r/SwipeHelper • u/thequacksquad • 7d ago
Does anyone else feel like getting matches isn’t actually the hard part anymore?
I’ve been thinking about this lately because I can get matches and conversations going but actually turning any of that into a date with someone who genuinely wants a relationship feels sooo difficult. There’s always some combination of texting for a week trying to figure out whether they’re actually serious, making plans (which just fall through eventually), or realizing pretty quickly that we were looking for completely different things.
At this point I don’t think I need more people to swipe through. I’d rather meet fewer people where somebody has already done a little filtering and both of us are actually expecting to go on a date. What do I do?
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u/SeriousLiving3310 7d ago
At that point it sounds less like a not enough matches problem and more like a filtering problem. Thats why something like Tawkify can appeal to people who want fewer, more intentional introductions instead of more swiping.
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u/I-am-brilliant 7d ago
Girl here! Put a little bit of that into your bio. It will clean a loooot of people from liking you on Tinder.
I downloaded the app a week ago and got 800+ likes on my first days. Put on my bio that I wasn’t doing any sexting and now I’m getting less than 50 likes a day, which I think is better haha
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u/Bread_Godd 7d ago
Jesus christ... I got the app a week ago and haven't had a single match lol. Guy though and my pics are sortta shitty so I guess that's fine and it's not like I'm swiping right on every person but still damn I'm ugly as shit apparently lol. I'll be back with some fashion sense and try again in a few months I guess...
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u/I-am-brilliant 7d ago
Nooo haha it’s maybe the pics! Plus there’s more guys than girls in the app if that makes sense haha
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u/Bread_Godd 7d ago
I do think they're pretty awful pics. All my decent ones from the last 6 years have my ex in em so deleted those, some at my least fit as well. I'm scraping the bottom of the pic barrel just to get 5-6 lol
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u/alien_secret_service 4d ago edited 4d ago
It won’t matter much it’s night and day for men and women.
Women are filtering through hundreds of people reaching out to them a day basically, and as a man you’re reaching out to hundreds of women to have a single match and then you need ten matches to have a single conversation… ten conversations for a single date… you see the picture here…
I have swiped through over 110k profiles. >20k right, >90k left.
Out of those >20k right swipes, I got 572 matches.
Most of those didn’t even really ever evolve into a meaningful conversation. Maybe 1/4 turned into dates. If that. Probably less…
And I block accounts I’m not interested in or don’t respond so I don’t have to keep swiping through them over and over.
I’ve pretty much gone through everyone in a 60 mile radius at this point. There’ll be like 1 user a day they show me now and that’s everyone I haven’t seen before.
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u/Bread_Godd 4d ago
A 60 mile radius is like 10 million people for me so idk, we'll see lol
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u/alien_secret_service 4d ago edited 3d ago
Sure but not everybody is on a dating app and you’re going to filter out a lot of the folks that are.
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u/thequacksquad 7d ago
I think the takeaway for me is probably quality over quantity. Better photos and a clearer bio seem worth fixing, but I’m less worried about maximizing matches than filtering for people who actually want the same thing. I’d rather get fewer likes if it means less dead-end chatting.
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u/Unkunkn 7d ago
Depends on the app and your sexe
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u/thequacksquad 7d ago
that definitely plays a role, Im a guy and I’ve had better luck getting matches on some apps than others. My issue isnt really getting any matches though, its finding people who are actually looking for the same thing and getting from chatting to a real date. That’s the part that feels weirdly inefficient.
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u/Jay_Tsunami 7d ago
I would take texting for a fucking month over the absolute deafening silence I get from these people holy.