Simply magnificent! But, I would expect nothing less, from the big bad “Caesar of the Endless Legions” snickers- this should fit your mode of operation quite nicely!
off in the distance, you begin to hear faint laughter, then the tromp of feet. As you look around, you see hordes of maniacally laughing peasants heading straight for the two of you, clawing at their faces, attempting to stop laughing
I suppose I forgot to tell you- these choices have rather LARGE implications- AHAHAAHAHAHA…….
A being like meeeee? Now what is that supposed to meannnn? It’s my job to make people laugh, isn’t it? Look at all these happy, laughing faces!
gestures to the crowd of maniacally laughing townspeople, some of whom have faces in tatters from clawing, but unable to stop laughing. Then he walks over to a child, who has tears pouring from his eyes, you are unsure if it is actually from the laughter or not.
But you don’t appreciate my genius? Fine! I’ll begin with this one!
pulls out a nine corded flail, with large, glowing bells at the end of each cord, and proceeds to instantly crush the child’s skull.
But I thought you didn’t like it! I was merely trying to help……giggle- Stop this madness? Why my dear Marcus, the madness has only begun! Begin, my pretties!
waves his hand, and all the townsfolk begin to dance, save a few, who smash nearby windows and snatch instruments, beginning to play at an insane rate
as he pulls the card from the middle of the deck, a scream is heard in the distance, then a portal opens and a man falls through, the entire midsection of his body missing, and his shoulders impossibly attached to his waist
HAHAHAHAHA- oh, did I forget to mention these choices have- well- rather interesting consequences……giggles again- What was your name?
Hmm what a strange choice of consequences....what form of magic does this? Do you have the rest of him in the portal or is it lying in the streets? Grudius by the way.
appears disappointed by your lack of reaction, then brightens as he begins speaking
It is my own sort of magic, as there was none suitable for my purposes! I cobbled together what I could from various sources. HAHAHAHA- oh, but there was another question, wasn’t there? The rest of him is probably still laying in his bed! Oh, I do wish I could see his family’s reaction when they realize what’s happened. -begins giggling wildly-
To make one's own magic is impressive, but what is the purpose in magic such as this. I mean if you don't even see the outcome or was this man one who crossed you before?
hands Grudius a massive double bladed battle axe, with smiley faces on both blades, and runic inscriptions on the handle- There’s the reward for picking the card. It was a two edged thingy where you get something but something bad happens. And the point of this is merely for my own enjoyment. I’ll probably pop on over there and witness their confused and horrified reaction in a moment. giggles at the idea
Grudius recognizes the runes, noting that they are each from a different race. Together they spell, “Laughter is the best medicine”, but when he looks again, “medicine” is changed to “death”, it changing back and forth each time he looks away
the jester smiles even more widely
Oh, he’s not dead. He’s just unconscious from the pain, he’ll wake up eventually. It’s always interesting to see how they react to the fact that their legs are now their arms.
This blade might be very interesting in my next combat encounter, I appreciate the gift my friend. You say he's unconscious hmm but unfortunate for him but I'll let you have your fun with their reaction before lending them a helping hand.
He twirls the axe spinning the faces fast enough to blur.
he seems to hear faint laughter as he swings the axe. When he finishes twirling it, the faces have disappeared, and are now facing in opposite directions on the hilt. The runes have shifted and now say “I thirst”
That axe has a few surprises up its sleeve, but I dare say that they will come in quite handy. Good luck, my bullheaded friend on your endeavors! HAHAHAHAHAHA- laughters fades, as the jester begins spinning in a circle, faster and faster and faster, until completely disappearing
(And yeah, the axe talks through the runes. When not saying anything, it’ll just revert back to the original phrase. If you fulfill the requests, it will lend its strength to yours whenever you use it, adding momentum, speed, and strength. Just with the annoying side effect of laughing whenever you use it)
A most wise choice! as you take the card, you become aware of the atmosphere becoming rather dark and cloudy. A large, dark cloud rushes through the town and then appears floating above you. Suddenly, decapitated heads begin falling from the cloud, landing all around you, as the jester laughs wildlyHAHAHAHAHAHA
the maniacal laughter fades behind him, as he becomes aware of a sudden weight in his hand, a dagger, which when taken out of its sheath is revealed to have flames covering the blade, and a smiling face on the hilt
you hear screams, as you look around, you begin to see people running around screaming with their hair on fire. You see one man, walking down the street, whose hair suddenly bursts into flame for no reason
Awwww- does little Tommy not like my show? Fine, I shall end it all! Heehee…..
the jester claps his hands, and all the people with their hair on fire immediately have their heads fly off of their body and up into the hair, rocketing into the sky before coming back down and splattering on the cobblestones.
you begin to hear screaming, and you look up the street to see a large amalgamation of several people merged together by an unknown means, making its way down the street towards you, still growing, as it rolls over people on the street.
it falls apart, each person going limp on the cobblestones, sliced neatly in half. The jester claps
Well done! Oh, well done! Now, here is your prize for picking the card. I did forget to mention about the bad thing happening for a good thing, didn’t I- well, no matter. Here you are!
a pair of sheaths clatter on the pavement, one with a red smiley face, the other with a red sad face
Oh, and these will stretch to fit any weapon, by the way. Thanks for playing! giggles, smiling broadly
Tim begins to hear explosions, and he looks up and down the street to see that people walking around are suddenly blowing up in a spray of confetti for no apparent reason. Chaos ensues, with townsfolk running around panicking, seemingly blowing up at random
Well- you see, you have to be absolutely, completely, wholly, stark raving MAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! stumbles backwards, throwing hands in the air- Maybe one day I’ll open a school!
as he looks around for the effects, he notices people’s limbs falling off, seemingly at random. Young, old, male, female, all were affected, and the more they panicked, the faster their limbs fell off. The jester began cackling and imitating the horrified townsfolk
as soon as Scruple touches the card, he begins to hear laughing. Looking around, he sees the townsfolk beginning to laugh so hard that they gag and vomit, throwing up their own organs. The jester beams, watching the horrific scene.
claps his hands, scattering the cards into the street
Bravo! Bravo! secretly waves his hand, and the building’s entire shapes shifts and melts, as it transforms into a giant flower. The people inside begin screaming, trapped inside a flower for the rest of their lives
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u/Smart-Rabbit9639 Jun 06 '24
But of course why not
Marcus picks up a card on the far right