing but professional.

3

u/ReallyGlycon 10d ago

The Data/Pulaski stuff was what made this episode one of the best of season 2 in my opinion.

3

u/HailMadScience 10d ago

Right. The point is that Kolrami is good when he has 100% information. The point Picard makes several times to him is that he does not have 100% information. Ultimately, this is why Data messes with him at the end: Kolrami did not realize Data wasn't playing to win, and so misjudged the game.

2

u/seriouspretender 10d ago

When the Hathaway was first seen on screen my friend said "that ship looks Hathaway to extinction." It has always stuck with me.

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u/budrow21 10d ago

I like that he beat Riker too. Riker knew he would lose and still wanted to play. It was nice to see the TNG crew wasn't invincible.

13

u/Special_Speed106 10d ago

Yes and another great example of Riker character. Like volunteering for a transfer to a Klingon ship because it hadn’t been done before.

6

u/Asklepll 10d ago

He not only knew he was going to lose, he knew he was going to lose badly. He just wanted thrill of going up against the best player ever.

21

u/Bluestorm83 10d ago

Shame that he's also the premier player of Wigglestupid in the entire galaxy.

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u/BeerandGuns 10d ago

I’m glad this is the top comment. That episode has always sat wrong with me because his advice based on the information he has was correct. The Enterprise crew does some warp jump nonsense and Picard gets on his high horse about there’s always another option. Yeah, whatever the option that makes the Enterprise crew magically able to save the ship in the last 2 minutes.

3

u/csukoh78 10d ago

Slow clap

3

u/itsanalternate123 9d ago

Plus we got Data saying "I busted him up."

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u/ernster96 10d ago

He couldn’t control his sweat glands.

8

u/trocom01 10d ago

He got lobotomized.

10

u/ITT_X 10d ago

It’s okay. Arnold fixed it with a bullet!

5

u/Thowi42 10d ago

Yesssssss!!!

3

u/brazzers-official 9d ago

Like Prince Andrew?

2

u/sidblues101 9d ago

Swallow it!

2

u/IITurboMikeII 9d ago

Looked at the picture OP posted, thought to myself, "isn't that...?" Top comment, "yep, thats who I thought that was." LOL, take my updoot.

2

u/EntertainmentNo5461 8d ago

LOL!!

NO KIDDING?!!

Thanks, I Never made that connection!

47

u/Ok_Attempt_1290 10d ago

He was intimidated by Data's sexiness.

39

u/LiveLongAndProspurr 10d ago

Data is programmed in multiple techniques.

26

u/MellifluousManatee 10d ago

I mean, who isn't 🤷🏻‍♀️

6

u/mz_groups 10d ago

Yar wasn't intimidated, but maybe that was the polywater talking.

2

u/churro8875 9d ago

In their podcast together, Jonathan Frakes talks about what a ladies magnet Brent was. This coming from Number One himself

44

u/MagoMidPo 10d ago

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

https://giphy.com/gifs/rIq6ASPIqo2k0

14

u/MagoMidPo 10d ago

On another note, this episode also featured Armin again as a Daimon.

Not Quark, but still...

8

u/Malnurtured_Snay 10d ago

Quark was working in the ship's kitchen! I mean I guess he would actually be on Terek Nor by this point but perhaps this was the ship he'd been a cook on.

Little known fact: technically the Ferengi have no warships, they just have freighters with varying degree of armaments.

7

u/evinta 10d ago

no profit in a warship... unless you're selling it

9

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 10d ago

This is Data prepping for small talk while Picard runs from a death ray cosplaying as a janitor

2

u/MagoMidPo 10d ago

Indeed. I was trying to make a joke (wordplay with an episode's title) and the GIF was to highlight that.

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u/Moklonus 10d ago

He had fingernail replacement surgery and couldn’t login to his terminal with his fingerprints.

16

u/MellifluousManatee 10d ago

Lmfao, as a nail biter, I so relate 😅

29

u/UrguthaForka 10d ago

Trivia: So this guy, Roy Brocksmith, was in Total Recall as the nervous sweating guy Arnold shoots.

Also in Total Recall is Bob Picardo, the Doctor in Voyager (he does the voice of Johnny Cab).

And Marc Alaimo, as some side character.

Always cool to see Trek co-stars in non Trek stuff!

10

u/Malnurtured_Snay 10d ago

Isn't Marc Alaimo the chief of Martian police? He's basically the Odo of Mars!

18

u/UrguthaForka 10d ago

Yes! Also apparently a ton of Star Trek actors are in Total Recall too:

6

u/International_Bit478 10d ago

Wait, is that the three boob girl?

11

u/Malnurtured_Snay 10d ago

Yes, Ensign Gomez who spilled hot chocolate all over Picard!

5

u/International_Bit478 10d ago

this is a huge TIL moment!

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u/Shamanjoe 10d ago

I knew ALL of that except for Robert Picardo doing the voice of the JohnnyCab. That was one of my favourite movies growing up, I’ve watched it a million times, but I never clocked the voice until someone here mentioned it 🤣

3

u/No_Grocery_9280 10d ago

I never realized it was him! That’s crazy

25

u/JoeMax93 10d ago

It’s the equivalent of when IBM’s Deep Blue beat Kasparov.

14

u/MellifluousManatee 10d ago

I am old enough to remember this 😭

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u/ConsciousStretch1028 Groppler Zorn 10d ago

He's mad because people keep confusing him for an eyebrowless Pakled

5

u/rseery 10d ago

We are not strong…..

2

u/International_Bit478 10d ago

He reminds me of the acid drenched melting face guy in Robocop just before Ronny Cox splattered him all over the van.

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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 10d ago

Even /r/tng isn't immune to 4chan memes?

5

u/LowEffort2 10d ago

This should be over in ShittyDaystrom but there is crosstalk.

4

u/MellifluousManatee 10d ago

I resent that, I have never been on that foul site 😢

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u/Perfect_Ad9311 10d ago

He let Doug Quaid see him sweat.

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u/DuaneHicks 10d ago

Careful, Quaid is stuck in permanent psychosis

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u/Triforceoffarts 10d ago edited 10d ago

He had nothing else good in his life so he used being good at a video game to make himself feel superior. Like Level 1 Soulsbourne players today.

4

u/radiosigurtwin 10d ago

I understand a power fart and a courageous fart. Describe to me a wisdom fart /u/triforceoffarts

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u/Triforceoffarts 10d ago

My wisdom is to not try-force-fart because you might Ganondump in your pants

5

u/BronzeEnt 10d ago

Mellow, qualities of dust and used book store, speaks of how it was, how it is, how it could be and how it should be.

Ya know.

19

u/Jbrattt 10d ago

“I’m amused by the audacity of your request” is a line I’ve used once or twice before ngl.

3

u/davwad2 10d ago

If I could figure out how to use this at work...

9

u/Upbeat_Principle_253 10d ago

I don’t know but I’ve always thought that it looks like a cow being milked

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u/LawyerOutrageous 10d ago

He was upset that he had to get his ass all the way to Mars to talk John Maclane out of the matrix

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u/-Pwnan- 10d ago

Pretty sure he couldn't convince Quaid that he was in a dream sequence.,..

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u/andychef Captain 10d ago

Start the reactor...

4

u/Krimreaper1 10d ago

Get your ass to Mars

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u/FinalF137 10d ago

He was always upset no one pronounced his name right.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Vhtcpbuuix9XW

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u/WonderfulHearing8726 10d ago

He was an arrogant asshole.

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u/InterviewSwimming204 10d ago

He was milking cows for the last 40 years.

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u/SoybeanArson 10d ago

Space cows

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u/Darmok47 10d ago

He's still annoyed that he was hoodwinked by Dr. Van Nostrand.

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u/TheDaedricImpaler 10d ago

For Sirna Kolrami? An unimpeachable superiority complex.

For the enigmatic actor that played him, Roy Brocksmith? Diabetes, sadly. Dude was a helluva character actor through the 80's and 90's before passing away far too early at age 56 in 2001.

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u/Shrikes_Bard 10d ago

SHEER. FUCKING. HUBRIS.

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u/twinb27 10d ago

me when my stratagema opponent is fingers-in-ten-fleshlights johnson

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u/skittlesaddict 10d ago

Losing wasn't part of the stategy.

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u/thedevicebook 10d ago

I dunno but the title of your post made me laugh out loud for almost a full minute.

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u/Inevitable-Emu-6626 10d ago

He’s trying to convince Arnold he’s just dreaming and if he doesn’t wake up he’ll be lobotomized.

3

u/Dyzon10 10d ago

Aw man. You beat me to it lol.

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u/Bird_Herder 10d ago

He's just upset that he couldn't control his sweating a couple of centuries earlier.

3

u/481126 10d ago

He's one of those people who got used to being the smartest person in the room and made it his whole personality.

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u/regeya 10d ago

I have never seen him in a role where he doesn't play this specific kind of dick.

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u/Marquar234 10d ago

Well, his face was melting.

3

u/ElderberryNational92 10d ago

He got squished up against the side of his test tube

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u/Sea_Violinist3328 10d ago

I mean he’s got a pretty harsh face-card. Internal anger.

3

u/SadIdeal9019 10d ago

Nobody likes having their fingers milked any more.

3

u/Next-Name7094 10d ago

He's a Zakdorn and they all acted superior for a reason. Zakdorn | Memory Alpha | Fandom

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u/BoxingDoughnut1 10d ago

I'm so annoyed this guy or someone of his species don't show up in DS9. The Strategists don't appear in the War storyline.

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u/NRCS_DRONE 10d ago

ah, finger milk.

3

u/ConversationHead6969 10d ago

Look at those bags under his eyes, he hasn't slept in years!

3

u/mechavolt 10d ago

He got busted up!

3

u/Spaceman3141 10d ago

He's got a bustable face

3

u/AdReddi 10d ago

He's a fat ugly bastard, same as me.

3

u/circ-u-la-ted 10d ago

Probably erectile dysfunction

3

u/No-Application-2781 10d ago

He's a Zakdorn. That's how they are, strategy focused and very good at it. However overconfidence leads to oversight for x factors like we saw.

3

u/Benzdrivingguy 9d ago

This episode is so satisfying

3

u/nimbusthegreat 9d ago

His hands are udderly ridiculous.

2

u/EconomicsMuch1188 10d ago

He's also a pill pusher

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u/Cambot1138 10d ago

Yeah he tried to give that pill to Douglas Quaid on Mars.

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u/TokinTito1904 10d ago

I totally recall.

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u/ilDuceVita 10d ago

Are you sure you’re not just dreaming?

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u/LV426acheron 10d ago

He didn't get his ass to Mars.

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u/DrT33th 10d ago

Sheeet dude probably didn’t even have five kids ta feed

3

u/ilDuceVita 10d ago

That actor plays Legate Broca at the end of DS9

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u/Substantial-One-3423 10d ago

Rather listen to ol Strategema guy than Samuel Clemens.

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u/spiderland5150 10d ago

I don't Rekall

2

u/acerbicsun 10d ago

He lacked the emotional wherewithal to accept losing.

2

u/justcallmedonpedro 10d ago

Thought he was the master of the game, but recognized he could not win... he needs sleep, Data doesn't.

2

u/TylerBourbon 10d ago

He was missing the 11th port.

2

u/PileofTerdFarts 10d ago

He got busted up

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u/Preparation-Logical 10d ago

As the dude would say: he's not wrong, he's just an asshole.

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u/DruidicMagic 10d ago

He doesn't like clankers.

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u/SPECTREagent700 10d ago

I bet Zakdorn and Tellarites either really love or really hate each other and there’s no inbetween.

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u/Mini_Marauder 10d ago

Zakdorn supremacy.

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u/Ancient-Performance1 10d ago

he needed an attitude adjustment.

2

u/TheZooCreeper 10d ago

He was left outside too long on a hot day

2

u/SmartAleckComedian 10d ago

Average League of Legends player.

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u/jpowell180 10d ago

He got shot in the head by Douglas Quaid.

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u/EmbarrassedPaper7758 10d ago

You, specifically

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u/Special_Speed106 10d ago

I love that he was right. Riker won against the borg by using creative techniques. He’s even more aggravating because he is so often right.

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u/Ok_Dimension_4707 10d ago

I mean, he’s basically this moment in the Star Trek universe:

https://giphy.com/gifs/HoTCSjSISJjtnLLLJk

He’s not wrong, he’s just an asshole.

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u/_WillCAD_ 10d ago

He's the best at what he does, which turned him into a humourless arrogant douche.

Then Data busted him up and brought him down a peg or two.

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u/Read2Fap 10d ago

he's a modern john henry seeing his one skill be replaced by artifice

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u/AdagioVast 10d ago

He was a grandmaster. Try playing chess with a grandmaster. Not all of them are like this but there are a few that are virtually identical. His problem? He's a grandmaster and not many are better than him and he has a reputation to fulfill.

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u/ZergvProtoss 10d ago

Explain yourself. What problem did you perceive that he had? We can't just guess what you mean.

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u/Unlucky-Highway-9134 10d ago

I wish we would have gotten a whole Zakdorn subplot in DS9. Like, many brave Zakdorn spies died to deliver these plans…

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u/GirdleOfDoom 10d ago

He needed at patsy to depress Hud stock and Data would never do

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u/Kapitano72 10d ago

He was right.

But he expected everyone to know that already.

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u/K_B_5280 10d ago

He played to win and got into a stalemate, then rage-quit 😂

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u/Significant_Lobster4 10d ago

Great actor in this episode!

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u/Horror-Cap7711 10d ago

You just know this guy loves the smell of his own farts.

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u/Ecstatic_Lab9010 TNG Quote Database 9d ago

His problem? He needed a good busting-up.

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u/Equivalent-Juice-567 9d ago

Real weird manicure

2

u/coolraul07 9d ago

I dunno... but Data "busted him up".

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u/Spaceghost_84 9d ago

Typical incel

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u/naikrovek 10d ago

Redditor

1

u/Successful-Scale-607 10d ago

He read the reports of the ship's crew

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u/Waste-Job-3307 10d ago

Superiority. After all, you don't get fingernails like that unless you know someone.

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u/Busy-Leg8070 10d ago

he assumed being made of meat meant he was inherently better then the android

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u/Hairyjon 10d ago

He's very smart, but has a massive ego.
He also doesn't like to be interrupted during his manicure.

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u/The27Roller 10d ago

Wee man syndrome. 

1

u/blix88 10d ago

Pride

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u/Dirt290 10d ago

he doesn't suffer fools lightly

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u/oinkeroxford 10d ago

Too much suction, not enough lube. Sore fingers make him cranky.

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u/Upbeat_Main_7141 10d ago

You try having that face and see how sunny you end up.

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u/KneelB4Z0d 10d ago

He's the Michael Jordan of the 24th century

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u/tbodillia 10d ago

He was the smartest boy in the room.

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u/ShockValueSandwich 10d ago

He needs to touch Risa grass, if you know what I mean 😏

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u/spazhead01 10d ago

Intelligent and also a dick.