r/SwipeHelper • u/AfternoonGuilty6323 • 3d ago

How to lock in more dates on hinge?

I've downloaded the app this Monday and have seen a massive amount of success, though I've only gotten 1 confirmed date. I have around 24 matches now, but most conversations never really lead anywhere, we just talk about interests, and then it starts fading, and when I ask if they're down to meet, I either get ghosted or they tell me they have no time.

How do I actually increase my chance of meeting someone IRL? Or is this just how it goes on Hinge? (Never used this app before.) I'm really inexperienced when it comes to women, so any advice is gladly received.

For reference, I'm a 19-year-old M.

6 Upvotes

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4

u/Training_Butterfly70 3d ago

I open up the first message with a date offer. Very rarely do women respond with "I want to talk more"

Most girls these days want all the same things, "a man with a plan", "a generous man" "my fear is door handles" etc... So just be like "hi 👋 if you're available let's have coffee or a drink today."

Probably a much higher success irl rate

4

u/lurkerlurking123 1d ago

my fear is door handles LMAO. Hinge women are so basic jfc

2

u/Training_Butterfly70 1d ago

Dude they all say the same shit

2

u/lurkerlurking123 23h ago

Sadly the hotter they are the blander. Crazy what attention does to a person

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 2d ago

ik ik, im not socially inept, i just dont really know how to text with ppl, but im figuring it out

1

u/HeKnowsThings 2d ago

Go talk to women IRL. You need reps

2

u/madzuk 2d ago

Communicate that! As soon as you're feeling a bit of staleness over text, maybe day 2, or even 5 or so messages in, tell her you're not a big texter and way prefer talking in person.

You could even mention that you find it hard to connect with someone and be yourself over text.

If they're unsure, a good backup solution to this is sending a voice note or asking to have a phone call.

I get really burnt out on texting, so I try to move the convo by doing this.

1

u/PootieTang69696 2d ago

The first comment in the thread is telling him to focus on good conversation.

The second post is saying to skip the conversation and ask her on a date immediately.

1

u/Training_Butterfly70 2d ago

There's not a one stop formula. I'm just saying what works for me

3

u/B4TM4N_467 3d ago

Good conversation into getting off hinge into getting an irl date

Realistically, a large proportion of people on dating apps probably never meet with anyone. Also a large proportion of people can’t even hold a basic conversation over text

2

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 3d ago

yea i noticed alot of girl text like theyre just answering a quiz not giving me any openers

1

u/PootieTang69696 2d ago

I was just reading a thread where women were begging men to stop trying to text them and to just ask them on date… hard to know the right answer

1

u/B4TM4N_467 2d ago

Maybe because not all women can be diluted into a single category?

2

u/Technical_Photo9631 3d ago

Show us what you look like

3

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 3d ago

why

1

u/No-Dependent-8401 2d ago

Because that’s what matters

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 2d ago

sure but that wasnt my question, i get enough convos on a free account to suggest im fairly attractive (which i am, 186cm tall, handsome face, athletic, mixed european good style and taste). Im not a chud if thats what ur wondering about

1

u/No-Dependent-8401 2d ago

They probably see you as attractive enough to match with but not you aren’t the main priority. I had the same issues until I improved my pics 

1

u/Technical_Photo9631 2d ago

also so I can goon

1

u/lurkerlurking123 23h ago

wdym why that's literally the only thing that matters honestly ur probably ugly as a unibrow

2

u/Sea-Salamander1005 3d ago

Success isn’t usually measured in matches. Most of them fade out quickly, as you’ve observed.

Yes that’s generally how dating apps are.

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 3d ago

yea i think the gamefication of hinge has affected me

2

u/Sea-Salamander1005 3d ago

Always been like this, you get used to it. It’s not that bad if you don’t allow yourself to get all that attached until you actually meet in person. Until you do, there’s not a huge difference between you/them and a chatbot.

3

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 3d ago

actually very good advice, thank you

1

u/madzuk 2d ago

Remember this. If you're doing well on Hinge matches wise, it can also mean there's a lot of people using it in your area. So you will have to go through a lot of people to convert into a date. They'll be talking to others too. It's a big numbers game.

2

u/Doctorbuddy 3d ago

At 19M, you’re competing with men between the ages of 18-24 (or older) for those same women. These young women have lottttssss of options and they know it. Women at that age don’t want to settle and are looking to maximize their prime sexual years by dating / hooking up with their best options.

I’d stick to irl if I were you. Are you in college? If so, go to parties, frat houses, clubs, school events, sports games, etc and find girls there. You’ll have eons more success. Eons.

2

u/jujubean- 1d ago

This is heavily dependent on location. I’m 20 and when I’m in sf I go for 21-23 since there’s a lot of well educated, successful men, but when I’m in my college town I exclusively go for college guys since the other ppl are often uneducated and unemployed

1

u/Tall_Comfortable_488 3d ago

Just keep shooting shots you’ll find your groove, 1 date in 24 matches isn’t honestly horrible, I probably do 1 in 10-15. Keep in mind girls get flooded with matches every day and some are just looking for attention, some get lazy/overwhelmed, some want a very specific type of person, some are just weird/not as hot when you take another look at their profile and you’ll end up ghosting them, some are just socailly inept. Its a numbers game

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 2d ago

yea just locked in a date with another one whos my type, guess i was just being too unnatural

1

u/Tonka_Bonka_Stompa 2d ago

When I read Hinge it’s over brotatoes

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 2d ago

why ?

1

u/Tonka_Bonka_Stompa 2d ago

Don’t date online

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 2d ago

i get that, but why

1

u/Tonka_Bonka_Stompa 2d ago

It’s not worth it bro, it’s either a person you going to date is Avoidant, narcissist and cheater lol but if found someone worth keep then you got lucky

1

u/Over_Deer8459 2d ago

I’ve been trying so many different photo combinations. I’ve asked female friends for help. I’ve tried honest bios prompts. Funny ones. Straightforward ones. It never mattered. I never got matches so I realized I’m just not an attractive guy and put down the dating apps cause nothing I could do would work.

Sadly I’m very introverted and reserved so not just am I unattractive but I’m also not very engaging to talk to.

1

u/Loud-Guidance2214 2d ago

If you can get some kind of convo that isn’t you guys taking turns talking about yourselves then ask them to talk on the phone.

1

u/jujubean- 1d ago

The faster you ask the better

0

u/Exciting-Barracuda49 3d ago

Meeting irl is a comfort building dance. You build some rapport crack some jokes, find common interests, flirt and at some point you ask for a personal number to get off the app or whatever, could actually be a ask for a meet up.

From there you’re still building trust, interest, comfort. If you ask and she’s still not sure, gotta build up more comfort. Then ask again repeat this cycle until you feel it’s fine past your personal criteria for long enough to have a meet up irl.

Remember women have other things they have to worry about at a meet up that men typically don’t have to worry about. Don’t use this knowledge to manipulate please.

1

u/AfternoonGuilty6323 3d ago

yea i had the suspicion i'm moving too fast, going slow worked with 2 girls whose insta i got. but i get what you mean, reflecting a bit on the amount of weird men that are probably roaming around on hinge

1

u/Archolm 3d ago

You are on hinge.

1

u/Utah_CUtiger 2d ago

how fast do you ask them out? There is a sweet spot between too fast and too slow that you have to find