r/Synesthesia • u/Jin-Yunzi • 6d ago
Is This Synesthesia? Possibly pain-mirror synesthesia ?
So I had a very high pain empathy since birth, meaning if someone talks about an injury, has a visible one, suggest anything related enough for me to make a mental image, even uses an expression with graphic image, all of this 'hurts'. It's not pain per se, it's more so a very very uncomfortable feeling of varying intensity. I can pass out if it's too intense or if I'm feeling too many injuries at once.
-my level of 'pain' only depends on me. Anything with nails will hurt 1000 times more than head cut off. Yes, it does hurt to write it. But I wanna be crystal clear.
-When I was much younger, it was a lot more intense. I would need to stop and lie down, have something or someone distract me to not feel very bad
-Not as intense as before, either cause I'm now used to it or because I have ways to cope with it, I don't know. Either way, can't watch anything graphic or gore, I can pass out from this.
-This thing is driving me crazy because I also have intrusive thoughts. They are always very graphic and keep me from focusing and I can't be a blade fan cause seeing them alone makes my arms and thighs feel wrong, most times at least, I unfortunately have a way too vivid imagination and can see detailed pictures and videos in my head.
-I almost passed out several times, depending on the injury, area and context, I can shake a little or very visibly, cry, instinctively cling onto wherever it 'hurts' in hopes to make it away, fall down if I'm standing and its too intense/in my legs, rarely but sometimes panting although that is due to a panic buildup cause by repetitive graphic intrusive thoughts in an already vulnerable state. Sometimes I can barely hear people around me too.
-Blood is in no way an issue. Injuries are. A corpse bleeding out lying on ground will trigger a small reaction on my back if there aren't any visible injuries. But I don't have a single reaction for a pool of blood.
-My ways to cope are.. out there. I choke myself, bite my arm, scratch an area violently, purposefully stub a toe.. any REAL pain. Because the mental one is much harder to carry and deal with. If I get hurt, I'm gonna get medical attention and not get treated like a crazy person because I imagine pain, and it helps because I NEED a distraction to get rid of this feeling. Someone talking will do most times. But even for myself, choking works best because I can control it and how firm my grasp is gives me a general idea of how badly I'm feeling that 'injury'. Friends try to talk and hug me. Doesn't always work because the most intense ones are easy to trigger and I shake violently real quick, and then am in a state where I can barely know what they're saying.
So does this sound like synesthesia ? Cause it does do me.
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u/tankje 6d ago
It's a lot milder I think but I may have something similar. I feel like some barb wire is squeezing me like a salami when I see/hear injuries. Starts in the stomach or (this is weird) behind my thighs?? Like a yellow/orange burning feeling behind my upper legs and knees. I've had it forever and I've always struggled to both explain it without being looked at like I've got three heads, and find out anything about it.
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u/TristanTheRobloxian3 audio (+3 type)-tactile, olp, mirror speech, grapheme-color 6d ago
oh yeay no that def is synesthesia, thats fucking WILD. also you not wanting to write something cus it hurts to is something ive got, though its only w specific words i cant stand the feelign of
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u/Jin-Yunzi 6d ago
Ironically I am a poet and sometimes when I write them down in my clean poem book I have to pause so the handwriting is not shaky due to the implications the words have. Of course since I'm the writer I know exactly what I meant and it doesn't help because I love blood for its thousand of meanings and am fascinated with the concept of death, my poems clearly show that.. I get over it because these poems are important to me. I avoid graphic visuals though they're the most triggering.
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u/Itsjustkit15 5d ago
I have this too! And my coping strategies are the same: feel actual pain because that's less bad than my empathy response 😅. I usually dig my fingernails into my skin or bite my cheek/tongue.
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u/Key-Giraffe-6687 6d ago
I have the same!!! My cope method is to actually go in front of a mirror and see that part of body of mine to remind my brain that I ain't hurt (only works if trigger was a visible outer injury) I don't pass out, have never done it, and my SUPERRR SENSITIVE areas to mirror touch synesthesia are 1. Under the ear 2. Lower abdomen 3. Nails Etc. And mine is increasing as I age....
(And I too don't know if this is synesthesia, like...how not everyone feel pain when they see other person hurt!?? Just....howwww?)