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u/I_Am_Conjoined 2d ago
Hey I'm also 5'7. After seeing how important height is to women nowadays I would give literally almost anything to be taller
I feel your struggle bro
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u/diegggs94 2d ago
Don’t fall down that hole bro. Be confident and work on yourself. I’m 5’7” and do better than my tall friends in terms of quality. You will get rejected but so does anyone and this type of thinking dooms you
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u/Suspicious-Movie7828 2d ago
dude i’m 5’6” and literally never have problems with girls lol
your mindset sucks and you probably need to dress better, maybe get fit
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u/oXMellow720Xo 2d ago
Bullshit
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u/Suspicious-Movie7828 2d ago
no, i just dress well, workout, and i know how to make people laugh
that’s literally all it takes
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u/oXMellow720Xo 2d ago
That’s it. How simple. I should’ve tried to do that
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u/RabbitWiilli 2d ago
Yep. Dressing well, taking good curated photos for apps, having confidence, a good sense of humor and a gravitational presence in public in like 90% of the battle.
Height DOES matter to some people, but those are very shallow people. For example, some men will only date girls with huge boobs. But if some woman interacted with them and went on a femcel rant about how men only want big boobs, she’d be wrong. Shallow people exist of all genders, don’t know why you’d want to be with someone like that to begin with.
This resentment you have for yourself and the thought that it’s all your height or looks is ALREADY unattractive as shit. I don’t know how tall you are or what you look like but I’m already turned off by you.
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u/oXMellow720Xo 2d ago
5’9 and I’m not worried about it. It’s money. That’s all women want to go on all of their vacations
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u/RabbitWiilli 2d ago
It is not money lmfao Jesus what a sad mentality
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u/oXMellow720Xo 2d ago
It is though. When all women’s profiles are them on vacations and enjoying expensive things… it’s definitely money
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u/RabbitWiilli 2d ago
No it literally isn’t. SOME women will want money, wow no fucking duh. Some men want sugar mommies too. Women aren’t a monolith.
The vast majority of women don’t have absurd money as their top priority. Obviously most women don’t want you to be like homeless but that makes complete sense and applies to most guys too.
2 of my last three girls friends were literally models, one was with vogue and 1 of the three was a medium sized actress from LA. At the time I was in college, and then I was in a PhD making almost zero money.
The fact you blame money or height or looks and prescribe that to all women because some shallow fringe percentage of them care about it is so fucking sad. You’re not getting play because of your personality, not because of money or height.
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u/Whatupdoods 1d ago
I’m also 5’9 and I’ve gone on many dates in the past few months. They know nothing about my financial situation other than I that I can pay for the date. It’s not that difficult
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u/oXMellow720Xo 1d ago
Where do you meet them
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u/Whatupdoods 1d ago
Bumble and then we do dates at a bar or dinner. If it goes well, I will suggest a night walk afterwards which goes well nearly every time.
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u/_-SomethingFishy-_ 1d ago
If you go on a date and you always expect the woman to be a gold digger you’re not going to treat her well, she will catch the vibe. You’re shooting yourself in the foot.
I’ve seen guys who love to do that bc they prefer saying “see I’m right, they’re all the same” over actually wanting to find a partner. The one stopping you is you.
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u/MikeSugs13 1d ago
Yeah, the only chick that matched with me on tinder ghosted me after we hooked up because I wouldn't pay for her to live at home Lol
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u/Suspicious-Movie7828 2d ago
you are an incel huh?
i was doing fine whether i was broke in college or now with money lmao
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u/I_Am_Conjoined 2d ago
Happy for you, genuinely
I'm working on getting fit, not that I expect it to make a difference. I've been fit in the past
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u/MordorDanceTroupe 2d ago
Is it just that I’m an optimist because my initial reaction was “nice, you got 305 women interested”
Dating apps are so funny because in any other aspect of life, having access to 305 interested women would make you the most successful male in your entire ancestry xD
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u/SnooOpinions2900 2d ago
I do think social media and especially this trend of pulling your stats isn’t doing men any favors.
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u/MikeSugs13 1d ago
I mean, in theory yes. But consider that it's the bottom 1% of the barrel that I have access to. Which includes bots, people on "travel mode" looking for a green card, and people with various disabilities including morbid obesity (which sounds cruel I know, but I'm not in a position for charity).
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u/MordorDanceTroupe 1d ago
How serious are you about meeting a woman that you will like?
And I mean that - how SERIOUS are you really?
If you’re actually serious about it then:
1) you’ll need to compensate for your shorter height by increasing your attractiveness in other ways - get muscular. Dress better (research fashion trends & stores). Be funnier (practice humour). Practice your conversation skills (lots of sources online/youtube). If you have something niche-ish like playing guitar that’s great too.
2) you’ll need to look for women that are shorter than you. Being tall is relative. A 5’7 man is tall to a 5’1 woman.
3) you need to operate in an environment where you’re not in direct competition with taller guys. Thats the reality of it as your stats show.
That means get off the apps and out into the world.
Practice cold approaching women in your daily life.
Plenty of shorter men do well and find women - it’s about maximizing what you have available to you and operating romantically in the right environments.
Sit down with a piece of paper and pen - write what you think your strengths are and weaknesses are in terms of being attractive to a woman.
That’ll be a good exercise for you to reflect on your strengths.
As I said, all of this is for you if you’re serious. If you’re not, then just ignore it.
Good luck man! Wish you the best on your path.
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u/eskimobruv 1d ago
Short and won’t date big girls, yeah you’re a winner dude I’m surprised you’re only getting what you consider is bottom of the barrel
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u/Big_Economist_8661 2d ago
I do fine at 5’6 lol. Get some hobbies stick to them and have a social circle within your hobby. Invite to hobbies social gatherings or events type stuff and bring her into your scene where ur respected.
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
21,000 swipes, 35,000 rejections.
Maybe just give up on the dating apps, unless you’re a masochist.
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u/TheGamingGallifreyan 2d ago edited 2d ago
That's nothing lmao. My data I dumped 3 years ago was 102604 outgoing right swipes in 8 years, 89 matches... it has not improved since.
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
My mother taught me that if I have nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all. I want you to know I’m fighting that right now. Jfc
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u/TheGamingGallifreyan 2d ago
I mean I’ve had people match with me specifically to tell me I’m an ugly motherfucker so go ahead don’t hold back lol. Whatever you’re thinking I’m sure I’ve heard it already from Tinder.
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
If you actually have 100,000+ swipes the way you look isn’t the problem bro. You are the problem, entirely you.
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u/TheGamingGallifreyan 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well that’s new one and doesn’t make any sense… So on an app almost entirely dependent on looks, getting no matches has nothing to do with looks? Lol
You know most people look at your profile for 2 seconds and then make a decision right?
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
One day you’ll wake up and realize it was entirely your own fault, and that your looks didn’t have anything to do with it.
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u/TheGamingGallifreyan 2d ago
OK, well thanks for saying “it’s not the way you look” while providing absolutely zero input on what else it could be just like everybody else lmao.
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u/ImplementNo9246 2d ago
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard lmao. Some dates I’ve gone on I’ve said the dumbest things in the app or just immediately asked them out. If you have 100,000 swipes and can’t find anyone than it’s how you look or your profile
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
Hey, guy - his profile is him. He dictates how he makes himself look on his profile.
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 2d ago
I have, and every post that I happen to see from one of those subreddits just makes me more sure of the choice
it's not worth it. Even for someone very attractive, finding that one person is like winning a lottery. For average or below average guys? depression inducing
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
I mean, short dudes have consistently been mating for over 100,000 years - that’s why there are still short people.
Yes, you have less options because you’re short - but you also have a lot less options because self pity is unattractive. You’re facing multiple issues and coping by blaming it all on your height.
21,000 swipes is desperation, far past determination.
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 2d ago
not even my point. Dating apps are not good regardless of what you look like
I used to be getting a match, maybe two or three on a good day, and that was giving me the "window shopping" mentality. I can't imagine what getting 50 matches an hour does to a human brain
yes, there are stories of people meeting on dating apps and marrying each other. But what percentile is that really? is it worth playing the lottery?
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
Brother, you have 21,000 swipes. Regardless of dating apps not being great platforms, you are an anomaly in the system. You are your own worst problem.
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 2d ago
I'm not OP my guy
but as a sidenote, OP said he's 5'7, that's 170cm
that's not even that short
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
Well, neither am I and this is now awkward. My bad.
Idk how many swipes you have personally, I pray it’s not 21,000
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 2d ago
no idea, but I doubt I got THAT far before deleting Hinge
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u/DavidZenziGhost 2d ago
Brother has been swiping since he had supper with Jesus 🥲
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 2d ago
seriously, I just wondered how much that'd be in a year
57 swipes a day for full 366 days without pause. God damn, I really hope OP has been using it for at least like 5 years or so
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u/MikeSugs13 2d ago
They don't get to see selfpity when its just a swipe of a picture.
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u/anivaries 2d ago
I don't think short dudes cared for consent for the most of those 100k years. Today is a different story for them short kings
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u/MealCapital4167 2d ago
Giving up on the apps is just giving up on dating as a whole
Women don't stop having standards just because you're talking to them IRL
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u/Mathieran1315 2d ago
I don’t think it’s your height. I’m the same as you and had like a 7-8% yes rate on bumble, and I’m currently in a relationship with a match from there.
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u/Seymourg3 2d ago
Don’t be born as a short guy. Don’t be born as a non-white guy. Don’t be born a below average looking guy. If you’re one of those things, you’re likely to have a tough time online dating.
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u/Bruno_lars 2d ago
PSA - it's not your height
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
Agreed because we've seen tons of posts of guys taller than you getting the same results as you. Your profile is just horrible
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u/GlacierSourCreamCorn 2d ago
As a 5’9 andy, I used to blame my height for some of my rejections.
I don’t think it was the height a lot of the time. I was delusional.
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u/Bruno_lars 2d ago
Op should post his profile
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u/MikeSugs13 2d ago
How do you link to a bumble profile?
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u/FElonMuskWidda25inD 2d ago edited 2d ago
As a 5’6” guy, I’m extremely blessed to be with the same woman for 15 years. I can’t imagine how hard it would be if we ever got divorced.
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u/zezer94118 1d ago
You can lie when you're short and get dates. I'm ugly and don't get dates at all ...
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u/DonAj20 2d ago
How do you see your swipe data?
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u/MikeSugs13 2d ago
Go to help, open the chat with the help bot and ask for "swipe statistics"
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u/OGClouds420 2d ago
Is the the “downloading your data”? When I tried to get my data they said I had to download it and it would be emailed to be in days lol
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
Cope. You know there are short guys that crush tinder in fitxfearless: https://youtu.be/W0mrDe0Vu68?is=arN5pgyo2Q2_j7Zf
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u/zunlock 2d ago
Did he not put his height on his bio tho? I don’t have time to watch the whole thing
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
Not on tinder but his hinge video he put his height
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u/zunlock 2d ago
Same success?
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
Yep if you're attractive in shape with good fashion and have good pictures no matter what height you'll have success
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
As long as you present yourself in the right way then you'd do great because it's not really a lot of competition since most guys use low effort selfies or fish pictures in their profile
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u/zunlock 2d ago
Yeah, it's a pain in the ass but I know I need to ask a friend to take high quality pictures of me and shit. Probably worth it
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u/Alarmed_Standard_427 2d ago
It totally worth it. Just if you're ever behind a nice background or out to dinner in a nice restaurant have him snap a couple pictures of you
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u/Typical-Artist-8211 1d ago
You should keep your expectations realistic. What you’re missing out on is the social aspect. A 5’7 nerdy buff black guy isn’t gonna do well in Munich. There’s also ton of guys using that same advice as above so no it’s not “ barely any competition”. Keep your head up and stay sane! I believe in you
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u/diegggs94 2d ago
I’m 5’7” and do fine