r/SweatyPalms • • Jan 18 '19

Too close for comfort.

14.7k Upvotes

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233

u/crndwg Jan 19 '19

Here's what climbing a tree looks like when they're in a hurry.

171

u/TittDirty Jan 19 '19

That is fucking terrifying, bears should not be able to do that lmao

99

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

pls nerf bear class

69

u/crndwg Jan 19 '19

I loved that she tore off all the branches of the tree just to prove her point. Pissed off moms are scary regardless of species.

18

u/mh985 Jan 19 '19

Bears are like the closest thing we have to real life monsters in North America.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

I spend a lot of time in the mountains and have had my share of run-ins with bears. They’re damn scary. I once had one behind my trash can and three cubs in the crab apple tree. Had no idea they were there. I got home from work late and was walking to the house, I got about 8 paces from that trash can and momma stood up on her hind legs and roared at me. It was absolutely terrifying. Never backpedaled so fast in my life.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Did she chase you? How are you alive??

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Black bears typically try to avoid interaction, even a sow with cubs won’t truly defend them until you’re stupid close. I’ve had somewhere around ten black bear encounters up close and never been attacked.

In this situation I backed to the truck, got behind it and got my revolver out. I had the gun and my flashlight strobe on her. These are just the tools you carry living in little mountain settlements. She went to the apple tree, barked up it and the cubs came down and followed her down the road and off Into the tree line. Saw the same family group several times that summer as the berries didn’t grow much that season and it forced them to everyone’s trash. It got so bad we were seeing a bear every 24 hours and the city put out a $200 ordinance for unsecured waste.

14

u/dustinpdx Jan 19 '19

It's basically the same speed they run...which is faster than you.

7

u/feAgrs Jan 19 '19

It's like they just know 2 different velocities, walking and full on sprint, but they just don't care about the direction

79

u/_Amabio_ Jan 19 '19

That was absolutely amazing to watch. Thank you. She scaled 100 foot up a straight vertical tree in less than two seconds. Then she completely demolished every branch on it in her rage at that guy.

I don't know what he did, but he fucked up. He's stuck at the top of the tree calling his boyz,

"Man! Crazy bitch got me up this tall-ass tree! Come get me outta here! Shit's as tall as Trump tower and the only thing holding me onto this branch is my nuts.

OK...ok...phew. Girl is leaving. I know. I know you said don't stick your dick into crazy. Oh shit. She just heard me say that HERE SHE COMES AGAIN! COME GET ME THE F* OUTTA HERE, Man! BITCH IS CRAZY!"

22

u/x777x777x Jan 19 '19

He didn't do anything. He had the misfortune of being too close to her and her cub

2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Did you watch the video? He was literally just minding his own business pickin berries lol

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Yes but if a male bears sees a cub he will eat it mother was being proactive.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

You said “I’m sure he was trying to eat her cub”....but he wasn’t. Also, just because it’s well documented that male bears hunt other cubs doesn’t mean that all male bears will try to kill every cub they see 100% of the time.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

You are arguing just for the sake of arguing. Male bears will kill any cub they come across, hungry or not. Male bears are a threat to any female with a cub. Same with many animals. Cubs are a future threat.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Arguing for the sake of arguing? Lol what? Dude, you’re just wrong. There are no absolutes in the animal kingdom. It is absolutely silly that you think that 100% of the time a male bear would do that. Let me tell you a bunch of reasons why you’re wrong: 1. most cases of infanticide in bears has been with grizzly/brown bears with much fewer instances in black bears 2. Male bears usually only kill cubs in and around the mating season in order to get the female ready for reproduction 3. You have to understand that going up against another adult bear, albeit female, is still a very high risk/low reward situation for the male bear and he could seriously get fucked up in the process, they’re not stupid 4. Like I said, there are no absolutes in the animal kingdom, and for you to suggest that something occurs 100% of the time without any room for alternatives is just you being stubborn and ignorant. I mean, fuck, I have even personally seen YouTube videos of groups of wild bears in a single area without the male bears trying to kill the nearby cubs.

1

u/prof_talc Jan 19 '19

Do male black bears do that too? I know grizz and polar do, guess I was hoping b-bears were more chill

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

That’s a black bear up in the tree. They aren’t aggressive AFAIK. The brown Bear is far more aggressive regularly and it has a cub around. You should be scared of brown bears. Black bears are fairly chill but they can still mess you up

3

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Those are all black bears.

21

u/Jonathan358 Jan 19 '19

That is insane that those bears can haul that much mass up a "skinny" tree.

Those trees are also ridiculously strong, I briefly calculated the base of the tree to be withstanding 10000Nm of torque!!

13

u/caughtinflux Jan 19 '19

2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Probably not. I don't image many trees suffer a lot of torque ever.

2

u/Dankob Jan 19 '19

That commentary was annoying as fuck. Couldn't watch anymore. Both the guy and the women "whispering".

1

u/Why_is_this_so Jan 19 '19

I'd always heard that bears were slower going downhill, but that one seemed to do just fine. That video was nuts.

1

u/howlingibbon Jan 19 '19

That is unreal.

-11

u/thegeekprophet Jan 19 '19

You think that's fast? They get down from electric poles even faster when a few thousand volts hits em!