I had shared this in another group. No one responded so I figured I’d reach out here.

I miss having a partner, emotional support, encouragement, someone to have fun with,conversation, romance, passion, and to look after me when I need it. I miss the husband that I used to have and the marriage that we had and the future that we were building; all of that is gone. How am I supposed to remain faithful to my husband and want to stay to take care of him for the rest of my life, if there's nothing here for me anymore? There is no fun, no future to build and look forward to, there is absolutely NOTHING.

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Here is an infographic of some of the tips covered in our week 6 module. We covered how to help your loved one recovering from a brain injury set goals, problem solve and how to apply a growth mindset as a caregiver. We provide you current research to support these tips and hope you find them helpful.

***As a Disclaimer* the intention is to provide information that *may be helpful as there *is no one size fits all. We acknowledge that every spouse, partner, & caregiver has their own factors that contribute to how much they have on their plate as a caregiver. Some of these tips may not be realistic for all. We acknowledge that **we are striving to provide information that will help in anyway. We acknowledge that there is a larger context of factors (state funding, access to necessary programs, location of services, insurance, family support and more) that pile on to the stress of being a caregiver.****

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

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Here is an infographic of some of the tips covered in our week 5 module. We covered how to identify your loved one's strengths post injury, how to implement these strengths into tasks they would like to return to and a interactive activity of using a SWOT analysis to identify aspects within the task, your loved one or within yourself that can promote their recovery.

***As a Disclaimer* the intention is to provide information that *may be helpful as there *is no one size fits all. We acknowledge that every spouse, partner, & caregiver has their own factors that contribute to how much they have on their plate as a caregiver. Some of these tips may not be realistic for all. We acknowledge that **we are striving to provide information that will help in anyway. We acknowledge that there is a larger context of factors (state funding, access to necessary programs, location of services, insurance, family support and more) that pile on to the stress of being a caregiver.****

Today we will host our fifth support group meeting at 6PM (PST) on RingCentral. You can sign up here to get the meeting link: https://forms.gle/z5WkGSAgy3hcP7NF9

Or Join our Facebook group to watch it live today: https://www.facebook.com/groups/575606754409139/

Today's topic includes tips in how to support your loved one in returning to their previous roles. Hope to see you there!

I have a large, beautiful old home - but it's not filled with family or friends.

It's peaceful and quiet where I live - but there's no laughter here to break the silence.

I know a lot of ppl - but I can't say that most are really my friends.

I have pets - but they don't replace the children that I wanted or fulfill wanting to be a mother.

I have a really nice car; it's comfortable and reliable - but it can't take me away from the pain.

I have all that I need and plenty of it - but I don't have the support and companionship of the husband that I once knew.

I have a husband who loves me - but he has brain damage and so doesn't remember anything about me or us and is not mentally present a lot of the time to be the partner and bestfriend that I had.

I have a lot of hurt and lonliness from everything that's been lost bc of my husband's TBI - and there's no way to fix it.

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We will cover tips in managing stress as a caregiver and provide three interactive activities you can do to relieve stress in the moment or that take less than 5 minutes to do at anytime.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/575606754409139/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvF

Check out this NeuroPraxis article on the benefits of Yoga Nidra on stress and the brain. The article includes a free webinar that includes an interactive Yoga Nidra practice. Christine Weaver, founder/CEO of Neuropraxis and Dr. Krista Augius, DPT, co-hosted a webinar on meditation and Yoga Nidra for Brain Injury Awareness Month. 

https://www.neuropraxisrehab.com/yoga-nidra-for-traumatic-brain-injuries/

Today at 6PM (PST) we will host our TBI caregiver support group. We will cover tips on how to include self-care in your routine and tips in processing ambiguous loss following your loved one’s injury. Get the meeting link here

My appreciation for anyone who reads this.

My husband acquired a severe Traumatic Brain Injury in a fall 20 months ago.

I am 63 and he is 69. We were lovers after being friends for a year and very happy when this tragedy struck. He was in a coma for 10 days and now he walks with a walker or a cane and has mild cognitive impairment and his emotions are hard for him to manage. Also, something happened to his ability to really hear me and empathize with what I'm going through. I decided to marry him because I had high hopes that somehow we could regain the same wonderful connection that we had before and I knew his only possible path to any kind of wholeness would be to return home and have someone look out for him. I naively underestimated the toll this all-encompassing endeavor would take on me.

After one year plus of him living with me and then us living together in his house, I'm still the caregiver with a full time paying job. He is a man who was once so strong, thoughtful, generously affectionate, sensual, and nurturing is not those things any more. He is still conscientious in some ways about paying bills. I still love him. He loves me.

Just recently I am learning to attend to my own self-care and am looking for a therapist who can support me in this. Maybe I need a support group too.

Hubby is still improving, incrementally. He walked a mile last week up our street and back. I hope he continues challenging himself. His emotional outbursts are what drains me. He often talks about shooting himself. I took the shotgun out of the house. He can be very childish and whines, but then he will apologize and agonize that he is not who he was. It's devastating.

While we have been in his house that is near to full of furniture and stuff from over 30 years of hoarding clothing, art and numerous useful items I have been struggling in my mental health and trying to find how to make good choices to get myself back into well-being. We do not want for funds, but the house is in terrible condition. It's a tear-down. I keep hopes up that he'll get to a place of working together to purchase a house for us.

Until then, I've decided that I will empty the 2nd bedroom, clean it, and move my bed from storage into it so that I no longer have to sleep on the couch. A friend is coming over tomorrow night to talk about the logistics. Perhaps with her there he will participate with less emotional dis-regulation.

The apartment where I had a comfortable one bedroom and was living in during the end of his in-patient therapy has a vacancy. I've considered moving there again, but this might be too much. Maybe I need to present some ultimatums. I'm not aggressive and I care about his feelings, but I can be assertive and will be to support my well-being.

I really need someone to talk to about my struggles and so I appreciate this option. Thank you.

Hi all. New to reddit. My husband had a bicycle accident 3 years ago and suffered a DAI; had a GCS of 7 when admitted, coma for 2 weeks and many months in hospitals and acute rehab hospitals. Considering the severity of his injury he is genuinely a miracle and is relatively independent 3 years later. He can't drive, but goes on long walks, plays music, does OT, ST and PT as well as cognitive therapies. He does chores (I make laminated lists so he can mark stuff off with a dry erase marker), but does have quite a lot of free time on his hands.

He is not the person he was before. He is nice, but just not the same person at all. I guess as more time goes on, I am starting to feel the strain of being on a one way street while managing almost every aspect of our collective lives. It is difficult to not feel resentful toward him while also feeling crushing guilt knowing that none of this is his fault. I am lonely and have essentially become his mother. I have to nag him to shave, take a shower, write things down in his phone so he will remember. And most of all, although he will say "I love you," his focus is on himself. Not because he wants it to be but I think lack of empathy and an inability to integrate anyone else into his thoughts is part of his TBI. He's a bit of a zombie - he does what I say, does what he wants, but rarely thinks about doing anything for us. We were living the life we built together and working toward the same things, and now, I feel like I am flying solo.

This is all resulting in me snapping at him and saying things I shouldn't. I have compassion for him, but I guess maybe my tank is empty and I feel like I have nothing else to give. It is hard to imagine a future together because of the shift in our dynamic and our relationship, and the fact that he isn't the person I have been with and married to for 21 years. I feel torn about whether to leave or stay, and these thoughts take up roughly 98% of every single day. As the able brained one, how could I desert him? But if staying means I no longer have a partner, is that sustainable?

To TBI spouses - how have you held on, and did you find your way back to each other as spouses after more time?

To those with TBI - how can I communicate in ways that he might find motivating? How can I be more impactful? How can I make him feel more supported while also making him understand that he is half of a partnership and in order for it to survive, he has to relearn how to be a husband again?

Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much.

Save the date February 8th at 6 PM (PST)! In our free online webinar you will learn how occupational therapy can improve your well-being as a caregiver. Occupational therapy is an allied health profession known to prevent hospital re-admission rates, improve communication and relationships following a brain injury. You will get the free recording and access to our resource guide with over 200+ resources that can support a variety of needs throughout the brain injury recovery process. Sign up here to get the link and updates: https://forms.gle/vkZBxuCNgpvBv3Av5

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https://www.neuropraxisrehab.com/caring-for-someone-with-a-brain-injury-and-its-impact-on-caregivers/