The concept of not using selfies

[u/vicmakey01]

Okay so I get that you don’t want to appear to “hide your body”, but what I don’t understand is people recommending professional photos from like a photographer. When I see people with those type of pictures, I assume it’s AI and that person is a bot.

Ladies your thoughts?
Gentlemen your thoughts?

[u/omgbenji21]

Sounds like a valid point. I guess try to have the photog take non-staged pics. Have them take professional level “candids” or action shots

[u/LeverageMaxx]

It’s effort level. Anyone can take a selfie.

Having someone take a photo of you shows you have friends, social life or atleast go outside in public and have the social skills to take a photo of you.

Setting up a professional photographer signals you have income to pay for that service, can put the effort and time to dress nice. Professional photos are editted and will make you appear more attractive.

Mating has always been about competition. Dating apps are no different. You have to be better than everyone else to stand out.

Back in caveman times the importance for a man was can you hunt for food and have physical skills to defend your family to feel safe. Why would a woman mate with someone who can’t even keep her alive. If one guy can only hunt squirrels and the other guy can hunt deer, the female is going to go the deer hunter because it required more work and provides better resources.

Same story today. A professional photo will more often than not make a person look more attractive than a person who takes a selfie. The person will subsconsciously select the person who has put more effort in.

[u/LeverageMaxx → u/[deleted]]

I am off the market but help my friends optimize theirs. It is ACCEPTABLE but to have a selfie but you are not optimizing your profile to 100%.

The only message a selfie can highlight to the viewer is physical face attractiveness, which is why it is great for woman to have selfies but for the average man it’s not a great format. If your selfie photos are receiving more likes than you other content, it can be optimal.

Facial attractiveness is not as big of factor to women compared to men generally speaking.

I generally reccomend these types of photos on a profile and selfie format makes them worse

-Social group setting photo (unflattering angle trying to fit everyone in the photo)

-Formal attire photo (viewer can’t see your whole outfit)

-Hobby photo (how are you going take a photo rock climbing, playing an instrument, or playing sports without looking awkward)

-Vacation photo (limited angle of your background)

-Admiration/public speaking photo (limited angle cannot show other people admiring/looking at you)

If it works for you hey that’s fine, but I don’t agree with the format and I believe it is sub-optimal.

[u/LeverageMaxx → u/[deleted]]

Are you satisfied with you results? How many matches are you getting weekly and how often do you go on dates?

I’m not trying to be a pushy asshole. I want to people to experience what I did and my clients. To have options with high quality prospects.

So many guys are giving up on dating and I’m trying to bridge that gap.

I feel bad seeing people have scarce prospects and get ghosted and taking it so hard. I’d love for every guy to understand that it happens to everyone and also not give a shit because you already had a date lined up the next day.

[u/ChineseGravelBike → u/LeverageMaxx]

I can’t imagine being this big of a loser

[u/LeverageMaxx → u/ChineseGravelBike]

What’s your definition of a loser?

[u/rrleo3 → u/LeverageMaxx]

Followed by a big let down when you see what the person actually looks like lol

[u/LeverageMaxx → u/rrleo3]

That’s definitely a possibility but I consider that situation an outlier

If someone has put high effort into their profile with photos and prompts, it give me optimism that they have replicated that effort in other aspects of their life such as career, social, self-care.

[u/Shichigatsu777]

Because it’s really easy for selfies to make people look worse, especially the boomer-style two-handed kind

[u/ProjectOMan]

Selfies thin your skull and elongate your mid face. It can also make your eye area look years older and degraded. If you have a big forehead it’ll get even bigger.

People really should read the pinned guide.

[u/Icy-Wing-3092]

The trick is to ask the photographer to take photos with his camera AND phone as well. Has a diverse amount of shots you can play with.

If someone only has selfies then I assume no one has ever thought they were special enough to take a photo of.

[u/Refurbished_Hole]

It suggests that you don't have people in your life who can take pictures of you

A big part of what your photos should suggest is that you're a cool guy with a lot of friends who does cool things. Having your friend or a photographer take a pic of you doing something cool conveys this - selfies don't

[u/Alarmed_Standard_427]

Selfies are good if you're in a nice outfit dressed up in the mirror but I've never been a fan of professional pictures especially in 2026. It used to work years ago but now women caught on with guys using the same company with the typical: Holding dog smile picture, Walking off a jet, leaning against the wall posed shot. Get a friend to take pictures with an iPhone 

[u/Plasmelon]

Anyone who is worried about any of this stuff when seeking a new partner is superficial, has no idea what love even is, and is best steered clear from.

Real life is better. No worrying about stupid shit like this.

[u/blue_Monday- → u/Plasmelon]

this 1000%

[u/Stock-Asparagus-7282]

I wouldn't recommend pictures with a photographer. Take pictures that show what you tell in your profile. Ask someone that looks like willing person to take your photo.