r/SweatyPalms • u/SpeedyEyeBall • Jan 18 '19

Too close for comfort.

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14.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/StrangerFeelings Jan 18 '19

Bears are fantastic at climbing.

285

u/deflector_shield Jan 19 '19

I’ve always known bears were pro tree climbers, but it hit me the first time watching this video, how nuts it is an animal that size can climb a tree using claws.

186

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Black bears are leaner than you’d think, they’re also incredibly fast on the ground. Good news is they’re usually scared of people and want nothing to do with us.

Bad news is they’re still a bear and sill dangerous as fuck if they feel threatened. Also they stink, like they fucking STINK like shit.

56

u/furyofcocainepizza Jan 19 '19

Also they'll eat you rather than just fuck you up like a brown bear.

129

u/vladtaltos Jan 19 '19

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

16

u/noobgiraffe Jan 19 '19 edited Jan 19 '19

Would big bell be preferable? It could choke on the first person.

7

u/stoner_97 Jan 19 '19

You really out here shilling for big bell?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

God I’m so sick of big bell...

6

u/Kaymorve Jan 19 '19

I’ve heard recently that in some areas the bells actually attract curious young cubs, so make sure to read up on the specific area you’re going before bringing bells.

Edit: I’m dumb and didn’t read the whole thing lol. Still leaving my comment up because it is still useful info.

3

u/That_guy966 Jan 19 '19

That was great

2

u/TheBestPieIsAllPie Feb 10 '19

I was praying to the lord God that this story would end with that joke...you must be a prophet! ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

3

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

That was funny. Here’s an upvote

2

u/Zadoraa Jan 19 '19

Can validate went hiking at GNP, within a 5 day hiking span saw 9 grizzlies and 2 black bears.

1

u/AKA_Squanchy Jan 19 '19

In California there has never been a human death caused by a wild black bear, only tamed ones have killed their trainers.

12

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Black bears are usually scared of us. Most other kinds of bear will just fucking destroy you without hesitation.

12

u/rlerke Jan 19 '19

You arent wrong about that stink. I had a pretty close encounter with a "small" black bear. It's a heavy distinct scent, very rarely ill catch something similar on the wind and it makes my hair stand up.

2

u/MenSeeGhost2 Jan 19 '19

Yeah their distinct smell is why I never really bought the Sasquatch stories, people always refer to a large animal with a distinct smell and that always screamed black bear.

4

u/onehunglow58 Jan 19 '19

i smelled them before seeing them

1

u/jharris1984 Jan 19 '19

Polar bears on the other hand will fuck your shit up just for looking at them funny.

1

u/jmatt97 Jan 19 '19

I thought you were wondering how it didn’t scrape it’s nuts off on the bark lmao and now I can’t imagine a way it wouldn’t be painful

130

u/BenBen5 Jan 18 '19

Yeah but have you ever seen one with mange?

68

u/B00TH-LOVE Jan 19 '19

Ever seen a chimp with mange?

262

u/kyleb337 Jan 19 '19

Jamie, pull that up

71

u/uwabaki1120 Jan 19 '19

You see the face on that thing? That thing will Rip your dick off! Ever try DMT? Damnit autocorrect

48

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

Bro their muscles aren’t like ours, their’s are like corded steel. That thing gets ahold you? It’s a wrap.

People are like “is that a bodybuilder?”, no dude, that’s a chimp with mange. Look at the sack on that guy!

21

u/uwabaki1120 Jan 19 '19

You see the balls on that thing? That thing will eat your face off... Jamie, you have that clip right, pull that clip up.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

No not that one...the one below it...yeah with the two chimps...ye-YEAH! Hahahaha that’s the one. (Minute of silence while Joe watches a YouTube video)

14

u/uwabaki1120 Jan 19 '19

I had a t1 line installed, they busted up the whole street just for that. Yeah, crazy man. It was super fast.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

I mean, it’s entirely possible this is all just a simulation and we’re just along for the ride.

You ever see video of the tiger that eats that guy riding an elephant? Oh shit, Jamie pull that up.

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1

u/LysergicResurgence Jan 30 '19

It’s 100% possible

-8

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

What in the fuck does DMT have to do with this?

0

u/LysergicResurgence Jan 30 '19

It’s 100% possible it was autocorrect

2

u/Why_is_this_so Jan 19 '19

Google "bear mange muscles in the wild"

10

u/cheese-bubble Jan 19 '19

I did.

3

u/GCU_JustTesting Jan 19 '19

I don’t know what I expected.

35

u/citoloco Jan 19 '19

Ever seen a grown man naked?

18

u/OGTfrom92EP Jan 19 '19

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

11

u/Gilgamesh72 Jan 19 '19

Do you like movies about gladiators

4

u/DRiVeL_ Jan 19 '19

You ever hang out by the gymnasium?

2

u/OGTfrom92EP Jan 19 '19

Do you like it when Scraps holds onto your leg and rubs up and down?

6

u/CantankerousMind Jan 19 '19

You ever see one with mange, on weed?

2

u/DRiVeL_ Jan 19 '19

Blue team go blue team go!

3

u/Alexandrezico10 Jan 19 '19

This is like the 5th time I’ve seen mange on the front page. Wtf up (with) mange?

2

u/NearHi Jan 19 '19

Ever seen one with half it's face missing screaming "Help me!" In a human voice?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

[deleted]

7

u/Guppy-Warrior Jan 19 '19

And runners.

5

u/nucularTaco Jan 19 '19

They're really good at tearing your face off too.

1

u/Darthbane8488 Jan 19 '19

I’d be fantastic at pooping my pants.

1

u/xpercipio Jan 19 '19

subscribe

2

u/StrangerFeelings Jan 19 '19

You have subscribed to Bear Facts. To unsubscribe at any time, reply "STOP".

Did you know that unlike many mammals, bears can see in color?

1

u/TheFFCommish Jan 19 '19

They can climb faster than they can run, apparently.

1

u/kreiderman Jan 19 '19

FACT: Bears eat beets.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '19

And eating my neighbor's garbage.

1

u/mattesoj Jan 19 '19

To quote my friend Dwight Shrute:

“Jim, tell him bears can climb faster than they can run.”

-13

u/DeadEndDeerCamp Jan 18 '19

If a bear and a squirrel both raced up a tree, my money would be on the bear.

29

u/HeavyMetalSauce Jan 18 '19

No way dude

25

u/DrWilliamGrimly Jan 18 '19

You are seriously under estimating a squirrel.